scrapbookbuzz Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I wanted to post something about my frustration of today. Couldn't think of a witty title for the Chat Board so came here in search of anyone having 'a day' like me. Then I saw the Learning Challenges titled and thought, " Does 'Learning Challenges' apply to Mom when she's having a frustrating day because she's challenged in 'learning' her kids?" I know it's bad grammar, on purpose. Just not liking this morning. Anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 Nadie? No one? Bueller? Bueller? 8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 LOL My ADHD boy forgot his pill this morning... Math is making me go nut-so with him. I'm about to tell him to shut the book and move on! I'm definitely "learning challenged" today because my skills in "learning my children" do not include listening to him sing through each long division problem with some long, obnoxious drawn out zombish voice... IDK what you would describe it as! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 LOL My ADHD boy forgot his pill this morning... Math is making me go nut-so with him. I'm about to tell him to shut the book and move on! I'm definitely "learning challenged" today because my skills in "learning my children" do not include listening to him sing through each long division problem with some long, obnoxious drawn out zombish voice... IDK what you would describe it as! Are you spying on us? My son's voice of choice is usually an accent though, not a zombie. Yes, it's a learning challenge too! My typically fine executive functioning skills are gone. I live with three people who have none and are like parasites on my own ability to think. 4 people with one set of EF skills is not a pretty sight. In all fairness, one is 5 years old, so he may still develop some skills in the future. Add to that the fact that hubby works very inconsistent shifts, and I have ZERO routine to fall back on. It's killing me. On an ugly note, I've read that some people who lack EF skills rely on their spouses to the point that the spouse starts to falter and flounder themselves. Then the affected spouse won't believe the neurotypical spouse when the neurotypical spouse says, "you need help with x and y." Shudder. I am trying to help my children see, own, and learn to work around their issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokea Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Well, I totally wigged out on my ds this morning. His writing was so poor while labelling a map. He has adhd with a very low processing score so I don't expect it to be perfect but I know he could do better. I told him that his poor writing 1. makes himself look bad 2. makes me look like a bad teacher 3. makes all of homeschooling look bad 4. makes grandma feel she's right that you should go to school and not homeschool The rest of his work was done in very nice handwriting. Why can he handwrite with no problems after I wig out?? Why can he behave (and appear to not have adhd) after I lose my temper with him?? It wasn't a great morning around here either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokea Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Well, I totally wigged out on my ds this morning. His writing was so poor while labelling a map. He has adhd with a very low processing score so I don't expect it to be perfect but I know he could do better. I told him that his poor writing 1. makes himself look bad 2. makes me look like a bad teacher 3. makes all of homeschooling look bad 4. makes grandma feel she's right that you should go to school and not homeschool The rest of his work was done in very nice handwriting. Why can he handwrite with no problems after I wig out?? Why can he behave (and appear to not have adhd) after I lose my temper with him?? It wasn't a great morning around here either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 Glad I'm not the only one! Can we blame it on a full moon? Sadly, I don't think there is another one just yet. Kbutton, your post made me chuckle. I know it doesn't feel very funny to you, being in the midst of it, but I can commiserate. My brain still hasn't accepted the message that it's not going to get anymore sleep until probably bedtime tonight. It keeps trying to make me do nothing but lay down to get some sleep. Can't concentrate on anything else! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Sorry...dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Sorry you are having a rough go today. A dark chocolate stash comes in handy for days like this. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Someone found and ate my dark chocolate stash. There was just an empty wrapper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Someone found and ate my dark chocolate stash. There was just an empty wrapper. Mine have done that as well. There are drawbacks to raising kids on good chocolate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Well, I totally wigged out on my ds this morning. His writing was so poor while labelling a map. He has adhd with a very low processing score so I don't expect it to be perfect but I know he could do better. I told him that his poor writing 1. makes himself look bad 2. makes me look like a bad teacher 3. makes all of homeschooling look bad 4. makes grandma feel she's right that you should go to school and not homeschool The rest of his work was done in very nice handwriting. Why can he handwrite with no problems after I wig out?? Why can he behave (and appear to not have adhd) after I lose my temper with him?? It wasn't a great morning around here either. Just because a dc can suck it in, expend extreme amounts of energy, and do something under duress for a short amount of time doesn't mean he can do that ALL the time for ALL his work. My dd's handwriting improved a percentage with VT, because part of the problem was vision. Her motor control is still not solid for writing, per the psych. Something clicked this past year (8th gr) just as I was about to totally give up, and overnight it improved radically. So what wasn't vision was developmental. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I had a moment with my ds the other day. I was soooo frustrated with his lack of effort. I went to my room to nap and wound up crying. Ds came in a little while later and asked why I was upset. I flipped that I was disappointed that he's willing to work for EVERYONE but me! He's not willing to try for his mother and it sucks. (Previously he'd been in speech, OT, PT, VT, and usually worked hard) He left my room and came back with the reading paper I was trying to get done. He read it perfectly and apologized saying that *maybe* he can read a little. I apologized for my tantrum and we moved on. (OhElizabeth- I completely understand the amount of work involved for my ds to read. My tantrum was that he puts in absolutely zero effort when working with me.) His lack of effort is not just academic related. It extends to all of life. It's "too hard" to switch the laundry. "Too hard" to put silverware away. "Too hard" to help clean his room. "Too hard" to put his already folded and paired socks and undies away. "Too hard" to strip his bed. Since my tantrum, he has been doing better with reading. Still frustrating, but at least he's not flat out refusing to LOOK AT THE PAPER! Hmmm. After posting this, I realized that we need to have a "boot camp" week with better goals and a better transition period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokea Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Just because a dc can suck it in, expend extreme amounts of energy, and do something under duress for a short amount of time doesn't mean he can do that ALL the time for ALL his work. My dd's handwriting improved a percentage with VT, because part of the problem was vision. Her motor control is still not solid for writing, per the psych. Something clicked this past year (8th gr) just as I was about to totally give up, and overnight it improved radically. So what wasn't vision was developmental. Well thanks. I felt like crap to begin with, now I feel even worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Why can he handwrite with no problems after I wig out?? Why can he behave (and appear to not have adhd) after I lose my temper with him?? Because the jolt of adrenaline he gets when you yell at him has the same effect as a stimulant, and helps him concentrate for a brief period, until it wears off. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 My typically fine executive functioning skills are gone. I live with three people who have none and are like parasites on my own ability to think. 4 people with one set of EF skills is not a pretty sight. This is my biggest complaint! I'm always telling them "You do not pay rent for that portion of my brain — make a list, set an alarm, write it on the calendar, do something other than just assuming that I will remember/fix/take care of that for you!!!" Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 This is my biggest complaint! I'm always telling them "You do not pay rent for that portion of my brain — make a list, set an alarm, write it on the calendar, do something other than just assuming that I will remember/fix/take care of that for you!!!" Jackie This sounds like an excellent topic for a whole other thread--how to help people set up systems that they can use so as to free others of being the reminder, rememberer, etc.! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Gosh, this thread mirrors my day! DS9 reads his math problems in silly voices, says everything is too hard, turns a 15 minute lesson into an hour, and often needs to have a meltdown before he can concentrate on his work. I have learned to stay calm, but it sure eats into my day. At least now I know that the meltdowns serve a purpose and act to stimulate his brain so he can concentrate. Thanks for the insights! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 This sounds like an excellent topic for a whole other thread--how to help people set up systems that they can use so as to free others of being the reminder, rememberer, etc.! There is an executive functioning thread running now too, but it's not necessarily as specific as what we are looking for here, I think. Mostly book recommendations, which aren't as helpful if the people needing them don't really see the point. I'll ponder starting another thread with some specific questions unless I see another pop up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I treat complaining as "silly back talk." Any kind of back talk from a child has a consequence in my home. MIL is a retired elementary teacher/reading specialist. She worked for 11 years overseas at an international school and taught many children to read. Several of these children came from homes where multiple languages were spoken. After coming back to the US, she taught at a public school in northern CA filled with neglected, underprivileged, and impoverished children. This woman has seen a lot. Ages ago, I ask how to stop bad habits and form new good habits with kids in a classroom environment. MIL told me to identify one thing that was problematic. Only one thing. Sit down with the child and let them know that the behavior has to change. Put a plan in place to handle the bad behavior and any consequences. Go over the rule with the child, have the child repeat back the rule, and have them sign a contract. Enforce the rule using positive reinforcement (praise and stickers) and consequences (no tv, no computer,...whatever works your child). Do not reward misbehavior. Follow this procedure as long as it takes and actively include any adult who deals directly with your child. After one problem is eliminated, move on to another issue. Wash, rinse, repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Well, I totally wigged out on my ds this morning. His writing was so poor while labelling a map. He has adhd with a very low processing score so I don't expect it to be perfect but I know he could do better. I told him that his poor writing 1. makes himself look bad 2. makes me look like a bad teacher 3. makes all of homeschooling look bad 4. makes grandma feel she's right that you should go to school and not homeschool The rest of his work was done in very nice handwriting. Why can he handwrite with no problems after I wig out?? Why can he behave (and appear to not have adhd) after I lose my temper with him?? :grouphug: ------------------ :grouphug: ------------- :grouphug: ------------ :grouphug: ----------- :grouphug: ---------- :grouphug: You are allowed an occasional slip-up or a yell and make up session every once in a while. No long term consequences, so long as you don't make a habit of going to bed angry with your kids or allowing them to go to bed emotionally upset. :) You are a human being too. I was the screw up kid in my family and I don't love my parents any less for their less than perfect discipline techniques. They have grown and changed and are better parents know then they were then, in the same way that I am a more responsible, easier to get along with type person. Sometimes kids need a jolt to get them to 'straighten up' and kids are pretty resilient to the day to day 'family friction' or 'mommy meltdowns'. Its okay, really. :grouphug: .-- --I recommend ice cream or peanut butter for this type of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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