s/o Anyone glad they didn't quit by high school?

[elegantlion]

I sort of regret allowing him to DE at the tech school his senior year. But, he needed something outside the house. He would probably be in engineering if he had not. He is probably my smartest kid and isn't attending college. He absolutely fell in love with welding. Part of me wonders if he will work several years and go back to school. I guess mostly I am just nursing a little wounded pride because...well...you are supposed to go to college. A little of me feels a slight failure because he is not. 

 

:grouphug: I think you should be proud of yourself and of him. You set a good example of letting your kids explore who they are and have confidence in who they are. You're a great mom and you've given him the freedom to own his choices. 

[Chris in VA]

I started homeschooling with high school--ds only did 9-12th at home.

(I also had dd, who went to school in 3rd grade and then again in 5th-high school.)

 

Ours was a unique situation--a tough family situation and a student with undiagnosed ASD. I am honestly not sure ds would have gotten into college had we not homeschooled. School was just overwhelming. As it is, he took a little bit longer to finish college, but did, with a solid GPA and a solid knowledge base that has helped him get a good job in his field.

 

I wish we'd outsourced more, and I wish I'd been more available during his high school years, but he did learn to do work independently, and also how to self-schedule. Other skills, such as discussion skills and writing, came more in the courses he took at college.

 

I see dd and know I should have kept her home more, maybe not for high school, but definitely for middle school. She was introduced to really yucky social stuff way, way too early, thanks to our "oh it's so wonderful!" public school... But she also had opportunities that I did not have the energy or determination to seek out in the homeschooling world. She is better for them.

 

Alice, I remember very fondly those walks in Huntley Meadows, and your neat boys--hang in there. You are giving such a gift by homeschooling.

Truly wish I could have some of those days back!

[Nan in Mass]

Yes. Quit at high school with the oldest and deeply regret it. Didn,t with the younger two. Much better teen years, more interesting, better relationship.

 

Nan

[marbel]

<snip>

 

 

I sort of regret allowing him to DE at the tech school his senior year. But, he needed something outside the house. He would probably be in engineering if he had not. He is probably my smartest kid and isn't attending college. He absolutely fell in love with welding. Part of me wonders if he will work several years and go back to school. I guess mostly I am just nursing a little wounded pride because...well...you are supposed to go to college. A little of me feels a slight failure because he is not. Then again, he may come out the most financially well off from his choice. He has a huge nest egg of college money in the bank which we will keep until we are certain he isn't going to want to attend college one day. It will just continue to grow until then. It will buy him a nice house or could start up a business of his own one day. It is a little hard to let my dreams for him die as he pursues his own dreams. But, that is what HIS life is supposed to be--him chasing his own dreams.

 

And on the other hand... :-)  I sort of regret that I didn't fight with our tech school to let my homeschooler in. He's taking welding now via an adult continuing ed class at night and doing well but the tech school's high school program is much  more comprehensive.  We had always pegged him for engineering but some things got in the way of that.   He loves the welding class!  While I'd still prefer he go to college, if he is good and enjoys it, well... 

[Lady Marmalade]

Ds...I sort of regret allowing him to DE at the tech school his senior year. But, he needed something outside the house. He would probably be in engineering if he had not. He is probably my smartest kid and isn't attending college. He absolutely fell in love with welding. Part of me wonders if he will work several years and go back to school. I guess mostly I am just nursing a little wounded pride because...well...you are supposed to go to college. A little of me feels a slight failure because he is not. Then again, he may come out the most financially well off from his choice. He has a huge nest egg of college money in the bank which we will keep until we are certain he isn't going to want to attend college one day. It will just continue to grow until then. It will buy him a nice house or could start up a business of his own one day. It is a little hard to let my dreams for him die as he pursues his own dreams. But, that is what HIS life is supposed to be--him chasing his own dreams.

 

Oh my gosh, Lolly, you've probably done him a HUGE service letting him follow his passion!  There is fabulous money to be earned in the trades!  Welders are in very high demand around us and make a great living wage. 

[Matryoshka]

I haven't read any of the responses. I allowed all three of mine to choose brick and mortar high school.  For the first (who had only started home schooling in seventh grade) it lasted a year and he chose to come home.  Teaching him in 7th and 8th was a bear.  But he has already told me, before finishing college, that he wants to home school his own kids.  Second child-it was a big mistake for him to go to high school.  I didn't even realize it when he was starting.  But now that he is done, we are trying to figure out next steps as he is not ready for college but wants to go...probably he will start in the fall.  

 

Youngest just started high school.  Knock wood, it seems to be going very well. He is happy and doing well.  So he may be the only child who has a good, and useful, high school experience.  

 

I think allowing the choice was not a mistake for us...but I wish I had known better how to help my middle child.  

 

I allowed all three of mine to choose what they wanted to do for high school, too.  My older two (twins) hs'd through middle school, and had never been to public school.  Middle school went okay, but there was an increasing amount of head-butting.  They both decided to try public high school.  One lasted all the way through, and is graduating this spring.  The other lasted two years and came home, and has mostly done a mix of CC and online classes.  She's also graduating this spring.

