High school in the fall...or wait a year. What you would do?

[pjssully]

Just looking for some feedback from some veteran moms. My 13 year old daughter will turn 14 in the end of May. She is currently in 8th grade, according to her school age. HOwever, I am considering waiting a year to do high school with her. She is currently just doing Zeta Math u See, which is decimal and percents. She may not even be ready for pre algebra next year(but I think she will finish the book during the summer) She is smart, but has a diagnosed anxiety and depression so that has been interferring with school for about 5 years now-which is why she is "behind". She has great reading skills, good vocabulary, average writing, and a good science mind. But she is so far behind in math......I just don't know if it makes sense to start high school. She is young anyways. Most likely she will attend a Community college, due to anxiety issues. Then MAYBE transfer at some point?

Any thoughts??????

[eclecticschooler]

My dd is the same age. She is ahead in math but is dyslexic and her writing skills are not up to grade level. I am waiting a yr for hs. I have a 17 yo sr this yr also. I don't regret accelerating her. She is ready but my next one won't be. My 13 yo also has OCD and anxiety issues. My plan is that she can always do cc earlier if she is ready.

[jhschool]

Start high school next Fall, and act like it is high school in every way.

Have the work be as challenging, the schedule be as challenging.

Then repeat ninth grade (with different classes or the same classes, depending

on your needs).

 

The second time around, the "real" ninth grade, she will feel a lot better about

high school, will have experience, and will know what is going on.

And any kinks will get ironed out your first time around. Also that first year won't

"count" so there is much less pressure. All the fun of high school with none

of the stress! (But you still have to do the work as if it were real.)

 

That is what we are doing with DC right now. He needs an extra year, and

we decided to do 2 9th grades, rather than delay high school.

This year is great, since he is doing HS level work

but learning the HS level skills of time management, priorities, etc.

[Gwen in VA]

You can always change your mind later -- IF you keep good records!

 

This coming year can be 9th grade -- and if at any point you really feel like she needs another year, adjust your records so this coming year doesn't count and the official high school records start the following year.

 

We held my ds back in 8th grade -- he repeated the grade but we kept plowing ahead, giving him lots of new material. At the end of his second eighth grade year he was ready for high school. For us, holding him back was a good move. He was always convinced that he would be the oldest kid in his college freshma class since he entered college at 19+ years old, but actually about 20% of his freshman class is older than he is!

[Paintedlady]

I'm contemplating the same thing with dd, so will be watching this thread with interest. Already some great advice here!

[Candid]

You've described a child who I think would be good to hold back a year. While the anxiety may not be cured by age it may be mellowed and it will certainly be paired with greater experience and wisdom.

 

That said, I have in many way a child much unlike yours: he's strong in academics, strong in his beliefs and reasoning, but he had September birthday, so we decided to hold him back around fifth grade (we wanted him to be 18 on the first day of college). We did it at a time when we had switched our major social setting and could put him in the new one with the new lower grade. We explained it clearly and logically to him.

 

The amazing part is that he went from being a kid who wasn't an unwitting follower, but was NOT the leader to being much more of a leader and in the succeeding years this has developed so now he is a leader.

 

I remember reading a book on boys in which the author said he had never met a parent who regretted holding a boy back a year in school. That may not transfer perfectly to girls, but I suspect that in your case, it would be a good decisions. The trick is to make sure she has bought in.

[kiana]

Well, first, I would talk with her about it.

 

Second, I would postpone the decision. I would keep records this fall as though she were in 9th grade, but still have it (in your head) as 8th/9th grade. If she suddenly starts leaping forward, you'll have the records to graduate her at 18. But if she's still struggling, you can add the extra year at any point before you actually graduate her.

[Ellie]

That she isn't where you hoped she would be in math is not a reason to keep her from being a freshman in the fall.

[JudoMom]

I've got a younger 8th grader as well (he'll turn 14 at the end of July). I've been sick a lot over the last couple of years, and we aren't where I'd hoped we be with some skills. I'm treating this coming year as 9th, but I've talked with ds13 and dh about my concerns. I figure we'll evaluate as we go along, and if we need to tack another year on at the end we can, I'll just dump the records from this coming year.

[TechWife]

I think 8th grade is an easier place for a holding pattern than 9th grade. If you have any doubts, I recommend that you "hold her back." You can do a lot of different things with a second 8th grade year, but as you progress in the high school years, it becomes harder.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Are there any outside reasons for making the decision now or could you just start high school work in some areas and continue building fundamentals in others?

 

Are there youth groups where it would be better to delay entering the high school group for a year in order not to feel "held back" later. Or would not joining the high school group feel awkward?

 

Are there sports participation rules based on grade rather than age/ability?

 

Do you need to declare a grade level to the state? Have you already declared that she is now an eighth grader so that repeating 8th grade would be awkward.

 

How old would she be at graduation if she takes an extra year?

 

I know that I felt an incredible "on the record" pressure once we hit high school. The feel of our homeschool has changed to be much more demanding and focused than it was a year ago. If you are feeling that she still needs time to be on the level and is already working through anxiety issues, another year to prep for high school might be a great way to provide her with breathing room. If she does high school level work before she is officially in high school, it is possible to not that on the final transcript as a subject taken earlier. Sometimes people refer to this as a class "above the line" because it is listed above the line demarking the courses taken during high school. So for example, if she wanted to start taking a foreign language, she could have that year show on the transcript.