do you 'threaten' your kids with school?

[Farrar]

I never give an ultimatum unless I really mean it. Obviously many others in this thread feel the same way (or threaten school because they do mean it), but I wish all the other parents would learn this lesson. Or politicians for that matter. Don't make a threat unless you're really going to follow through.

[8filltheheart]

I would also expect a teacher in a traditional school to always stay in the room, keeping kids on task, and not leave to 'do her own thing'. During school hours being a teacher is her only job. Homeschooling is not, generally speaking, school in a house. There are other children, including little ones to care for who need to be educated themselves or, at the least, can't spend hours a day watching TV unsupervised while I tap my pen at each problem for their sibling. Meals must be made. Laundry must be done. Spills must be cleaned up. Dishes must be washed. It would be wonderful to have someone tend to all these tasks so I can be focused on keeping one f the kids focused but that's not my reality right now.

How old are each of your kids? What grades are you teaching? 2nd grade shouldn't take more than 2 hrs or so. It can be broken up into stages. Working one on one with your kids really shouldn't be impossible. Difficult to learn to manage, yes.

 

Laundry can be folded beside a child doing work. Math can be done in the kitchen by a mom who is cleaning the kitchen or cooking. School work can be done while mom sits on the floor playing with a baby and a child sits on the other side doing working. Helping them stay focused and doing their work while you are physically present doesn't mean you have to shut down and are unable to do anything else.

[Mandy in TN]

I would also expect a teacher in a traditional school to always stay in the room, keeping kids on task, and not leave to 'do her own thing'. During school hours being a teacher is her only job. Homeschooling is not, generally speaking, school in a house. There are other children, including little ones to care for who need to be educated themselves or, at the least, can't spend hours a day watching TV unsupervised while I tap my pen at each problem for their sibling. Meals must be made. Laundry must be done. Spills must be cleaned up. Dishes must be washed. It would be wonderful to have someone tend to all these tasks so I can be focused on keeping one f the kids focused but that's not my reality right now.

Everyone here as laundry, cleaning, and meals. I thought I made it clear that pen pacing was a technique that I primarily used while tutoring other people's children. However, it isn't a bad technique to use with my ds if I am trying to teach him how to pace himself through some new material. Anyway, I went on to say that he needed to be on eyesight and gave several options for how I have handled my children in my home. Although you say that homeschooling is not school in a house, when you describe how you are schooling, it sounds very much like school in a house. But even if you were using less schoolish, workbook-y type stuff, homeschooling is still a full time job.

 

(Have you read the recent threads about only being able to do two of the three? Good school day, clean house, cooked dinners) Homeschooling is a full time job that you happen to do in your home with your kids. It is actually more than a full time job. It is a life style choice. Anyway, regardless of food and cleaning, that child can still be in eyesight. Like you said- this isn't school at home. Have him do his workbook-y schoolwork on the kitchen floor while you do whatever you need to do. Have him sit on the couch beside you while you nurse a baby. He can lay in the floor in the hall while you clean the bathroom. He can work on a lawn chair while you push a little person on a swing. We have done all these things and more. Sometimes they are more effective than others, but I never found it effective to put a little person, who I knew didn't work well alone, out of eyesight. And, like I said, they do grow up. It won't be like this forever. ;)

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Mena]

I don't think it's unreasonable to have to sit with a 2nd grader while they complete their school work. My 8yo does some assigned reading and a typing program independently, but I sit with him for everything else. When my oldest was 8, he sometimes had his school work finished before I'd even gotten out of bed in the morning. I can't hold all my kids to that standard, so I adjust my expectations and make it work.  

 

Have you tried using a timer? I've found it to be an effective tool when moving toward independent work. How long is your child's work taking? How long should it take? I would think about reducing the workload or getting creative with scheduling before looking into public school. 

 

 

For what it's worth, my husband and I have threatened to send one of our children to public school. I just don't think it's warranted in your situation. Our son was much older and it was not directly related to his school work. 

[DianeW88]

No. Brick and mortar school has never been an option in our home.

 

I also don't believe in keeping kids home, then sending them to PS, then bringing them home for awhile...rinse and repeat.

[acabrera0607]

I'm all ears.  My 8 year old is going to drive me nuts!

 

I just don't know what to do with him.  : /

 

He is the sweetest thing, and smart, but he hates school work.

 

LOL This sounds just like my 6yr old son. God love him, he is smart and sweet (well when not being made to do school work) but hates school work with a passion which I blame on our PS. He use to love learning when he started K in our PS by mid-year my child was crying his eyes out begging not to go and hated anything to do with learning. 

