HSinNH Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 ....does not go to public school. She skis on the local middle school ski team and after being around a large group of kids (who all seem to be very nice) for 3-4 hours, she turns into a snide, demanding child. It takes her about 20 minutes to become my sweet girl again. She absolutely loves skiing and being around the other kids, so of course she can continue, but how do parents deal with the decompression every single day ? Anyone else have this experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I agree alot of kids can make influences but it is up to my kid how they act. If this is how they chose to act they would maybe loose this actvity for a while until they could behave. I don't tolerate this kind of stuff at all. My oldest goes to HS and if she does anything along the lines of follow the leader with bad choices she gets in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Yes!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 After school decompression for my ds was beyond terrible. He didnt get home until almost 4:00 and needs to be in bed between 6-7 to be functional! By the time the tantrum stopped i was getting him ready for the bath. There are a lot more tantrums and meltdowns now, but they're shorter in duration and the really bad ones end in a nap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Durriyyah Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I've noticed this with DD1 also! She becomes much more concerned about her hair, how she laughs, and this entitled attitude comes back pretty quick. It's so annoying! Her dad perpetuates the entitled attitude, but the concern about hair, wanting to wear makeup, and all that really only pops up when she's around public school kids her age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 oh my gosh....i'm sorry but your statement really gets me going. so you're going to blame public school for the way your daughter decides to act? please. do you think that it has anything to do with your daughter's personality? My girls were homeschooled, privated schooled and public schooled and they can have an attitude. Why? because they are human beings. It has nothing to do with where they went to school. Yes, kids today can be demanding brats....can be....and not all public schooled kids are. If we teach our children to be kind and have manners all we can do is hope that they are mannerly and kind but it's not always going to be that way. I'M not always kind and mannerly and it's not because i went to public schools! Please rethink your original statement. Homechooling already has a bad taste in most people's mouths and it's statements like yours (OP) that flame the fire and make homeschooling parents sound like ignorant snobs. PS should not get the blame for every little thing that happens these days. It's not fair. there are some very good public schools out there, some very good public school teachers and some very good public school students. Ask me how i know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 oh my gosh....i'm sorry but your statement really gets me going. so you're going to blame public school for the way your daughter decides to act? please. do you think that it has anything to do with your daughter's personality? My girls were homeschooled, privated schooled and public schooled and they can have an attitude. Why? because they are human beings. It has nothing to do with where they went to school. Yes, kids today can be demanding brats....can be....and not all public schooled kids are. If we teach our children to be kind and have manners all we can do is hope that they are mannerly and kind but it's not always going to be that way. I'M not always kind and mannerly and it's not because i went to public schools! Please rethink your original statement. Homechooling already has a bad taste in most people's mouths and it's statements like yours (OP) that flame the fire and make homeschooling parents sound like ignorant snobs. PS should not get the blame for every little thing that happens these days. It's not fair. there are some very good public schools out there, some very good public school teachers and some very good public school students. Ask me how i know. :confused: :confused: :confused: Maybe I read it incorrectly, I didn't interpret Krista's post as being a bash on public schools. My impression was that her dd needed to decompress after being with a large group of kids (as she would be if she went to ps every day.) I didn't think she was blaming public schools for anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 oh my gosh....i'm sorry but your statement really gets me going. so you're going to blame public school for the way your daughter decides to act? please. do you think that it has anything to do with your daughter's personality? My girls were homeschooled, privated schooled and public schooled and they can have an attitude. Why? because they are human beings. It has nothing to do with where they went to school. Yes, kids today can be demanding brats....can be....and not all public schooled kids are. If we teach our children to be kind and have manners all we can do is hope that they are mannerly and kind but it's not always going to be that way. I'M not always kind and mannerly and it's not because i went to public schools! Please rethink your original statement. Homechooling already has a bad taste in most people's mouths and it's statements like yours (OP) that flame the fire and make homeschooling parents sound like ignorant snobs. PS should not get the blame for every little thing that happens these days. It's not fair. there are some very good public schools out there, some very good public school teachers and some very good public school students. Ask me how i know. Wow!!! Her comment was not about Ps, it was about being in a big group of peers for several hours-skiing!!! Calm down. As a former teacher, I will tell you that some children behave very differently in larger groups. Many of us who have preteens are watching our kids' friends become increasingly important and after being in a big group of peers, their behavior can intensify in ways that are not pretty. Chill out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 oh my gosh....i'm sorry but your statement really gets me going. so you're going to blame public school for the way your daughter decides to act? please. do you think that it has anything to do with your daughter's personality? My girls were homeschooled, privated schooled and public schooled and they can have an attitude. Why? because they are human beings. It has nothing to do with where they went to school. Yes, kids today can be demanding brats....can be....and not all public schooled kids are. If we teach our children to be kind and have manners all we can do is hope that they are mannerly and kind but it's not always going to be that way. I'M not always kind and mannerly and it's not because i went to public schools! Please rethink your original statement. Homechooling already has a bad taste in most people's mouths and it's statements like yours (OP) that flame the fire and make homeschooling parents sound like ignorant snobs. PS should not get the blame for every little thing that happens these days. It's not fair. there are some very good public schools out there, some very good public school teachers and some very good public school students. Ask me how i know. She blamed Lance Armstrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 My kids aren't quite old enough to be there yet (but I'm seeing shades of it in my 10 year old), but I remember BEING that way when I was a kid. I would try sooooo hard to fit in, and had to be sooooo guarded around the other kids, that it took time for those thick walls to come down when I was around loving family. I found being around other kids to be terrifying and brutal. (I was a nerdy kid.) I would toss up some super thick walls every morning at school, and it took time for them to come down in the evening. My mother would despair, until she read about the phenomenon in a Doctor Dobson book. Then, she treated me with much more compassion when I came home, instead of telling me to "snap out of it!" She gave me room to decompress. I love that woman so much. As a nerdy kid, school was deeply painful to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mckenna Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I would blame my daughter not the group she was with. Great opp to teach how to decompress without being snide and demanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I agree alot of kids can make influences but it is up to my kid how they act. If this is how they chose to act they would maybe loose this actvity for a while until they could behave. I don't tolerate this kind of stuff at all. My oldest goes to HS and if she does anything along the lines of follow the leader with bad choices she gets in trouble. So it takes a kid 20 minutes to decompress after a demanding physical activity with a bunch of middle schoolers, and she'd be losing the activity until she could "behave"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSinNH Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Uuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm........never mind. :unsure: I wasn't trying to blame anyone (or anything), or ask advice about how to make her "behave." Nobody acts perfectly all the time (including me!) and this just happens to be a time that I do not like to see. DD11 is a good, respectful kid most of the time. I was just looking for a little chat on the Chat Board for a Wednesday morning. No more comments needed. Let's just let this one get buried :thumbup1: shall we? Sorry for any controversy! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 oh my gosh....i'm sorry but your statement really gets me going. so you're going to blame public school for the way your daughter decides to act? please. do you think that it has anything to do with your daughter's personality? My girls were homeschooled, privated schooled and public schooled and they can have an attitude. Why? because they are human beings. It has nothing to do with where they went to school. Yes, kids today can be demanding brats....can be....and not all public schooled kids are. If we teach our children to be kind and have manners all we can do is hope that they are mannerly and kind but it's not always going to be that way. I'M not always kind and mannerly and it's not because i went to public schools! Please rethink your original statement. Homechooling already has a bad taste in most people's mouths and it's statements like yours (OP) that flame the fire and make homeschooling parents sound like ignorant snobs. PS should not get the blame for every little thing that happens these days. It's not fair. there are some very good public schools out there, some very good public school teachers and some very good public school students. Ask me how i know. I don't think she is saying the Public school has anything to do with her personality, but just that being guided by and conforming to age peers all day - instead of parents - can make a difference in how a child acts. I've certainly seen it. I happen to agree with her. Sure there are kids who seem unaffected and remain sweet, but I don't think that is the norm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Her comment was not about Ps, it was about being in a big group of peers for several hours-skiing!!! Calm down. As a former teacher, I will tell you that some children behave very differently in larger groups. Many of us who have preteens are watching our kids' friends become increasingly important and after being in a big group of peers, their behavior can intensify in ways that are not pretty. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 So it takes a kid 20 minutes to decompress after a demanding physical activity with a bunch of middle schoolers, and she'd be losing the activity until she could "behave"? I don't think I stuttered or was unclear in my opinion. If you have to drive me crazy to get to do something you enjoy then you lose that. You choose how to act. My kids make their choices there will be no blaming on others because of it. Yeah she would lose it in this house. My time and my money are not going to be spent on being treated that way, I don't see this as a problem. I see this as teaching a child to be accountable which is sadly lacking in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She blamed Lance Armstrong. This!!!! I almos spit coffee. That's funny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKshanmar Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 We had the same experience with my son, only it was caused by the coach, not the kids! At the time I believe he was a level 9 competitive gymnast, probably around the age of 11 or 12, at they gym for at least 20 hours a week. The coach was a very high level coach (why he was in Alaska? That is a whole 'nother story), with 2 big problems, he prefered the younger boys, who hadn't been "ruined" by the previous coach; and his coaching style involved a lot of belittling, and so forth. Obviously my son was highly frustrated, and he would come home as grumpy as all get out. Mostly, he took out his frustration on his younger brother, every day, both verbally and physically. Everyday. Our hands were tied as far as the coaching situation went. We explored the option of taking him to the next closest gym, an hour away, but it wouldn't work. And so we pulled him out of the program. I told him, that yes, the coach is in the wrong. No doubt about it. But we are worried about your attitude, and your influence in our family. We can't change him (despite visits with him and the owners), and so it up to you to be the adult here, if you want to continue doing gymnastics. He was out for two weeks, which included missing a meet. And then he said "I'm ready to go back." And he was. The attitude was gone, and we had peace in our home again. Part of the "whole 'nother story": The coach had a drinking problem. He spent 5 months in jail, after our gym had hired him, after being charged with his 5th DUI. GREAT! But the younger parents really wanted him back, because he was such a skilled coach. So the owners brought him back, as a sub coach under the 21 year old kid who had replaced him, with daily mentoring with the owner. He was not allowed to drink. This was the period when the above mentioned story happened. We went to the Regional meet in Boise. In the morning right before the coaches meeting, the young coach found the bad coach being kicked out of a bar at 10:00 am. Young coach said "You are fired". Bad coach proceeded to threaten to kill him, kill his wife, his baby... etc. This ended up in a stand-off with the police, and he ended up in jail in Boise. The oldest kid there was 15... the youngest 6. They still had a very big meet in which to compete. Ugh! Young coach was spectacular with the kids, but a mess himself! So... back home in Alaska, another gym hires bad coach to coach girls team. Regulations came down, that a coach with any record would not be allowed on the floor at any meets the next year. The weekend before the girls state meet, he has another confrontation with the police, but this time they shot him and killed him. Dead. I'm not sure my son ever quite knew what to do with the baggage that caused. It was someone he didn't like or respect, but he had worked very hard to learn to work with.... and now he was dead. All those girls didn't know him as "the bad coach", so the police had just killed their "fun" coach... What a tradgedy. Anyway, that was not what my post was really supposed to be about.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 We had the same experience with my son, only it was caused by the coach, not the kids! At the time I believe he was a level 9 competitive gymnast, probably around the age of 11 or 12, at they gym for at least 20 hours a week. The coach was a very high level coach (why he was in Alaska? That is a whole 'nother story), with 2 big problems, he prefered the younger boys, who hadn't been "ruined" by the previous coach; and his coaching style involved a lot of belittling, and so forth. Obviously my son was highly frustrated, and he would come home as grumpy as all get out. Mostly, he took out his frustration on his younger brother, every day, both verbally and physically. Everyday. Our hands were tied as far as the coaching situation went. We explored the option of taking him to the next closest gym, an hour away, but it wouldn't work. And so we pulled him out of the program. I told him, that yes, the coach is in the wrong. No doubt about it. But we are worried about your attitude, and your influence in our family. We can't change him (despite visits with him and the owners), and so it up to you to be the adult here, if you want to continue doing gymnastics. He was out for two weeks, which included missing a meet. And then he said "I'm ready to go back." And he was. The attitude was gone, and we had peace in our home again. Part of the "whole 'nother story": The coach had a drinking problem. He spent 5 months in jail, after our gym had hired him, after being charged with his 5th DUI. GREAT! But the younger parents really wanted him back, because he was such a skilled coach. So the owners brought him back, as a sub coach under the 21 year old kid who had replaced him, with daily mentoring with the owner. He was not allowed to drink. This was the period when the above mentioned story happened. We went to the Regional meet in Boise. In the morning right before the coaches meeting, the young coach found the bad coach being kicked out of a bar at 10:00 am. Young coach said "You are fired". Bad coach proceeded to threaten to kill him, kill his wife, his baby... etc. This ended up in a stand-off with the police, and he ended up in jail in Boise. The oldest kid there was 15... the youngest 6. They still had a very big meet in which to compete. Ugh! Young coach was spectacular with the kids, but a mess himself! So... back home in Alaska, another gym hires bad coach to coach girls team. Regulations came down, that a coach with any record would not be allowed on the floor at any meets the next year. The weekend before the girls state meet, he has another confrontation with the police, but this time they shot him and killed him. Dead. I'm not sure my son ever quite knew what to do with the baggage that caused. It was someone he didn't like or respect, but he had worked very hard to learn to work with.... and now he was dead. All those girls didn't know him as "the bad coach", so the police had just killed their "fun" coach... What a tradgedy. Anyway, that was not what my post was really supposed to be about.... This sounds like a tale for the Jerry Springer Show! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 What the $&@;-!? is happening in this thread? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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