Consequences for procrastination or lack of diligence regarding schoolwork?

[momee]

I shouldn't be dealing with this issue at this stage of the game, I know, but we are too often facing problems in this area. It's the monster mocking me as the year is about to begin.

 

We're a grace Full (I hope) family trying to raise our children to be diligent and proud of their work but we're really struggling with conquering this one.

 

I would love to hear how you all are training and encouraging your kids in getting their work done WELL the first time.

 

I would also love to hear what their consequences are for not doing so.

 

We have attempted to keep ds from activity if his work isn't complete (missing practice, sitting out from blackberry picking) but these things have their downsides. Missing practice affects the team and eliminates his much needed social opportunity. I have a horrible time making him sit out for family time as this punishes all of us and that's just not fair. I want the consequence to be effective yet not have an implication to my other children (they're not struggling in the obedience/diligence area).

 

I cannot have this child consuming all of my time/energy just to get his work done. Please post your most positive methods.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

I don't have any advice as I'm struggling with the same thing with one of my kids. I'm all ears.:bigear:

[Sasharowan]

The one thing that we do is to have them stay in there seats except for bathroom or if we have to go somewhere until schoolwork is done and if it isn't completed by Fri. eve, they have to work all weekend. If it is my fault (too many errands or too hard work) or no-one's fault (sickness usually) I will be lax but if it is their fault (too much playing or whining, sheer unwillingness to work) They are stuck there. Move the books for eating, that's it. That means no tv, no video games, no outside play. We do go to team sports because that is a commitment to someone else. Once I even made them bring their work to a playdate and do it there. Never had to do that again. I also have a rule in place that after 3pm, I am only mom not teacher, so they work on their own.

[ThelmaLou]

In our family, the lucky ducks who work diligently and rapidly have the reward of only having to complete a day's work in a day.

 

Those who lag behind (not every once in a while, but consistently and due to their own refusal to work hard) keep getting extra work tacked on to their list, whether it be a double daily lesson in that particular subject, extra time spent practicing piano, additional chores, etc...When I say, "That has now cost you 10 more minutes practicing piano. If you continue to neglect your duties it will be an additional 20 minutes, then it will be completing your brother's chores....and so on."

 

Also, while I don't relish the thought that my children to have to suffer for one another's shortcomings, I consider this valuable training. When my boys are on relay teams at swim meets, they learn the value of team work. They know that when they don't swim their leg of the relay well, the entire team suffers. Likewise, they know what it's like to suffer the consequences of one of their team members not swimming up to par. Sometimes the extra efforts of the other 3 on the relay team are enough to take up the slack for the one who's not doing so hot. Sometimes it's just not enough and they all take their lumps for the sake of the team.

 

I don't know if this is the kind of advice you were looking for, but I really *am* able to find some value when one child's actions impact the rest of the family. It serves as a cautionary tale for those who *are* following instructions. They see how their brother's actions cost the "team" and are reminded that what they do has an impact on others. The team suffering for the actions of one individual has so many applications...as does the team rallying around one individual. Church, career, neighborhood, community, family, sports, etc...

[mommylawyer]

For me, I learned early on that I have to keep our school room separate from the rest of the house. In other words, they are not allowed to play in the school room unless it is related to school. I also have a reward system in place to encourage my 5 year old to stay focused.

 

I've also learned that taking a 5 minute break every 45 minutes or so really does help her stay focused during our school work time.

 

Although, it is hard for my 5 year old to stay on task when her 20 month old sister is pulling her hair or putting a babydoll in her face.

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

The main thing about consequences is that they only work if you reinforce them..LOL...just ask me how I learned this ingenius concept (grin).

 

You didn't mention the ages of your dc, so I'll try to give you our methods of what I call "encouragement." (smile)

 

For quality work:

 

Nothing works better than having them redo the job. Homework & chores fall under this category. Just ask my 11 yo boy how many times he had to sweep the dining room floor the other night. I didn't inspect his job until later on...when he was in bed about ready to go to sleep. It wasn't too thrilling to him when I asked him to remove his cozy blanket and re-sweep the floor....4 times. I think he was trying to call my bluff each time he put the broom away and retired to bed. I'm not asking for Ritz Carlton quality here...just all food particles and dirt to be swept and disposed of.

 

9 yob had to re-write some copywork yesterday. This is enough to make him feel like he is being tortured. I mentioned to him in a matter of fact way that I only expect perfection (LOL). Really, I just want them to do their best. He was having one of "those" days, if you kwim.

