Questions, s/o Natural abilities.....

[desertflower]

Hello!

 

So, I decided to start a new thread so I don't derail the other one.  I have so many questions to ask.  Quark?  Arcadia?  Are you out there?  Quark, I've decided to overthink this.  :)  To anyone else out there, please feel free to chime in. 

 

Please bear with me as I gather my thoughts.  Also, it's that time of the month for me so I may be worrying too much.  :) 

 

I realize that school should only take 1 - 2 hours for my son who is 6 1/2, but there are days when we don't do any schooling (well at least not much).  Since he's ahead I don't push.  I don't know if he's gifted, but I do know that he's smart. 

 

I guess one of my concerns is that since the "school year" is coming up that I should be doing 1 - 2 hours of schooling mon - thursday.  What if I don't?  I see threads where some kids do math everyday and sometimes twice a day.  I'm lucky if I do SM twice a week.  Say I do schooling a total of twice a week?  I don't want to be presumptuous and think "oh he's ahead.  I don't have to do anything right now."  I do have IP and CWP a year behind and that doesn't take long either.  We did 2 problems in the CWP book and since he understood it I ended the lesson.  I think this is scary for me.  I am a box checker.  I like to make sure that he understands every problem and want him to do all the problems.  At the same time I know he'll be bored and frustrated if I had him do all the problems.  So, generally it's just 5 problems from the SM lesson and that's it.  we move on.  I'm just not comfortable with that.  Is this how it is with you guys? 

 

So, I guess since "1st grade" is coming up, I need to add in more school time?  Slowly add in more time each year, so we don't go from 2 hr/week to 12 - 15 hr/week?

 

Also, do you guys have a routine?  I see threads where people have circle time every morning.  During their circle time, I'm most likely getting my cup of coffee and the kids are either playing or watching tv.  Is circle time necessary?  I may be feeling guilty of not having one.  I know every family is different, but I am trying to cultivate a love for learning.

 

Also, I don't understand something.  Someone mentioned that there were tears and frustration when their child was learning how to play an instrument (I'm going to assume this child was not 6.).  So this is okay to do, but not with phonics lessons?  I've read where people say if your child is in tears to lay back or switch programs.  In fact I was probably one of these people who said to scale it down.  lol  I don't want my child in tears.  Perhaps it's okay when the child is older?  To learn perseverance? 

 

I've decided to forge ahead with phonics lessons.  I think it's too valuable of a lesson to put in the back burner.  I'll tell him this too.  I was getting some push back before and that's why I just let it slide.  I want to make this fun right?  Anyhow, before he would run around after saying each word.  But now that he's reading readers, I guess I'll just have him run around after every sentence.  lol 

 

My dh wants me to push more on his phonics lessons.  He wants him reading like now.  I told him to wait.  That he has the skills to do it now, it's just a matter of him wanting to pick up a book and read it.  My dh thinks he has a mental block that he can't do it.  (This may have something to do with when he was 5 I might have shown some frustration during the phonics lessons or I fell asleep.  lol This was before I realize he was a kinesthetic learner and it got better once I had him doing jumping jacks, etc. during the lesson.)  I was also thinking that since he's very competitive he'll start reading once my dd starts to read.  He never wants to be outdone by her.  For example, about a month ago, she wanted a phonics lessons.  She sat there for about 30 mins reading.  Immediately after that my ds wanted a phonics lessons too.  lol  And of course he did just fine.  So given that information, I really think he's just going to pick it up once my dd starts to read, but my dh doesn't want to wait. 

 

I do like the kids playing together most of the day.  I think that playing together is essential for character development and hopefully a bond.  So I do limit his wii and computer time. 

 

There were so many good points in the other thread that it had me thinking.  At this point in time, I need some sleep.  :) 

 

Thanks for reading and for any insights.  Looking forward to reading what you guys have to say. 

 

[8filltheheart]

While I am very low key with my primary age kids, we still develop a routine and there are daily expectations. The goal is to keep it positive, not that they don't have to work. I use Sing, Spell, Read, Write for teaching reading. They get to sing songs, play Go Fish, memory, bingo, etc as ways of learning their phonics songs and rules. We spend around 20 mins a day on math. Math can also be completed playing war(flip up 2cards and either add, subtract, or multiply), dominoes, etc. I read aloud while they sit quietly and play (building Legos, coloring, etc). It doesn't have to take much time, but it is the training ground for the future and a time for building respect for me as teacher and themselves as student and for learning in general.

[EKS]

I think it is very important to have a routine that includes doing something for school 4-5 days per week.  There is a huge difference between adding an hour per day each year and actually adding days.  A lot of our success with homeschooling here when my kids were little was tied to my making school the number one priority and not ever backing down.  So, for example, when my younger one was approaching age 5 (the "magic" age where I decided lessons would be mandatory), I frequently reminded him that at that point we would be working together each day.  Another thing I did was to never have my children decided when a lesson was finished.  What that meant was even if I could see we needed to stop math for the day (or whatever), and they were complaining about it and begging to stop, I would have them do one more problem (usually chosen to be easy), and then we would stop.

 

I've see a lot of posts on the board over the years about parents who have had to impose a more rigorous schedule after years of coasting and it sounds like it is very difficult.  I'm convinced that it is better to have the expectation of school every day starting in the beginning so that when they get older, (and more able to argue!) there is no question about whether or not school is going to happen.

 

At your son's age, we were probably doing 1-2 hours of work per day, divided into table work (for 1 hour at most) which consisted of math, handwriting, spelling, and anything else where he or I had to write and what we've come to call "couch work," which was mostly me reading aloud from history, science, and literature books.  We also did MCT grammar on the couch and my kids read aloud to me there too.   They both loved the couch time, and we continue to have it even when they're in high school.  

 

I think it is ok to push a bit on things like phonics.  I did with both kids (one has dyslexia, so I had to there).  It's better not to make them cry, but sometimes that is unavoidable and it can happen even when you aren't pushing.  Actually, now that I think of it, it *usually* happened when I was "pushing" the kid to do something that he absolutely could do but either didn't think he could do or didn't want to do.  But I should say, that if you get tears every day over something, it's time to really think about what's going on and make changes accordingly (and sometimes what's going on is that the kid needs an attitude adjustment--it's not always a problem with the program or the teacher's behavior).

 

Sorry this rambles.  I hope something in here helps.

[desertflower]

While I am very low key with my primary age kids, we still develop a routine and there are daily expectations. The goal is to keep it positive, not that they don't have to work. I use Sing, Spell, Read, Write for teaching reading. They get to sing songs, play Go Fish, memory, bingo, etc as ways of learning their phonics songs and rules. We spend around 20 mins a day on math. Math can also be completed playing war(flip up 2cards and either add, subtract, or multiply), dominoes, etc. I read aloud while they sit quietly and play (building Legos, coloring, etc). It doesn't have to take much time, but it is the training ground for the future and a time for building respect for me as teacher and themselves as student and for learning in general.

 

Thank you 8FillTheHeart.  I do most of this. You did this when they were 9 yo too?  I'm not sure I know what primary age means.  5 - 9?  I guess I'm asking because it seems that the work load for a 9 yo is pretty heavy.

 

I have noticed nowadays that they are playing with each other when they play with legos.  So I feel like I'm intruding on their play time.  I used to do FLL and the poem memorization when he played with legos, but now it seems that they are building characters and acting them out. 

 

Also, during the elementary age, there's a lot of memory work.  Did you do this too?  My dh detest flash cards.

[desertflower]

I think it is very important to have a routine that includes doing something for school 4-5 days per week.  There is a huge difference between adding an hour per day each year and actually adding days.  A lot of our success with homeschooling here when my kids were little was tied to my making school the number one priority and not ever backing down.  So, for example, when my younger one was approaching age 5 (the "magic" age where I decided lessons would be mandatory), I frequently reminded him that at that point we would be working together each day.  Another thing I did was to never have my children decided when a lesson was finished.  What that meant was even if I could see we needed to stop math for the day (or whatever), and they were complaining about it and begging to stop, I would have them do one more problem (usually chosen to be easy), and then we would stop.

 

I've see a lot of posts on the board over the years about parents who have had to impose a more rigorous schedule after years of coasting and it sounds like it is very difficult.  I'm convinced that it is better to have the expectation of school every day starting in the beginning so that when they get older, (and more able to argue!) there is no question about whether or not school is going to happen.

 

At your son's age, we were probably doing 1-2 hours of work per day, divided into table work (for 1 hour at most) which consisted of math, handwriting, spelling, and anything else where he or I had to write and what we've come to call "couch work," which was mostly me reading aloud from history, science, and literature books.  We also did MCT grammar on the couch and my kids read aloud to me there too.   They both loved the couch time, and we continue to have it even when they're in high school.  

 

I think it is ok to push a bit on things like phonics.  I did with both kids (one has dyslexia, so I had to there).  It's better not to make them cry, but sometimes that is unavoidable and it can happen even when you aren't pushing.  Actually, now that I think of it, it *usually* happened when I was "pushing" the kid to do something that he absolutely could do but either didn't think he could do or didn't want to do.  But I should say, that if you get tears every day over something, it's time to really think about what's going on and make changes accordingly (and sometimes what's going on is that the kid needs an attitude adjustment--it's not always a problem with the program or the teacher's behavior).

 

Sorry this rambles.  I hope something in here helps.

 

Thank you EKS for sharing your story.  It does make sense and makes me feel better for pushing phonics on him when he was 5. 

 

As for the routine, I see where you are getting at.  I guess it's why we school year round.  I want them to know that learning is everyday even as an adult. 

 

When did you start MCT grammar?  It seems that some posters start around "3rd grade".  FLL II seems a bit easy for him and he's getting bored with the comprehension questions from WWE II.  He likes the narration and dictation which I think I'll incorporate into sotw and drop WWE II. 

 

 

[EKS]

We started MCT when he was in 2nd grade (so age 7.5).  He had done GWG 3 the year before and was great at detecting patterns but didn't really understand the concepts.  MCT changed all that.  My son absolutely loved it.

 

My son couldn't stand WWE but was happy to do narration for SOTW.

 

[desertflower]

We started MCT when he was in 2nd grade (so age 7.5).  He had done GWG 3 the year before and was great at detecting patterns but didn't really understand the concepts.  MCT changed all that.  My son absolutely loved it.

 

My son couldn't stand WWE but was happy to do narration for SOTW.

 

Okay thanks.  I may have to drop WWE before he starts to be unhappy with it. 

 

So I have a few months to save up for MCT grammar.  :)

[Runningmom80]

I don't know, my almost 9 year old is moving into a more academic routine fine.  We were pretty unstructured up until this past year and actually only ever ran into problems when I tried to force a routine onto him.  Doing phonics (or whatever) every day (to the point of tears at times) would not work here, nor would I want it to. 

 

ETA: Not saying the PP's are wrong, just saying what's worked and not worked for us.

[desertflower]

I don't know, my almost 9 year old is moving into a more academic routine fine.  We were pretty unstructured up until this past year and actually only ever ran into problems when I tried to force a routine onto him.  Doing phonics (or whatever) every day (to the point of tears at times) would not work here, nor would I want it to. 

 

ETA: Not saying the PP's are wrong, just saying what's worked and not worked for us.

 

Okay,  Thanks for letting me know.  I guess I'll just have to figure that one out myself.  I myself am not really a routine type of person.  Except for the obvious shower/get dressed every morning.  :) 

 

It's nice to know that it works either way. 

[desertflower]

Btw Runningmom, thanks for answering my question on the other thread.  :) 

[EKS]

I just wanted to clarify what I meant by "pushing" in my post upthread. 

 

When I say I pushed my kids to learn certain things, what I mean by that is that I had them learn things that they did not naturally gravitate toward--meaning that they did not necessarily want to do the work.  I never intentionally forced them to do things they weren't ready for, but I did make sure they were challenged.  There were tears occasionally--and with my younger son, who was a drama king, most of the time the tears were actually about work that was too easy or repetitive and I was "pushing" him to practice whatever it was (mostly math).

 

If there are tears regularly over something, it means there is something wrong.  But I think that you can't provide a good education without a bit of pushing.  

[desertflower]

While I am very low key with my primary age kids, we still develop a routine and there are daily expectations. The goal is to keep it positive, not that they don't have to work. I use Sing, Spell, Read, Write for teaching reading. They get to sing songs, play Go Fish, memory, bingo, etc as ways of learning their phonics songs and rules. We spend around 20 mins a day on math. Math can also be completed playing war(flip up 2cards and either add, subtract, or multiply), dominoes, etc. I read aloud while they sit quietly and play (building Legos, coloring, etc). It doesn't have to take much time, but it is the training ground for the future and a time for building respect for me as teacher and themselves as student and for learning in general.

 

I was actually on board with playing games until I realized that it took up a lot of my time and the girls were feeling left out.  I guess it's the type of games I was getting; for example, no stress chess. 

 

I got RS math games and I have tweaked that to fit everyone's needs.  Perhaps I need SSRW as well?  :)

[Runningmom80]

I just wanted to clarify what I meant by "pushing" in my post upthread. 

 

When I say I pushed my kids to learn certain things, what I mean by that is that I had them learn things that they did not naturally gravitate toward--meaning that they did not necessarily want to do the work.  I never intentionally forced them to do things they weren't ready for, but I did make sure they were challenged.  There were tears occasionally--and with my younger son, who was a drama king, most of the time the tears were actually about work that was too easy or repetitive and I was "pushing" him to practice whatever it was (mostly math).

 

If there are tears regularly over something, it means there is something wrong.  But I think that you can't provide a good education without a bit of pushing.  

 

I definitely agree.  I think there are just varying opinions about when and how much, which makes sense because every kid is different.

 

[desertflower]

I just wanted to clarify what I meant by "pushing" in my post upthread. 

 

When I say I pushed my kids to learn certain things, what I mean by that is that I had them learn things that they did not naturally gravitate toward--meaning that they did not necessarily want to do the work.  I never intentionally forced them to do things they weren't ready for, but I did make sure they were challenged.  There were tears occasionally--and with my younger son, who was a drama king, most of the time the tears were actually about work that was too easy or repetitive and I was "pushing" him to practice whatever it was (mostly math).

 

If there are tears regularly over something, it means there is something wrong.  But I think that you can't provide a good education without a bit of pushing.  

 

I think this is what my dh wants me to do. 

 

[Runningmom80]

There's plenty of research and studies about the negative effects of pushing reading at 5, I would at least look at it and go from there.

