prairiewindmomma Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 We have a big storm front moving in and I feel yucky today. My kids worked on practical skills this morning and we are doing the basics this afternoon while I hold the baby and rest on the couch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 Jean, that sounds painful. :( How long does it normally last? Just a few days. The annoying part is that I don't know how long it will last each time. And it can come and go. So today my bp has been nice and normal and I feel fine but later today it could come back again. . . or not. The main thing is that my first reaction is to always panic and think "Oh my goodness, I'm having a heart attack!" But once I calm down and think through the symptoms and the timing and poke around my muscles to see if they are sore, I realize that I'm not and settle down. And while it's not "fun", it just joins the other non-life-threatening non-fun symptoms in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I have to go into hospital for 7-10 days for IV antibiotics :( Don't want to leave my kids for that long. I am so jealous of healthy people. Oh, I'm sorry to hear this, too. It would be hard to be away from home that long. Is there any chance of doing a PICC line at home? I guess you've already looked into that, but thought I'd throw it out there. I did a PICC line for my IV Abx for 4 or 5 months several years ago. It wasn't too bad, once we got the hang of it, and a nurse came once a week to change the dressing. Hugs, and hopes for a shortened stay, if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I love the Spoon story. It helps to explain things. Funny, I was just talking to a friend about it recently, but hadn't thought of it in years. Have any of you read Beyond Chaos: One Man's Journey Alongside His Chronically Ill Wife by Gregg Piburn? My MIL gave it to us years ago... DH teared up just reading the intro, and it took him a few months to really get through the book. It all hit home very close for him. For me, reading it was enlightening - it was good to see it from DH's perspective. It gave me some new insight. We had a round of with a nasty virus over the weekend. I'd gone into a migraine cycle (I have these migraine episodes that last several days), and then DS developed a high fever. It was quite a weekend. We are recovering though. DD and DH are fine. They have great immune systems! We loaded up on Sambucol and the good old O Placebo I learned about here. :) Other than that, just dealing with our new food allergies, and trying to figure that out. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Thank you for the suggestion. Unfortunately, the home health people won't do the late night dose, so yes, basically taking up a bed for two weeks just for an 11pm dose of abx. I'm lucky in that dd15 is working independently, dd13 is doing distance ed and dh can work with ds...hopefully school won't fall off the radar...we are only 3 weeks into the term! Thank you Spryte. Jean set this group up at a good time for me...it actually is quite helpful to hear other homeschool moms having btdt. Oops, I see you'd answered someone else about it. Sorry, I asked, too. :) It really isn't bad to infuse yourself, if you have a picc line, but all insurance companies are different - so that might not even have been put on the table as an option for you. Maybe you can treat your hospital stay as an extended "spa" vacation? Take great books, your laptop, and catch up on lots of rest? Make your hospital room into a little oasis just for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 How's everyone doing today? I'm "normal". Nothing all that great to report but nothing all that bad to report either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I had a bad night of sleep last night, so I woke up with leg pain and still have pain in my hands. Took Dd to her dog class this morning. Now trying to fit in some school before leaving for Ds's agility trial this afternoon. I predict I'll collapse tonight. Still, I'm doing better than a lot of people here and I keep praying for you all though I'm not posting so much lately. I'm trying desperately to salvage Ds's 9th grade year and obsessing about the public speaking course we are teaching starting next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm having a good day. I got the day off work b/c my boss is a teacher and they canceled school since we are supposed to get a ton of snow. Therefore, I got to sleep in. Woot! Now, I get to catch up on all of my recorded shows that DH refuses to watch with me. :laugh: Jean, I'm glad you are doing well today! No more chest pains? Shannon, sorry to hear you had a rough night and that are having pain today. I hope you are able to get better sleep tonight. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 No more chest pains and my blood pressure has gone back to normal. Yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Well I have bad and good. Bad is I am getting sick and I never just get a cold- they always turn into sinus infection or bronchitis or sometimes even pneumonia. The good is that even though I feel lousy, my arthritic pain and my muscle spasms due to that are almost all gone. That is because while my body is fighting the sickness, it takes a breather from fighting me. OTOH, once I start recovering from the bug, whammo- big time flare. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my doctor which is good since I will be needing antibiotics by then (as I said, due to my underlying illnesses plus using immune suppressants, I never, and I mean never, just get a virus- that has been true ever since I went on stronger arthritis medication). The good news is I am seeing the pain clinic tomorrow and i only have a few more weeks until I see the new rheumatologist. In other news, we brought my dd into the orthopedist a week earlier since she has been in so much pain (she injured her knee badly two Fridays ago and was supposed to come back next Thursday). Part of the problem is her leg below the knee is swelling up a lot due to the brace. Also, even with the brace, her knee is still hyperextending and causing more pain, so after checking her knee out again, he ordered an MRI. We will see him again next Tuesday and then we should have a good idea how long she will be recovering. If it is what I suspect, she will need surgery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eight_gregorys Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 So I've been thinking....how do you guys handle big trips to places like Disney. My in-laws want us to go to Disney. I really want to go, but I don't want to be a drag either, kwim? I would hate for everyone to have to wait on me, but I hate the idea of the kids experiencing Disney without me. I'm just brainstorming how this could work since the trip is coming up in the next couple of months. Anybody been there, done that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty Social Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 It's been a few years since I went to Disney. Let's see. Basically, I sat on a bench many times while dh went and stood in line with the kids and did the rides because I was so exhausted. I made excuses so that people didn't know how exhausted I was. (Dh knew.) When I could, I would join in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynful Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Well I have bad and good. Bad is I am getting sick and I never just get a cold- they always turn into sinus infection or bronchitis or sometimes even pneumonia. The good is that even though I feel lousy, my arthritic pain and my muscle spasms due to that are almost all gone. That is because while my body is fighting the sickness, it takes a breather from fighting me. I've noticed this exact same thing and was so surprised to read your post about it. It almost makes me want to get sick. Pregnancy put me in remission also and I have horrible pregnancies. You'd think doctors could somehow harness this trait and work on a solution in this manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynful Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 We live here in Disney and Universal "land". :) I ADORE both of them but they aren't as much fun as they used to be before I had issues. We still go though. Sometimes I need my wheelchair, most times I just like to walk. It means lots of medicine for me to get through the day and the next day is a total bust for doing anything. I'm usually so exhausted and sore that I just can't function well. We make memories though and I find that to be well worth it. We also take it very easy - take frequent breaks, go back to the hotel and take a nap, don't try to do it all in one day, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynful Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 BTW, Jean, thank you so much for starting this Social Group. I hate to hear how many others have issues, yet, it's so nice to have others who understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 BTW, Jean, thank you so much for starting this Social Group. I hate to hear how many others have issues, yet, it's so nice to have others who understand. You're welcome. Can I selfishly thank myself too? :p It helps me tremendously. I'm honestly not as inclined to self-pity now that I truly know that I'm not going it alone (even though cognitively I knew that before). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Yes, thank you Jean! :) Aunty Social, my husband is the same way. :grouphug: There are some days when I am in so much pain from my arthritis, but whenever I complain he tells me I'm being a big baby. I just started telling him that he doesn't live in my body and can't know my pain, to me I hurt, so shut up. LOL I don't even usually complain unless it is really bad. We had a big snow storm push through today, and for the past couple days my body has hurt SOOO bad! Especially my hands and my shoulders, which are two of my worst joints. My shoulders have been waking me up in my sleep the past couple nights. Today has been better b/c it warmed up a bit, but man when that cold front came through it was horrible! We ended up getting around 9" of snow, and it hasn't stopped yet. My boss (I'm a nanny) doesn't have school again tomorrow...but wants me to come in for a couple hours so he can go to the gym. Ummm....I'm not going to risk my life for that, sorry! We tried to go out to get something to eat tonight at 7:30 pm, and the entire city of Omaha was shut down!! It was like a zombie apocalypse! lmao The roads are HORRIBLE! If they aren't much better by morning, I'm going to tell them I just can't make it in. They live on the other side of town, a 25 minute drive on a regular day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I am having a crap day. Just awful. OCD stuff so bad I can barely function, the stress from which is bringing on the simple partial seizures that can potentially lead to the fifteen minute grand mals I sometimes have. Someone want to trade for tomorrow? I don't care what else I have to put up with, I just want to have my brain under my own control for twenty-four hours. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Mergath :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Hugs Mergath. I'm wondering if any of you have been on immunosuppressants. I'm off to the immunologist on Monday about this whole cardiac sarcoidosis and was told by the cardiologist that I would most likely end up taking these. I'm really not keen as I do try to avoid taking drugs as much as possible. If anyone has taken them, what effect did they have on you? Does anyone know any alternatives? I'm taking DH as support so he will help hopefully to find an alternative if I need it. I have currently adjusted my diet to take out sugar, most carbs and most dairy and it is making me feel better overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I am having a crap day. Just awful. OCD stuff so bad I can barely function, the stress from which is bringing on the simple partial seizures that can potentially lead to the fifteen minute grand mals I sometimes have. Someone want to trade for tomorrow? I don't care what else I have to put up with, I just want to have my brain under my own control for twenty-four hours. :( :grouphug: I'm so sorry! I completely understand. I get simple partials before my complex partials (mostly deja vu and sudden nausea, but sometimes I get the thing where items look bigger/smaller...can't remember the name for it) and mine are usually brought on by stress as well. I hope tomorrow is better for you! :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Hugs Mergath. I'm wondering if any of you have been on immunosuppressants. I'm off to the immunologist on Monday about this whole cardiac sarcoidosis and was told by the cardiologist that I would most likely end up taking these. I'm really not keen as I do try to avoid taking drugs as much as possible. If anyone has taken them, what effect did they have on you? Does anyone know any alternatives? I'm taking DH as support so he will help hopefully to find an alternative if I need it. I have currently adjusted my diet to take out sugar, most carbs and most dairy and it is making me feel better overall. I haven't been, so no advice, but I just wanted to with you good luck at the doctor! It is always good for me to take my DH b/c I am terrible at standing up for myself and he has no problem doing it for me. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 :grouphug: I'm so sorry! I completely understand. I get simple partials before my complex partials (mostly deja vu and sudden nausea, but sometimes I get the thing where items look bigger/smaller...can't remember the name for it) and mine are usually brought on by stress as well. I hope tomorrow is better for you! :grouphug: Thanks! :) With mine, I get deja vu about half the time (sometimes with weird hallucinatory mental pictures) or else I completely forget where I am and what I'm doing. Jamais vu, I think it's called? And nausea, and headaches after. And dizziness. Lots of dizziness. Man, it's even more depressing when I type it all out like that. And then the added bonus of the OCD. At least modern science has seen fit to provide the world with Ativan. Anti-anxiety meds that double as anti-convulsants? Yes, please! Think I'm going to go take a few right now... I hope you're feeling better as well. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Hugs Mergath. I'm wondering if any of you have been on immunosuppressants. I'm off to the immunologist on Monday about this whole cardiac sarcoidosis and was told by the cardiologist that I would most likely end up taking these. I'm really not keen as I do try to avoid taking drugs as much as possible. If anyone has taken them, what effect did they have on you? Does anyone know any alternatives? I'm taking DH as support so he will help hopefully to find an alternative if I need it. I have currently adjusted my diet to take out sugar, most carbs and most dairy and it is making me feel better overall. No advice, but I hope your appointment goes well. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eight_gregorys Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Hugs Mergath. I'm wondering if any of you have been on immunosuppressants. I'm off to the immunologist on Monday about this whole cardiac sarcoidosis and was told by the cardiologist that I would most likely end up taking these. I'm really not keen as I do try to avoid taking drugs as much as possible. If anyone has taken them, what effect did they have on you? Does anyone know any alternatives? I'm taking DH as support so he will help hopefully to find an alternative if I need it. I have currently adjusted my diet to take out sugar, most carbs and most dairy and it is making me feel better overall. I have been on immunosupprents previously. Right now I'm on DMARDs and a biologic, methotrexate and humira specifically. There have been times when I've had to be stronger meds which were done through infusion. I would go to have infusions done every 6 weeks. I felt super tired and out of it for a few days after the infusion was done and I could always tell a week before the next one is due because my symptoms would worsen. Do you specifically what meds your doctors are thinking about? There are so many different meds that are immunosuppressants, I could be more specific if I knew which meds, kwim? As far as alternatives, I'm not sure. I have never known anyone that was in need of these meds be able to get better on just diet changes alone. I have seen improvements in eliminating dairy myself, but not to the point of not needing meds. Maybe someone here is more knowledgeable than me on this area or has had some success. I wish I could come off the meds I'm on, but haven't had much luck. Let us know how your appointment goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Good morning, how are you today? I just got up and so I don't know yet. I always have more pain at night - esp. by the end of the night when my body is screaming from lying down so it takes a while to know if I"m going to have day pain as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynful Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I hate Prednisone!! That's all. Oh, and going low carb while on prednisone was a bad idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I hate Prednisone!! That's all. Oh, and going low carb while on prednisone was a bad idea. Me too. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Now that someone has linked to the spoon story, you'll understand when I'm very afraid that I won't have enough spoons to get through tomorrow. A very dear friend is getting married tomorrow - about 2 hours away, depending on the ferry schedule. I'm going alone. Normally I go places farther away with my husband or even my kids so that they can keep things together if I run out of spoons and can't go on for awhile. I don't have that option tomorrow. But I will be able to rest on the ferry ride to and from the mainland and I can always pull over somewhere and just sit by the side of the road for awhile if I need to as well. But I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the thought partly because it would be better for me healthwise if I packed my own food today take to take on the trip tomorrow. One step at a time, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Thanks for the help. Because I don't really understand cardiac sarcoidosis or sarcoidosis much at all, other than knowing that it made my heart almost stop. So Monday is hopefully going to answer lots of questions for me. As it is, I'm thinking I'll head to bed soon as I feel a migraine coming on and I can't deal with that right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 I'm sorry, Molly. Are there ways you can stop it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I have been on immunosuppressants for about six years now. It helps a lot though less than it used to and since I am on a half dose, I don't know if my next rheumatologist may put me on a full dose before trying other medications. What they do to me, other than really help my arthritis, is usually make me a lot sicker than I would be otherwise when I do get an illness. If you are on one, you have to be very careful with illnesses. Like yesterday I started getting sick. I called for an appointment and had one this afternoon. He gave me an antibiotic which I will start either when this turns worse or by tomorrow afternoon. This is an internal med doctor and he doesn't had out antibiotics like candy. But for people like me, and others on immunosuppressants, it is really better to be safe than sorry. Now I can say that since I have been on them, I have never had a cold not turn into a bacterial infection. I assume this also happens to others on these drugs but don't know for sure. I have another disease, Sjogrens, that also increases the liklihood of that happening. So between those two things, it always happens. I get about five sinus or bronchitis infections a year or like in Dec, one during the time I am being treated for the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I'm sorry, Molly. Are there ways you can stop it? Funny you said that, I wandered out and hung out some washing and got a coffee and some lunch and am not noticing it worsening, so that's good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 TransientChris, that sounds awful, I mean the having to take antibiotics like that. I think my biggest fear is it will make me feel worse than I do now, and most days I get through pretty well now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Disney: bring your handicapped pass and you can skip a lot of the lines. We also planned to sit and rest at certain points of the day---watching indoor shows, etc. We went in Jan when it was 70; no way we could've managed high heat and humidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 One more thing I realized tonight - intense personal discussions take way too many of my spoons away. The stress is just too much for me even if the intensity isn't necessarily a bad kind of intensity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I've got a question for all of you. Well, I have several questions. How do you think your illness has affected your ability to cope in general? DO you find you are more susceptible to anxiety and worrying than you were when you were healthy? Do more things make you nervous than before? My answer is yes. The question about going to Disney got me thinking about this. I take my health into consideration when we make vacation plans. Just this week I told Dh I want to go back to the same vacation house we've used off and on for years b/c I know the bed, know the area and it is relaxing. I don't want to deal with unknowns. Then I took Ds and his dog to an agility trial 2 days in a row this week. I had to drive about 45mins from home to get there, which was fine. I know the route and it's not far from the school where I once taught. But, when my Dd goes to dog shows they are often brand new places where I know nothing about the parking, the layout of the building, the crating area, etc. And then, when they are both competing I am so nervous I feel like I could go through the roof. I have to stay away from them. This week I took Ds by myself so Dh wasn't there to help. Everything depended on me. Then in Ds's first run his dog ran out of the ring and into another ring and Ds was rattled. I had to do damage control. He has mentors and teachers there who also help and give him pep talks, so I'm not completely on my own. Anyway, the whole thing is so intense for me. I worry about how the Dc are going to do, how they're going to handle it, how I'll manage with all the little details of getting there, finding everything. And, of course, I am exhausted after the whole thing is over. And, I think, knowing how it will affect me makes it even more stressful b/c I anticipate. Then I worry that my inability to cope will affect Dc. That it will limit what they are able to do and that I'll give my nervousness to them. They are learning tons from 4H and their experiences with dogs, and it's not something they are going to be giving up. Ds is learning how to cope with what is and not get upset when things don't go his way. I get nervous when they compete or give speeches in other areas too, so it isn't just the dogs. Ds competes in a 4H State Dog Quiz Bowl every year and often I feel like I have to leave the room b/c I'm so nervous for him. Then when I do leave the room I can't stand that I don't know what's happening. :willy_nilly: Just wondering if any of you have these issues b/c of illness. I'm thankful that I'm even able to do what I am for Dc. If it weren't for Dh's willingness to attend most of these events I know Dc would be limited in their participation, and I'm thankful that I'm able to do what I can b/c a few years ago I was confined to bed or the couch and there is no way I could have done it. Still, I wish I could enjoy these things more and not be so stressed. I'm working on it and hoping I'll get better at coping. Do any of you deal with these sorts of things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 One more thing I realized tonight - intense personal discussions take way too many of my spoons away. The stress is just too much for me even if the intensity isn't necessarily a bad kind of intensity. I know what you mean about the intense discussions. At a recent book club meeting a woman I never met before was spilling everything about a very serious personal situation involving her son. All I could think was 'too much information'. I stayed out of the conversation. I realize she probably needed to talk to someone, but it really was too much for me. I have to look into the spoons--I haven't read about them yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 I know what you mean about the intense discussions. At a recent book club meeting a woman I never met before was spilling everything about a very serious personal situation involving her son. All I could think was 'too much information'. I stayed out of the conversation. I realize she probably needed to talk to someone, but it really was too much for me. I have to look into the spoons--I haven't read about them yet. Read about the spoons! I'm reposting the link that a PP used: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ The spoon theory explains in part about your stress in new situations. You don't know how many spoons you will be called on to use up. It also explains why I get so upset when something goes wrong with even something mundane like cooking dinner. I've already used up a spoon to get dinner started and then when it burns or spills, I'm out that spoon and have to spend a new one still to get dinner on the table. Even if we eat out, I'm still spending another spoon to go out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Read about the spoons! I'm reposting the link that a PP used: http://www.butyoudon...e-spoon-theory/ The spoon theory explains in part about your stress in new situations. You don't know how many spoons you will be called on to use up. It also explains why I get so upset when something goes wrong with even something mundane like cooking dinner. I've already used up a spoon to get dinner started and then when it burns or spills, I'm out that spoon and have to spend a new one still to get dinner on the table. Even if we eat out, I'm still spending another spoon to go out. I read it. Very good description. Wish I could get all my relatives to read it, but I'm fairly certain my in-laws would just make fun. This week I borrowed spoons. Today I don't have as many spoons. I'm taking it easy, but I do have to plan some schoolwork and do some grading. I'm gearing up for taking a shower now. One thing at a time. At least I know the hot water will feel good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eight_gregorys Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I've got a question for all of you. Well, I have several questions. How do you think your illness has affected your ability to cope in general? DO you find you are more susceptible to anxiety and worrying than you were when you were healthy? Do more things make you nervous than before? My answer is yes. The question about going to Disney got me thinking about this. I take my health into consideration when we make vacation plans. Just this week I told Dh I want to go back to the same vacation house we've used off and on for years b/c I know the bed, know the area and it is relaxing. I don't want to deal with unknowns. Then I took Ds and his dog to an agility trial 2 days in a row this week. I had to drive about 45mins from home to get there, which was fine. I know the route and it's not far from the school where I once taught. But, when my Dd goes to dog shows they are often brand new places where I know nothing about the parking, the layout of the building, the crating area, etc. And then, when they are both competing I am so nervous I feel like I could go through the roof. I have to stay away from them. This week I took Ds by myself so Dh wasn't there to help. Everything depended on me. Then in Ds's first run his dog ran out of the ring and into another ring and Ds was rattled. I had to do damage control. He has mentors and teachers there who also help and give him pep talks, so I'm not completely on my own. Anyway, the whole thing is so intense for me. I worry about how the Dc are going to do, how they're going to handle it, how I'll manage with all the little details of getting there, finding everything. And, of course, I am exhausted after the whole thing is over. And, I think, knowing how it will affect me makes it even more stressful b/c I anticipate. Then I worry that my inability to cope will affect Dc. That it will limit what they are able to do and that I'll give my nervousness to them. They are learning tons from 4H and their experiences with dogs, and it's not something they are going to be giving up. Ds is learning how to cope with what is and not get upset when things don't go his way. I get nervous when they compete or give speeches in other areas too, so it isn't just the dogs. Ds competes in a 4H State Dog Quiz Bowl every