Going through a rough patch--anyone put their kids in PS until babies grow up?

[Peplophoros]

I know, another "can I do this?" post...but for the past 3 weeks I've had some seriously bad days. Yelling at the kids, losing my temper as the slightest things. I'm desperate for a break and all I can think about is stopping homeschooling. The baby and 3 year old make everything impossible. We don't do science, we don't do music, we don't do all things I want us to do. My kids are actually learning a lot--my oldest is quite gifted, so that makes it easier, but most days I feel like a failure and am in tears almost daily because of it.

 

Has anyone put their kids is PS for a year or two to wait out the baby stage? Will I not want to return to homeschooling? Need a little encouragement if you have the time :)

[JudoMom]

You are in a hard, hard stage. Give yourself grace. I wish I had stopped focusing on my failures when my boys were little, and instead focused on the things that went right. I wish I would've enjoyed them more instead of beating myself up for not being perfect. There were years we didn't do science (or only did a handful of lessons). We didn't do projects--during good years we did the SOTW coloring pages and maps, and the not so good years we just listened to the CDs in the van. I'm surprised at how much my boys learned anyway.

 

There were days when I considered putting them in school, but then I realized that the morning rush and after school rush would not be any easier. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I always aimed for getting math and reading/phonics done. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

[boscopup]

Your oldest is 7? What about just doing the basics and not worrying about science and music right now? Those subjects aren't heavily taught in lower elementary in public schools anyway. If you drop them this year and pick them back up in a couple years, it won't hurt the kids. Just get science books for the kids to read on their own, and call it good. You said yourself that your kids are learning a lot. That says to me that you're not a failure. ;)

 

If your kids are ahead, take a BREAK! Relax. Get into a groove with baby. Do some reading aloud as you're able. Establish a good nap routine. Then slowly add back the most important subjects. Get library books (using the HOLD system!) on science and history topics that your 7 year old can read on his own. Your baby will grow up. :)

 

My first year homeschooling, my youngest was 18 months. Boy was that an awful age! But you know what? My son learned a lot. We didn't do science projects out History projects or art, but he learned and at least liked homeschool better than private school (where he was bored). 2 years later, things are so much easier! I'm glad I stuck with it.

[mamamindy]

:grouphug:

 

Just wanted to say that I know how you feel. And, what great advice from JudoMom! :) Make sure to take breaks when you can (just for YOU), just keep on loving on your kids (I am sure you love your kids, I just mean being intentional) and really that is the best thing you can do for them. They will learn. And, so you know, I'm reminding myself this daily because it IS hard when you have these responsibilities.

[MinivanMom]

I have no real advice. I understand and it does get better as the littlest gets older. My baby is 9 months now and I can't begin to tell how much easier and smoother our days are now compared to just a few months ago. It helps me to get good sleep (easier said than done), alone time, and exercise time. It also helps to spend time with my public school friends. I just keep my mouth shut and listen to their complaints. Nothing helps me as much as hearing them complain about how stressful the morning rush and evening homework sessions are with little babies around. It helps me get some perspective. Having lots of small children is hard work whether you are homeschooling for two hours in the morning or supervising two hours of homework in the evening. It is a short season in my life. I'm going to enjoy the good things and try to remember that it will get easier over time.

[poiema]

Your oldest is 7? What about just doing the basics and not worrying about science and music right now? Those subjects aren't heavily taught in lower elementary in public schools anyway. If you drop them this year and pick them back up in a couple years, it won't hurt the kids. Just get science books for the kids to read on their own, and call it good. You said yourself that your kids are learning a lot. That says to me that you're not a failure. ;)

 

If your kids are ahead, take a BREAK! Relax. Get into a groove with baby. Do some reading aloud as you're able. Establish a good nap routine. Then slowly add back the most important subjects. Get library books (using the HOLD system!) on science and history topics that your 7 year old can read on his own. Your baby will grow up. :)

 

 

Exactly what I was going to say (only better said)!

 

ETA: My ds seems to learn more from reading books than from me anyway. Pick up books in science, history, art, music...whatever you don't have time to teach.

[North Coast School]

Also want to add that it IS okay to send your older kids to PS if you need to! My DD is very strong-willed, difficult to homeschool, and learning delayed. We have done "one year on, one year off" homeschool with her since preschool and she has done really well with it. She knows kids in both groups (she is over-the-top social) and I work hard to keep her homeschool connections while she is in school. This year is a "school year" and she is pretty sure that she wants to homeschool next year, so we'll just go with the flow. School for a year or two does not ruin homeschool. Most likely your older kids will want to come back to homeschool as soon as you are ready.

 

It can be hard for mommy/teacher to give up control, and believe me, you will HATE doing "homework" in the evenings, but the quiet mornings and afternoons make up for it most days. Plus, this year alone schooling my DS has been such a gift for him AND me. Your little ones are important, too, and they may enjoy having a year where it's just you and them and no homeschool.

 

Yes, you CAN do it. But it is also okay to use school when you need to. Don't beat yourself up either way. Your kids are going to do well! They have a great mom who is caring for them AND herself.

[Crimson Wife]

Do you have a spare room where you could put an au pair? They are a relatively inexpensive way to get help with your little ones while you HS your olders. I know several HS families who have an au pair to watch their babies & toddlers. Getting an au pair is one of the preconditions I've set for my DH, who really, really wants a 4th child.

[Runningmom80]

I know, another "can I do this?" post...but for the past 3 weeks I've had some seriously bad days. Yelling at the kids, losing my temper as the slightest things. I'm desperate for a break and all I can think about is stopping homeschooling. The baby and 3 year old make everything impossible. We don't do science, we don't do music, we don't do all things I want us to do. My kids are actually learning a lot--my oldest is quite gifted, so that makes it easier, but most days I feel like a failure and am in tears almost daily because of it.

 

Has anyone put their kids is PS for a year or two to wait out the baby stage? Will I not want to return to homeschooling? Need a little encouragement if you have the time :)

 

 

I don't have any advice, but I wrote a long blog post about this exact feeling yesterday. Link in my siggy if you are interested.

 

 

I can relate, it's hard, we can do it!

[Peplophoros]

Thanks for entertaining my pity-party! A little perspective does a mom good!

[Stellalarella]

Yes, I sent my older children to PS while i had babies. And as much as I am grateful to be homeschooling now, in hindsight, I can see how it was a healthy decision for all of us that the older children went to PS. I agonized over the decision, thinking that I should be able to do it all, but in the end, through prayer, I saw God helping us make the decision to PS.

Our PS experience allowed us to have a voice in our community, it allowed our children to experience a multicultural environment, they did get a good education, and I learned from their educational experience.

 

With all due kindness, i believe it is a wise woman who can sit down and calculate the hours it will take in a day to do what will be needed and expected. A family needs to be fed, bathed, laundry must be done, babies fed and nursed, naps administered :), bills paid--and within that scope, babies are very needy. They don't take a number and quietly wait in line while mom finishes up that narration with big brother on Mary Poppins.

 

i'm saying this because I am in the trenches right now--six wonderful kids between 4 and 14; when I get think about what I would have been like had I been homeschooling them while i was pregnant, nursing, or up all night with infants, I feel faint.

 

On the other hand, one of my children had the situation of having two expectant mothers as teachers during his 6 years in PS. Did he live? Yes. Did he have unqualified subs? Yep. Were his teachers very tired and did they miss a lot of school? Yep. So, i guess there's no guarantee that a child will have energetic and available teachers at PS, either.

 

I just know that for myself, a person who struggles with worry over whether or not I am "getting it all done," that I am very glad I was not homeschooling while also birthing and adopting babies.

 

And I think we need to be gracefully realistic that a pregant woman, a woman who has just given birth, or someone caring for a newborn does not operate at 100% strength. Being graceful about it with others and with our pregnant selves is one of the ways that we support and honor the gift of new life.

[JenC3]

I actually vote for putting the youngers in school:) My 4 yr old is in preschool 3-4 hours a day and it's great. She will do the same for Kindy next year and then will come home to start academic 1st grade. She is not advanced like my older dd. Ds is easy AND hard to homeschool, being pg has been hard, but we are getting through the year. Most of the newborn phase will be in the summer and I've toned down my plans for next year. Dd will have half independent work and ds will be done in he mornin hours. I can HS with an under 1 yr old, but I will hire a mother's helper for 2014-2015!

[boscopup]

Another thing I should mention... When my oldest was in school and I had two little ones at home, it was actually HARDER because a) there is the morning rush with a newborn and an obstinate 3 year old... DS1 was tardy *12 times* the first semester of first grade <hanging head in shame>, and b ) while big kid was at school, I was now at home with the little ones and NO HELP!!!!! I was amazed at how much my 5-6 year old helped with baby and 3 year old!

 

And yeah, there is the homework thing... doing homework during the "witching hour" of the hour before dinner. That was awful. That's what finally pushed me over to homeschooling. I could do our hour of schooling in the MORNING when everyone was happy and alert, or I could do all that homework while fixing dinner and dealing with screaming, hungry, melting down little ones. :tongue_smilie:

 

So yeah, if *everyone* were going to school, you'd get a break and get some rest, but with the most difficult kids still being at home, I don't know that it will help you to put the older ones in school.

[lovinmyboys]

Well, I did put my 1st grader in school this year. I homeschooled him last year and plan to again next year, but I did feel like it was just too much for this year. It is true that morning rush has been hard, but I think it has still been a good choice for this year. I have been able to really enjoy my 3 younger kids. We joined a moms club and go on field trips a few times a week. I really want to homeschool for the long haul and I just wanted one more year of being able to focus on my little kids.

 

Having said that, homeschooling is definitely doable. Looking back, I put way too much pressure on myself. I think if I would have relaxed, I could have kept him home this year.

 

 

[butterflymommy]

Short answer-- yes I did (catholic school) but one DD is desperately unhappy and wants to HS again. The others are ambivalent and the oldest is going to high school next year. So while I didn't intend for it to be a temporary break I'm now faced with picking up HSing again.

 

HSing can be so brutal on the mom. It's hard to really describe how isolated I felt and how crushing the sense of responsibility (and failure) was. it's not something I want to experience again, but, I want to do what's best for my kids.

 

I can tell you that it doesn't really matter, long term, if you skip music and science for a while. As long as you do the three Rs the rest will come easily when they're interested. That may not be the classical way but it's what I've seen in my kids.

[blessedmom3]

Yes, I did and my four kids were exactly the same age as your dc when I put the two oldest in PS for three months. Best decision I've made! They liked it too,but now if asked, they prefer to stay home. I also wanted to experience ps is in America ( I'm from Europe)

 

It's hard ,but it does get easier. Putting them in PS for a few months so you can have a break won't hurt anyone.