ereks mom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) One week ago, I confirmed with a seller that I wanted to buy her book. She said she doesn't do PayPal, but asked if I could just send a check. I told her I would send a money order. I've been overwhelmed with starting our school year--I have 4 students, 3 of whom are not my own, so I asked dh's secretary if she would buy a money order for me when she went to the post office, which she usually does every day, but as it turned out, she didn't get the money order until today. This is our first week of school, so I have been way too busy to think about a money order! Anyway, the money order was put into the mailbox at dh's office today, and I sent the seller an email to explain and to apologize for the delay. (I do realize that I should have been more on top of things, so please don't throw tomatoes!) I quickly got an email back from the seller, stating that she'd already sold the book to another buyer. Huh? I would have expected to get a courtesy email asking if I'd changed my mind and letting me know that she had another interested buyer, but there wasn't one. How could she be certain that the money order wasn't in the mail already? It's only been ONE WEEK since I agreed to buy the book, and sometimes a letter does take that long. I called dh and he was able to get the money order out of the mailbox before the mailman picked it up. But is there any need? If we take it to the post office, is it possible to cancel it and get a refund? Or since it's made out to her, do I have to mail the money order to the seller anyway and have her cash it and then purchase another money order to send to me? I know that the delay was ultimately my fault, but I still feel that she should've contacted me before selling to another buyer. Am I wrong? (Be gentle.) And THIS is why I should just stick to PayPal. It's just too much of a hassle to deal with money orders. ETA: Just in case you were going to tell me that I should have communicated better, I already admitted that. I am at fault for that. But she could not have known whether the money order had been mailed because she didn't contact me to ask before she sold to another buyer. And the moral to this story is that both the seller and I were at fault. Edited August 23, 2012 by ereks mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I would have sent an email asking if you still wanted it before I sold it to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I would have sent an email asking if you still wanted it before I sold it to someone else. :iagree: This is the respectful thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I would have sent an email asking if you still wanted it before I sold it to someone else. :iagree: But, I've noticed on the forum that some people are very impatient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I've had that happen, only it was a matter of hours between my confirming I'd buy the book and getting an address where to send the money. In that short time, the seller sold it to someone else. I was P*****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It depends on where the money order is from, but my bank will cancel a money order if I bring it in and redeposit the money back into my account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Honestly? Well yes, ideally you should have acted faster, because it's annoying for the seller to not receive payment and not know whether the buyer has changed her mind. But yes, that was rude of her, she really should have contacted you before selling to somebody else (unless she had already stated that she would only wait x days for payment to arrive?) Sorry you've had this hassle! I'm with you, I don't do money orders. I tend to just not buy things from anyone who won't accept internet or phone payment, unless it's for some exceptional reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Well, I would send an email I think but from the way you are talking you were at fault as well for not confirming that it was ok to wait so long to even send payment. Sounds like you left her hanging as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) Well, I would send an email I think but from the way you are talking you were at fault as well for not confirming that it was ok to wait so long to even send payment. Sounds like you left her hanging as well. Yes, I've already admitted that I am at fault for not being more on top of things and getting the money order into the mail or sending her a message sooner to let her know that I had been delayed. But even if I had mailed the money order the very next day, the way the USPS is, it could easily still be out there somewhere, not yet having arrived at her mailbox! She could not have known whether it had been mailed because she didn't contact me to ask before she sold to another buyer. Edited August 23, 2012 by ereks mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 In this case, where she had asked for a mailed form of payment, it seems logical that she'd email you to make sure that payment was, in fact, on its way before cancelling the sale. I'm more of an instant gratification gal, and want quick payment and to get the thing mailed out, but that's also why I do Paypal (also, it protects me more as a seller from bad money orders and bounced checks as well as giving the buyer some protection). I'll still bug the seller a couple of times by email and put a deadline on payment a few days out before I cancel the sale though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 If she sold it already, and told you so, does that mean she's also already received payment from the other buyer? I mean that transaction would have need to have happened almost directly after your agreement to purchase, no?. Sounds to me like she might have gotten a better offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 ereks mom: One week ago, I confirmed with a seller that I wanted to buy her book. She said she doesn't do PayPal, but asked if I could just send a check. I told her I would send a money order. I've been overwhelmed with starting our school year--I have 4 students, 3 of whom are not my own, so I asked dh's secretary if she would buy a money order for me when she went to the post office, which she usually does every day, but as it turned out, she didn't get the money order until today. This is our first week of school, so I have been way too busy to think about a money order! I'm sorry, but how is this the Seller's fault? You said you wanted the book, and she waited, and you didn't send a check. I