................... Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 We also decided for my dd to quit with her current teacher and take a break from piano... This teacher just kept mounting the pressure. I posted here a couple of times about her moving my dd out of method books into Classical repertoire after only level 1. My dd only learns well with over-learning, repetition and review. I explained this to the teacher many times. I explained that my dd has mild dyslexia and even though she seems very smart (she is!) she does not learn well when things are scattered, and random. We tried and tried to communicate. There were a lot of things to like about this teacher and my dd was with her for 6 months. But the last 3 have just gone further and further awry. My dd would practice 45 minutes per day and be hollered at every single week. At least in previous weeks the teacher tried to end on a good note, and find something to praise.... This last lesson she actually, in front of another student, hollered at my dd, belittled her, and even told her she was "playing games" with her and pretending she could not play the piece. Yet, she had spent half the lesson answering texts and even got up to answer the phone twice, leaving my already struggling dd plunking out notes alone, then coming back to tell her it was wrong. I feel this is just a frustration. My dd does not really want to quit, but she would like to take a break for a few months while we figure out what to do. But I feel pretty hopeless. It seems like all the teachers around here want a heavy commitment and talented students who work more than an hour per day and learn fast with no struggles. :confused1: What about just loving to teach children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 What a bummer. You would think there would have to be some more "relaxed" teachers out there who are still capable of teaching well. We found my DD's current guitar teacher with word of mouth networking after her previous teacher left town for a leave of absence (and we weren't sure the chemistry was quite right for us anyway). Our current teacher just teaches a handful of students in her home and doesn't advertise or anything but she is well qualified and a good teacher. But she isn't a teacher I would have found by googling or calling studios. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Sorry your Dd has had such a difficult experience. I hope you can find a better teacher for her! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 This teacher just kept mounting the pressure. [snip] My dd would practice 45 minutes per day and be hollered at every single week. [snip] This last lesson she actually, in front of another student, hollered at my dd, belittled her, and even told her she was "playing games" with her and pretending she could not play the piece. Yet, she had spent half the lesson answering texts and even got up to answer the phone twice, leaving my already struggling dd plunking out notes alone, then coming back to tell her it was wrong. Why would anyone pay for this? :confused1: IMO, no lessons would be preferable to this. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 nm :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 :crying: Yet, she had spent half the lesson answering texts and even got up to answer the phone twice, leaving my already struggling dd plunking out notes alone, then coming back to tell her it was wrong. :grouphug: I hope you are able to find a teacher who will listen, spend time WITH your dd, and work with both of you. No one should have to put up with being yelled at for putting forth their best effort. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I think you might want to look for a piano teacher via word of mouth. You might have more success with a piano teacher who is a SAHM who studied piano in college or a church pianist who teaches on the side. (If you are in the San Jose area, I know of someone. She helped my brother enjoy piano again after his piano teacher became very critical and angry due to an undiagnosed brain tumor.) Such teachers might not network in the normal ways. Hope you can find someone who sees eye to eye with you. :-( Emily 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 We are in (edited for privacy) and I know a wonderfully patient teacher too. She will go only as fast as the student and parent want her to go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 It was weird. We met her at one of the local Big-Name piano schools. They assign you a teacher and then you can switch teachers once or twice until you find the one you like. She liked my dd right away and my dd liked her. My dd had studied with an elderly lady for 6 months using John Thompson and had made Ok progress. This teacher at the Music School kept my dd in John Thompson and progressed her along, also fiixng all the bad habits with fingering she had learned with the elderly lady. I liked her a lot, and I felt the workload was reasonable and we communicated and I ensured my dd practiced 35 minutes per day. Then, the teacher invited dd to her private studio, saying that my dd was talented and that she liked her and wanted her as a private student at her own studio. I thought, OK great...she just wants more flexible hours and a closer working relationship without the middle man in between. I didn't care where we had lessons. After two weeks at this lady's house, it just all started to go downhill. That's when she moved my dd into Classical repertoire, plus 3 different theory, technic, sight reading, and also the Hanon. My dd began to get really confused, and several times, we said she was not ready after only having finished a Level One book, and 3 times the teacher said the method books were piddling wastes of time, and to learn Classical music was the goal for her private students. and on and on it went. More pressure, saying my dd should practice one hour per day, more and more "toughness" and harsh words during the lessons, more and more blaming my dd for being, "unfocused" and "not caring about piano" and saying, "if you don't care, I don't want you as my student." Seemed to me that she THOUGHT my dd was going to be a super star student and was sorely disappointed when she realized she was not as super star as she had thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Is the teacher competition oriented? My kids teacher was asking a child if he wants to take part in a competition as she need to do the paperwork if he wants to before the submission deadline. She doesn't mind if he is not interested in any of the competition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 Good question...I don't think so...I don't know what her deal is. We had 3 months of happy teacher and 3 months of harsh teacher. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Texting others during class is unprofessional (I changed teachers because of this). Hollering is never acceptable - why would you pay someone to treat your child poorly? There are 2 categories of teachers in my area - "performance" oriented and "competition" oriented. The competition oriented ones aggressively push kids. The performance oriented teacher that I found for my son teaches musicality (how to express emotions through playing as well as to captivate listener), spent months on fixing wrong techniques, teaches theory, plays duets with my son etc. A big difference from the easy going (not putting too much effort into teaching) and texting teacher from before. I encourage you to look up the list of professional piano teachers affiliated to your local branch of MTAC (they list them on their website) and call a few of them and ask if they accept students who do not wish to rapidly accelerate. Also tell them about your DD's strengths and weaknesses. Is it possible that this teacher was on best behavior in the music school and showed her true personality in her home studio? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I feel your pain! We spent all of last year with a piano teacher that was unprofessional, rude and absolutely destroyed my DD's love of piano. Now we have put in a years worth of lessons and a bunch of $$ and neither of my girls even wants to look at the piano. :( She came highly recommended by several local ladies and I feel like we got the Hyde to their Jekyll. She was so pleasant when she spoke to me on the phone and our first meeting went well, as did the first two lessons. Then she started coming late, comparing the kids, asking one if the other had practiced, pointing out each of the kids "flaws" and explaining why she felt one was doing better - which changed from week to week. She also told me - after the very first lesson - how absolutely skilled and amazing both kids were and how they were likely to need "advanced" lessons very soon. Which really meant boosting them from 30 mins to 45 mins and more $$ for her. So glad to be rid of her, to be honest, but not sure where to go from here or how to encourage my kids to love piano again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 "If you don't care, I don't want you as my student." And to that I would say, "If you don't care about my student, we don't want you as our teacher." End of story. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I am so sorry. I don't understand why a piano teacher will do that. It can only lead to student burn out and quitting and yet I do know plenty who do it. A truly good teacher will want to foster a love for piano while progressing at a pace that is right for the student's ability and interest. I count my blessings every week that we have found such a teacher. They are there, finding them is the hard part. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I am so sorry. That sounds awful. We aren't making progress like you but DD does love piano... And her teacher is kind and respectful to all. I hope you find someone like we've found. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 And to that I would say, "If you don't care about my student, we don't want you as our teacher." End of story. Actually, I think she did care. I just think she herself had been raised with these strong, harsh teaching tactics and I think that she also had many students who did NOT want to play piano and were only there because of their parents. She made that clear, from the beginning. It was the first thing she asked my daughter on her first lesson. "Do YOU Want to play piano, or does your mom?" and she took my dd's word for it.....What she was trying to get across was that in her (warped no doubt) mind, a student who "cared" would practice an hour per day, stay focused during intense 45 minute lessons, and consistently learn well (apparently even when pushed along too quickly.) Where she goes wrong, is that "care" doesn't mean the intensity or even the talent that she seems to think that all students who "care" should possess. AND that she was too free and harsh in giving her statements to the pain and hurt of a 12 year old child who aimed to please and certainly did "care" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I feel your pain! We spent all of last year with a piano teacher that was unprofessional, rude and absolutely destroyed my DD's love of piano. Now we have put in a years worth of lessons and a bunch of $$ and neither of my girls even wants to look at the piano. :( She came highly recommended by several local ladies and I feel like we got the Hyde to their Jekyll. She was so pleasant when she spoke to me on the phone and our first meeting went well, as did the first two lessons. Then she started coming late, comparing the kids, asking one if the other had practiced, pointing out each of the kids "flaws" and explaining why she felt one was doing better - which changed from week to week. She also told me - after the very first lesson - how absolutely skilled and amazing both kids were and how they were likely to need "advanced" lessons very soon. Which really meant boosting them from 30 mins to 45 mins and more $$ for her. So glad to be rid of her, to be honest, but not sure where to go from here or how to encourage my kids to love piano again. Yeah, it really stinks. It really stinks to get burned this way as a child. On the other hand, it's a learning experience. I had a swim coach that had these kinds of obsessive harsh tactics combined with manipulation and unreasonable expectations as well as just plain favoritism. But, I survived and that's what I can take with me. However, I do know to avoid these types of people and I knew how to look for them in coaches but I realize now that ... A LIGHT BULB MOMENT! We need to pick a piano teacher like a coach... Anyway, my dd is going to take a "break" for a while and hopefully she will let me know if or when she is ready to go back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Calming Tea -- Since you initially had a good experience with finding a teacher at the Big Name Music School, could you go back there and ask to be matched to another teacher? You might even consider mentioning to the school director what happened when you "went private" with that particular teacher. I don't know how that works, but it might help you to get a better match next time. HTH. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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