emzhengjiu Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Without going into too many details, my teen daughter recently applied to a particular organization (not a college or university.) It was a competitive process but it's not a situation where hundreds of applications are received either. She received an acceptance letter that required her to notify the organization that she accepts. She followed through immediately. We were all excited. Three days later, she received a casually worded email stating a mistake had been made and she had not been accepted. It was frustrating because three days had gone by during which time we believed she had been selected and told several friends and family. The original acceptance had her name and other identifying information. After some serious, pointed discussions between myself and the representative, they have honored their offer. I believe my daughter is well qualified, but we don't know how to proceed. I don't want her to feel awkward because I don't know how she would be treated. This is a unique opportunity that I would love for her to have, but I want it to work out well for her. We would appreciate any advice or just a hug. We're both feeling sensitive right now so gentleness would be appreciated. Thanks so much. ETA: this is not a job or an academic program Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5of5 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 You think she might be treated poorly because she wasn't supposed to make it in? I would think that they wouldn't advertise the mistake either, so possibly very few people would really know. Plus, if she is well-qualified, she will prove herself, and remove any lingering doubts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tshirtyogapantmama Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 After talking to the rep did they tell you or your daughter why she wasn't going to be accepted? That would play a huge role to me in deciding to accept and go or pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 After talking to the rep did they tell you or your daughter why she wasn't going to be accepted? That would play a huge role to me in deciding to accept and go or pass. We were told that there were several well qualified applicants and it was a difficult decision. Not a real answer in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Could she have a conversation with them about why she wasn't accepted? If it was simply they had too many applications, I'd have no problem letting her go. Nobody will know there had been such a mix-up. On the other hand, if they give a 'reason' why she wasn't accepted, then maybe consider that reason and either dismiss it (maybe they didn't have the info you had) or consider it and perhaps let her try again in a year when she's worked on whatever the issue was. I'm guessing there really isn't a reason, and that they just had too many applicants. It doesn't matter whether they had one too many or a hundred too many. If they had too many and had to cut, chances are she's just as qualified as the others who were accepted...and she can go with her head held high. If anyone there 'knows' she wasn't accepted, shame on them for revealing that. But I understand that you are a little cautious. It's your daughter! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tshirtyogapantmama Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Since they didn't give you a real answer, I would suggest talking with her about the following things: 1) How does your daughter feel NOW that the org. is honoring the accepted email? Is she happy? Nervous? Excited? Confused? 2) Is the opportunity something she really wants to do? Is it worth the time/$ you and her are going spend on it? 3) Whatever the opportunity is...will she have to deal with the rep directly that made the mistake? Is the opportunity cut and dry? (meaning does she know what she will be doing and what they are offering her in return) If not, personally, I would be hesitate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I say she accepts the offer and gets everything out of it that she possibly can! If she was within the range of qualifiers and someone else would have been chosen over her (for whatever reason), that tells me that she could probably handle anything that the others handle. As for being treated differently, I agree with a pp, who said that with this level of mistake committed, nobody on staff will make her feel badly because they don't want their own incompetence to be on display. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I say she should adopt the "entitlement attitude" They accepted her. She is in. Just as qualified as the others to be there. If she has problems later, deal with them later. Obviously there is at least one incompetent person in the organization, so that may be an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftymama Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I say she goes and makes the most of it. If she is uncomfortable or if she feels she is somehow cheating someone who was suppose to go out of a slot then I wouldn't force her to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Good going, Mama, that you got them to live up to their word!!! I'm sure I'm not the only inquiring mind who wants to know, what were the 'pointed discussions' like? How did you convince them? What did you say, what tone did you use, etc? So often we have threads asking for advice about how to handle a situation like this, and it's not often that the Hive is presented with a fait accompli. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Another vote for accepting the offer, for the reasons others have already mentioned. This was clearly a big deal to her, or you wouldn't have told friends and family, and you wouldn't have bothered to complain about it if it wasn't important. Tell her to go for it, and to get everything out of it that she can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Usually acceptance for Stuff like this is pretty subjective. Usually there are a number of good candidates available. It seems likely that your dd is more than qualified. I would take it and she should hold her head high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.