don't do Paypal either, but I've done business, both buying and selling, and either I or the Seller got the money there quickly. Anyway, the money order was put into the mailbox at dh's office today, and I sent the seller an email to explain and to apologize for the delay. (I do realize that I should have been more on top of things, so please don't throw tomatoes!) I quickly got an email back from the seller, stating that she'd already sold the book to another buyer. Huh? Well, it would have been nice for her to send you an email first, and I would do that. But she isn't obligated. First one with the cash gets it. I would have expected to get a courtesy email asking if I'd changed my mind and letting me know that she had another interested buyer, but there wasn't one. How could she be certain that the money order wasn't in the mail already? It's only been ONE WEEK since I agreed to buy the book, and sometimes a letter does take that long. A week with no email from you and no money and as a Seller, I'd be moving on too. I called dh and he was able to get the money order out of the mailbox before the mailman picked it up. But is there any need? If we take it to the post office, is it possible to cancel it and get a refund? Or since it's made out to her, do I have to mail the money order to the seller anyway and have her cash it and then purchase another money order to send to me? Good question. I think you can take it back and get your own money back with the receipt. I know that the delay was ultimately my fault, but I still feel that she should've contacted me before selling to another buyer. Am I wrong? (Be gentle.) Well, she should have, but you should have contacted her about the delay, as well. And THIS is why I should just stick to PayPal. It's just too much of a hassle to deal with money orders. I don't do paypal at all, and have sold several things. I do take personal checks, and send them, as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 If she sold it already, and told you so, does that mean she's also already received payment from the other buyer? I mean that transaction would have need to have happened almost directly after your agreement to purchase, no?. Sounds to me like she might have gotten a better offer. :iagree: Kind of what I was thinking too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It sounds like there was poor communication by both parties, and neither person in the exchange was especially considerate of the other person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It sounds like there was poor communication by both parties, and neither person in the exchange was especially considerate of the other person. :iagree: I think if you want grace for your flub you should extend it to her as well. I know it stinks but I think the fault lies with both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It sounds like there was poor communication by both parties, and neither person in the exchange was especially considerate of the other person. This is what I was thinking. If I was a seller and I'd waited a week on a payment, then heard from the buyer that they hadn't even posted the darn thing yet ... well, I wouldn't be too happy. The seller may not have sold the book at all, but she considers the experience a bad one already and doesn't want to continue the transaction. Or maybe she just decided to keep the book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 It sounds like there was poor communication by both parties, and neither person in the exchange was especially considerate of the other person. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?p=4237379#poststop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yes, I've already admitted that I am at fault for not being more on top of things and getting the money order into the mail or sending her a message sooner to let her know that I had been delayed. But even if I had mailed the money order the very next day, the way the USPS is, it could easily still be out there somewhere, not yet having arrived at her mailbox! She could not have known whether it had been mailed because she didn't contact me to ask before she sold to another buyer. :iagree:I have had the post office take up to 10 days to deliver across town on occasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I'm just guessing, but it's possible that she hasn't really sold it, she is just irritated that you took a week to mail the mo. Not trying to pile all the blame on you, just saying it's possible that's why she said that. I'm with you, mailing payment is a huge hassle, I pretty much think it's a waste of time to try to conduct business over the internet without accepting paypal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Happy Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 It sounds like there was poor communication by both parties, and neither person in the exchange was especially considerate of the other person. :iagree: I think if you want grace for your flub you should extend it to her as well. I know it stinks but I think the fault lies with both of you. This is what I was thinking. If I was a seller and I'd waited a week on a payment, then heard from the buyer that they hadn't even posted the darn thing yet ... well, I wouldn't be too happy. The seller may not have sold the book at all, but she considers the experience a bad one already and doesn't want to continue the transaction. Or maybe she just decided to keep the book. :iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Well, as a seller, I would have waited longer before selling it. After all, it can take a while for a MO or check to arrive. I would have probably emailed to make sure you sent it. I might have gotten a little nervous if I found out you hadn't, but would have tried to think the best. As a buyer, I've had the same thing happen to me once. The seller emailed that the item was still available. I confirmed that I wanted to buy it and would send paypal. She agreed. I looked at the time and had to get out the door to take dc to skating lessons. I got back 1 & 1/2 hrs later and sat at the computer to mak payment only to find she had sent an email saying she sold it! I was pretty steamed for a while, but then I read her email again and she was apologetic and had had several people keep her hanging waiting for paypal payment during the previous week. Putting myself in her shoes I could understand, but it still stinks when it happens to you and you think you've finally found what you need. Sorry it happened. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts