sdobis Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 My hubby will begin working from home in a month. Thankfully, our home is pretty quiet with a 17yo and 11yo. He also has set work hours when he'll be in his home office, so disturbing each other shouldn't be an issue. My concern is more about the adjustment. My husband is very social and will miss being surrounded by his co-workers every day. He loves to get out of the house and be busy. How can I help him transition to this new lifestyle? Has anyone done this that could share some tips? How do you interact with your spouse when you are both home on a daily basis? How can we mix it up so we don't fall into a rut? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Dh has worked from home for over 7 years. He breaks up his routine by taking his lunch breaks to do something outside, if possible. (We have a garden and some property, so he usually just goes and puts around for an hour). Sometimes I join him, often I'm in the middle of doing something though. I don't talk to him much during the day. He's often on the phone from dawn until 5:30PM. One of the best things he's done was to get a hands free headset. It allows him to be up and moving around more, and he can often be seen taking a call on the front porch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Are there any homeschool families that you hang out with? Perhaps you could invite them over for game night once in a while? Or movie night? As for daily interaction with each other, that kind of depends on the people involved. Some may want work time to be just work time, no real interaction until they are done. Others may like eating lunch together but not a lot of contact otherwise until "work hours" are over. Still others like to mix it up and spend time together on a regular basis. This may take time for all of you to get a good rhythm going. Have you had any extensive discussions with your DH about his preferences? Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Dh has worked from home for our entire marriage. Here are some things that have helped us: Separate office with a door that closes, and clear agreed upon signals as to whether or not he is available. The nice thing is that he is often available, so if the dryer breaks, he can fix it. Ditto for whether or not I am available to be interrupted while homeschooling. If I am in the middle of a math lesson, do not come in and start telling me about this funny thing that some guy said on the phone. Sheesh. :D He runs errands and does grocery shopping because it gets him out of the house. (I am SO lucky! I hate doing that stuff.) He belongs to a Rotary club and helps at church, so he gets social time that's not provided by me. I don't know about the rut thing. For us, with an at-home centered lifestyle, routine is important. We get up and eat breakfast together at the same time every weekday, for example, and we have a daily rhythm. Dh says it helps him stay focused to maintain regular work hours. OTOH, the flexibility is nice. If he needs a break to clear his head, he mows the lawn or fixes something, then comes back to the job fresh. And if we need him to help run kids around in the middle of the day, he'll pop out to the office in the evening to finish up anything left undone. I think this was the most difficult challenge for us, especially when the children were little, finding a balance between enjoying his availability and making sure we didn't take too much advantage of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 When my dh did this he found that he needed more interaction than he got from his family so he was always doing some project that required him to to to Freddies or Home Depot. He went almost every day after work sometimes. He spent a lot of money, but made a lot of great home improvements. Some of the home improvements were silly things that just cost money, though. If money is an issue for you I would discuss how he is going to get needed social interaction without spending too much of it, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdobis Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Thanks for the ideas. He has no choice but to be at his desk during work hours except for regular breaks. It's just what his company needs. I'm going to plan a lunch date with him once a week and plan to have company over more often (2-3 times a month). I'm also gonna push him into getting more involved at church. He's already involved, but he'll have an extra hour per day now that he's not driving to an office. I'd like to have lunch together as a family as often as possible. Thankfully my kids are old enough that his needing my attention shouldn't be an issue. We are a home centered family as well, and I like a routine. The problem is that I'm an introvert who's happy to stay home on a regular basis. I may not realize that my husband is getting bored and eventually depressed. Unfortunately he has cerebral palsy, so it is more difficult for him to do physical activity. It's been a constant battle for him because he enjoys being physical, but he has to deal with limitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 plan on being his new all-day socializer and what you do in a day to decrease. read sites from women with newly retired husbands. I have finally gotten through to him - if you have clients coming here, I get plenty of notice (because the house has to be clean and I don't have time every day to do everything. I do have a schedule of my own . . . . ) he can't have clients over at hours that will be disruptive of my time with dudeling or putting him to bed. (that's gotten better over the years). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 My hubby works from home often with the door open and has no clue what is going on in the house. This man is so focused! One time I came home worked a little on school plans, put bread the oven, made a cup of tea, and then went in to his office (door open) got something from the printer (obviously the printer had just come on) then asked if he would like some tea; he looked at me and said, "Oh I didn't know you were home." I have the opposite of you; how do I get my husband to socialize with us a bit. Good luck during the transition. Change is always hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datgh Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 My dh works from home a lot of days. The one thing I wish I could get through to him is that if he wants to take a break it doesn't mean I am at a breaking point with school work and vice versa. A poster already noted that her and her dh have signs they give each other if it is ok to interrupt. Wish we had instituted that at the beginning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdobis Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 I love the idea of hearing from wives of new retirees. While I hope he's working more than they are, it will definitely be a big change for us. For our 13 years of marriage, we have always been a one car family. While there may be some challenges, being able to get out of the house for activities without having to take my hubby to work will be a huge blessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 My dh has worked out of our home for 8 years running a small business. He offices upstairs, while we are in the downstairs part of the house. Honestly, he is introverted, can go hours without eating, and tends to be very goal-directed during his time working so it's like he is not here. I think your dh will need to join you for lunch or get out if he is a social type. My dh is not. the kids still get too loud for him, but there are three of them, and my boys argue and like to tease little dd until she screams. Nice during a business phone call. He hollers down the stairs, and they cut it out. I think you will need to let dh know of your schedule with school so he does not interrupt. A break for him might not be a break for you guys. My dh has worked at home the entire time we've been homeschooling, so there was no adjustment. It helps mightily that he is upstairs. Sometimes I don't even know if he is here or gone and have to check the garage for his car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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