whenever my sister has my house to herself......

[LaxMom]

I would be really annoyed as well. Her actions seem to be very intrusive (unless she tends to be absent minded and goes into an automatic mode a lot?)

 

However, the real reason I opened this thread because this is what I "read" in preview: "My sister stopped feeding my pets. She cleaned my horse." :eek: I need a coffee!

 

Now, don't you think that would have been much worse? :001_cool:

Under-caffeinated literacy at its finest. :D

[Guest submarines]

I can see doing it on accident, opening or closing the blinds for another reason & doing it 'your way' out of habit. But all the blinds in the house?

 

If she has OCD, she might need to do it for all of them, once she did the first set.

[Guest submarines]

Under-caffeinated literacy at its finest. :D

 

I adore the term. I'll have to use it. :coolgleamA:

[Impish]

I'm very territorial when it comes to my house.

 

I'm ok w/a friend helping me, when it's offered...well, ok to a point. It takes a lot for me to get past the feeling of shame and humiliation that I need the help.

 

Anyways.

 

The thought of someone in my house when I'm not would be a huge issue for me...and that's *just* for the pet sitting. But to come home and find things altered? I'd do a nut.

 

I've found that I've gotten a heck of a lot more uptight about my house since RSD. Probably b/c of the lack of control in dealing w/it, that my house has become a serious sanctuary for me, so someone coming in and changing things would be very upsetting.

 

I don't care if the kids make messes or anything like that...it's the idea of someone else taking away what little impact/control I feel like I have that would freak me out.

 

You just don't impose your views/ways on someone else's house.

[Dmmetler]

First of all, this is OTT, I agree, and I'd find another pet sitter. Are you in a Homeschool group? I've had good luck finding older kids/teens who want to earn a little extra spending money and are GLAD to feed my pets. For quite a few years I had a homeschooled teen who'd pack her schoolwork and come over and spend several hours in my house, doing work and petting cats (I started stocking snacks for her after her mom asked if it was OK that she did this). She was the oldest of several kids, and just loved the quiet!

 

Having said that, before we moved here I used a professional service when we traveled, and one of the things the lady who owned it asked was where she could find the broom, where dishes went, etc. Her reason was this-cats tend to hide when someone comes in unless they know that person quite well, and if you go to look for them, you scare them. So, she'd come in, put out the cat food, scoop litter, and then do other light housekeeping until the cats came out to see her-nothing involving lots of noise or chemicals, but things like folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, and so on. So, I'd come back and my kitchen, which was usually OK before we left, would be spotless, all the books would be facing the same way on the shelves, everything in the living room would be dusted, etc-the longer the trip, the cleaner everything would be. She never moved anything around (or if she did, it was by accident when unloading dishes or something like that), and didn't do anything in the bedrooms or office-only the "public" areas of the house. I have to say, I appreciated the help. I do, though, appreciate being able to pay a 12 yr old $5/ day for what I was paying her $35/day for, and having them be thrilled to get it more.

[lailasmum]

Whenever my sister comes to stay she moves and rearranges every thing. She just can't help herself. We spend ages trying to track stuff down. I am pretty blunt with her about it but she still does it.

[TranquilMind]

'Bean':

I was recently on vacation and while I was gone my sister stopped by to feed my pets. Not only that, but she took it upon herself to "clean" my house. Admittedly my sister is a better housekeeper than I am, but I cleaned my house before I left.

 

 

Well, when I started reading this, I was going to say, "Awesome. Can she come to my house?" Until...

 

For one, I set my heat to stay at 65. I told her to manually turn it up if she planned on staying, but to turn it back down. Well, instead of doing this manually she changed my automatic settings. My thermostat has 4 settings for each day. She changed them all to 66.

 

 

Another thing is, she and I disagree on which way mini-blinds should be. I like them so the "rounded" part is facing in. ... She changed all my blinds in my house.

 

 

 

She took all of my kids' special blankets (they were made by my MIL) and laid them all over the furniture in the house. Why, I have no idea.

 

 

 

She also apparently sprayed whatever body spray she uses all over my house

 

While the other things you mentioned did not seem entirely unreasonable for someone to do while cleaning someone else's house (assuming that in itself is reasonable under the circumstances), the ones above just made me laugh. What???

 

These are not normal cleaning things that rabid cleaners do. They are just ...out there. Funny (but not to you, I bet).

 

 

 

 

She did a great job taking care of the pets so I'm not going to complain, but I just needed to vent about this. It's *my* house and I like it *my* way. I could never imagine doing any of this in her house!!

 

I totally agree with you. This is just bizarre.

[kitten18]

Yes. Helpful: Go in to feed cats. Open dishwasher to put cat feeding related implement in, and realize the dishes are clean. Put dishes away, guessing where some of them go. Not helpful: Go in to feed cats. Go room to room looking for all the things the home owner does "wrong" so you can "fix". Understandable: Adjust the thermostat so you are more comfortable while feeding cats. Control issues: Change 28 settings on the thermostat ONE degree.

Exactly. :iagree:

[HappyLady]

Thanks for all the great responses! To answer some of your questions, she's actually younger than me. I don't think she has OCD, but she's just always considered herself a better housekeeper than I am so whatever way she does it "must" be right. Actually, she's like that with pretty much anything when it comes to me. Her famous line with me is, "You know what you gotta do?" And I know "gotta" isn't a word, but that's what she says. LOL

 

I know she was trying to help by cleaning, but "cleaning" to me would have been to dust or mop or vacuum, not change how I like my house. I appreciate her help, or anyone that helps for that matter, but she does these things purposely. When I called her out on rearranging my utensil drawer once she said my way "wasn't right." How can it be wrong?? I swear, every time I go to her house and need to get a spoon or fork I'm so tempted to rearrange everything. :) And every time she sees me close my blinds she tells me I'm doing it wrong.