My son loves the computer and if I would allow it would sit for hours playing games, watching videos, etc. 

 

He and I had this "discussion" last year quite a few times with hubby involved too. I didn't threaten him, I think. We sat him down and told him plain and simple school is not optional you have to do it. We explained how the government says if you don't do school then parents go to jail. We explained that I gave up my free time to do this with him and we paid a lot of money for his books. We told him, if he did not appreciate being able to homeschool he would go back to school. He knows school is close to 8hrs long. He will tell you he doesn't want to do that, but then he also says I don't want to do my schoolwork. I promise you this child dropped his pencil so much to avoid doing schoolwork that I was about ready to tie it to a string and attach the other end of the string to his hand lol. 

 

This year we haven't started yet nor gotten his books yet, but he seems more excited. I let him see what I was thinking of using for each subject on the computer so he could have input too. (Before I start some war over letting your children pick their curriculum, that's not what I did...ultimately I am choosing what's best for him, but by letting him have input about what he likes too he feels he helped pick it.) 

 

We tried everything last year, grounding, taking t.v. away, taking computer and tablet, taking toys out of room, no outside time, corners....you name it I tried it. He just simply hated school work at that point. I do think he was slightly bored with the work we were doing, and I know how that is as I was a gifted student and if I were bored I would not do like I was suppose to. 

 

Hopefully, all that is solved this year though as I said he seems excited right now and we have already had the talk that if he refuses to do it for me then we will have to look into private schools or something. 

 

As far as the household not stopping over a challenging child. Oh my, my husband and I got into it because of this very topic. Last year my son would literally take ALL day to the point I wasn't able to really spend time with my other children having fun because I was sitting arguing with him over school work. I did learn quickly to do things while he sat pouting about something--I would do laundry, fold clothes, wash dishes, etc. It is extremely challenging when you have such a challenging child especially when you know he knows the material and it would take him 5 minutes if he would just stop fussing and do it. 

Homeschooling is definitely a full-time plus job. I am having issues right now deciding on taking a job out of the home to help our family financially while trying to homeschool. Everyone has different opinions about it. One of my friends, who is a teacher in a PS, straight out says a full-time job is not possible while homeschooling because if you choose to take your child's education into your own hands then that needs to be your top priority. 

 

I am no expert here by any means, but I would say don't threaten because if you do have to send them to school they will definitely hate it and cause problems in the school. That said, I don't see a problem with having a discussion explaining that homeschooling is a privilege and (if you are willing to do it, which you said you were) that if they do not appreciate that privilege they will have no other choice but to go back to PS. It's not a threat then---it's a discussion of expectations and consequences if those expectations are not met. 

 

I would not expect a 2nd grader to do much independent work though. My son in K could do addition problems (about 10) by himself, but I would leave the room for a second so he would not have time to really get into too much before I would catch him. With Math my son would literally try to race me--we made it fun by saying see if you can get all those problems done (or in the case of copy work, sentences) before I come back and then I will check how many you got right. On really difficult subjects (for my son, Phonics, simply because he hated it though he had a full understanding of it) we did a game to incorporate math---for each page you get done I will give you a nickle or a dime, and at the end of the work I would have him count out how much money he earned to put in his money box. He knew each dollar in that box meant 1 toy at the "toy store" which happens to be our local family dollar lol. This worked well sometimes. I think we actually started that when I realized no consequence would work so I started focusing on rewarding good behaviors. 

 

Good luck to you. Maybe something in my rambling will help you I hope. 

[lewelma]

No, I would never threaten school.  Would I have a serious conversation?  yes.  But this conversation would absolutely not be linked to every day frustrations; instead it would be during a quiet weekend where we would discuss the pros and cons and whether he would be better served by a school.

 

I have had this conversation with my 12 year old.  And he was clear that he was not interested in school.  This meant that we had to make it work, which in turn means that we have to find a way that works for both him and me.  We are zoned for the best school (public or private) in the entire country, so it is not a matter of quality.  But he has to 'buy in' to his own education; I will not lead him by a nose ring.

 

Ruth in NZ

[Sahamamama]

Yes, I did this a bit at the start of 2nd grade (this past school year). There were times when I felt my daughter was being "flaky," taking her old sweet time about everything, not taking her education seriously enough for me. Get going, Poky Little Puppy, or I'll put you on the bus!