[desertflower]

Too late for me now.  lol  Like EKS said, if I didn't believe he could do it I wouldn't have.  But he can and did.

 

luckily for me, my 2nd child loves phonics lessons.

[8filltheheart]

I classify grade levels as follows:

Primary= K-2

Elementary= 3-5

Middle= 6-8

High=9-12

 

3rd grade is typically a shift in their days.  K-2 is mostly learning how to read, basic math, handwriting skills, basic mechanics, simple sentence construction, etc. 

3-5 is shifting to reading to learn, mastering basic paragraph construction, basic multiple paragraph writing, learning to gather information and synthesizing sources, improving sentence construction, etc.  

 

 

 

[sportsmom]

FWIW, we have a pretty set schedule here.  Meaning, we begin at the same time everyday and progress through subjects in the same order.  Generally, our school hours are 9:00 - 12:30.  And we also "double-up" on one class per day, so we are doing 5 days worth of lessons in 4 - we take every Friday off.

 

Previously, I've had penmanship as our first "class" because it's something that DS is able to do on his own and ease into the day.  Then we move onto our core subjects (language followed by math) so we don't rush through them.  Then we move to history (his personal favorite), science, and reading.

 

He's older than your son - we started homeschooling at 3rd grade, so he was 8/9, and the rule has always been that he has to complete his daily assignments before we do anything else, including lunch.  Of course, he had been used to being in a classroom from 9:00 - 4:00, so he still considers it a really short day, and we get so much more done than he ever did in PS.  This works for us, but he is also the kid who just wants his stack of work for the day and wants to knock it out.  Often, he won't even get up for a drink or the restroom.

 

Yes, sometimes there are tears, but as others have stated, it's almost ALWAYS because he's not confident in his ability to do something and was refusing to TRY or he was bored with the practice and wanted to move on to something else.  Usually, when it gets to that point, I say we need to take a break.  I tell him to go up to his room, calm down, and come back when he is ready to try (not playtime, just time/space to breathe and calm down).  He has never taken over 5 minutes before he comes back and sits down and everything goes smoothly again.

 

Now, with all that said....that's what works for DS.  I don't think that will work for my DD, who has ZERO interest in any schoolwork whatsoever.  She won't even match her capital and lowercase letters correctly, even though I have strong reasons to believe that she knows how to read.   But I'm not pushing - she will do it eventually....even if it causes me to go completely gray first.  That's why I'm sending her to PS for Kindergarten this fall.  I think she needs more of the social aspect of school and to see her friends doing the work and then she will.  I might bring her home for 1st, but who knows.  Different kids need different things.

 

[Dmmetler]

We didn't do phonics, since DD was reading on a post high school level, but I established expectations pretty early of X subjects a day-we did some langauge arts/reading, some math, some Latin/Spanish/Greek, some Science/History, etc. At age 5-7, it took maybe 2-3 hours a day, and is increasing as she gets older (last year it was about 6-8 hours a day, but that included a LOT of science (which often involved several hours of hiking of which maybe 30 minutes was actively recording data since much of her science is field based) and a lot of reading/listening to lectures/various in car stuff while driving, so it wasn't exactly 6-8 hours of focused book work in a classroom sense). She was almost 9 before "School" regularly started creeping past lunchtime.

 

For my DD, having a set routine is helpful and required. She is very self-directed and focused within a framework-history taking 2-3 hours at a single setting as we followed rabbit trails wasn't uncommon, math went from 15-20 minutes to 2+ hours within a few years, etc, but if she doesn't have that framework, she doesn't know where to start. For her, building independence has been about teaching her to build that framework for herself, but still following the same basic model we've had for 5-6 years.

 

 

[raptor_dad]

I see threads where some kids do math everyday and sometimes twice a day.  I'm lucky if I do SM twice a week.  Say I do schooling a total of twice a week?  I don't want to be presumptuous and think "oh he's ahead.  I don't have to do anything right now."  I do have IP and CWP a year behind and that doesn't take long either.  We did 2 problems in the CWP book and since he understood it I ended the lesson.  I think this is scary for me.  I am a box checker.  I like to make sure that he understands every problem and want him to do all the problems.  At the same time I know he'll be bored and frustrated if I had him do all the problems.  So, generally it's just 5 problems from the SM lesson and that's it.  we move on.  I'm just not comfortable with that.  Is this how it is with you guys?

 

I know using IP and CWP behind level is close to conventional wisdom on the main boards. I think that is wrong, especially for a smart advanced kid. They are designed to be used on level. No wonder your kid is bored doing "hard" work from the previous year/level. CWP only has ~300 problems a year. Some of those are quick mental math or geometry. If you are not spending much time on the main lessons, you should have plenty of time to do most during a standard 180 day school year.

 

We use other programs for our main math and use CWP either at level to work on showing work, following algorithms, etc and above level for problem solving and perseverance.  I can't imagine it being useful for advanced kids to use it below level.

[Runningmom80]

I missed the question about math. We accelerate SM, so we do CWP and IP on level with the texts. We actually only do text problems and IP at this point, which isn't a lot of problems at all. Sometimes we do CWP, but usually I don't find it necessary. There are word problems in the IP so that's satisfied the challenge there. I understand it's scary to skip. I've been there, got the tee shirt. You can probably search this board and find 100 post from me asking these same questions. What helped me chill out about it was realizing we have the gift of time. He's 6. If you have to layer in something you missed because you realized "oh, maybe he does need a little instruction," you have time. I'm not advocating skipping for accelerations sake, but if he's got the math down and he's ready to move on, don't worry about doing every problem.

 

As far as the reading, obviously you are free to teach how you see fit, that's the beauty of this all. I'm of the school that just because they are capable, doesn't mean the time is right. It was always my number one goal to instill a love of reading in my kids, so I've operated with that in mind. My older DS never had phonics instruction, as he taught himself to read, and my youngers both learned to read at Montessori school, so I only have an rough idea what it entails. (I understand what phonics are, it's just I've never seen any of the books often mentioned here OPGTR, and 100 easy lessons) I'm only speaking to the pushing of reading in general, which I'm not even saying you're doing, just throwing this all out there.

[quark]

deleted

[Arcadia]

I guess one of my concerns is that since the "school year" is coming up that I should be doing 1 - 2 hours of schooling mon - thursday.  What if I don't?  I see threads where some kids do math everyday and sometimes twice a day.  I'm lucky if I do SM twice a week. 

 

So, I guess since "1st grade" is coming up, I need to add in more school time? 

 

Also, do you guys have a routine?

 

There is a lot of learning by just living at that age. I don't think you need to add more school time but I lean more towards child-led.

 

For math,

they take turns buying food for the family at fast foods restaurants with cash. One of my kids would remember what each of us want, tally the amount and calculate the change he is suppose to get back from the cashier.   Add, subtract, multiply, concept of money done without curriculum.  Games like Monopoly, Mastermind was helpful too.

 

For language arts we just read.  Books, road signs, store notices (even things like store liquor license), instructions at the science/tech museums on what to do at the hands on stations.   We often spend time during the weekend at Barnes and Nobles browsing through the new books and magazines there. Kids create and act out their own plays with Legos and Playmobil.

 

I think it depends on what you count as school time.  Language arts and math took much less than an hour in 1st grade for DS9.  My DS10 was in B&M for K and 1st.

Our routine was just breakfast, LA and Math, playtime, lunch, all other subjects like history/science/music/German, playtime, leisure reading, bedtime.

 

SM took my kids 10 minutes a day (weekday) but computation is their forte.  Weekends we did random puzzles for math. Thinks like tangrams, Sudoku, logic puzzles.  Hubby is on board with enrichment instead of speeding through SM.  DS10 did end up finishing SM6 when he was 8.5 years  old and went on to prealgebra. DS9 skip SM6 and did a slower (than his brother) pace through prealgebra.

 

 

 

Also, I don't understand something.  Someone mentioned that there were tears and frustration when their child was learning how to play an instrument (I'm going to assume this child was not 6.).  So this is okay to do, but not with phonics lessons? 

 

DS10 had tears for violin.  DS9 had tears for flute.   Both had cried over math, science, swimming, riding a bike, golf, rock climbing at an indoor gym as well so its not just music.   DS9 used to cry at the drop of a hat, now he complains to himself.  He is just expressing his frustration and after he cry it all out for a few minutes he is good.  DS10 seldom cries.  For him to cry means that something has reach a breaking point. It means in the case of violin (which wasn't his choice, he wanted cello and we asked him to try violin first) that we give up after thinking over and in the case of swimming we stopped for awhile for him to learn to cope with getting his face wet.

 

You have three kids.  They are likely to cry for different reasons and different intensity.  Go with your gut feel when to stay on course, when to take a break and when to give up.

 

I've decided to forge ahead with phonics lessons.  I think it's too valuable of a lesson to put in the back burner.  I'll tell him this too. 

 

My dh wants me to push more on his phonics lessons.  He wants him reading like now. 

 

Phonics helped with spelling for my not as good speller. Comically German phonics helped German spelling a lot more than English phonics help English spelling. 

I think it is important for kids to not feel our stress/annoyance when we are teaching them. I have kids that pick up vibes too well so if I am upset they get worried about why I am upset.

 

My hubby used to panic about DS9 not reading because DS10 read very early while DS9 won't read for hubby.  When DS9 was tested by his public charter teacher at 5 years old, the "joker" read very well because I told him that if he flop the reading test he gets remedial sessions (which is true) with his teacher. Now hubby can look back and laugh about his panic over DS9's reading progress.

 

There is too much hype in the media about boys not being good readers which may be why your husband wants him reading now.  My kids does not like the phonics readers, they skip those.   Instead their first "readings" was actually all the signs in stores and food labels on snacks. They picked up phonics from Leapfrog so I didn't have to teach them.  I think your son just doesn't see an urgency to read until your daughter is on par.

 

ETA;

If you haven't discuss educational goals with your husband, it would be good to do so.  We started the discussion as friends when we were undergrads and needed a break from studying.  Both of us wanted a play based kind of learning for our kids. My oldest when he was younger hates change or transitions and wants a timetable so he ended up creating his daily schedule.  For example, when he was younger, he expects his lunch at 11:30am and dinner at 5pm so he mentally shutdown before meal times and gets moody if food is not ready.  However he is okay with eating a small bowl of cereal or a slice of bread while I finish cooking. He would ask for food every four hours from newborn to about 4 years old, more accurate than looking at my watch.

My youngest could play Legos all day. He likes a checklist because he likes the visual aspect of it.  He doesn't like to remember what he is suppose to do, he rather have a checklist to look at and check off.   He requires more hand holding in organizational skills than my older boy did at the same age.   Different kids different accommodations.

 

I love Legos and so do my boys.  Below link would have been our dream house.

 

"What does it look like to own 250,000 Lego bricks? Take a tour of a US architect's basement complete with custom-built shelves and IKEA bins to hold and display his massive Lego collection."

http://www.cnet.com/news/this-guy-has-the-most-insane-lego-collection-in-his-basement/

 

Edited July 10, 2015 by Arcadia

[quark]

deleted for privacy

[SeaConquest]

Not sure it this is helpful, but mine is also going into first grade this year. Last year, we schooled 3 days per week. He also took 3 days of fun classes at his charter school -- stuff like art, music, Lego, etc. All of his "core" classes were with me. It went really well -- much better than I expected, actually.

 

This year, we will be schooling 4 days per week. Our charter school is moving to a smaller facility, and will only have classes for his age 1 day/week. We will see how it works out.

 

My son really prefers routine. He likes to know what is expected, and adjusts accordingly. If we were all over the place with our day, I am sure that we would have more struggles.

 

We always do math first. Some days, if the math is light, we add in logic.

 

After math, we snuggle in bed, and I read aloud to him. Then, he reads aloud to me.

 

After reading, we move back to the table and he does his writing and foreign language for the day. 

 

Then, we switch gears, move back to the couch, and do either science (usually reading books and/or watching documentaries) or history (audiobooks).

 

So, seat time is really just for math, writing, and foreign language. The rest of "school," we do from the couch or snuggled in bed. We start school whenever we wake up, and we are done by lunch. The rest of his day is his. We accomplished quite a bit last year with very minimal drama. I've thought about being more unschooly in our approach, but I honestly think that there'd be more head-butting if we were loosey-goosey with our schedule.

[Dmmetler]

What I've learned with DD is that she tends to cry when she's afraid of failing/falling and feels she should succeed. Once she gets into it, she's fine.  In fact, usually it's a sign it's about right-that it's tough enough that she is not sure she can do it,  but that it's not so hard that she can dismiss it as "I'm not supposed to be able to do this, and anything I do is enough". So right now, I could hand her anything at a middle school level and she wouldn't cry over it, and the same with college/grad level, but high school she feels she should be able to do, so if she's not sure, here comes the waterworks. It's a strange flavor of perfectionism. Too easy, she doesn't care if she makes silly mistakes. Too hard and she knows she's not supposed to get it right, so she's proud of what she can do. If it's at that 75% or so correct on first glance, but the last 25% needs to be learned sweet spot, she'll inevitably break down emotionally first, but then push through, get it, be proud of getting it, and be good for awhile before she next breaks down.

 

It's one of these "I'm kind of glad she's not in a regular classroom" situations-because honestly, how do you tell an outside teacher that if your child is crying over their work when they first see it, it means you've hit the right level-where she's not sure that she can do it right away, but feels that it's within her grasp? I'm just glad her mentors are also parents.

 

 

 

 

[quark]

deleted for privacy

[Arcadia]

 

So, I decided to start a new thread so I don't derail the other one.  I have so many questions to ask

...

There were so many good points in the other thread that it had me thinking.  At this point in time, I need some sleep.  :)

 

My parents, aunts and cousins had many questions raising me.  I have many questions raising my kids that they can give their perspective/opinions but not solutions. Don't worry about the what ifs or what could have beens, just get enough rest and forge ahead.

 

By the time we are grandparents, there will still be questions to ponder about our kids. I still remember my aunts telling my dad that kids don't come with instruction manuals so don't follow those child rearing books to the letter :lol:  My dad is the only worrywart in the extended family. 

 

Many of us in my extended family never make use of all our natural abilities.  What is full potential and does every child need to reach it to be happy? Are we "bad" parents if our kids aren't able to reach their full potential in all their natural abilities?  I don't know the answers to that but I don't expect to.  I have friends who major in child psychology at college. They are having a rough ride as parents too.

[desertflower]

These are great insights and advices! Thank you! I apologize for responding so late, but dh had a tele conference from 11 to 1 and wanted the kids to be out of the house. I guess that answers the question about a routine. I always thought it was my personality, but I think it's probably due to dh's work.

 

I have lots of questions/comments, but I'm on my phone so please bear with me and excuse the typos.

[desertflower]

I know using IP and CWP behind level is close to conventional wisdom on the main boards. I think that is wrong, especially for a smart advanced kid. They are designed to be used on level. No wonder your kid is bored doing "hard" work from the previous year/level. CWP only has ~300 problems a year. Some of those are quick mental math or geometry. If you are not spending much time on the main lessons, you should have plenty of time to do most during a standard 180 day school year.

 

We use other programs for our main math and use CWP either at level to work on showing work, following algorithms, etc and above level for problem solving and perseverance. I can't imagine it being useful for advanced kids to use it below level.

Ok my phone froze and did something odd. Anyhow, I pressed I like your post, but I'm not sure if it took.

 

Thanks for the advice. I didn't think of using CWP and IP on schedule. You are right...I got the idea,of using it a year behind from other threads. At the time I didn't think to search on this board.

 

What else do you do for an advanced kid in math? I already have books by Zacarro, and Borac. I'm reading BA 3B to him. Will buy the practice problems soon. I have a few logic games. Was thinking about getting mythmatical battle, but just don't want to waste money. Since he grasps concepts fast, then why get it?

[desertflower]

FWIW, we have a pretty set schedule here. Meaning, we begin at the same time everyday and progress through subjects in the same order. Generally, our school hours are 9:00 - 12:30. And we also "double-up" on one class per day, so we are doing 5 days worth of lessons in 4 - we take every Friday off.

 

Previously, I've had penmanship as our first "class" because it's something that DS is able to do on his own and ease into the day. Then we move onto our core subjects (language followed by math) so we don't rush through them. Then we move to history (his personal favorite), science, and reading.

 

He's older than your son - we started homeschooling at 3rd grade, so he was 8/9, and the rule has always been that he has to complete his daily assignments before we do anything else, including lunch. Of course, he had been used to being in a classroom from 9:00 - 4:00, so he still considers it a really short day, and we get so much more done than he ever did in PS. This works for us, but he is also the kid who just wants his stack of work for the day and wants to knock it out. Often, he won't even get up for a drink or the restroom.

 

Yes, sometimes there are tears, but as others have stated, it's almost ALWAYS because he's not confident in his ability to do something and was refusing to TRY or he was bored with the practice and wanted to move on to something else. Usually, when it gets to that point, I say we need to take a break. I tell him to go up to his room, calm down, and come back when he is ready to try (not playtime, just time/space to breathe and calm down). He has never taken over 5 minutes before he comes back and sits down and everything goes smoothly again.

 

Now, with all that said....that's what works for DS. I don't think that will work for my DD, who has ZERO interest in any schoolwork whatsoever. She won't even match her capital and lowercase letters correctly, even though I have strong reasons to believe that she knows how to read. But I'm not pushing - she will do it eventually....even if it causes me to go completely gray first. That's why I'm sending her to PS for Kindergarten this fall. I think she needs more of the social aspect of school and to see her friends doing the work and then she will. I might bring her home for 1st, but who knows. Different kids need different things.

Thank you for sharing. I hope ps works in your favor. :)

[desertflower]

We didn't do phonics, since DD was reading on a post high school level, but I established expectations pretty early of X subjects a day-we did some langauge arts/reading, some math, some Latin/Spanish/Greek, some Science/History, etc. At age 5-7, it took maybe 2-3 hours a day, and is increasing as she gets older (last year it was about 6-8 hours a day, but that included a LOT of science (which often involved several hours of hiking of which maybe 30 minutes was actively recording data since much of her science is field based) and a lot of reading/listening to lectures/various in car stuff while driving, so it wasn't exactly 6-8 hours of focused book work in a classroom sense). She was almost 9 before "School" regularly started creeping past lunchtime.

 

For my DD, having a set routine is helpful and required. She is very self-directed and focused within a framework-history taking 2-3 hours at a single setting as we followed rabbit trails wasn't uncommon, math went from 15-20 minutes to 2+ hours within a few years, etc, but if she doesn't have that framework, she doesn't know where to start. For her, building independence has been about teaching her to build that framework for herself, but still following the same basic model we've had for 5-6 years.

Thank you for sharing. I was wondering how it was for you and your dd during the early years. I came in late in the game and all I read are her accomplishments. :) thanks for keeping us posted about those btw.

[desertflower]

Have to go. Dh wanting some attention. Lol

[EKS]

I know using IP and CWP behind level is close to conventional wisdom on the main boards. I think that is wrong, especially for a smart advanced kid. They are designed to be used on level. No wonder your kid is bored doing "hard" work from the previous year/level. CWP only has ~300 problems a year. Some of those are quick mental math or geometry. If you are not spending much time on the main lessons, you should have plenty of time to do most during a standard 180 day school year.

 

We use other programs for our main math and use CWP either at level to work on showing work, following algorithms, etc and above level for problem solving and perseverance.  I can't imagine it being useful for advanced kids to use it below level.

 

I guess it really depends on the kid.  When I used CWP a year behind, it was really only 4-5 months behind because my son was moving through the main program at double speed.  He got cranky if we spent too long on a topic, but he also needed more distributed practice (at a longer interval) than he was getting with the main program.  I found that using CWP as review was challenging enough to be interesting and still provided the reinforcement that he needed.

[Black-eyed Suzan]

First of all, my oldest is almost 9, so take my advice accordingly! Many others have more experience here….

Hello!

 

So, I decided to start a new thread so I don't derail the other one.  I have so many questions to ask.  Quark?  Arcadia?  Are you out there?  Quark, I've decided to overthink this.  :)  To anyone else out there, please feel free to chime in. 

 

Please bear with me as I gather my thoughts.  Also, it's that time of the month for me so I may be worrying too much.  :)

 

I realize that school should only take 1 - 2 hours for my son who is 6 1/2, but there are days when we don't do any schooling (well at least not much).  Since he's ahead I don't push.  I don't know if he's gifted, but I do know that he's smart. 

 

I guess one of my concerns is that since the "school year" is coming up that I should be doing 1 - 2 hours of schooling mon - thursday.  What if I don't?  I see threads where some kids do math everyday and sometimes twice a day.  I'm lucky if I do SM twice a week.  Say I do schooling a total of twice a week?  I don't want to be presumptuous and think "oh he's ahead.  I don't have to do anything right now."  I do have IP and CWP a year behind and that doesn't take long either.  We did 2 problems in the CWP book and since he understood it I ended the lesson.  I think this is scary for me.  I am a box checker.  I like to make sure that he understands every problem and want him to do all the problems.  At the same time I know he'll be bored and frustrated if I had him do all the problems.  So, generally it's just 5 problems from the SM lesson and that's it.  we move on.  I'm just not comfortable with that.  Is this how it is with you guys? 

 

He may not be at the right math level? I found at that age that my son would make huge jumps in math comprehension. It didn't work for us to work through a program like SM, although I really wanted to so I could check boxes! Life of Fred fit his style and strengths better - a bit of practice, some interesting concepts thrown in, an amusing story. This board also taught me that it can be ok to jump ahead and fill in gaps because sometimes "hard is easy" and "easy is hard." It can be much more challenging to get the child to do work that is below their level because it is not interesting to them.

