Daily schedule for the early years?

[beth83]

We watch too much tv. There I said it.

 

What does your daily schedule look like? I yearn for the time when my kids are older and we are preoccupied with school work. I mean, I'm not talking about even 6 hours a day - I'm talking about more than 30 minutes to an hour.

 

We live in Texas and it is still too miserable to play outside, the mosquitos have been horrible, plus I'm 13 weeks pregnant. We don't have money to enroll in lots of extracurriculars. Although we have toys, we are still minimalists (maybe because of money?) so I feel they lost interest quickly with what we have.

 

Although I know homeschooling will provide them with the foundation I want, I sometimes feel bad they aren't in MDO. I feel they would be so much more enriched there with all that play time, the cool toys, and the nurturing teachers. I'm just not one of those get down on ground and play for hours type of mom.

 

We are tied up with CC one day, Bible study one day, and MOPS every other week, but i still feel like I'm failing the days we are home. So what do you do with your preschoolers all day?!?

[nature girl]

I'll be interested to see the answers (and I'm prepared to feel bad as well!) I'm lucky for now because I only have one (3.5yo), so can more or less follow her interests and dedicate all my free time to her. She just started preschool 3 mornings/week, so that'll eat into some of her time. We have library story times 1-2 times a week, and other than that we spend probably 75% of our time doing imaginary play, going on walks or at the playground, and a lot of the rest of our time reading together. I try to schedule at least one project a day (art or science) but that doesn't happen if she's not into it. She's also sporadically into workbooks, and we've spent time on Critical Thinking Skills, Kumon books and other fun-type workbooks. She's starting to read on her own now, so we spend about 15 minutes a day (which is all she can stand at this point) working through easy readers. But really I mostly just wing it and do whatever she's into at the moment. She really doesn't spend much time with her toys at all, other than using them for imaginary play. She'd much rather play with loose parts than all the legos/blocks/puzzles I've spent hundreds on!

[coffeegal]

My littles have a fairly simple schedule.

 

Get up, dress, free play

Breakfast

Free play

Outside w/ big brother

Reading w/ big sister

My 4 yo and I do phonics, while my 2 yo plays with his 10 yo brother. She joins them after 10 minutes or so.

Lunch

Quiet Time

Play with another sibling

Free time or an outing

Dinner

Watch TV

Bath

Bed

 

I do rotate their toys, so each week the tots have different toys to play with. I also enjoy rotating the arts & crafts as well. One week we'll work with play dough, the next it's water colors, and the third it's coloring activities or finger painting. :001_smile:

[Jackie]

I work three days a week and my daughter is in preschool two of those, with her father the other. For the four days a week she is primarily with me:

 

Get up, eat, bathe, dress. She likes to play in the bath, so this takes much more time than you are probably imagining. She is in there so long I've started adding bath paints or science demonstrations involving water to this time. She is allowed to watch one tv show while DH and I are getting ready for the day.

 

Sometime during each day we find time for me to read aloud to her, her to read aloud to me (it was working on letter recognition and letter sounds before she was reading), number/math activities, some form of science demonstration or experiment or observation, some form of art, and some worksheets from Kumon fine motor skill books and Critical Thinking Company. This is all surrounded by lots of playing, especially imaginary play.

 

On Wednesdays, we usually go to the children's science museum and to a dance class. Fridays, to the library and spend time in their play room. Sundays and Mondays are at home or maybe to a park; we often do a baking project together on one of these days.

[beth83]

It wasn't at all like this with one child.  I just can't figure out three so close together.  They are all going in different directions and none are old enough to really preoccupy a younger sibling.  Soon, though.  All my friends have been telling me that changes everything, when at least one can help more.  

 

And many of you are mentioning time outside.  Some day soon, in a month maybe.  When it is park weather, we usually spend 3 hours, easily, at the park a day.  Problem is, right now in Texas, we are sweating just walking out to our car.  :(

 

We traveled to Oregon last week and I was dreaming at how better life would be in a different state.  We are outside people and LOVE nature, but this current locale kills us for about 6 months during the year.

 

 

[lea_lpz]

Most days:

 

Kids get up at 7 am and do chores, get dressed and brush their teeth while I make coffee and make dh lunch and breakfast for kids

 

I brush their hair and they have about 15 minutes to eat

 

We start school at 8 am and do Bible, our daily drills (calendar, weather chart, # of day, poetry & chore chart), and read alouds

 

At 9 am my preschooler gets a break and I work for 30 min one on one with my 1st grader and then we switch

 

10 am we have a snack and break

 

10:30-11:30 we do Spanish and a rotation of history, science, arts & crafts, etc.

 

11:30-12 I work one on one with my 1st grader again

 

12-1: make lunch, eat, tidy up, read alouds

 

1-3: nap

 

3:30: snack

 

Afternoons are free except we have AHG one afternoon a week from 4-6. We also have AWANA one evening a week from 7-8:30 but that still leaves the afternoon free. One morning a week we have a co-op from 9-12. That is school for the day and we come home and do our typical afternoon routine.

 

I feel like this is more than enough to have them stay busy.

 

I like to have allotments of unstructured time for them. They typically play outside with neighborhood kids or play with their toys for the afternoon while I do housework and make dinner.

 

I try to not have them watch tv until after dinner when we watch family shows or movies. I feel like once they watch tv during breaks they come back to school time less focused and if they watch tv in the afternoons they end up having little interest in doing anything else.

 

Can't say it never happens but I try to make it the exception and not the norm, for days I just don't feel too hot :)

[strange_girl]

I have a 5 (almost six now), a 4, and a 1-year-old...so I definitely feel your pain!

 

Honestly, I don't provide my kids with a lot of 'free time'. Wanna know why? Because they fight, and whine and bicker incessantly if they have nothing to do. So I keep them busy.

 

We live in Maine, and right now is some of the best weather of the year here. So we have been spending a lot of time outside. Bt we also lose 5-6 months a year to freezing cold and drifts of snow :(.

 

This is loosely what our day looks like:

7 am: everyone up, fed, dressed.