 

I said to her, "You know, if you don't learn HERE, then you will learn SOMEWHERE ELSE. See that bus? I can put you on it. You think I make you work? You think this takes time? Try going from 8:20 in the morning until 4:20 in the afternoon, five days a week, and see how you like it. Wawawawawawawwawawawa.... (the teacher voice on Charlie Brown)...Life is not a perpetual play fest of Baby Dolls and Little Ponies and Polly Pockets.....Work wawawawawawa...."

 

:toetap05:

 

Yes. I did (and would again) "threaten" them with having to work somewhere. They get the point: We are going to have to work somewhere, it may as well be here at home.

 

"Yellow bus" sort of became a running motivator around here, LOL, but in a good way. The girls began to see the work that I put into their schooling -- and the work that THEY are expected to put into their schooling -- and something kicked in inside them all. They are motivated now, in a way I hadn't seen before. I don't regret "threatening" them with the yellow bus, even though we had conversations afterward in which I reassured them that I was just venting. They do understand that about me, sigh. If you are lazy in a big way, you get the Yellow Bus Speech.

 

About a month ago, I asked my oldest if her math was done. She said, "Yes, Mommy, I did it all this morning while you were drinking coffee and posting on the WTM boards and waking up your brain. I know that if get lazy, I'll hear that Yellow Bus Speech again."  :lol:  :lol: :lol:  

[Sahamamama]

LOL

 

Yeah that is the gist of what I've said in the past.  School is not optional.  Either you do it with me at home or you have to go to a school. 

 

Howdy, Roy. What's up with that?

 

Anyway, my poor kids. I think they sort of know I'm sort of kidding, sort of. ;) Their big, brown eyes get browner and bigger, but in the end, they know that I'm keeping them home. Even so, they understand the Yellow Bus Speech as the culmination of frustration, and when they've gotten the speech (2-3 times, max), they really did deserve it.

 

It is a lot of work to homeschool these children well, but some of the work has to be on their part, you know? I do agree with Mandy and others about training them to focus/pace and being present as a teacher. Something about 2nd graders, especially, seems to necessitate a firm hand, LOL. Mandy, we must have tutored the same Pencil-Dropping Boys. Drop pencil, pick it up, squirm in seat, blank look, drop pencil, pick it up, squirm in seat.... Yup.

[Soror]

What is it with pencil dropping?

[kwg]

No, I would never threaten school.  Would I have a serious conversation?  yes.  But this conversation would absolutely not be linked to every day frustrations; instead it would be during a quiet weekend where we would discuss the pros and cons and whether he would be better served by a school.

 

I have had this conversation with my 12 year old.  And he was clear that he was not interested in school.  This meant that we had to make it work, which in turn means that we have to find a way that works for both him and me.  We are zoned for the best school (public or private) in the entire country, so it is not a matter of quality.  But he has to 'buy in' to his own education; I will not lead him by a nose ring.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

 

That is us too.  I have had the convo with my ds11 but when we were both calm.

 

Ms. Understood, have you tried a timer while you sit with him?  Start with a very short amount of time then increase it.  And then maybe do some math out loud/break it up.

[kwg]

No, I would never threaten school.  Would I have a serious conversation?  yes.  But this conversation would absolutely not be linked to every day frustrations; instead it would be during a quiet weekend where we would discuss the pros and cons and whether he would be better served by a school.

 

I have had this conversation with my 12 year old.  And he was clear that he was not interested in school.  This meant that we had to make it work, which in turn means that we have to find a way that works for both him and me.  We are zoned for the best school (public or private) in the entire country, so it is not a matter of quality.  But he has to 'buy in' to his own education; I will not lead him by a nose ring.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

 

That is us too.  I have had the convo with my ds11 but when we were both calm.

 

Ms. Understood, have you tried a timer while you sit with him?  Start with a  short amount of time then increase it.  And then maybe do some math out loud/break it up.

[Desert Strawberry]

Never. There's no point, is there? Because school isn't an option.

 

If you are feeling as if you must "threaten" your ds with going back to school this early in the year, then it's possible that you need to reconsider your methods or your instructional materials.

 

This.

I actually did once, and I meant it. My oldest was 7. Second grade seems to be a tough year for a lot of families. 

 

I investigated all our options-public and private, but as it was May and the beginning of summer vacation, I didn't get very far. 

What we ended up doing was participating in the summer sports program at the park. 4 hours a day of instruction by someone who's not me (though I was there), waking up early, driving 100 miles a day to pick up and drop off my husband, etc, etc, etc. It was enough for me to know that I didn't want to make a lifestyle of it. 