 

So, I guess since "1st grade" is coming up, I need to add in more school time?  Slowly add in more time each year, so we don't go from 2 hr/week to 12 - 15 hr/week?

 

When my oldest son was 6, he was pushing back when I started to institute a school routine. I told him that it was the law that he had to do school, his main job was to learn, and if he didn't work at home he would need to attend public school. Of course I worked hard to make things interesting, fun, etc., but I wanted him to know that this wasn't optional and it did require cooperation and effort on his part. We did(do) some sort of school activity each day and I had a minimal amount that I would accept. Some days we did a lot more, some days the minimum, but at least I knew that something was getting done.

 

If you talk to my son, he only considers the seat work school, but he doesn't realize that I also consider the educational things he does in his free time school, too.  I "strew" a lot of educational material, some of which is used and some of which isn't. I want my kids to have a chance to develop their own educational interests, too, so if they show an interest in a subject, I work to find resources about that.

 

Also, if you haven't already, write down goals for your son for the year (or whatever period of time). It really helped me because as I went along I unconsciously raised the bar for his achievement in my mind, then felt like homeschooling was failing because I wasn't reaching that raised bar. Going back and rereading my goals helped me see how far we actually came that first year.

 

Also, do you guys have a routine?  I see threads where people have circle time every morning.  During their circle time, I'm most likely getting my cup of coffee and the kids are either playing or watching tv.  Is circle time necessary?  I may be feeling guilty of not having one.  I know every family is different, but I am trying to cultivate a love for learning.

 

SWB in her "Homeschooling the Real Child" lecture talks about how most children do better with at least a basic routine for the day because they feel more in control that way - I agree. Our routine is very flexible, but we have a basic flow for how the day works and we have a few set times for things (generally meals and a flexible start time of 9 am). Circle time doesn't work here first thing because when it is time for school, my son tends to want to just get to the work. It would frustrate him to listen or do the lighter subjects first thing. Those work much better here as a break from the seat work or after seat work is complete. Honestly, a lot is trial and error. :)

 

 

Also, I don't understand something.  Someone mentioned that there were tears and frustration when their child was learning how to play an instrument (I'm going to assume this child was not 6.).  So this is okay to do, but not with phonics lessons?  I've read where people say if your child is in tears to lay back or switch programs.  In fact I was probably one of these people who said to scale it down.  lol  I don't want my child in tears.  Perhaps it's okay when the child is older?  To learn perseverance? 

 

I've decided to forge ahead with phonics lessons.  I think it's too valuable of a lesson to put in the back burner.  I'll tell him this too.  I was getting some push back before and that's why I just let it slide.  I want to make this fun right?  Anyhow, before he would run around after saying each word.  But now that he's reading readers, I guess I'll just have him run around after every sentence.  lol 

 

Carol Barnier has a game called Roadblock that helped us with phonics and learning to read. Her materials say that they are for ADHD, but I feel like they are good for normal wiggly young children, too. I do want to tell you about my oldest, though, in case it applies to yours as well. He was clearly bright and listened to high-level audio books most of the day, but was resistant to learning to read. Phonics Pathways and OPGTR caused tears. A white board helped, but still wasn't fun. He would tolerate the Roadblock game and learned all his phonograms. Learned to blend, then read, but disliked it and only did it when required. Eventually he was rubbing his eyes after/during reading. A normal eye exam found nothing. We found out later that he has convergence insufficiency (his eyes don't work together to focus well), and they don't test for that in the basic exam. After vision therapy, it is better but still affects his reading (he often uses an e-reader with a larger font). COVD optometrists test for it routinely if you have one in your area, or you can specifically mention that he is reluctant to read to your regular optometrist. I'm just encouraging you that if your gut is telling you that he should be reading and he isn't, you may want to look into possible reasons why.

 

 

My dh wants me to push more on his phonics lessons.  He wants him reading like now.  I told him to wait.  That he has the skills to do it now, it's just a matter of him wanting to pick up a book and read it.  My dh thinks he has a mental block that he can't do it.  (This may have something to do with when he was 5 I might have shown some frustration during the phonics lessons or I fell asleep.  lol This was before I realize he was a kinesthetic learner and it got better once I had him doing jumping jacks, etc. during the lesson.)  I was also thinking that since he's very competitive he'll start reading once my dd starts to read.  He never wants to be outdone by her.  For example, about a month ago, she wanted a phonics lessons.  She sat there for about 30 mins reading.  Immediately after that my ds wanted a phonics lessons too.  lol  And of course he did just fine.  So given that information, I really think he's just going to pick it up once my dd starts to read, but my dh doesn't want to wait. 

 

 

 

I do like the kids playing together most of the day.  I think that playing together is essential for character development and hopefully a bond.  So I do limit his wii and computer time. 

 

There were so many good points in the other thread that it had me thinking.  At this point in time, I need some sleep.  :)

 

Thanks for reading and for any insights.  Looking forward to reading what you guys have to say. 

 

And now it's time for bed here, too. :)

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I realize that school should only take 1 - 2 hours for my son who is 6 1/2, but there are days when we don't do any schooling (well at least not much). Since he's ahead I don't push.

Every family is different, but we never took the attitude that dd's ahead, so we won't push. (I'm using push to mean encouraging her to stretch her boundaries and leave her comfort zone.) At that age we did school 4 days a week. Often that included 2 long days and 2 shorter ones.

 

I guess one of my concerns is that since the "school year" is coming up that I should be doing 1 - 2 hours of schooling mon - thursday. What if I don't? I see threads where some kids do math everyday and sometimes twice a day. I'm lucky if I do SM twice a week. Say I do schooling a total of twice a week? I don't want to be presumptuous and think "oh he's ahead. I don't have to do anything right now." I do have IP and CWP a year behind and that doesn't take long either. We did 2 problems in the CWP book and since he understood it I ended the lesson. I think this is scary for me. I am a box checker. I like to make sure that he understands every problem and want him to do all the problems. At the same time I know he'll be bored and frustrated if I had him do all the problems. So, generally it's just 5 problems from the SM lesson and that's it. we move on. I'm just not comfortable with that. Is this how it is with you guys?

 

So, I guess since "1st grade" is coming up, I need to add in more school time? Slowly add in more time each year, so we don't go from 2 hr/week to 12 - 15 hr/week?

We followed the recommendations in The Well-Trained Mind pretty closely in the early years, although often using alternative books and resources. It took time. Sometimes lots of it. Maybe it wouldn't for others, but the way we approached it amounted to at least a few hours a day. I expected a lot out of her in the early years. Different child, I would have done things differently. No question. I was teaching the child I had, with the personality I had.

 

On top of TWTM, we did many of Charlotte Mason's recommendations. The two approaches may seem at odds with one another in some ways, but it worked well for us.

 

Also, do you guys have a routine? I see threads where people have circle time every morning. During their circle time, I'm most likely getting my cup of coffee and the kids are either playing or watching tv. Is circle time necessary? I may be feeling guilty of not having one. I know every family is different, but I am trying to cultivate a love for learning

Absolutely. We have had a routine going almost her whole life. Not a strict schedule, but more of a flow to the day.

Circle time was an important part of the early years. Having a circle of two doesn't diminish the magic... ;)

 

What we didn't have was a TV. For that I am grateful.

 

There are so many hours during the day. So very many....

I see no problem having a young child do some desk work and some other "school" work. What that looks like and how much is the right amount will vary from child to child.

 

Even spending 3 or 4 hours doing "school work", there were still hours stretching before us to play. Even those 3-4 hours often felt like play for this particular child.

 

I strongly recommend keeping your eyes on the child. I treasure the memories of the "work" of those early years. As we transition into high school, I can look back now and see the interplay of nature/nurture in the teen she has become.

 

Listen to others, listen to yourself, listen to the child.

[desertflower]

I missed the question about math. We accelerate SM, so we do CWP and IP on level with the texts. We actually only do text problems and IP at this point, which isn't a lot of problems at all. Sometimes we do CWP, but usually I don't find it necessary. There are word problems in the IP so that's satisfied the challenge there. I understand it's scary to skip. I've been there, got the tee shirt. You can probably search this board and find 100 post from me asking these same questions. What helped me chill out about it was realizing we have the gift of time. He's 6. If you have to layer in something you missed because you realized "oh, maybe he does need a little instruction," you have time. I'm not advocating skipping for accelerations sake, but if he's got the math down and he's ready to move on, don't worry about doing every problem.

 

As far as the reading, obviously you are free to teach how you see fit, that's the beauty of this all. I'm of the school that just because they are capable, doesn't mean the time is right. It was always my number one goal to instill a love of reading in my kids, so I've operated with that in mind. My older DS never had phonics instruction, as he taught himself to read, and my youngers both learned to read at Montessori school, so I only have an rough idea what it entails. (I understand what phonics are, it's just I've never seen any of the books often mentioned here OPGTR, and 100 easy lessons) I'm only speaking to the pushing of reading in general, which I'm not even saying you're doing, just throwing this all out there.

 

How do you make your math program spiral?  I only do it this way to make things spiral.  So, I won't feel so bad at just doing a few problems. 

 

[desertflower]

 

 

I hope you had a good time!  :)

[desertflower]

There is a lot of learning by just living at that age. I don't think you need to add more school time but I lean more towards child-led.

 

For math,

they take turns buying food for the family at fast foods restaurants with cash. One of my kids would remember what each of us want, tally the amount and calculate the change he is suppose to get back from the cashier.   Add, subtract, multiply, concept of money done without curriculum.  Games like Monopoly, Mastermind was helpful too.

 

For language arts we just read.  Books, road signs, store notices (even things like store liquor license), instructions at the science/tech museums on what to do at the hands on stations.   We often spend time during the weekend at Barnes and Nobles browsing through the new books and magazines there. Kids create and act out their own plays with Legos and Playmobil.

 

I think it depends on what you count as school time.  Language arts and math took much less than an hour in 1st grade for DS9.  My DS10 was in B&M for K and 1st.

Our routine was just breakfast, LA and Math, playtime, lunch, all other subjects like history/science/music/German, playtime, leisure reading, bedtime.

 

SM took my kids 10 minutes a day (weekday) but computation is their forte.  Weekends we did random puzzles for math. Thinks like tangrams, Sudoku, logic puzzles.  Hubby is on board with enrichment instead of speeding through SM.  DS10 did end up finishing SM6 when he was 8.5 years  old and went on to prealgebra. DS9 skip SM6 and did a slower (than his brother) pace through prealgebra.

 

 

 

DS10 had tears for violin.  DS9 had tears for flute.   Both had cried over math, science, swimming, riding a bike, golf, rock climbing at an indoor gym as well so its not just music.   DS9 used to cry at the drop of a hat, now he complains to himself.  He is just expressing his frustration and after he cry it all out for a few minutes he is good.  DS10 seldom cries.  For him to cry means that something has reach a breaking point. It means in the case of violin (which wasn't his choice, he wanted cello and we asked him to try violin first) that we give up after thinking over and in the case of swimming we stopped for awhile for him to learn to cope with getting his face wet.

 

You have three kids.  They are likely to cry for different reasons and different intensity.  Go with your gut feel when to stay on course, when to take a break and when to give up.

 

 

Phonics helped with spelling for my not as good speller. Comically German phonics helped German spelling a lot more than English phonics help English spelling. 

I think it is important for kids to not feel our stress/annoyance when we are teaching them. I have kids that pick up vibes too well so if I am upset they get worried about why I am upset.

 

My hubby used to panic about DS9 not reading because DS10 read very early while DS9 won't read for hubby.  When DS9 was tested by his public charter teacher at 5 years old, the "joker" read very well because I told him that if he flop the reading test he gets remedial sessions (which is true) with his teacher. Now hubby can look back and laugh about his panic over DS9's reading progress.

 

There is too much hype in the media about boys not being good readers which may be why your husband wants him reading now.  My kids does not like the phonics readers, they skip those.   Instead their first "readings" was actually all the signs in stores and food labels on snacks. They picked up phonics from Leapfrog so I didn't have to teach them.  I think your son just doesn't see an urgency to read until your daughter is on par.

 

ETA;

If you haven't discuss educational goals with your husband, it would be good to do so.  We started the discussion as friends when we were undergrads and needed a break from studying.  Both of us wanted a play based kind of learning for our kids. My oldest when he was younger hates change or transitions and wants a timetable so he ended up creating his daily schedule.  For example, when he was younger, he expects his lunch at 11:30am and dinner at 5pm so he mentally shutdown before meal times and gets moody if food is not ready.  However he is okay with eating a small bowl of cereal or a slice of bread while I finish cooking. He would ask for food every four hours from newborn to about 4 years old, more accurate than looking at my watch.

My youngest could play Legos all day. He likes a checklist because he likes the visual aspect of it.  He doesn't like to remember what he is suppose to do, he rather have a checklist to look at and check off.   He requires more hand holding in organizational skills than my older boy did at the same age.   Different kids different accommodations.

 

I love Legos and so do my boys.  Below link would have been our dream house.

 

"What does it look like to own 250,000 Lego bricks? Take a tour of a US architect's basement complete with custom-built shelves and IKEA bins to hold and display his massive Lego collection."

http://www.cnet.com/news/this-guy-has-the-most-insane-lego-collection-in-his-basement/

 

That is a lot of legos!  My kids would love that room.  Of course the storage bins aren't necessary as the legos would just be on the floor anyhow.  lol  Thanks for the link.

 

I think you are right about my ds not seeing the urgency in reading.  That's what I think too.  He reads road signs too.  I don't go into Barnes and Nobles anymore because I know I'll end up buying something.  My discover card just loves me.  lol  I wait for a coupon in the email and then buy.  Like got one for this weekend and will buy Mindset.  :)

 

This is a great idea about having him paying for things in cash.  I think I'll implement that idea.  Go when it's not crowded because I don't want anyone yelling at me.  :) 

 

He doesn't usually cry over our lessons.  Just the few times when he was 5 over phonics.  I didn't realize he was a kinesthetic learner and I had changed my tactic.  I was just making him read from the pp book.  which is boring.  He generally cries (not like a baby) when he doesn't win.  Something we are working on.  He's very competitive and has to win.  I'm not like that so I don't understand it. 

 

Thank for sharing!

 

 

[desertflower]

 

 

Yes you are right about dropping a few stuff.  I'm going to drop WWE. 

