my 12 daughter is becoming a hypochondriac..

[Guest mamaatwitsend]

My daughter for the last few months worries none stop that something is wrong with her. Started with tummy pains moved to lumps in her developing breasts then on to putting an ink pen of a friends in her mouth...and the issues continue daily. I have given her constant reassurance that she is healthy and followed it up with visits to doctors and searching topics of concern with her online to read together to reassure her that things she is going through or feeling are normal. She tells me she can't help but to worry after all she is being taught in health class.I try to encourage her to think of positive things and not worry but it doesn't work. I have sat and talked and talked with her, have been stern and told her she is fine and needs to understand that if there was something of concern I would consult with a doctor and take care of her. Doctors tell her she is healthy and fine but it is like she does not hear it. She has gotten to a point now that she is having panic attacks over everything from a child coughing on or around her, being around anyone sick, talking about what she thinks may be wrong with her...this continues many times a day...I am at my wits end! I can't afford to take her to the doctor with every little thing and I am running out of patience. I am to the point of making an appointment with a psychologist.

[FriedClams]

This may not have anything to do with it - but has she had strep recently? Untreated sore throat? One of my concerns with strep (we had it badly a couple of years ago) is the PANDAS side effect that seems to link to OCD symptom onset.

 

My mom had long term untreated anxiety. When she finally got help everyone was so much better off. It sounds like she might need someone to help her learn coping techniques for her anxiety. She may grow out of it - I have a 12 year old and totally get their hormones - but if she's miserable and affecting the family, it may be time to seek help.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

It sounds developmental, and normal. DD will be 13 this month and has had an uptick in anxiety. My onco sw, dd's child life spec, and dw, the middle school teacher all confirm it's pretty normal.

 

DD is aware of it and has taken a keen interest in understanding. We got one book - Care and Feeding of Your Adolescent Self (i think) that she likes, and there seem to be similar amazon titles.

[Pawz4me]

I agree that increased anxiety is common in kids her age.  But what you describe seems way more than typical.  I think you're right to have her seen by a professional.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

I agree, as DD's cls is awesome. It also makes working with mental health pros less unusual or scary, or....

 

Which is something the adult population really needs to learn.

 

Edit - if you find the acronym RPT after a name - registered play therapist, that's good, as I've found DD needs a connection from, as she puts it, her little girl self to her teen self.

[suzybluecheese]

I'll admit that your daughter sounds like me at that age.  A therapist would be good.  My mom got pretty good at talking me through the panic attacks, but it would have probably helped to know what she was dealing with with me.  If you want, PM me.

[Slartibartfast]

My family swore I was a hypochondriac for years until it was actually learned I had a chronic illness and a rather nasty food allergy. I take medication for anxiety but as it turned out my anxiety had nothing whatsoever to do with my other symptoms.

 

 

 

If she is having panic attacks then you should go ahead and call the psychologist.

[Χά�ων]

This except it was DS who had the health issues. I STILL encounter the attitude of "he is just faking it" from people.

 

My family swore I was a hypochondriac for years until it was actually learned I had a chronic illness and a rather nasty food allergy. I take medication for anxiety but as it turned out my anxiety had nothing whatsoever to do with my other symptoms.

 

 

 

If she is having panic attacks then you should go ahead and call the psychologist.

 

[Haiku]

She has gotten to a point now that she is having panic attacks over everything from a child coughing on or around her, being around anyone sick, talking about what she thinks may be wrong with her...this continues many times a day...I am at my wits end! I can't afford to take her to the doctor with every little thing and I am running out of patience. I am to the point of making an appointment with a psychologist.

 

When we adopted my dd at age 11, I took her to the doctor over 20 times in 6 months because she had a constant stream of health complaints. They never found anything wrong, and we eventually just started referring to it as "[DD's] Mystery Ailment of the Day" and ignoring it. Eventually she stopped.

 

But if your dd is having panic attacks over these things, I would take her to a counselor. That level of anxiety sounds over the top.

[Ripley]

If it's not a physical issue, as other posters described having, it might be an issue of control.

 

Not only does she feel out of control in relation to her body's physiology, but to the environment (people) around her. If it hasn't already, it might spur a side issue relating to trust - you, the doctor's, and anyone who SHE PERCEIVES as not believing her/taking her seriously. That in turn might make her think she's going crazy, and in that panic she'll become immune to outside help. People in panic aren't where they need to be emotionally or mentally to see or take the life preserver.