 

To teach our kids self-motivation to do jobs right and thoroughly, we give them a clear expectation, and then resolve to keep them accountable. Sigh. It doesn't work if you don't do that.

 

My boys get excited when it is their assigned computer day (once per week each, for one hour). They often rush to the computer at their designated time. Before they are allowed to play, they are asked if

 

1. Their room is cleaned and tidy (clothes put away, all items off the floor and put in their proper place)
   
2. Their jobs are all completed.
   
3. Schoolwork is done (a teacher check is required usually)

If we see a tendency to not do the work to specifications, we will add more chores. We try not to get dramatic about it. I do not forwarn them either. After their usual chore time, I'll say "Oh, btw so-and-so, you need to vacuum out the van (shudder...not a job for the weak) or sweep the outside walk and cement pad." I try to give the undesirable jobs to the slackers in the house. Another one of those is taking care of the chicken pen or doing the dishes.

 

I consider schoolwork and daily chores to coincide with each other when it comes to expectations.

 

When I get lazy, so do they! (frown)

 

Blessings,

Camy

[WTMindy]

I agree with a lot of what Camy said. The consequence for sloppy work is to redo it all-even the parts that are OK. This produces great hysteria, and complaints, and takes time, and is a pain....but it works. It is is chores, I make them re-do it, and add another chore. It is school, I usually just make them redo it.

 

I would not punish by taking away practice or team events, but I wouldn't let them do any fun things if the work wasn't done. No friends, no TV, no computer. They would have to work in the evening to catch up.

 

One thing that helps is to be where they are while they are working. It isn't very often that my ds will have to redo a whole math assignment, because I can see after 2 or 3 problems that he isn't putting his best effort into it, and so I stop him right away. I am in the school room with the kids the whole time we are doing school. I can fold laundry, plan lessons, do computer stuff, but I try to be right there to keep them on track the whole time. My ds still needs this. My dd would be fine without me there.

[farmgirlinwv]

I've been reading many books on this of late. My dd is 11 and has LD's, not severe, but still...She has a hard time w/ all these things. I know her better than anyone and it is not due to laziness or stubborness or manipulation. She reallly can't organize herself and she reallly doesn't think she can do the assigned task well. So...what do you do in this case? Well, I'm going to take some ideas for various sources and try them out.

 

For schoolwork a rewards system...I will use some kind of chips...blue 5 pts, yellow 10pts, green 25 pts, orange 100 pts. This will help w/ math as well. I will make a list of little cheap items she can "buy" or a list of larger items to "save" her pts for. Little items may be stickers, gum, dollar store stuff, hersheys kiss, ect. Bigger stuff may be McD's lunch, new book, new notebook, ect. Stuff I know she likes. In the beginning I'm going to reward liberally for compliance and effort because I know that it is truely difficult for her. Then I'll gradually back off on it. I think children will improve once they see that they can. Many dc w/ issues don't believe they can do better. ONce they see that it is possible this will motivate them as well. This probably wouldn't work w/ all dc. Taking everything away from her doesn't work either. She has not learned how to control her impulses. When she tells me she won't do something she means it. Then she forgets. It's not malicious in her case. Though I'm sure w/ some dc it may be.

 

It's a difficult situation. Good luck finding something that works for you guys.

 

Lisa

[Sue G in PA]

I agree w/ the other posters about redoing sloppy work. I've done this in the past and although met w/ major tears and complaints (temper tantrums at times), it worked. Work was much neater next time. My kids frequently rush through chores, doing them "halfway" or incompletely. Somebody here suggested making them not only redo that chore until it met inspection but giving extra chores as a sort of "training". When chores are done incompletely or sloppily it is obvious the dc needs more practice in doing things well. Around here we are adopting the biblical mandate of doing all things as to the Lord. I, myself, need some help in that area b/c I've been known to complain through a job or "play the martyr" by grumbling about how I have to do everything. While that is partly true :glare: it is not 100% accurate. So, we all need help in this area.

 

Around here, school work that isn't completed on time (w/in the given time period) will result in the loss of screen time, video game time, phone time, etc. We don't take away things like sports practices or games or family outings. You were right about that...it just interferes w/ too many other people. Taking away screen time and video game time until school work is complete usually lights a fire under the dawdlers bottom! Honestly, we are in the same boat, though. My kids still grumble and complain but I'm learning it's all a process. They will eventually get better w/ consistent consequences on my part.

[Christine]

We have attempted to keep ds from activity if his work isn't complete (missing practice, sitting out from blackberry picking) but these things have their downsides. Missing practice affects the team and eliminates his much needed social opportunity. I have a horrible time making him sit out for family time as this punishes all of us and that's just not fair. I want the consequence to be effective yet not have an implication to my other children (they're not struggling in the obedience/diligence area).

 

This is what we do.

 

Of course, the whole "not fair to the team". . .I figure my family is the most important "team" my child is part of. (Coaches hate me.)

 

One thing I learned though, is that my children determined that our family was the most important segment of life that they wanted to be part of.

 

After consisentently missing out on certain things, they came around.

 

What really stinks, is the punishment inflicted on the offender generally also caused me to miss out on a lot. I discovered the hardest thing was for me to realize that I had to follow through on the punishment even though it meant I was getting "punished" as well. Hard pill to swallow. . .

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

As for quality work- if it's messy you are going to do it over again. If there are mistakes, you will correct them. If the paper is full of mistakes, we need to repeat the lesson or look at the lesson in a new way and keep practicing until it's understood.

 

I don't care how long it takes her to do her work. If she wants to daydream and stare at the ceiling, so be it. but- there is no TV, computer, video games, playing outside, calling or IMing friends, guests, or activity with pets until school is done, or an appropriate amount has been declared homework to be done after dinner. If homework isn't done, she gets a zero, just like any other kid.

 

If we have consistent problems with school, dd has to have a talk with "the principal" when he gets home.

 

There was one time that I made dd miss dance. She was being disrespectful, I warned her that she was going to miss dance if she continued, she said, "I don't care." Guess what- she really DID care. :tongue_smilie:

[Peela]

I sit in the room and encourage and prompt and sometimes nag. That seems to help somewhat. I don't leave the homeschooling room for much.

 

Does he respond to stickers, stars, praise, choc chips, money? I have used all these at times to enourage some motivation.

 

I also had to learn to not expect the same standard from both my children. I often felt my son didn't try hard, was sure he must be able to write more neatly, couldn't relate to his inability to remember things we only just did the day before. My other child is a natural good student. But forcing and nagging and bullying him just didnt work, he was doing HIS best. And he was eventually diagnosed with dyslexia.

 

Now, at 12, he suddenly has the sweetest, neatest handwriting. I never thought it would happen- I had resigned myself to him just being someone with band handwriting for life. He takes a looooooong time to write, but I am patient, because it is change in the right direction. He has suddenly become proud of his writing, and he wants to do well, he tries hard. He is actually a terrible perfectionist who would rather do really badly, as in, not try at all, that try and not do well. I give him so much encouragement, daily, to keep trying.

 

I don't know if that's at all relevent to your situation, just thought I would share.

[Chris in VA]

ITA here. A child who sees his behaviour effect the whole family is a child who learns he does not live in isolation. My df Jane says she teaches her kids their lives are like stones thrown into a pond--the ripples affect everyone around them, some they don't even know.

My hubby calls it the need for a Copernican Revolution--finding out you are not the center of the universe.

 

Make it stick, even if it hurts everyone else, and bring up the fact that he effects everyone by his disobedience.

[keptwoman]

The one thing that we do is to have them stay in there seats except for bathroom or if we have to go somewhere until schoolwork is done and if it isn't completed by Fri. eve, they have to work all weekend. If it is my fault (too many errands or too hard work) or no-one's fault (sickness usually) I will be lax but if it is their fault (too much playing or whining, sheer unwillingness to work) They are stuck there. Move the books for eating, that's it. That means no tv, no video games, no outside play. We do go to team sports because that is a commitment to someone else. Once I even made them bring their work to a playdate and do it there. Never had to do that again. I also have a rule in place that after 3pm, I am only mom not teacher, so they work on their own.

 

I'm having the same problem, and this sounds like my solution. Thank you for saying what works.

I have always insisted on sloppy work being re-done, but the mucking around and procrastination is hard work! It is now 6.00pm and J has just finished his work for the day, he should have finished it by 2pm at the latest with a lunch break. It's ridiculous and tiresome for me.

 

I LOVE the idea of being Mum from 3pm, I'm definitely adopting that, and sitting down for set school times. Perfect. Thank you for sharing this.