 

Your experience with the piano teacher reminded me of our experience with a Tae Kwon do instructor.  Same thing pretty much happened over here and our child was not the only one crying.  At least one kid would cry each time we went to class.  We stopped going there and he is doing fine at Choi Kwang Do.  I feel sorry for those other parents.  I think they stayed because they want their children to be obedient like the instructor's.  The instructor had a child about my son's age at the time and yes, she was obedient and well mannered, but she also looked very solemn.  My child runs around and looks happy (People has said that our children are always smiling.). So, we need to work on the running around bit.  lol  I just chalk it up to him being a kid. 

 

[Runningmom80]

Maybe he's just bored of phonics? If he's already reading easy readers, maybe just practice reading for a while, and sneak in the phonics as he needs it?

[desertflower]

Not sure it this is helpful, but mine is also going into first grade this year. Last year, we schooled 3 days per week. He also took 3 days of fun classes at his charter school -- stuff like art, music, Lego, etc. All of his "core" classes were with me. It went really well -- much better than I expected, actually.

 

This year, we will be schooling 4 days per week. Our charter school is moving to a smaller facility, and will only have classes for his age 1 day/week. We will see how it works out.

 

My son really prefers routine. He likes to know what is expected, and adjusts accordingly. If we were all over the place with our day, I am sure that we would have more struggles.

 

We always do math first. Some days, if the math is light, we add in logic.

 

After math, we snuggle in bed, and I read aloud to him. Then, he reads aloud to me.

 

After reading, we move back to the table and he does his writing and foreign language for the day. 

 

Then, we switch gears, move back to the couch, and do either science (usually reading books and/or watching documentaries) or history (audiobooks).

 

So, seat time is really just for math, writing, and foreign language. The rest of "school," we do from the couch or snuggled in bed. We start school whenever we wake up, and we are done by lunch. The rest of his day is his. We accomplished quite a bit last year with very minimal drama. I've thought about being more unschooly in our approach, but I honestly think that there'd be more head-butting if we were loosey-goosey with our schedule.

 

Thank you for sharing.  I often wonder if things would be different if he was the only child.  But it's okay.  I wanted 2 other children.  :) 

 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Thank you for sharing.  I often wonder if things would be different if he was the only child.  But it's okay.  I wanted 2 other children.  :) 

 

 

Just wanted to make sure you know that the person you quoted in that post (SeaConquest) has more than one child.  I didn't know if you were relating the comment to her post or if it was just a general comment. I wanted to clarify, just in case you thought she only had one.  :)

[Arcadia]

I often wonder if things would be different if he was the only child. But it's okay. I wanted 2 other children.

 

That depends so much on the kid and where your extended family are and also how much help they give.

Time management was the main difference between an only and more than one child. My DS9 tags along to all of DS10's activities because we have no family nearby to babysit. My younger (by 8.5 years) brother did not need to tag along because I was old enough to get myself places by the time he was born and I have much older cousins living nearby who don't mind chaperoning me if an adult is suppose to wait around.

 

Financially we hope that our kids can share most things so it's less costly. However each child has their own interests and so financially we have little cost savings except for sibling discounts at some places.

 

Education wise they have their unique needs so I don't get to combine even though they are a year apart. Hubby used DS10's SM books to mark DS9's SM books because we didn't buy the HIG so I marked DS10's math without answer key. Now I can use the AoPS solutions manuals for both boys.

 

Given my oldest temperament, if he was an only we would need to live in a more bustling place. He has a love hate relationship with crowds.

 

ETA:

I assume it was a generic musing. SeaConquest has more than one child.

 

ETA:

We are going off to cello lessons. DS9 wants to do cello because DS10 is doing cello. It is affordable so we let DS9 learn cello as his secondary instrument. So it can cost more when the other siblings wants to join in to their siblings interest just because.

 

Their diverse interests do end up broadening each other's knowledge base :)

[desertflower]

What I've learned with DD is that she tends to cry when she's afraid of failing/falling and feels she should succeed. Once she gets into it, she's fine.  In fact, usually it's a sign it's about right-that it's tough enough that she is not sure she can do it,  but that it's not so hard that she can dismiss it as "I'm not supposed to be able to do this, and anything I do is enough". So right now, I could hand her anything at a middle school level and she wouldn't cry over it, and the same with college/grad level, but high school she feels she should be able to do, so if she's not sure, here comes the waterworks. It's a strange flavor of perfectionism. Too easy, she doesn't care if she makes silly mistakes. Too hard and she knows she's not supposed to get it right, so she's proud of what she can do. If it's at that 75% or so correct on first glance, but the last 25% needs to be learned sweet spot, she'll inevitably break down emotionally first, but then push through, get it, be proud of getting it, and be good for awhile before she next breaks down.

 

It's one of these "I'm kind of glad she's not in a regular classroom" situations-because honestly, how do you tell an outside teacher that if your child is crying over their work when they first see it, it means you've hit the right level-where she's not sure that she can do it right away, but feels that it's within her grasp? I'm just glad her mentors are also parents.

 

Okay.  I'll have to keep this in mind.   I hope I can make that connection if my son is like that. 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

My response to dd's crying is the same as it was in infancy. Why is she crying?

 

Tears can mean so many different things. Why is she crying? It can be tricky because sometimes even she doesn't know... Tears can teach us if we listen, and if we're willing to work through uncomfortable moments.

[desertflower]

 

Thanks for this insight.  I liked the bunny trail you did with the piano piece. 

 

I think I'm more worried that we are not putting in enough quality time.  I don't mean that I have to put in 2 hours.  I guess I mean........for example, for math all we will do is probably 2 lessons of SM/week for weeks without doing anything else or not do it for weeks.  I have all these other books and good intentions, but it's hardly ever implemented.  Sometimes I would ask him questions.  I guess one would call it mental math problems, but that's not everyday either.  Does that make sense?  I feel like I'm such a slacker.  I think all we do is play all day and I can tell that he wants more.  I guess I'm looking for an okay that it's okay for an advanced kid to do this.  lol 

 

You are right about taking care of myself.  I decided to an extra hour of sleep every night this past few months and I am much happier and can play more. 

 

[desertflower]

I guess it really depends on the kid.  When I used CWP a year behind, it was really only 4-5 months behind because my son was moving through the main program at double speed.  He got cranky if we spent too long on a topic, but he also needed more distributed practice (at a longer interval) than he was getting with the main program.  I found that using CWP as review was challenging enough to be interesting and still provided the reinforcement that he needed.

 

This is true.  Thanks for letting me know.  I'll have to keep an eye on how he is.  What rapture_dad made sense.  He may be bored.  My dh and I thought it was a good idea and provided a spiral program, but we shall see. 

[EKS]

This is true.  Thanks for letting me know.  I'll have to keep an eye on how he is.  What rapture_dad made sense.  He may be bored.  My dh and I thought it was a good idea and provided a spiral program, but we shall see. 

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, I think I actually did CWP a semester behind rather than a year behind.  SM actually does spiral somewhat year to year, meaning that concepts are revisited and expanded upon in a fairly predictable order on a yearly cycle.  Doing CWP a semester behind kept the prior semester's work more fresh.

 

My problem was that my son would get bored *and* he needed review in order to remember anything.  It was very difficult to balance those two issues without running into disgruntlement.

[quark]

deleting for privacy!