our dog just died--lots of questions

[lollie010]

Our sweet Beagle named Rudy just suddenly died. He was fine yesterday morning when we left for church. We came home and he had vomited quite a bit and was breathing different. He died in the night. DH just buried him and we are both having a hard time.

 

What do I tell the kids? They are 4 and 2. DH just wants to tell them we took Rudy to the doctor, but I am afraid that will confuse them.

 

I don't understand exactly what happened to him. He stays inside exclusively so I don't know how he could have picked up a deadly virus or something. He got sick in the house and died in the house--are we at risk of getting sick?

 

I have bleached and bleached everything again and again. When can I safely say that my house is clean again?

 

I am supposed to babysit a newborn tomorrow. Will it be safe to do so?

 

We are all so sad. We got Rudy after Sept. 11, because we were having trouble dealing with all of that and he has been like our baby ever since. Sorry for so many questions, but I would appreciate any advise.

 

Laurel T.

[Mrs. Readsalot]

I am so sorry for you lose. It is very difficult to lose a beloved pet. We lost our sweet Sheltie suddenly last summer to I know how you are feeling.

 

I would not be overly concerned about catching something. It sounds like you cleaned up well and most diseases do not pass between humans and dogs. Could he have gotten into something outside. From the symtoms it sounds like some type of poisoning or maybe a blockage in the digestive tract. Generally vomiting without other symtoms is a digestive blockage but this just come from you years as working as a vet tech...ie I am not an expert. I would call your vet and let them know the symtoms and ask for their advice.

 

Again my heart goes out to you today.

[Karenciavo]

Are you sure he didn't eat something poisonous? Sorry for your lose. :(

[Doran]

I'm really sorry. Losing a pet is very difficult under any circumstances, but it certainly is shocking when there is no warning at all. It sounds to me as if he ate something in the house that might have been poisonous to him. Or, perhaps when you let him out that morning? I would not worry in the least about whatever it is being contagious. Not even with a newborn coming over. As for what to tell the kids -- just tell them the truth. They may ask questions, but there is no reason for them not to have the basic truths.

 

Pets, like people, teach us so much. It sounds like Rudy was able to be an amazing teacher to you in a short time. I know you'll miss him terribly.

 

((((Laurel and family))))

 

Doran

[Pam Wilhelm]

When I had to put down my sister's lab that we got because she couldn't take care of her anymore I told the kids that the dog went to live in the country on a farm with lots of room to run, etc. The kids were young, like yours, and I just didn't want to get into explaining what we did........... someday we will tell them the truth and why we felt it was right to lie...... but not yet. Now they have an idea about what it means to "put an animal down".... and a stray we took in with a big tumor we put down and they were okay with it.... they understood.... but they are now 7,8 and 10.

 

I don't know what to advise....... I would tend to give the kids the truth (it's easier over the years, trust me..... keeping up with our lie is tough sometimes).. have a ceremony, let the kids grieve.... and move on.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dogs sweet smile (they all have sweet smiles) will always be with you.... I remember my Mattie so well.

[snickelfritz]

They've lost a gerbil, a fish, & grandma's dog.

 

We tell them a simplified version of the truth and answer their questions. Usually, it's a few questions and they are ready to move on. Then, she (the older) may bring it back up a days, weeks, or months later. But, she doesn't really act emotional about it. Very matter-of-fact. She might say "I miss Mickey." I just affirm that that's understandable and say I miss him too.

 

I usually emphasize very, very sick and say it's different then when they get the sneezes/coughs and we say they(the kids) are sick. They may want to see where he was buried and they may not. Mine usually ask where it went.

 

Did you do RTL and post on the Winter Promise site?

[Chris in VA]

We have lost a cat (had her 22 years!) and numerous gerbils. (Actually 2 cats, but ds was under a year.) We have

always held funerals; it just seems a respectful way to give thanks for the life we shared. We wrap the da (dear animal?) in something soft and biodegradable, dig a small hole, and invite the kids to say a few kind words. We place the animal, cover it gently (sometimes we cover it more later), and say a prayer thanking God for giving us (insert pet's name), and dh usually adds a scripture about how God takes care of the sparrows, etc. By then, we are all crying, but it is all good.

On and off we remember aloud our pet. Eventually it gets easier.

I see animal/pet funerals as important parts of grieving, and also as a way to "practice" for when beloved people die. We want to see death as part of life, natural and without fear, knowing our God takes care of us when we are sick, and when we are sad.

[lollie010]

Thanks so much for your support this morning. It was to early to start calling my family and I knew I could count on you ladies to help me get through the difficult morning. The kids woke up about 30 minutes ago and the questions have already begun. DS was really confused as to why I had mopped the floor. I am sure that was a "shocker" for him since mopping the floor is not something I usually get done before they wake up. Actually, it rarely get done at all.

 

Thank you for the encouragement just to tell them the truth. I think this can be a good experience for them. DS has had alot of questions lately about what death actually is. He recently said "I hope you die." I had a hard time helping him understand why this was wrong to say--especially since he does not know what "die" means. I think now might be the time for a gentle lesson on the cycle of life.

 

Did you do RTL and post on the Winter Promise site?

 

Yes, I remember you. We really enjoyed RTL as a gentle introduction to learning. I credit the science part of RTL for ds's awesome observation skills. Those skills did not serve me well this morning, because he immediately sensed that something was different in the house. Items were in different places, the window was open, he could smell bleach. You can't hide anything from him.

