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Anyone interested in forming a social group for support and info sharing re: Alzheimers, other dementia,other aspects of elder care?

Laurie4b

By Laurie4b,
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StephanieZ

StephanieZ

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(((Hugs))) to all. That stage of my life is past, as Mom died in June, but I just wanted to send (((hugs))) to those still in the trenches. It is a brutal, terrible, journey, but it can be beautiful, too. If it is any consolation, I wanted to share that when I was at the early stages years ago, so many people tried to terrify me out of moving Mom in with us, out of truly committing to her . . . insisting that she'd be violent, hateful, and that caring for her would ruin my marriage and make my kids hate me. (Those are quotes!)

 

I want to say that despite Mom's dementia and ALZ, she never was hateful or violent AT ALL. To her dying day, she maintained the grace and kindness that had been her character always. It was hard, and we all struggled and suffered, but choosing LOVE is always the right choice. We turned our lives and our home upside down to make every effort to maximize Mom's wellbeing, and It worked. It was OK. It is possible to care for and love your own children and spouse while ALSO being a primary caregiver for your aging parent. It IS POSSIBLE. Not guaranteed, not always right, not easy, but possible, for some families, for some people. I don't regret a moment I spent caring for Mom. My kids don't hate me. My spouse didn't leave me. In fact, he made me love him even more because I got to witness his incredible humanity and generosity of loving Mom through that disease. It was hard, but it didn't hurt us. It made us better and stronger. 

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Laurie4b

Laurie4b

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Sitting in the hospital with my mom right now. She is 87, and has Alzheimer's, cancer, diabetes, and right now is being treated because she got severely dehydrated and it affected her kidneys. Looks like we are on the mend from this though.

 

Wow. That's a lot to handle.  :grouphug: I hope you've got support. 

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MrsBasil

MrsBasil

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We are preparing to move in a duplex style home with my family living upstairs and my parents living down. My father has early onset and is 57. We think this will help so my mom is not dealing with all care taking as they age and will lower both families financial burdens significantly. Also, my dad has better days when he is around my kids, my dog, has multiple people to talk to, and gets out of the house regularly to hike, go to museums, parks etc.. My mom is an introvert who hates the outdoors, museums, and is...overwhelmed at the changes in her life.

 

We are hoping this will prove to be a good thing and that my kids don't end up hating me. I've heard that one as well.

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Mom25girls

Mom25girls

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Sitting in the hospital with my mom right now. She is 87, and has Alzheimer's, cancer, diabetes, and right now is being treated because she got severely dehydrated and it affected her kidneys. Looks like we are on the mend from this though.

 

I'm hoping that you have support.  :grouphug:  I'm sorry We're  just at the beginning of this journey but I can see the path and it's really scary to me.

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