8 am: chores. These include feeding the dog, cats, chickens, and letting the chickens out for the day. Everyone clears their own dishes from the table (except the 1-year-old, of course...that would be messy).

Around 8:45: baby goes down for morning nap and we start school. I take turns alternating between the two older ones. One does math while the other plays with Legos and then the other does math, etc. This lasts until approximately 11.

11-12 : kids play outside.

12pm: lunch.

12:30-1:30: play time with daddy. DH works nights so this is their time with him.

1:30-2:30: quiet time. I don't care who sleeps and who reads, but for an hour it is quiet in my house. I would go insane if this did not happen on a regular basis.

2:30: snack.

2:45-4:00: reading, finishing up any school that did not happen in the morning.

4-5:30: playing outside, working in the garden (that's almost done now), bike riding, or sometimes inside doing choses like picking up bedrooms, etc.

5:30: dinner.

6-7: cleaning up, bathing (sometimes), brushing teeth, reading together, getting jammies on, getting ready for bed.

7: in bed. Older two generally read for about an hour but then they sack out for the night.

[ondreeuh]

Although I know homeschooling will provide them with the foundation I want, I sometimes feel bad they aren't in MDO. I feel they would be so much more enriched there with all that play time, the cool toys, and the nurturing teachers. I'm just not one of those get down on ground and play for hours type of mom.

 

 

Why don't you want your kids to go to a mother's day out program? Look - I totally understand the desire to homeschool and have control over your child's education. But if the MDO program can provide something your kids need and you aren't able to meet that need yourself, then why is it a bad thing to use it? If the choices are fun-filled "daycare" or staying inside and watching too much TV, then why not choose daycare?

 

I want my kid to get some organized athletics. Sure, I could take him to the pool and teach him to swim myself, or take him to the field and teach him how to kick a soccer ball around, but I don't particularly desire to do that, so it won't happen. I can pay for lessons/clubs, and it will happen. It doesn't have to be a difficult choice.

 

I have oodles of books, craft materials, toys, and games in my house. None of them keep my 5 year-old kid busy unless I am actively engaged with him. I don't have a ton of spare time or energy to do that. There's no shame IMO in outsourcing some of that play. Don't be a martyr and think that homeschooling means you are the only one who can teach your child. Give yourself a break - let your kid have the fun experience (think of it like day camp!) and enjoy your rest.

[Korrale]

Our schedule is a little off to most because my husband works second shift. So we do everything later than most. I only have a 3 year old. And sometimes a 1 year old I watch.

Times are approximate.

 

9am: Get up and give my son breakfast. If he is awake before 9 he will read or play by himself until I get up. We shower.

 

10am: About 3-4 days of the week we do an activity out of the house. Be it StoryTime, gymnastics, science class or just the park. The activities are only an hour or so long. But we walk there and home, that takes at least another hour from our day. Walking times are filled with a lot of discussion about what we read, how we conduct ourselves in public by using manners. Observing the world around us.

The days we stay home I will put on a math or science show and we cuddle up and watch that. Then we do an activity relating to that show. My son recently watched some shows about mammals and did an "essay" by dictating. But most of the time I am lazy in the mornings. And the TV stays off and he plays cars or trains or puzzles of playdoh or he build contraptions.

 

12pm: Daddy wakes and my son and him play their special games. Legos, trains, cars, hiding, monsters dun dun hands? Weird stuff. :) . They go for a walk and pay outside for a bit.

 

1pm: We have lunch. Sometimes at home, sometimes out.

 

1:30pm: We have reading time. This is often an hour or so long. We read about a lot of subjects. We are able go over history, geography, grammar, science and more durning this reading time. We read many picture books, living math, fairy tales and poetry too. My son reads quite well so I don't really need to instruct him anymore. And if i do i explain the phonetic rules as we read. We take turns reading aloud to each other. Just because he can read does not mean I let him read everything himself. I should note he will often read by himself urging his free play time.

 

2:30pm about this time my son goes down for his nap. It is extremely rare for him not to nap. If he doesnt, he gets an hour quiet time in his room. Now I get time to do chores, set aside activities, cruise the Internet. Do any prep for dinner. Most days I watch my neighbor's 1 year old boy and he comes over at about this time and stays until late in the evening.

 

5pm: My son wakes up. When I have 2 boys. We play outside. We have dinner. After dinner I let the kids watch some nursery rhymes, while we have out little dance party and do a little music lesson. When it is just my son, he helps me cook dinner. He reads the recipes, helps with any measuing, cutting. Then he helps me clean up. He wants so badly to wash the dishes and i promised he can start heling me do that this week. We bake scones or bickes once a week. We also run a mile together after dinner has settled. Have a shower when we get home

 

7pm: Learning Time, quiet time. I focus on teaching a few things to the littlest boy if I have him. Shapes, colors, body parts, letters, numbers etc. Then we read books. My son reads to the little one. We sing some lullabies.

 

8-9pm The Little one is in bed. This is our more intense learning and PRT time. And a little bit of seat work. We do math instruction and work on handwriting. Coloring, cutting, etc. We play board games a lot during these times.

 

10pm: End of the day another hour or so of reading, cuddle time. And then my son goes to bed. And my neighour picks up her boy at 11pm. If my husband isn't working late (very rarely) my son gets to read with him before he goes to sleep.

 

11:30pm: Me time! I turn the TV on and stream a few shows, I do a short intense crossfit style work out. I read and research a lot! I plan activities. I chat with online and real life friends. And I am in bed by about 3am when my husband goes to bed and we go to sleep.

 

Voila!

[abba12]

My schedule looks a little different because from the beginning I have encouraged a lot of free, unstructured, independent play. I have doubted myself about this at times, seeing other mums with their full schedules and hands on times, but I am seeing some good results and it fits with our parenting goals. One reason it works so well for us is that we did this from the start, we never had to wean her off being entertained without effort, so my daughter does not get bored. Having said that, I'm not sure what it will be like when little sister gets added to the mix. Arguments? Maybe...

 

We rotate toys regularly. I can't recommend this enough for keeping little ones from getting bored.