 

Normally my DH's brother takes care of our animals for us, but for the first time since I've known my DH he and his brother weren't on the best of terms. They're fine now, but I had to ask my sister as she was my only other option. Trust me, because of what she's done to my house in the past I didn't want to ask her and don't plan on it ever again.

 

I'm not going to say anything to her about this, but I still think it takes a lot of nerve to change things in a person's home, family or not.

[kitten18]

 

 

I know she was trying to help by cleaning, but "cleaning" to me would have been to dust or mop or vacuum, not change how I like my house.

Yes. I think this is precisely the issue. What she did is NOT cleaning, it is rearranging. It's not o.k. to go into someone's home and rearrange because you think they do it wrong.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would welcome someone coming in and cleaning something if they were getting my house back into the way I had it. I would not welcome someone changing the way I had it unless they asked me first.

[gardenmom5]

My mom is like this and she is no longer allowed in my home alone and we don't leave the kids with her anymore because she takes it upon herself to immediately start talking to them about things like sex, drugs, and God as soon as we leave the room.

 

she's doing it wrong. it's supposed to be sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll ;p

 

Whenever my sister comes to stay she moves and rearranges every thing. She just can't help herself. We spend ages trying to track stuff down. I am pretty blunt with her about it but she still does it.

when mil used to be allowed to spend time in my house and would rearrange things, I would think of the stupidest place something could be - and there it was.

[mellifera33]

Why would someone with OCD put all the blinds up backwards?

 

 

Well...someone might theoretically think that when the blinds are pointed down the sun can shine in and fade the carpet.

 

Rearranging all of your stuff is kind of weird. But the fact that you noticed tells me that your housekeeping skills are not lacking. If someone came over and rearranged my stuff, I probably wouldn't notice much of it, and what I did notice I'd chalk up to a "keys in the fridge" moment. I would be a very disappointing subject if someone was doing it to get my goat.

[Harriet Vane]

Thanks for all the great responses! To answer some of your questions, she's actually younger than me. I don't think she has OCD, but she's just always considered herself a better housekeeper than I am so whatever way she does it "must" be right. Actually, she's like that with pretty much anything when it comes to me. Her famous line with me is, "You know what you gotta do?" And I know "gotta" isn't a word, but that's what she says. LOL

 

I know she was trying to help by cleaning, but "cleaning" to me would have been to dust or mop or vacuum, not change how I like my house. I appreciate her help, or anyone that helps for that matter, but she does these things purposely. When I called her out on rearranging my utensil drawer once she said my way "wasn't right." How can it be wrong?? I swear, every time I go to her house and need to get a spoon or fork I'm so tempted to rearrange everything. :) And every time she sees me close my blinds she tells me I'm doing it wrong.

 

Normally my DH's brother takes care of our animals for us, but for the first time since I've known my DH he and his brother weren't on the best of terms. They're fine now, but I had to ask my sister as she was my only other option. Trust me, because of what she's done to my house in the past I didn't want to ask her and don't plan on it ever again.

 

I'm not going to say anything to her about this, but I still think it takes a lot of nerve to change things in a person's home, family or not.

 

 

Whether or not you talk to her about her rearrangement of your house, you might consider calling her out on this behavior. It's unbelievably rude and presumptuous. If she rearranges your silverware drawer, can you say to her, as you fix it right in front of her, "It is rude to change things in another persons' home. It's not wrong just because it's not done your way. DO NOT rearrange my things." I would be tempted to do this each and every time she touched my stuff. I'm really open mouthed at the sheer nerve. In reading your original post, I reacted by thinking it lacks boundaries but perhaps she meant well. However, your newest post leaves me gobsmacked--her behavior is really out of line.

[Galatea]

When I called her out on rearranging my utensil drawer once she said my way "wasn't right." How can it be wrong?? I swear, every time I go to her house and need to get a spoon or fork I'm so tempted to rearrange everything. :) And every time she sees me close my blinds she tells me I'm doing it wrong.

 

 

If this really is an ongoing issue, next time you're at her house, you SHOULD rearrange her utensil drawer and then tell her it "wasn't right." Some people just don't learn until they're on the receiving end.

[gardenmom5]

 

Whether or not you talk to her about her rearrangement of your house, you might consider calling her out on this behavior. It's unbelievably rude and presumptuous. If she rearranges your silverware drawer, can you say to her, as you fix it right in front of her, "It is rude to change things in another persons' home. It's not wrong just because it's not done your way. DO NOT rearrange my things." I would be tempted to do this each and every time she touched my stuff. I'm really open mouthed at the sheer nerve. In reading your original post, I reacted by thinking it lacks boundaries but perhaps she meant well. However, your newest post leaves me gobsmacked--her behavior is really out of line.

my mil is just like this woman's sister. pointing things out is a major waste of time and breath as they don't care or listen even if you are standing right in front of them while they do it to their liking - let alone when you leave your home undefended.

[lovinmomma]

Have you seen the movie Sleeping with the Enemy? This post reminds me of the controlling abusive husband. *shiver*

 

My mom is like this and she is no longer allowed in my home alone and we don't leave the kids with her anymore because she takes it upon herself to immediately start talking to them about things like sex, drugs, and God as soon as we leave the room.

 

 

Gasp... are we sisters??? My Mom is the same way. My mom would also have done/has done. Honestly, I don't get too worked up about the house stuff. I'm so used to it and we don't live in the same state anymore.

[idnib]

when mil used to be allowed to spend time in my house and would rearrange things, I would think of the stupidest place something could be - and there it was.

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: