Haiku Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 That sounds exactly like something my dd would do for her birthday. Luckily, we have avoided the issue by just taking the kids to Great Wolf Lodge every year for their birthdays. Their birthdays are the same month, so we just do a family trip. Hugs to you and your daughter. I'm sure she'll have an awesome party! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 At least they had the decency to cancel. While it is a bit hurtful, people are allowed to change their minds and thus cancel the plans they make with one group to accept plans with another. Also, its better for those who don't want to come, not to come, lest they ruin your daughters big day with their negative attitudes and poor manners. I hope you guys have a blast, even with fewer guests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Wow, you're way kinder than I am. I've reached a point in life where I don't really let that stuff go anymore. I'd have had to say something to the moms who canceled on you. What a rotten thing to do :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 At least they had the decency to cancel. While it is a bit hurtful, people are allowed to change their minds and thus cancel the plans they make with one group to accept plans with another. Also, its better for those who don't want to come, not to come, lest they ruin your daughters big day with their negative attitudes and poor manners. I hope you guys have a blast, even with fewer guests. To dump your original plans so blatantly and publicly is just about the height of crummy manners. "Sorry, I only agreed to come to your boring party because I had nothing else to do that day. Now that I DO have something else to do (and I know you know what it is), I won't be coming. Thanks though!" I can't really see thinking that's OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 To dump your original plans so blatantly and publicly is just about the height of crummy manners. "Sorry, I only agreed to come to your boring party because I had nothing else to do that day. Now that I DO have something else to do (and I know you know what it is), I won't be coming. Thanks though!" I can't really see thinking that's OK. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 This summer, oldest dd invited 5 girls from church to meet her at a local cafe the next day (Monday). This type of gathering is not uncommon in our area. The cafe is owned by a family well liked and known in the community. They serve tea, coffee, smoothies, muffins, that type thing. It has become a wonderful place to meet and relax. All 5 said they would love to come and a couple said they would bring their younger sisters to "hang out" with youngest dd. In fact, the group together decided on the time and place. None showed up. None called. None answered their phones when dd called them. Dds sat there and sipped iced tea and talked together while I met with a couple moms. Oldest asked at youth what happened and all said they decided they didn't want to come. Just like that, changed their minds. At a homeschool group, a daughter was handing out invitations to her birthday party. My dds were excited to accept. But, another girl, in front of her mother, said she would "show up if nothing better came up." I was stunned (and so was the mom hostessing the party). This type thing keeps happening. It is as if rudeness is not only acceptable, but preferred.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 HollyDay, if it would make your daughters feel better, that kind of stuff has been happening to me with moms for a couple of years now. People say they will come, then just do not show. No apologies, very few excuses. Needless to say, I don't plan anything very often anymore. That stuff never happened to me before, not even in junior high. I don't know what has changed... I was pretty hurt the first time it happened, I can't imagine being a kid and having that rudeness come from supposed friends. :grouphug: to your daughters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Some people suck. Truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Where, oh where, is Emily Post when you need her? :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Some events trump a child's birthday party if an invitation to them arrives after the kid party invitation does. But another child's party isn't one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 OP, ((hugs)) to your DD! One of DS's friends from church invited us to her Sweet 16 party a couple weeks ago. The party start time was delayed for an hour waiting on the friends she'd invited from school to show up. They went ahead and started the party, but only 1 school friend ever came. The other dozen or so kids were from church. She was hurt/sad/upset but, as DS had been through similar things himself, he took it as an opportunity to point out that the kids that were there were true friends; the others weren't. I think it's hard for us moms to see our kids learning this lesson so young, but maybe it's better to learn sooner than later so we/they know how not to treat others in long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 OP, ((hugs)) to your DD! One of DS's friends from church invited us to her Sweet 16 party a couple weeks ago. The party start time was delayed for an hour waiting on the friends she'd invited from school to show up. They went ahead and started the party, but only 1 school friend ever came. The other dozen or so kids were from church. She was hurt/sad/upset but, as DS had been through similar things himself, he took it as an opportunity to point out that the kids that were there were true friends; the others weren't. I think it's hard for us moms to see our kids learning this lesson so young, but maybe it's better to learn sooner than later so we/they know how not to treat others in long run. Your ds sounds like a sweet, caring, wonderful young man. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 It is as if rudeness is not only acceptable, but preferred.... My dh and I are constantly stunned by the level of rudeness and incivility that dd19's friends have shown in the years she was in high school. And I'm not talking about the "every generation thinks the newer generation is rude" thing. I mean the types of things we're discussing here: kids making plans and then completely failing to keep them, or being multiple hours late, or deciding that something better came up. It's absolutely unbelievable that these kids are either that rude or that self-centered or that un-parented that they think this type of thing is ok. My dh pointed out the other day that young people nowadays have been raised in the era of reality tv, and they apparently think that the relationships and interactions portrayed therein are the way they are supposed to act and are acceptable. It's crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 My dh and I are constantly stunned by the level of rudeness and incivility that dd19's friends have shown in the years she was in high school. And I'm not talking about the "every generation thinks the newer generation is rude" thing. I mean the types of things we're discussing here: kids making plans and then completely failing to keep them, or being multiple hours late, or deciding that something better came up. It's absolutely unbelievable that these kids are either that rude or that self-centered or that un-parented that they think this type of thing is ok. My dh pointed out the other day that young people nowadays have been raised in the era of reality tv, and they apparently think that the relationships and interactions portrayed therein are the way they are supposed to act and are acceptable. It's crazy.As a pp pointed out though, I have seen this same sort of behavior in the over 30 crowd in the past few years as well. I think someone's spiked the ultra exclusive sparkling diet water. Or my Granny is right and iPhones are giving everyone "the cancer" in the brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 As a pp pointed out though, I have seen this same sort of behavior in the over 30 crowd in the past few years as well. I think someone's spiked the ultra exclusive sparkling diet water. Or my Granny is right and iPhones are giving everyone "the cancer" in the brain. I do think it is something akin to ADHD and an almost altered sense of reality caused by being constantly on social networks on the mobile devices, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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