 

This month has been way off, because of health issues, so I am going to post the schedule we aim for instead. Of course, days with little ones never actually look like this, but this is our goal. I find regularly throwing in short activities, instead of having big blocks, helps keep direction and avoids troublemaking while stopping a lot of the whining and attention seeking. We also don't use times, it's more of a routine and a 'do the next thing' approach, the times just give a guideline to time spent

 

5:30am - Daddy leaves for work

7:00am - Wake up, breakfast, free play

8:00am - Get dressed, bible reading/character time, christian read aloud time, dancing/singing time

8:45am - 'Room time' and then free play (mummy shower and chore time)

9:30am - 'Preschool' time with older, and individual attention time with baby, the way this works varies.

10:30am - Free play, outside if possible (mummy online time)

11:30am - TV time while eating lunch

12:30pm - Fun read aloud time, naptime (mummy nap or mummy work time)

2:30pm - Wake up time, outside or freeplay

3:30pm - Daddy comes home. 

Once daddy comes home things vary a lot. Bedtime is about 7:30-8pm, and includes a classics read aloud time.

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

You have a lot of little kids and your pregnant.  That's really hard, I think it's fair to admit that!  When I was pregnant with my 3rd, my other kids watched more tv.  It happens. 

 

One thing my kids like is to watch an episoe of Curious George, then they try to repeat whatever the little activity is at the end of the episode. 

 

Their ability to keep themselves entertained has really progressed in the last couple of years, so there is hope! 

 

Our schedule looks like this:

 

- Wake up, breakfast, get dressed, free play

- maybe run an errand.

- 30 minutes of school (table work like handwriting and grammar) while baby colors or does playdough

- free play

- lunch, put baby down for nap

- 1-2 hours of school- we hit our biggest "mom intensive" subjects- math, phonics/reading, French (we're bilingual homeshcoolers).  I trade off between the two big kids and the one who is not working with me is usually looking at books, coloring, or doing lego. 

- baby up, snacks, free play

- history audio CD and coloring page 1x week

- dinner, baby in bed

- Read alouds, strategy games (checkers, etc.), bed

- oldest listens to an audio book or past SOTW chapters for another half hour or so. 

I play very little with my kids.  I think they need to develop the habit of playing alone or with siblings.  I try to keep toys around that have a lot of mileage- blocks, legos, wooden trains, and ikea kitchn toys are what get used every single day.  We also have a few dolls and stuffed animals, a marble run, and play silks/scarves that get used at least once a week.  We also go through A LOT of paper.  I mean A LOT.  My kids have free access to paper, colored pencils, markers, scissors, tape and glue, and holy smokes, my kids eat up the scotch tape!!! 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Also, because I don't like to play with my kids, these are the alternative ways that I interact with them (aside form yelling at them that if they keep fighting over XYZ it's going in the garbage... hahaha):

- discuss their creations (I try not to compliment things blindly but to ask questions)

- have them help me with chores or in the kitchen (they are still at an age where they like this)

- read to them

- play games (our current faves are Uno, Skippity, and Checkers)

 

On rare occasions, I will make an appearance at a doll's birthday party.  :-) 

[boscopup]

I didn't really have a schedule when mine were that age (they're all 2.5 years apart). Your older two should be able to play together and entertain each other. I just included the kids in housework and otherwise had them playing on their own. They all self-entertain really well now, which is handy during school when the oldest kid has 4ish hours of school and the youngest isn't doing official school yet. At that age, my kids had afternoon nap time, and they are good sleepers, so that was often close to 3 hours.

 

The big thing is to turn the TV off. The first few days (or week or two) will be tough, as the kids are trying to figure out what to do when bored. But if you let them figure it out, they will eventually come up with something and learn to imaginative play more.

 

Kids don't need cool preschool toys. They need to have parents that allow them to imagine on their own without a toy or TV telling them what to do. My DH was telling me just the other day that when my oldest is hanging around in the lobby of the ice skating rink during his brothers' classes, it amazes the other parents that he is able to figure out what to do when there is hardly anything to do! He plays. He's not given money for the video games or anything. He has to imagine and play on his own. He has no trouble doing this, wherever he is. When he was little, I didn't direct his play. I let him play on his own. I'd sometimes play along - like when he plays restaurant and asks me what my order is, but I didn't say, "Let's go play xyz!" and play with him. I left it up to him. And now he has a fabulous ability to play on his own wherever he is, turning anything into a toy. All of my kids are able to do this, and I truly think it's because I didn't direct them.

[wendyroo]

I have three boys - a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn.

 

My big boys wake up at 7am.  By then I have already been up for a couple hours, showered, dressed, eaten breakfast, emptied the dishwasher and started the washer.

 

Between 7 and 7:30 they do their morning chores and get dressed while I make their breakfast.  At 7:30 they sit down to eat and I wake and nurse the baby.

 

By 8:30 they have finished eating, tidied the table, washed hands and faces, gone potty and brushed teeth.

 

From 8:30 to 9:30 we have "learning time."  We do FIAR activities, art projects, playdoh, etc.  I try very hard to keep both the 2 and 4 year old engaged in our activity.  I don't care if the 2 year old is driving the crayons around like cars instead of coloring with them, but he must stay with us and not be off causing havoc.

 

At 9:30 we have a quick snack and then the older boys either go up to play in their rooms or go outside.  If we need to run an errand this is when we do it.

 

Noon is lunch and then the 2 year old goes up for his nap at 1.  The 4 year old has 30 minutes of computer time and then I read to him for 30 minutes before he goes up for "rest time" at 2.

 

Both older boys get up at 3:30 and have a snack and then we do a few chores together.  If the weather is half way decent we often go outside to play until DH gets home between 4:30 and 5.

 

They play with DH while I make dinner, then we eat around 5:30.  By 6:30 we are getting them ready for bed and by 7 we are reading to them.  Lights out by 7:30 and they are both asleep by 8. 