 

Youngest tried ps in 6th when her older sisters went off to high school.  She lasted most of the year, came home for 7th, and then halfway through 8th decided she wanted to go back.  She, ironically, lasted the least amount of time in high school proper - she's back home, also taking a mix of CC and online.  The only thing that's at home is history lite (not her favorite subject) and vocab/grammar, the latter of which is mostly review and takes about 10 min 2-3x a week.

 

The older one who came home I think has had a really good experience.  It took us a while to find our groove - it seems, at least for my kids, that the secret is to not be their teacher anymore, but their facilitator and guidance counselor, and it does turn out for both of them, it seems the CC has worked better on the whole than online classes (although we do maintain a mix).  The younger one has only been home again since Dec, and has only started the CC courses a couple of weeks ago, but knock wood, it seems to be going really well.  I wish I could say they came home eager to have deep discussions with me, or motivated to self-design amazing courses, but alas.  But they've loved the freedom to pick their own courses, not having to get up before dawn and spend all day shuffling around in a cramped building with no breaks, and they've done really well with more downtime and not so much intense pressure (our ps is a high performance pressure-cooker) - and they'll have tons of credits to transfer, and a really interesting list of classes.

 

The one who's stuck it out I think sometimes if she should have jumped ship (she strongly considered it also after sophomore year), but overall it's gone well.  Just wish the Chem and Physics teachers at the high school hadn't been such duds (and this in honors and AP sections...)

 

ETA: Meant to say also, that I think the biggest thing is that they do have to be on board.  I think mine went to high school because they wanted outside teachers and classes, but then it turned out that ps was too restrictive and suffocating - I think they were too used to having a flexible schedule and more input into what they wanted to study.  So what ended up working was me finding them other outside teachers and classes.  It has made me a bit sad to be a tad shunted aside, but it's really worked for them, and that's the bottom line.  It's not about me, in the end :)

Edited February 7, 2016 by Matryoshka

[Nan in Mass]

... And one of the best things about the high school years (and beyond) is that the kids were old enough help me find those solutions. ...

This. Most of our problems were solved by my telling the child what the REAL problem was, and then the child coming up with an acceptable solution. It meant that homeschooling high school felt like a long series of negotiations and changes but in the end, doing it this way meant that my children's educations were their own, and they learned the things that they had chosen to learn. After graduation, each of them commented that that was the biggest difference between their educations and their friends' public school educations.

 

Nan

[Lori D.]

We homeschooled both DSs starting in grades 1 and 2, through high school graduation.

 

In many ways, high school was the very BEST part of our homeschooling:

- we did a lot of the work together so it was a very shared experience

- we had terrific discussions on all kinds of topics

- we were past so many of the struggles with LDs, so it was finally able to BE more fun

- it allowed us to tailor-make a few classes around DSs' interests

- it allowed DSs the ability to get involved in some extracurriculars they would not have had time for otherwise

- DSs made some great friends in middle/high school with the big homeschooling group

- homeschooling in high school enabled us to take 2 "memory-making" extended trips during the school year

 

Why I think homeschooling high school was so successful for us:

- DSs were "on board" with homeschooling -- or at least, neither had a desire to go to a traditional school. ;)

- DSs had regular time/activities with friends. It also helped that most of their friends/peers were also homeschoolers.

- DSs had access to lots of outside-the-home activities and responsibilities.

- DSs were finally mature enough that we could sit down and talk through issues that cropped up.

- We had access to outsourcing options for subjects, as needed. 

 

 

Mine were close in age (20 months apart/1 grade apart), so we were able to do a lot of things all together, even in high school. I DO think it would have been harder if there had been more children spread over all the stages. I also think that if there had been different personalities in the mix, that would have changed our experience a lot as well.

 

I really was SO glad I didn't quit back after the first 4 years, which were SOOOO rough due to a combination of trying to figure out and deal with LDs, plus each DS was very difficult in personality in extreme opposite directions. I was so ready to throw in the towel. But that was the year the one esp. difficult child turned a corner, and it just got better and better after that. Yes, issues. Yes the high school administration stuff was hard for me. Yes the college prep and college search is extremely stressful. But we all came out the other end with a close family relationship that I know we would not have had otherwise.

 

Just what worked here! For many families, having children in school is the very thing that allows them to have a close and loving family relationship with a specific child. Wishing the BEST for all, whatever path you take through high school! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Alice]

 

 

Alice, I remember very fondly those walks in Huntley Meadows, and your neat boys--hang in there. You are giving such a gift by homeschooling.

Truly wish I could have some of those days back!

 

Aw, thanks, Chris. I was just at Huntley Meadows this past week. We still go a fair amount and I often think of you while we are there. I really appreciated you and the other Moms who were so encouraging back then when we were just starting out. :)