 

Its great to hear from you. I hope that all is well.

 

 

You ladies are the best.

[lollie010]

I see animal/pet funerals as important parts of grieving, and also as a way to "practice" for when beloved people die

 

Thanks so much for this. You ladies are giving me the strength to actually do this when my instinct is to hide reality from them. I think we will plan something when DH gets home from work--if he makes it through work as sad as he was this morning.

 

Laurel T.

[Liz CA]

What do I tell the kids? They are 4 and 2. DH just wants to tell them we took Rudy to the doctor, but I am afraid that will confuse them.

 

 

 

Laurel T.

 

I always told ds the truth. I would say something like Rudy is in doggie heaven (don't know if this offends your faith or beliefs) and he is very happy there chewing on big bones etc. I always tried to make clear that the animal was not suffering anymore but we were suffering his/her loss.

 

I found children can and will deal with the truth. There'll be tears of course and questions and they may still talk about him several months from now. This is all normal in my opinion. It's part of the life and death cycle.

 

Sorry for your loss. We've lost a few beloved companions and it never gets any easier.

 

[Laura in VA]

this fall. It was very difficult for our entire family. Our youngest is 3, and we told her that Mike (the dog) had become very sick, not people-sick, but dog-sick and that he had died. She still talks about him and our Chinese dwarf hamster that died about a month ago and says that she misses them. She handled the whole death issue much better than I imagined she would.

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

[Soph the vet]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am a vet and I have seen what you are describing many times. Given the vomiting and difficult breathing resulting in sudden death it really boils down to one of two things in an adult dog.

A toxin (poison) or more likely gastrodilation and volvulus (GDV). Some dogs will eat rapidly or drink an excessive amount of water followed by running around (not always) and their stomach actually twists on its own axis cutting off blood supply to the stomach itself. Some dogs can still vomit or retch, most are bloated, very tight behind the ribs. It is always sudden and toxins build up in their blood stream leading to organ failure and death. The difficult breathing is often a combination of the bloat and the endotoxemia. This condition is only corrected surgically and even then with much time in ICU correcting electrolyte disturbances and cardiac complications. Just know that had you rushed him to the vet there is a small chance he could've survived but GDV's have many complications and are very expensive (thousands) to treat.

[elegantlion]

....my heart goes out to you and your family.

[lollie010]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am a vet and I have seen what you are describing many times. Given the vomiting and difficult breathing resulting in sudden death it really boils down to one of two things in an adult dog.

A toxin (poison) or more likely gastrodilation and volvulus (GDV). Some dogs will eat rapidly or drink an excessive amount of water followed by running around (not always) and their stomach actually twists on its own axis cutting off blood supply to the stomach itself. Some dogs can still vomit or retch, most are bloated, very tight behind the ribs. It is always sudden and toxins build up in their blood stream leading to organ failure and death. The difficult breathing is often a combination of the bloat and the endotoxemia. This condition is only corrected surgically and even then with much time in ICU correcting electrolyte disturbances and cardiac complications. Just know that had you rushed him to the vet there is a small chance he could've survived but GDV's have many complications and are very expensive (thousands) to treat.

 

 

Thank you so much for this information. We have been stressing ourselves so much trying to figure out how this happened. He was so healthy one minute and had even had a recent exam and everything was fine. We did not know what to do and really thought he would perk up. We tried a few emergency vets but noone returned our calls and we just didn't know what to do. It all happened within about 7 hours. We cannot imagine that he got into any poisons. He has a specific area in our home that is dog proofed. We walk him on a leash, so we know what he comes in contact with. I had not heard of GDV, but that sounds like exactly what happened. He had actually eaten more than normal the day before. And the night that he passed, I told my husband that his stomach looked really tight. It really does help to have a reason for this. Thank you so much for taking the time to post.

 

Thank you all for your support. We really feel like we've lost a member of our family, but we are going to talk about starting to do a little volunteer work at an animal shelter until we are ready to bring another dog into our family. I think it might help (DH especially) to heal. I never knew we could be so sappy about a dog. (LOL)

 

Laurel T.

[Doran]

I, too, am glad to read of a probable cause for his death. I actually know about this, though I did not know the proper name for it, and did not realize that it could happen in smaller dogs. I thought it was only typical in large breeds. Close friends of ours lost a pure bred lab this summer, completely out of the blue. One minute he was swimming, the next, he was struggling. Much the same way that you describe the decline in your pup. They were heartbroken, although they knew from a vet examination what the cause had been. Sadly, there is no way to predict this, or really to prevent it either.

 

Again, I'm sorry! Sending you peace.

 

Doran

[Donna T.]

Laurel, I am heartbroken. We have all lost a member of our family. All of us are sad and we will miss Rudy so much. I feel stunned. I was so happy that we had just gotten a new friend for Rudy. I just can't believe the timing on this. I think the animal shelter idea is really great. I am especially praying for your awesome DH - he is so compassionate towards animals. I have always thought he should be doing some work at a shelter.

 

I love you guys so much! You should post a picture of Rudy. That would be nice. He was a beautiful and sweet dog.

 

Praying for you all,

your sister.

[sdWTMer]

I'm sorry for your loss. I vote on the truth. By the way, there is a book called "Rescuing Sprite" by Mark Levin. He also has a website that has a dog corner.

 

Many thoughts your way!