 

Wendy

 

[carriede]

Also, because I don't like to play with my kids, these are the alternative ways that I interact with them (aside form yelling at them that if they keep fighting over XYZ it's going in the garbage... hahaha):

- discuss their creations (I try not to compliment things blindly but to ask questions)

- have them help me with chores or in the kitchen (they are still at an age where they like this)

- read to them

- play games (our current faves are Uno, Skippity, and Checkers)

 

On rare occasions, I will make an appearance at a doll's birthday party. :-)

I'm surprised to hear you admit that you don't like playing with your kids. Isn't every parent supposed to prefer playing to chores or other tasks? I always feel bad when I don't want to sit and play duplos or dinosaurs or babies or race cars. My friends always talk about how all they want to do is just PLAY with their kids. I seem yo have the time but don't WANT to, and I get confused.

 

Now I'm even more confused and somewhat relieved to see someone else feels the same!

 

To OP,

My two entertain each other a LOT right now. But I know that if I start letting them watch more TV, the only way I can get them out of that is to engage them more myself. But I'm an introvert and need to be able to take time for myself so I'm not snapping at everyone! It's hard, and your not the only one having this problem.

[wendyroo]

I'm surprised to hear you admit that you don't like playing with your kids. Isn't every parent supposed to prefer playing to chores or other tasks? I always feel bad when I don't want to sit and play duplos or dinosaurs or babies or race cars. My friends always talk about how all they want to do is just PLAY with their kids. I seem yo have the time but don't WANT to, and I get confused.

 

Now I'm even more confused and somewhat relieved to see someone else feels the same!

 

I rarely play with my children.  I talk with them, cuddle with them, cook with them, read to them, do learning activities with them, go on walks with them, do crafts with them. let them help with chores, sing and dance with them, etc.  I spend most of every day interacting with them, but other than an occasional board game or puzzle I don't really get down on the floor and play with them.

 

You want my help using the sewing machine to make yourself a super hero cape?  I'm your gal.  You want me to sit on the floor and "play cars"?  I'd rather have a root canal.

 

Wendy

[Soror]

Let me try to remember, when I had a 5yo, 2-3yo and baby. We started the day around 7, although I was generally up earlier myself. I worked on breakfast and we did chores until 9am. At 9 am we started the day w/ a huge stacks of read-alouds, usually at least an hrs worth. WE did some singing and fingerplays a lot of times too. It was good start b/c we could sit on the couch and nurse while reading. After reading a lot of times we would go outside for a nature walk but sometimes this was the afternoon- it changed depending on the time of year. Sometimes we walked straight away if it was a hot day. AFter read-alouds and walk if we were doing that in the am I would work on skills, phonics and writing and some game for math. WE didn't have a particular order for these activities. Lunch was generally around noon and we would do some clean up then and chores. I would let the kids watch some kind of educational show after lunch so I could rest and nurse on the couch. AFter our quiet/rest time we would generally spend time outside or such or they would just have free play time while I worked on supper.

[mom2bee]

Institute a few policies. I find "No TV before 1pm" helps get the day off to a good start.

Also "No more than 2 hours of TV/videos daily" helps also

Get up and go out early, before the heat is unbearable, supervise the kids as they play in the yard for a bit before breakfast (you could even have breakfast outside)

Go to the library 1x a week and check out as many books as possible.

Get a few DVD's at the library and watch ONE every day or every other day.

Go on youtube and make playlist of games, songs, chants, and a few cartoons.

---Count both of the above in you alloted TV time.

 

Don't have all toys accessible at one time. Rotate toys every couple of weeks so that kids have fewer options and can engage more with the toys that they have.

Go through the house and gather all the kids books and toys that just aren't getting used and donate them. Weeding out the "junk" stuff will also help thin out the toys and remind your kids to play with all their old favorites.

Does your church have a kids stuff swap meet type thing? I don't know what the name of it is but people bring kids clothes, toys, books etc that theirs have outgrown or no longer use and allow others to get what they need from them without any money. I think everyone has to bring a few items though.

That way you can get some new-to-you items for the kids to play with

Go to the thrift store and pick up used books, toys, clothes (for dress up)

Get a sprinkler to put in the yard.

Teach your kids some new board games.

Get puzzles, board games and simple books.

Get books on tape.

Get craft kits.

 

Personally, I don't like playing with kids that much either. Maybe 1 or 2 times a week is fine, but I don't like playing dolls, duplos, dinosaurs and I can't see myself doing it on the daily.

I prefer to read with and to them, talk with them, cuddle or tickle with them, take them on walks, give them baths, help them to help me (ie taking the time to teach them how to help out in the kitchen and with daily chores and then cleaning up along side of them instead of FOR them), cook with them, sit down to meals with them. I would spend some time just looking out the window and observing. Talk with the kids about what they see and what you see. Play I Spy, for 5-10 minutes every other day for a couple of weeks eventually your kids will be able to play without you.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I'm surprised to hear you admit that you don't like playing with your kids. Isn't every parent supposed to prefer playing to chores or other tasks? I always feel bad when I don't want to sit and play duplos or dinosaurs or babies or race cars. My friends always talk about how all they want to do is just PLAY with their kids. I seem yo have the time but don't WANT to, and I get confused.

 

Now I'm even more confused and somewhat relieved to see someone else feels the same!

 

To OP,

My two entertain each other a LOT right now. But I know that if I start letting them watch more TV, the only way I can get them out of that is to engage them more myself. But I'm an introvert and need to be able to take time for myself so I'm not snapping at everyone! It's hard, and your not the only one having this problem.

 

 

I rarely play with my children.  I talk with them, cuddle with them, cook with them, read to them, do learning activities with them, go on walks with them, do crafts with them. let them help with chores, sing and dance with them, etc.  I spend most of every day interacting with them, but other than an occasional board game or puzzle I don't really get down on the floor and play with them.

 

You want my help using the sewing machine to make yourself a super hero cape?  I'm your gal.  You want me to sit on the floor and "play cars"?  I'd rather have a root canal.

 

Wendy

 

I was a very imaginative child, and I consider myself to be an imaginative adult, but the two expressions are very different.  Playing "cars" or "dolls" or whatever is MIND NUMBING to me.  There is an adult in my family who shall remain nameless who LOVES to sit down with children and play playdough, and she gets even more into it than the kids.  More power to her.  But I can't stand it!!!  I honestly think the whole "parent as playmate" is a very recent event in human development.  100 years ago, a parent with enough free time to play with her kids would be a rare thing! 

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with people who DO enjoy playing with their kids, but I'm just not among them!  I LOVE doing school work with my kids, I happily tolerate "help" in the kitchen, but I will run screaming from "Mommy lets play castle."

[Korrale]

gwenem, on 12 Sept 2013 - 09:01 AM, said:

I'm surprised to hear you admit that you don't like playing with your kids. Isn't every parent supposed to prefer playing to chores or other tasks? I always feel bad when I don't want to sit and play duplos or dinosaurs or babies or race cars. My friends always talk about how all they want to do is just PLAY with their kids. I seem yo have the time but don't WANT to, and I get confused.

 

Now I'm even more confused and somewhat relieved to see someone else feels the same!

 

To OP,

My two entertain each other a LOT right now. But I know that if I start letting them watch more TV, the only way I can get them out of that is to engage them more myself. But I'm an introvert and need to be able to take time for myself so I'm not snapping at everyone! It's hard, and your not the only one having this problem.

 

 

wendyroo, on 12 Sept 2013 - 09:24 AM, said:

I rarely play with my children. I talk with them, cuddle with them, cook with them, read to them, do learning activities with them, go on walks with them, do crafts with them. let them help with chores, sing and dance with them, etc. I spend most of every day interacting with them, but other than an occasional board game or puzzle I don't really get down on the floor and play with them.

 

You want my help using the sewing machine to make yourself a super hero cape? I'm your gal. You want me to sit on the floor and "play cars"? I'd rather have a root canal.

 

Wendy

 

I was a very imaginative child, and I consider myself to be an imaginative adult, but the two expressions are very different. Playing "cars" or "dolls" or whatever is MIND NUMBING to me. There is an adult in my family who shall remain nameless who LOVES to sit down with children and play playdough, and she gets even more into it than the kids. More power to her. But I can't stand it!!! I honestly think the whole "parent as playmate" is a very recent event in human development. 100 years ago, a parent with enough free time to play with her kids would be a rare thing!

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with people who DO enjoy playing with their kids, but I'm just not among them! I LOVE doing school work with my kids, I happily tolerate "help" in the kitchen, but I will run screaming from "Mommy lets play castle."

 

 

"

Yes! It is a very recent development. And I feel something that is a little pushed upon us by toy companies. Yes there are metits go play. But i also believe kids play best when they are making their own rules and not being entertained. My mother was not ta playmate mother either. She did stuff with us. Taught us things and was a stay at home mum. So she was there all the time when we needed her. And I think she was an awesome mum and role model.

 

I do play with my son.... But not really in the ways that people think of with dolls and cars and stuff. If he brings me a pretend meal that he cooked I will pretend eat it and comment. I will play interactive board games. But mostly I will use toys are teaching aids. We go for walks together, we cook together, we clean the house together. That is how we hangout and "play" mostly.

I am his mother, not his playmate. There is little distinction now. But I don't want there to be confusion as he gets older.

 

We only have simple toys in our house, we avoid batterie operated toys. And I give my son a lot of free, by himself, playtime. With no background TV. I would ask if he wants to listen to some music while he plays and he will tell me that he just wants to enjoy the birds chirping outside.

So fun I have never had to deal with him being bored or needing my attention.

[Rachel]

My kids are the same ages as yours.  Before my oldest started kindergarten this year our schedule was:

• Wake up 7-8ish
• Breakfast
• Chores -empty dishwasher, make beds, get dressed for the older 2
• Playtime/ baby naps- outside even if hot or cold, just limit time to 15 minutes in extreme weather
• Lunch 11:30 ish
• Reading time and some playtime
• Naps (or rest time for 5 year old), 1-3
• Playtime
• Supper
• Reading time
• Bed- 7:30

A couple times a week after lunch we go to the library, Y, grocery shopping, or park.  Once a week we have bible study in the morning.  I usually try to fit a walk in every day too, but it just kind of depends on how the baby has napped as to when we go.  It actually happens 3-4 times a week.  Now that we are doing school, our schedule is pretty much the same but instead of playtime in the morning we do school.

 

I don't entertain my kids, I interact with them, but it is rare that I get on the floor and play with them.  If they are having trouble getting along, they go play in separate rooms for 30 minutes, we call it alone time playing.  We don't have a lot of toys but they do have of Legos & Duplos, hotwheel type cars, a train table, a play kitchen, and other random things.  I keep most of the toys out of sight  in a couple of tubs, and every so often pull out one they haven't seen in awhile, they will play with those for hours!  They also spend a lot of time drawing and making stuff out of boxes.  They play with playdough or paint some, but since they aren't good at cleaning it up themselves, in only comes out a few times a month.

I get that it is really hot in TX, we live in the south, spent a week in TX at the end of June, and spent a few days in LA in August.  We still went outside though.  Kids don't care as much about the heat, if you keep it brief.  Can you let them run through the sprinkler or play in a kiddie pool or do you have water restrictions?  I'd suggest go outside first thing when it isn't as hot, and spray the kids with bug spray if the mosquitoes are that bad.  I know heat is worse when you are pregnant, so if you are uncomfortable, send them to the backyard for 20 minutes.  You can stay near a window to keep an eye on them if it makes you uncomfortable, but at least you'll be in the a/c.

 

My kids love to "help" me cook so usually one of the older ones is with me whenever I am preparing a meal.  I have them dump things in, do some measuring, get utensils, and even crack the eggs (when I'm not in a hurry).  It takes twice as long to cook this way, but they really enjoy it and I like it much better than playing Legos or cars.

[MinivanMom]

When my oldest was a kindergartner we always followed a structured routine, not a schedule but a routine. I planned outside play for first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening when it was cooler. We also had a firm no tv rule. I would bend it when I was morning-sick or late in pregnancy, but bending it meant letting the kids watch a 90 min video in the late afternoon while I took a nap on the couch next to them. Since we normally didn't watch any tv, they were mesmerized and would sit silently for the movie. Our routine looked like this when my oldest was a kindergartner (plus a preschooler, toddler, & I was pregnant):

 

7 am- Wake, breakfast, send the kids outside to play before it gets too hot.