 

You said this started in health class, so let's start there. Where did she take that class? Why is she elevating that information above the information you've given her and her doctor confirms? (Likely because it's appealed to her sense of fear.) So you start by addressing her fears - if the person is coughing, what do you fear will happen to you? If you catch someone's cough, what do you fear will happen next? Really walk her through her fears, step by step.

 

Once she's named her fears, address those with ways she can manage them - give her tangible and concrete ideas to put into action. Come up with a checklist if you can. Checklists help people in panic mode, and will put some into (a guided) auto-pilot that keeps them from falling down the tunnel.  An example:

 

A. Symptomatic - identify and track for 48 hours. (she can do every hour/morning, whatever she feels needed)

B. Worst & Best Case Scenarios - write/share; this works with her fear but requires she see the flip side, also

C. Flow Chart - if this, then that - cover worst case, best case, and "most likely/reasonable case"

D. At 48 hours, re-evaluate symptoms. Track position on flow chart and decide course of action (doctor, self/mom care)

E. Keep this (and all checklists) in a journal for later reference (Worst Case should rarely, if ever, come true)

 

She can have multiple pages/checklists going at once. She can have a checklist for each potential incident, or one generic one that she follows for each exposure. In time it will give her tangible proof that most of her worst worries don't see fruition, and in the meanwhile it gives her a way to process her fears and find some level of control over them.

 

It might be necessary to see a licensed professional, but even they won't always see past the textbook. The field requires a degree, not intuition. ;) If there isn't someone specific to hypochondria, find one experienced with eating disorders - they may be more in tune with factors of patient perception, fear, control and trust.

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

I'd give her a thermometer and a journal and tell her you'll read it each night, but you don't want to talk about it incessantly. I have no patience for excessive repetition in children past toddlerhood. Sometimes kids this age want a thing that is theirs and you do NOT want this to be her thing. By all means, do your due diligence. Find out which symptoms truly need medical care and which ones you just watch to see if they progress. A psych eval may be worth fewer follow-ups elsewhere. You just can't run I to the doctor for every new imagined symptom. Persistent symptoms that progress, yes, but not for an ailment-du-jour.

 

Would an intensive lesson in statistics help at all?

[gardenmom5]

does she have anxiety?   I would approach it from that standpoint and do things that can help with anxiety.

[HS Mom in NC]

What you are describing is not normal behavior.  

 

You need to see someone about anxiety issues from both a medical and psychological angle.  Diane Craft is a great resource for dealing with all sorts of behavioral issues caused by the typical American diet and antibiotic use (she also covers right brained teaching approaches too.) These can feed depression, anxiety and sleep issues in some people. A lot can be treated without medications.  If it's purely psychological with no other contributing factors then see that she gets help from a professional who specializes in treating anxiety.

 

I would also focus on understanding statistics-something grossly neglected in articles and health books in America. My husband made my older girls do a semester of error analysis before they went to college because he was so disgusted by typical college science classes that would collect data but not teach their students how to understand it.  As an engineer he's frustrated with colleagues who also have plenty of degrees but most have relatively little ability to truly understand raw data and statistics. 

[sbgrace]

This sounds very much like OCD. I would see someone who specializes in CBT for OCD. The OCD Foundation here has a list of therapists who specialize in OCD.

Even a really good cognitive behavioral therapist may not be a good choice for OCD. The approach to OCD is different, and the person needs training in OCD specific approaches. If it's not OCD, and I suspect it is, an OCD like approach would still be the best thing for this type of anxiety. Your reassurance, unfortunately, just feeds it. It's part of the compulsion to reduce the anxiety of her fear thought. Just like a handwashing OCD person fears contamination (obsession) and washes (compulsion), your reassurance (compulsion) gives temporary relief from her fear (obsession). So it feels better to her, but is actually part of the whole OCD cycle. OCD can't be reasoned away. Still, it's such a normal response for a parent. You really need a specialist.

 

What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck is a good book and written toward kids. Reading it might give you and her an idea of what effective treatment looks like. She might not be able to do it without professional help, particularly if the anxiety is high, but perhaps she could. It's a good book.

 

Infection caused OCD (PANDAS or PITANDS) is a night and day/sudden/light switch type change into consuming OCD, among other things. My son's does not appear to be that, but it sure did seem sudden here.

 

His is hypochondria related too FWIW. If you might be interested in safe supplements that might take the edge off for her, pm me. I have some safe, studied placebo controlled pediatric trial over the counter options, one that has been very helpful to my son. CBT targeting OCD is the best thing, though, if you can. OCD is a brain thing. It's not her fault. She just needs help and tools to manage it.