year and often I feel like I have to leave the room b/c I'm so nervous for him. Then when I do leave the room I can't stand that I don't know what's happening. :willy_nilly: Just wondering if any of you have these issues b/c of illness. I'm thankful that I'm even able to do what I am for Dc. If it weren't for Dh's willingness to attend most of these events I know Dc would be limited in their participation, and I'm thankful that I'm able to do what I can b/c a few years ago I was confined to bed or the couch and there is no way I could have done it. Still, I wish I could enjoy these things more and not be so stressed. I'm working on it and hoping I'll get better at coping. Do any of you deal with these sorts of things? Absolutely. I have more anxiety now than ever before. Some, which I posted about previously I think, being health related anxiety. To the point of convincing myself I have some rare, crazy disease that is not even usually seen in people my age. I remember a doctor's appointment where my doctor looked at me and said, "You have enough serious stuff going on......stop worrying about all this other garbage because other than your serious stuff, you are fine." That was what finally helped me look beyond some of the anxiety. I've noticed that the anxiety is worse when I'm not getting out of the house enough or not relating with others enough. For some reason in recent years, there are times when I just get depressed and become a recluse. This is obviously a vicious cycle because if I'm a recluse, the problem just perpetuates itself. So when I start feeling like that I try to talk to my husband and a close friend so I have someone checking in on me to make sure I'm not setting myself up for disaster, kwim? I think stress, which makes a lot of chronic illnesses worse, messes with your head, too. That's why I'm really thankful for this thread right now. I spent a bunch of time in the hospital in January. It actually wasn't related to my illnesses. I had a kidney stone that required two surgeries which made me miserable. I had to have a stint put in after the surgery and it was horribly uncomfortable. I was not a very pleasant person to be around. Right after I started to feel like myself again, my 9 yo was admitted to the hospital to have an open appendectomy. We are in the process of making a decision on a move because our lease ends soon and we don't want to stay in Southern California. Plus, my kids are enrolled in a charter, which is parent choice. We choose the curricula, but we answer to a teacher. To say it has been a miserable experience is a nice way to put it. Our teacher is good, but all the paperwork and meetings and testing has been driving me nuts. Plus, I'm a full time student. I've been working on finishing my bachelor's, which is almost complete. I just feel like my life has been crazy lately. Like I can't breathe from all the different directions I'm being pulled. We moved to Cali so that we would have help from family....at least that was the promise, but it couldn't be further from the truth. This is why we are looking at moving. It is so expensive to live here and since family isn't really that helpful, we want to move elsewhere. (Don't even get me started about how we do no fit in here.....even in the homeschool communities. We live in a very materialistic, snobbish community. I've been miserable despite trying to make the best of it and doing my best to be friendly.) Anyway, I probably said way too much. This is the first time someone besides my husband has heard all this because I don't have anyone else who is supportive....not even family. (Not that our families are bad or anything, they just don't understand how hard things have been for me and I just get so tired of saying the same thing over and over.) I hope this answers your question....although I'm sure it was too much. It does feel better to get that off my chest though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Andrea :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: You are dealing with an awful lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Andrea :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: You are dealing with an awful lot. :iagree: More hugs... :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: too bad they are only virtual! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I have an increase in pain today and I feel like I might be getting sick. :glare: Ugh! And I am scheduled to teach public speaking tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Just popping in to send warm wishes to all. Dealing with sick kids here, and that's taking all my energy. DH is out of town, so it's on me, and I'm pooped. Hugs and hoping everyone is having one of the glorious good days today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 How was everyone's weekend? Any updates? How are you today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 The antibiotic I started on Saturday kicked in very fast. Felt much better Sunday and almost normal today. I probably should have started Friday. I didn't have the typical signs of a bacterial infection but I think it was because it was in deep sinuses and not showing. So I am in the in between time, starting to hurt more but less sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I am right there with you, Mary Ann, both about the weather and the amount of appointments. Today I had one with her church school and have a medical appointment for me soon. Tomorrow it is back to dd's orthopedists- where we find out what the diagnosis is and treatment- which will include PT but may also include surgery, Wednesday is allergy shot. Thursday is pain clinic for me. Friday is no medical, so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty Social Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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