 

The bigger issue, though, is what Ellie brings up. Something isn't working. It's never good to threaten with anything. It weakens your credibility. But the fact that you are finding it necessary is a red flag. 

 

Reassess what you are doing now. For us, that year ^ we needed to get out of the house. We'd been 3 years without a car in a very small town with extremely limited opportunities. 

This year, we are changing all of our curriculum to a more bare-bones, teacher-centered approach that we can all feel excited about. 

 

What isn't working for you? Some years are going to be tough. If you have multiple kids at multiple levels, you may need a more independent approach, at least for some. This kid sounds like he needs more attention. Can you use something that fills his need for time with you without feeling like you are dragging him through every lesson? 

My 7 yr old this year is dying for facetime with me. I made sure that his work involves a lot of reading aloud- both him reading to me and me reading to him. He's feeling much less sandwiched between his extremely attention demanding older and younger siblings. 

[Desert Strawberry]

Never. There's no point, is there? Because school isn't an option.

 

If you are feeling as if you must "threaten" your ds with going back to school this early in the year, then it's possible that you need to reconsider your methods or your instructional materials.

 

This.

I actually did once, and I meant it. My oldest was 7. Second grade seems to be a tough year for a lot of families. 

 

I investigated all our options-public and private, but as it was May and the beginning of summer vacation, I didn't get very far. 

What we ended up doing was participating in the summer sports program at the park. 4 hours a day of instruction by someone who's not me (though I was there), waking up early, driving 100 miles a day to pick up and drop off my husband, etc, etc, etc. It was enough for me to know that I didn't want to make a lifestyle of it. 

 

The bigger issue, though, is what Ellie brings up. Something isn't working. It's never good to threaten with anything. It weakens your credibility. But the fact that you are finding it necessary is a red flag. 

 

Reassess what you are doing now. For us, that year ^ we needed to get out of the house. We'd been 3 years without a car in a very small town with extremely limited opportunities. 

This year, we are changing all of our curriculum to a more bare-bones, teacher-centered approach that we can all feel excited about. 

 

What isn't working for you? Some years are going to be tough. If you have multiple kids at multiple levels, you may need a more independent approach, at least for some. This kid sounds like he needs more attention. Can you use something that fills his need for time with you without feeling like you are dragging him through every lesson? 

My 7 yr old this year is dying for facetime with me. I made sure that his work involves a lot of reading aloud- both him reading to me and me reading to him. He's feeling much less sandwiched between his extremely attention demanding older and younger siblings. 

[Desert Strawberry]

DP

[swellmomma]

I would also expect a teacher in a traditional school to always stay in the room, keeping kids on task, and not leave to 'do her own thing'. During school hours being a teacher is her only job. Homeschooling is not, generally speaking, school in a house. There are other children, including little ones to care for who need to be educated themselves or, at the least, can't spend hours a day watching TV unsupervised while I tap my pen at each problem for their sibling. Meals must be made. Laundry must be done. Spills must be cleaned up. Dishes must be washed. It would be wonderful to have someone tend to all these tasks so I can be focused on keeping one f the kids focused but that's not my reality right now.

Well we all have those things to deal with.  We all have several plates spinning at once, kids to educate (and all 4 of mine need me to sit directly with them to get work done-yeah learning disabilities), younger children in the home for my home daycare, puppies that need to be pottied and directly supervised constantly, a home to keep very clean thanks to having a home daycare, meals to make, extra curriculars to get to, my other job from home to do, possibly a 3rd job outside the home, kids are not left unsupervised watching tv (we don't have that capability anyway).  Kids are taught with me sitting right there.  Chores are done, some of them with me sitting right there such a meal prep, folding laundry, washing dishes and working on my writing job.  The rest has to wait. I don't have someone else helping with those things, geeze that would be lovely.  I don't have the luxury of letting things slide like many in the threads about how to get it all done.

 

BUT School comes first and if I am unwilling or unable to actually sit there and give my kid the one on one (which is a huge reason I homeschool) and feel my focus needs to be on everything else in the home then I should be seriously considering if homeschooling truly is the right thing for that child.  We are talking about a 7 yr old, not a 17 yr old.  7 year olds still need a lot of hand holding, that is the reality of homeschooling them. 

[Doodle]

I use MIF, HWT, WWE, SOTW, NOEO chem 1, FLL 3.  (I am probably forgetting something...)