9 am - Preschooler and toddler play together while I do schoolwork with the kindergartner.

10:30 - We do our daily outing (M-Groceries, T-Library, W-Appointment w/midwife, Th-Museum or Zoo, Fr-Park)

12:00 - Lunch

1:00 - Quiet time (toddler & preschooler nap while kindergartner reads)

3:00 - Snack time

3:30 - Kids watch video while I doze on my left side (except on Tue when kindergartner had dance class)

5:00 - I cook dinner while the kids play outside

5:45 - Eat dinner

6:15 - Bedtime routine & stories

7:00 - Bedtime

 

Our schedule is similar now, but with more big kids thrown into the balance and fewer outings.  When you look at it there really isn't that much time where they are expected to just play on their own with toys. I don't play with them; I have always expected them to play on their own or with each other. I will get down on the floor to read with them, but I don't think they should need me to direct their play. I do help them keep their toys organized and I help them rotate toys they haven't been playing with into a more visible spot so that they remember those other toys are there. 

[beth83]

Could they play outside in early morning or after dark ?  Here's the heat index chart:

 

When mine were preschoolers, they spent the first hour of the morning with me, talking,  preparing bkfast, etc, then they were off to play while I did my chores. They were back later to converse more although sometimes they would give me a hand. We'd go for a walk or trike ride daily.  I don't play so much as be an audience for shows and a partner for developing language. If I had some time, I'd sort legos and get them talking or play board games with them or show them some playground games.

 

Wow -- While I really appreciate this, I'm thinking you haven't experienced summer weather in Texas, which can last into October.  At 7pm tonight, we are still in the "caution" zone, bordering right on "danger."  Plus, the mosquitos are horrible, no matter how much we douse ourself with bug spray.  They eat my oldest alive.  The morning is out because I am having the worst morning sickness.  

 

Hopefully in a month, we won't be having these same problems.  We just run out of things to do for the month when the pool closes and the park is still not doable.  

[beth83]

Thank you all for the suggestions!  On average, we watch 2-3 hours a day, which is still more than I want.  I was talking to a friend today who reminded me to ease up on myself.  Morning sickness doesn't last forever.  

 

There are some good things here that I am going to try to implement!

[Korrale]

We do play outside during the summers. Even when it is humid and hot. We take extra caution. We play in the shade in the evenings, with water. Even if it is just me squirting the kids with the hose. We have easy access to ice water also.

I grew up in the tropics and was acclimated to much worse than TX heat. I now live in the northern US. Winter is harder for me to get out. So we do hibernate a bit. But I bundle us up and try, even if it is for a short stint. And spring is often wet, not my cuppa tea. But my son loves rain walks and puddle jumping.

 

 

And Beth, I agree with your friend. You have to right to ease up on yourself. :) My pregnancy was rough, so I know how bad it can be. I know people who do a lot more than 2-3 hours of TV. So in the grand scheme of things, it could be way worse.

If you still feel the guilt nibbling why not try and screen for the best high quality educational content. My son watches Math and science shows. He also loves this show about grammar that he is learning a lot from. We don't have cable TV but use discovery streaming or library DVDs mostly.

[abba12]

Thank you all for the suggestions!  On average, we watch 2-3 hours a day, which is still more than I want.  I was talking to a friend today who reminded me to ease up on myself.  Morning sickness doesn't last forever.  

 

There are some good things here that I am going to try to implement!

 

I missed the fact you were pregnant. If you're suffering morning sickness, and the kids are ONLY watching 2-3 hours a day, I am impressed! We have an hour at lunch and often an hour in the evening and I am not even pregnant. You could do a lot worse during morning sickness than that. Just try to find good quality TV shows, so they aren't wasting time completely on mindless shows (blues clues, leapfrog, art shows, magic school bus, horrible histories, etc) but I think that is quite acceptable. Not ideal, but acceptable.

 

 

 

I don't entertain my kids, I interact with them, but it is rare that I get on the floor and play with them.  If they are having trouble getting along, they go play in separate rooms for 30 minutes, we call it alone time playing.  We don't have a lot of toys but they do have of Legos & Duplos, hotwheel type cars, a train table, a play kitchen, and other random things.  I keep most of the toys out of sight  in a couple of tubs, and every so often pull out one they haven't seen in awhile, they will play with those for hours!  They also spend a lot of time drawing and making stuff out of boxes.  They play with playdough or paint some, but since they aren't good at cleaning it up themselves, in only comes out a few times a month.

 

Also, because I don't like to play with my kids, these are the alternative ways that I interact with them (aside form yelling at them that if they keep fighting over XYZ it's going in the garbage... hahaha):

 

Isn't every parent supposed to prefer playing to chores or other tasks? I always feel bad when I don't want to sit and play duplos or dinosaurs or babies or race cars. My friends always talk about how all they want to do is just PLAY with their kids. I seem yo have the time but don't WANT to, and I get confused.

 

I rarely play with my children.  I talk with them, cuddle with them, cook with them, read to them, do learning activities with them, go on walks with them, do crafts with them. let them help with chores, sing and dance with them, etc.  I spend most of every day interacting with them, but other than an occasional board game or puzzle I don't really get down on the floor and play with them.

 

 

Thank you ladies so much for talking about this! I love my kids, but I HATE getting on the floor and playing with them like that. I have heard lectures from my grandma about how important it is, and heard the other mums say how they love getting down and playing. I even watch the childrens uncle play with them for an hour on duplos or drawing or whatever. I have always felt so guilty. Part of it is a parenting decision, we made the decision to encourage lots of independent play, but part of it is that I just don't want to play with them, and I have always felt like a terrible mother for it.

 

Part of the guilt comes from the fact I went to a playgroup in a low income area for awhile and saw a bunch of mums not playing with their children, but I know they also weren't interacting in any other way either. I associated mums who don't play with their kids with mums who have very little interaction with them at all. 

 

I love going out with my daughter, and I love taking her on walks. I think it is the cutest thing ever that when I am working in the kitchen she gets up on the stool on the other side of the table and watches. We cuddle lots, we do read alouds, and I am a talkative person, I love to chat and we are having some nice conversations now she's a little more verbal. I am constantly giving little interactions through the day. But I still never felt like I was good enough because I had no desire to play with them. 

[lea_lpz]

Although I try to limit tv to 2 hrs a day and try during school days to wait until schools done, I am pregnant and we have our days were I just don't have the energy to do much else but lie down and let then watch tv or days I can't get going in the morning and we end up only hitting the 3 R's.

 

We have a whole year to complete a 9 month school year. That helps me have some breathing room.

 

And you can lean on doing things like starfall and science videos when you aren't up to a full day. They'd still be learning. I actually try to have a plan for things they can do and learn for when I do not feel good or we just need a break from our regular routine.

 

I rarely play with my kids. That's we we had 3 in 5 years, lol. I do spend time with them. I read to them, take them on field trips, we do arts and crafts together, bake together, etc., but I don't feel a need to play with them. They have each other and neighborhood friends for that. I like them to be able to entertain themselves.

 

If you find yourself tossing the tv on because you don't have the energy to play with them, I would just tell them no tv or electronics and it's time to play with their toys. You might get some resistance at first but eventually they will get that you are not going to turn on the tv if they whine or complain enough so will tire of trying and go play.

 

Another trick I have is when the kids bicker at free play and after a warning they continue, I tell them I don't care who did what; none of them are making an effort to get along and so they cannot be trusted unsupervised and since I am busy doing whatever I am doing they must just set there in plain view while I do what I have to do. For example they might all sit at the table for 20 minutes while I make dinner quietly. If after 10 minutes they are quiet and setting, I might let them get out dot art or play a board game, but if they begin to fight, it goes back. Once the task is done, if they are good they get to go plat again. They do not like this so it usually does the trick. If they fight again they all get housework to do :)

[dragonflyer]

I do not want to reiterate most of the great ideas here, so...

1.  When I am pregnant the TV is on "as long as you let me sleep, if you wake me up I turn the TV off!"

2.  Do some google searches for at home "cabin fever" ideas for the winter time.  Lots of bloggers come up with fun ideas to keep your kids active during the winter time, and I just apply them to when I am inside because summer is too hot.  One of our better "steals" was the punching bag.  I hung a trashbag stuffed with newspaper from the ceiling and had an instant villian for my superhero to defeat.

3.  I will also read, talk, sing, play games, teach, comfort, cuddle and interact with pretend play (i.e. placing an order at the 'restaraunt'), but I do not like to play with my kids.  There. I said it...

[Rachel]

Thank you all for the suggestions!  On average, we watch 2-3 hours a day, which is still more than I want.  I was talking to a friend today who reminded me to ease up on myself.  Morning sickness doesn't last forever.  

 

There are some good things here that I am going to try to implement!

 

This may not work with all 3 of your kids, but I can get my 3 or 5 year old (individually, not together) to hang out on my bed and look at books while I take a nap.  I take them to the library first so they have a bunch of new things to look at/read.  

 

Morning sickness can be awful, but you are right it doesn't last forever.  I don't know how bad it is for you, but for those really bad days zofran was wonderful.

[Rachel]

Another trick I have is when the kids bicker at free play and after a warning they continue, I tell them I don't care who did what; none of them are making an effort to get along and so they cannot be trusted unsupervised and since I am busy doing whatever I am doing they must just set there in plain view while I do what I have to do. For example they might all sit at the table for 20 minutes while I make dinner quietly. If after 10 minutes they are quiet and setting, I might let them get out dot art or play a board game, but if they begin to fight, it goes back. Once the task is done, if they are good they get to go plat again. They do not like this so it usually does the trick. If they fight again they all get housework to do :)

 

I'm going to have to try this!  Mine still think housework is fun though so I'll have to come up with something different as a consequence.

[angelmama1209]

I get that it is really hot in TX, we live in the south, spent a week in TX at the end of June, and spent a few days in LA in August.  We still went outside though.  Kids don't care as much about the heat, if you keep it brief.  Can you let them run through the sprinkler or play in a kiddie pool or do you have water restrictions?  I'd suggest go outside first thing when it isn't as hot, and spray the kids with bug spray if the mosquitoes are that bad.  I know heat is worse when you are pregnant, so if you are uncomfortable, send them to the backyard for 20 minutes.  You can stay near a window to keep an eye on them if it makes you uncomfortable, but at least you'll be in the a/c.

 

um, my kids do. I try to kick them outside and they're back in in 5 minutes beat red, dripping sweat, and worn out. except for the year we had a pool, my kids mind the heat, even for a short time.

 

to the op, seriously, go easy on yourself. my second pregnancy was my worst and pbs was my best friend. it won't kill them for a short while.

[Maela]

I have an almost four year old and a six year old.  

 

7:30 wake up and eat breakfast.  Then right away, I ask them to brush their teeth, get dressed, and have their hair combed (by me).

9  I take the to a park (drive or walk - depends on the park) or send them out into the back yard.  They usually don't want to go into the back yard, especially the older, but after a little bit they always find something to do and are happy.  If they're still unhappy after 45 min. to an hour, they can come back in.  But in our house at least a little bit of time outside is a requirement.  They love the park, but 2-3 days a week we need to stay home so that I can get some major cleaning accomplished.  Also, I find that the more consistent I am about outside time, the more they start enjoying themselves.

11 school work - four year old has his own special school time with me first.  Then I give him an independent activity to do.  water play, puzzles, lacing cards, stamps, play doh, etc.

12 lunch

12:30 I read a bit to them

1 quiet time - the only rule is that they have to stay in their playroom or bedroom and they have to be doing something quiet so that we all get some rest

2 we all do chores; some together, some individual

3 tea time - we play a kid game and have a snack with some tea

4 they can do pretty much whatever they want: play outside, play on the computer, watch a mama-approved show, read, etc.  while I work on my stuff:  studying Spanish, practicing the fiddle, blogging, etc.  I call it Mama's School time

5 I make dinner while they continue to do their own thing or they help me.  I ask them to set the table.

6 dinner

7 bath or a family walk

8 bedtime our routine includes stories, brushing teeth, pjs

 

on average, I'd say my kids get 1/2 hour of tv a day and 1/2 hour educational computer time a day.  I'm trying not to freak out about that.   :)

 

But when I was pregnant?  My daughter and I spent HOURS on the couch watching movies and eating junk like cheezits for lunch because I couldn't stand the sight of most healthy food right around lunch time.  I also couldn't stand the sight of dirty dishes - it made me so nauseous!  You have my sympathy, and I don't think you need to feel bad about the amount of tv they're watching during a temporary period in their lives.

 

ETA:  I should add that it's pretty hot where I live this time of the year, but before eleven it's not dangerously hot.  They can have water and they can play in their kiddie pool.  In the cold months, I'll switch the school time and outside time.

[lea_lpz]

We live in area that it's hot and actually quite unbearably so between 10:30 am until about 4:30 pm.

 

In summer I try to let them have outside time in the morning, so we might try to leave the house at 8 am and walk to the park, let them play and walk home so we beat the heat. Or i might just let them poke around outside in the morning. I schedule swim lessons for after 4:30. Sometimes we go early or stay late for rec swim. When we get home I do chores and make dinner and they'll play outside until about 8 pm. We tend to eat dinner later, do to bed later and wake up later in summer, and we all take a long nap after lunch :).

 

Because it is too hot to do much mid day anyhow, we usually do school from around 10 am to noon, eat lunch and read from 12-1, and then nap from about 1-3 pm. Then we eat a snack and get ready for swim lessons. They don't really end up watching tv this way much actually. They come home at about 5:15, take a shower and are out playing from about 6 pm to 8 pm with neighborhood kids. We eat dinner and they watch about an hour of tv or we do a family game night and then we read aloud from a chapter book and they get ready for bed at about 10.

[csolomon]

We also struggled with too much TV time, but you will be amazed what happens when you just don't let them turn it on! It's great! We are new homeschoolers, but since we started school a few weeks ago we have turned the TV on less than 5 times. I work on the weekends, so I do allow him free TV and game time on the weekend when he's home with dad, but he chooses not to watch nearly as much as he did before. During the week he has to earn TV or video game time and the TV doesn't come on at all until school work is done for the day. We do a pirate ship ladder and he has to earn 10 points to get to the pirate ship to earn either 30 minutes of TV or 30 minutes of games, but he gets lots of opportunites to earn them by brushing his teeth without a fuss, setting the table, helping around the house, etc.

 

As far as our schedule, we are somewhat laid back. We don't wake up at a specified time, but usually by 8:30. We have breakfast, clean up a little and then start our phonics/reading lesson. I give him a 15 minute break and then we do math. Usually by then it's time for lunch and I try to give him some outside play time weather permitting. After lunch we do our writing lesson, take a 15 minute break and then do any other activities planned like arts, crafts, etc. Each day is different because we do activities during the week with our homeschool group, so we keep things pretty flexible.

 

I have found that some schedules and ideas work better than others. Obviously, your experience will be different with more children, but you will find what works for you. It will just take a little trial and error.

[SereneHome]

I can't help you with schedule ideas - we have none.

 

I wanted to comment on lack of toys.  We have plenty, "thanks" to my IL's.  Guess what?  My kids (3 and 5) play with chairs and towels more than they play with toys.  Few things that they "build" out of those two things + tape:  a train, a house, space ship, a horse for when they are cowboys and a fire station.  So, don't feel bad.  While some of the toys are really cool and educational - not having them is not the end of the world either.

[Maela]

 

I wanted to comment on lack of toys. We have plenty, "thanks" to my IL's. Guess what? My kids (3 and 5) play with chairs and towels more than they play with toys. Few things that they "build" out of those two things + tape: a train, a house, space ship, a horse for when they are cowboys and a fire station. So, don't feel bad. While some of the toys are really cool and educational - not having them is not the end of the world either.

Agreed!!

[beth83]

What does "free play" mean? I assume it means the kids are free to pick what they want to play (toys, drawing, etc.). I can't tell if this thread is just geared toward parents of preK. My son is 5 and an only child. We watch too much TV. I can't send him to play alone. He won't do it. I will not sit down and play blocks all the time, either. I feel kind of badly about it. I have been reaching out to various homeschool groups, etc. in an attempt to get him some friends. We don't really know anyone. We are in Cloverbuds now, but the first meeting only one other family showed up. He does martial arts once a week and doesn't even like it anymore. We have paid for a full year. We are working really hard to get him motivated and confident so he will see it through without a fight. The local libraries have story hour and a movie showing monthly. I am looking to join a new homeschool group that is more active but they meet 45 min. away so doesn't sound ideal for making friends that we can invite over. No one in my parish has kids.

 

Daily schedule - ha I wish we could follow a routine. I'm very bad about that. But my goal is to do 1hr of school a day and that is usually broken up into chunks. It could be two 30 min. sessions (rarely) or more likely 15-20 min. on language arts and a break, then switch to math or do more language arts. We mainly do LA (sight words, phonics, reading) and Math, but I plan to incorporate some science this year (like the human body). Probably some geography later as well.

 

Heartlikealion, the question was directed to you, too.  (My oldest is 5, as well.)  I didn't necessarily mean a child who is in preschool, but more a child who doesn't have 6 hours of school work to do a day.  I figured a preschool parent would definitely fit that bill.  I'm sure at that point in education, the days won't seem to drag on because we will actually be busy with something all day!

 

My heart goes out to you on the community aspect.  I just wrote all about that in another thread.  It's so hard when you don't have a community.  It's an awkward period when you are trying to fit in and figure out how homeschooling looks at your house.  Are yall church-goers?  That may be a place to start looking.  Don't limit to your church, but even check all the churches in the area.  I would call the different church offices and ask if they know of any homeschoolers.  Sometimes there are informal groups that aren't advertised online.  Maybe a couple of moms who just get together at the park, or for outings.  They assume they are the only ones in the area and yall assume the same.  At least someone to hang out with is a nice change.  Once we met one family, I felt like I wasn't so alone!