Guest Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 My first JAWM thread! :D I need some encouragement. I feel very alone right now in my homeschool journey. I have a lot of homeschooling friends who are sending their kids to public school this year, including my two biggest mentor families. One was the family that basically helped me make the jump into the homeschooling world, and the other was an awesome mom that has held my hand these first few years and encouraged me by homeschooling her large family into the high school years. Both of these families are (for good, understandable reasons) at a public/private school this year. I think another part of my discouragement is due to all the public schools are starting up right now. I think a lot of the ex-homeschooling families I know are justifying public school, and in doing so, not realizing how much they are putting down current homeschooling families. Plus, everyone else is trying to make them feel good about their switch in schooling and saying what a good decision they are making and why. I feel like I've lost my core encouragement; I feel like I'm just alone. We have a couple of local homeschooling support groups and I am probably going to break down and join one, even though I hate those things. (I much prefer individual friendships.) I don't know if that will even give me what I need, though. As far as homeschooling in and of itself, our family is doing great. I know it is the right decision, my kids are loving it, they are learning, etc. I guess what I'm really missing is the IRL mentors that tell me (and show me) that this can be done - that I'm not messing my kids up by doing this. Between this and some other stuff that I can't really post online, I'm just very discouraged and could use some :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Now is the time for YOU to become the encourager. Look around and see what other homeschooling moms you can find. You are doing what is right for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker of Schole Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Now is the time for YOU to become the encourager. Look around and see what other homeschooling moms you can find. You are doing what is right for you. :iagree: And, I always feel encouraged at the homeschool group, even though they aren't necessarily my friendships. It's nice to hang out with a group that is like-minded, and go on a monthly field trip of some kind. Maybe this is the motivation you need to find a way to enjoy one of the local groups! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I think it's always difficult when the schools go back each year, even without all your support deserting you. For myself, I know of nobody locally who homeschools. I am very much on my own as a homeschooler here, but like yourself I know that this is what's best for my younger two at this point (my older two are at school). I find my support, inspiration and encouragement here on this forum, and it couldn't be better. I do, however, probably spend far more hours on-line than is good for me :tongue_smilie:. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 What ages are your dc? Many of my mentors come from this board. They've messaged me, emailed me, and evensent me stuff to help along the way. I truly value their support and it is very real, even though none of them live close to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 The kids are only 7 and 5. We are at the beginning of a long road! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I so understand and relate. My main mentor also did a lot of putting down homeschooling while making the switch to brick and mortar school. Since then they've realized that not all was roses in the switch. I'm not saying that the move wasn't good for them, I think it was, overall, from what she's said. But she's no longer so extreme in her defense of the switch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I was in your shoes 3 years ago. I ended up spiraling into a full-fledged depression. I won't kid you; it was very difficult. I ended up joining a local homeschooling group. Although it really didn't replace what was lost, it did help to attend a monthly meeting with people who really understood what I was facing. After 2 years in this group, I ran across a "kindred spirit" who recently moved to our area and we've developed a wonderful friendship. It helps that her kids are close in age to mine. Even if you hate the group dynamic, the homeschool group is a place to start finding some new friends to go out and have coffee with. I ended up finding this board, which is as encouraging as anyone IRL that I've been able to meet with on a regular basis. For my kids, especially my oldest, the struggle has been finding friends. Many (not all) of the kids who went back to school seemed to have little in common with my dd as they became more "sophisticated" in interested in different things. Finally, my dd is beginning to realize that she can have MANY MANY friends, some homeschooled and some not. And she doesn't have to see them weekly to still be friends. During my depression, my dh began to understand how isolated I felt and actually was becoming. He began to make it a priority for me to get time alone with him and time to pursue my own interest without kids, since I no longer had friends with whom I could trade childcare. That's a long JAWM, but I just wanted you to know that I have been there. It still is hard sometimes, but we've learned to manage. I think I am beginning to accept that it won't ever be like it was in the good old days when me and my friend-homeschooling moms all had little kids and we got together for Valentine's Day parties, but we can still enjoy the friendships that we have made. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks guys. Fairfarmhand, thanks for sharing your experience. I don't want this to spiral into any kind of depression. :( I may have to try out one of our local groups. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks guys. Fairfarmhand, thanks for sharing your experience. I don't want this to spiral into any kind of depression. :( I may have to try out one of our local groups. :tongue_smilie: oh, honey, the day i went to the first meeting it was nervewracking. butterflies, shaking hands, etc. but I made myself do it because I knew I needed it for my own mental and emotional health. I made my dh hold me accountable. (he knew it was really bad when I told him that many weeks, the only adult interaction that I got was cashiers at the grocery store. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 :grouphug: I agree that this time of year is hard in general. So many of us have this ingrained sense of excitement about the new school year, and it's hard when most of the people around us are talking about sending their kids off. Even though I know I've made the best choice for my family right now, there's some sadness for me at not being part of the crowd and not getting to participate in that annual ritual. There's also some sadness for me that school really isn't right for us right now. I often envy the families for whom ps works! I've been really working at making more connections in my local HS group. It was really hard at first because I wasn't comfortable at the gatherings because I really didn't know anyone. Even those first gatherings were beneficial to me, though, because I felt less alone. Over time, many of those women have gone from being very casual acquaintances to real friends. Plus, even chatting with a familiar face (who I don't know well) can really help when I just need to not feel so alone on this journey. This is all to say that I know it's hard, and it's got to be even harder to see some of your main inspirations heading off to school. However, you can make new connections and feel less alone. It will take time, but making the effort to go to local hs events will probably really help. Does your local group have moms' nights out? I've found those very helpful for making connections. It's nice to just have a table of people who all get the frustrations, difficulties, and joys of homeschooling, you know? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I know how you are feeling. :grouphug::grouphug: My very good friend was homeschooling her kids (6) for years before we started. She has been a wonderful inspiration to me in so many ways. I don't think we would have started this journey if it wasn't for her. She has been mulling over her plans & trying to discern what they should be doing for this upcoming year. She called yesterday and confirmed that they are off to private school next week :( I know she has made the best decision for her family at this point, but I am sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 These posts have just made my day. Thank you for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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