 

He does not mind FLL 3.  He hates to physically write.  I don't make him do a ton of writing though.  He likes to be read to.  He likes to read and can read pretty much anything and I'd guess he has a very high level of comprehension as well.  He hates math.  I do play a lot of math games with him and keep lessons short without too much writing (I often scribe most of his math for him).  He likes hands on anything and crafty things.  So I do try to do that as much as possible.  He likes the science and history stuff (so long as there is no writing involved). 

 

Some days go smoothly and there isn't a ton of complaining.  Some days are downright bad.

 

He is good at pretty much anything he does.  Things come fairly easily.  But he just doesn't like it.  If I try to increase the difficulty with the thought that maybe I'm boring him he tells me it is too difficult.  He has told me he likes certain things I've tried because, "it's easy and not really like learning anything". 

 

I just don't get him!

 

Although I will say he is getting more cooperative than before. 

 

 

Wow. Believe it or not, I came here this afternoon hoping to search for and find a discussion on this very topic! Found this thread on the very top of the first page. My Dh and I are at our wit's end with our 9 yr old. He has ALWAYS dawdled around when it comes time to do his written schoolwork. Last year was the worst. No punishment worked, no amount of lost privileges worked. In fact, it got so bad that he spent most weekdays last school year completely missing out on ipod time, tv time, etc., and sitting in his room after the schoolwork was finally done, because he had lost all privileges, including getting to play & have free time with the family after dinner and before bed...his choice. He understands what is required of him and what the consequences of not getting his work done will be. He hates the consequences, but he absolutely WILL NOT sit down and get his work done in a timely manner.

I've considered all the commonly suggested factors that may be the issue, and no, he's not given too much work. He's highly intelligent and understands it all; that's not the problem. He'll work example problems for/with me during lesson time, and does very well. LOVES doing history and science lessons and notebooking, as well as reading, but HATES the sit-down independent work that math, language, and handwriting require. He will sit down at his desk and stare out the window. He'll doodle elaborate drawings on his worksheet (which he's punished for, because while I love his artistic side, there is a time & place for it, and when he's NOT getting his math worksheet done, that becomes the wrong time & place). He'll make multiple bathroom trips. 

So this year I've tried something new, which is giving him frequent breaks to go outside and do whatever. For example, he starts the day by going for a quick run outside after breakfast- to get out pent up energy. Then, after our lesson time at the table (usually an hour or so), he gets to go outside for 15 minutes (or do whatever he wants to do inside). Then he must get to work on his math worksheet, which is something he has no problem getting done in less than an hour whenever he just sits down and does it. If he gets it completed before lunch time (which gives him an hour or sometimes more to get it done), he may have 30 minutes of outside/free time before he sits down to finish the rest of his written work for the day. 

We're two weeks into the new school year, and despite these new incentives and break times, he STILL is not doing his work on time. He says he wants to do his work well and on time, but that he can't stop himself from being distracted. And we've tried removing distractions, but he, to his own admission, will become distracted by his own pencil, even if everything else is removed from the work area/room! It's true! His elaborate doodling- to the point of defiance- is proof of that. Yes, I know he's artistic. I love that about him- he is really a brilliant child. But he HAS to do his written work, his math & language practice, etc., and he HAS to learn to get necessary work done, even if it's not enjoyable. But none of us, not even him, can figure out how to make that happen. It's breaking me, depressing me, and driving me, as I mentioned before, to my wit's end. 

We have threatened school, and he doesn't want to go, but I know if I have to follow through on it and put him in school, that he'll come home and do the same things with his homework. So putting him in school wouldn't solve the problem (would probably make it worse). 

I wish there were some answers or more threads on this! I've done much searching online and only come up with a few hits- most of which say the same things that haven't worked for us: discipline, punish/don't punish, curriculum change, break up the time with freetime breaks, etc. Done it all, and none of it works. 

 

My boy sounds a lot like these two boys. I know he is bright, but in certain situations, school work can be frustrating. I know he is fine/healthy/normal. I would never consider medications. I have been trying to figure out ways in which I can change our school approach to make things better. I recently read a very good book about children's learning styles. It has helped be accept that my child is not one of the few who can sit still at a desk and do a worksheet of math equations straight through until completion. He has a 'performance disposition' and is a 'whole body kinesthetic learner'. I have always done much of our work orally. In first and second grade, I only expected him to physically write for his handwriting lessons (print and cursive). I scribed his math. He has very nice print and cursive writing, but I still can't expect a lot of writing. This year he is doing his writing lesson from Writing Tales on his computer. This has worked very well! I am trying to remember to make lessons shorter, especially math. I send him outside more frequently and call it recess. I have stopped trying to 'train" him to sit still at the table to do his math. When I asked him about it, he said he would rather sit on the couch with a clipboard. I am trying to be understanding of his need to move...constantly! When I read aloud our history or science text, he will be one the floor, on the couch (upside-down), anywhere but sitting quietly next to me.

[MotherOfBoys]

I have threatened school but then I explained to him what it was like because it sounded fun to him being around other kids. Now that he's telling time it meant more when I say "you'd still be in ps right now (at noon) so think how lucky you are to be done!"

 

We are a team family with mom as the coach. If I sit there while my son does his work (which is what he prefers) then he understands that moms chores are not getting done. SO when we are done with his work and my coffee on the couch next to him "Encouraging" (lol) then he doesn't get to go play for recess. He has to help the team get back on track which means he has to help me with dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and once he even changed his brothers diaper. My 5 yr old can do it all with detailed instructions the first couple of times. And do it just as thoroughly as I do. Then it's back to the desk for the next subject. There are days when son will say "go away mom and do your stuff because I want to play during break." Few days though. I am teacher first and maid second.

 

Dad expects it all done when he comes home. So it's our job to do it, yes. But stop working against each other and share! I'll sit with you and do math that you could do on your own and you will do two chores for me. My younger son is learning to work independently and quietly at the same time on the floor next to me. This, I suspect, will be a good head start when HE gets to 2nd grade. :) He does like 5 coloring pages (he thinks it's his school) a day, plays with counting bears and pattern blocks, and plays educational games on the nabi.

[happypamama]

I'd expect to need to put second graders back on track, and even older kids within the first few weeks.  I'd also expect that a second grader's work wouldn't take terribly long; last year, my second grader was able to do his work in an hour and accomplish a lot.  (That did not include group subjects like history or science; those added a bit more time to the day, but his writing, reading, math, etc. was only about an hour.)

 

Have you tried using a workbox-style system?  I find this very helpful because it's all laid out so they can see what they still need to do; it's not me going, "oh, but you need to do THIS too."  Each of my big kids (3rd and 6th) has five daily workboxes (math, reading, writing, language, and general skills [copywork/cursive, special stuff for health or safety for the portfolio, logic, etc.), and we have worked really hard on a routine; after breakfast, they're to start their reading without needing to ask me what to do and without me needing to remind them.  I would drill a routine, one step at at a time, until it's the way you want it.  But I would expect to need to remind a second grader a lot.

 

As for threatening school, I wouldn't unless I was truly serious.  I have zero problem reminding my older child that she just plain has to do the work; it doesn't always matter if it's interesting or fun or whatever, because sometimes you don't get a choice.  I also have no problem reminding her that I'm glad she's here but that if she doesn't do the work for me, her portfolio will be rejected, and then she will have to go to public school.  It's just the way it is -- ya gotta do the work somewhere, somehow.  I also remove privileges for work not being done.

[Doodle]

Sounds like mine. What book? :)

 

Discover Your Child's Learning Style

 

I bought the kindle version. I took the quiz myself. While I already knew we were complete opposites, this made me acutely aware of the fact that what works for me, doesn't work for him. I need to use what works for him. I need to adjust, he is fine.

[Soror]

We are a team family with mom as the coach. If I sit there while my son does his work (which is what he prefers) then he understands that moms chores are not getting done. SO when we are done with his work and my coffee on the couch next to him "Encouraging" (lol) then he doesn't get to go play for recess. He has to help the team get back on track which means he has to help me with dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and once he even changed his brothers diaper. My 5 yr old can do it all with detailed instructions the first couple of times. And do it just as thoroughly as I do. Then it's back to the desk for the next subject. There are days when son will say "go away mom and do your stuff because I want to play during break." Few days though. I am teacher first and maid second.

I would feel very disingenuous telling my child that I cannot sit with them b/c I don't have time, especially at the k age. There is not enough work at k that it should keep me from getting my work done. I cannot wrap my brain around withholding recess from a 5 yo because they aren't working independently. My kids are expected to help w/ chores but it is not done during school. Multi-tasking, prioritizing and efficiency is just something we as hs moms have to learn as we do wear many hats,that is our responsibility to learn.

[MommaOfalotta]

ETA: Totally misunderstood the question

 

When dd is complaining about not getting to play, or how long school takes I will say something like "Well, if you went to public school you would be waking up bright and early and would be there ALL day long. So you've got it pretty good."