Twilight Woods Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I was talking with my girlfriends about the report I got back from the social worker regarding DD [10 rising 6th grader] and her problems with socialization especially with large groups. My friends think I should keep her in to help her with it. They say she will never get better at it if she doesn't go. I enrolled her into co-op for the fall. There will be lots of girls her age that she will be able to interact with on a smaller scale which I think will be better for her. I dont know how going to a huge middle school with a ton of kids is going to "help" her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I agree with you.:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't expect anyone would understand. It is all they know. Do what you feel is best for your dd. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I pulled my ds out when he was in K. I volunteered a lot. I have to say ds was never more alone than when he was surrounded by 24 other kids. He brought his own books to school and read constantly. He was never part of the class. When I pulled him, I sought out activities so he could interact in smaller doses and for shorter periods (not 6.5 hours straight). It helped a lot. I think you are doing the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Everyone is different and that is okay! If it hasn't helped her in the last six years, why would it help her now, especially during the toughest school years socially speaking? That makes no sense. Really, she will gain better socialization skills from home, with people who have decent skills, from peers in smaller groups, with coaching/guidance as necessary, etc. It makes no sense to suggest that a kid is going to learn GOOD socialization skills from the single worst socially-capable group known in this country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) . Edited May 25, 2012 by 2J5M9K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raceNzanesmom Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't expect anyone would understand. It is all they know. Do what you feel is best for your dd. :grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curriculumhoarder Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I agree, my now 13yo would play by herself at recess in K-2 because by then she was tired of the other kids in the class. Sometimes she would play with others, but only very small groups. She just doesn't do well with large groups, she likely never will. Staying in school would not change that, just as it doesn't change that for many other kids that are in school K-12 or longer. They just go off by themselves or find small groups to be part of. My dd has several friends, more then she had in school because now she can concentrate on just socializing, not dealing with being overwhelmed from classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Woods Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 I agree, my now 13yo would play by herself at recess in K-2 because by then she was tired of the other kids in the class. Sometimes she would play with others, but only very small groups. She just doesn't do well with large groups, she likely never will. Staying in school would not change that, just as it doesn't change that for many other kids that are in school K-12 or longer. They just go off by themselves or find small groups to be part of. My dd has several friends, more then she had in school because now she can concentrate on just socializing, not dealing with being overwhelmed from classes. I agree. I think the biggest problem with DD is the over stimulation from all the noise and chaos. Her SPD/anxiety can't handle it. Sending her WONT make her a "better" person for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 You are doing what you feel is best for your daughter. Don't worry what other people think. She's been in school and is still having a difficult time in this area so maybe the co-op will work better for her. There are just some people who handle others better in smaller groups or one-on-one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 The support services at the school plus the teachers' ability to promote socialization via the way the classroom is run is how it is done. Ds had a friend in the middle school years that had a severe need for help with learning to make and keep friends that amplified when parents got divorced. He got that help from the school pysch and his teaching team and is a nonsuicidal teen now - his parents could never have done it alone. They tried mightily, but most people won't allow their child to befriend one with issues. If your district has a social worker, they probably have psychs and are in to the concept of the 'total child', which means there is a large offering of support services. Of course, what providers you choose to use to assist your dd is up to you. I am glad you have good experience. Such good experiences do not happen if lots of support are not in place from day one and one not in agreement faculty member (teacher or administrator) can throw it all out the window. I know there are some schools that are doing well, but I would never expect that to be that case. The variables among humans involved are just too great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't expect anyone would understand. It is all they know. Do what you feel is best for your dd. :grouphug: :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Their logic makes is flawed to me. You don't teach someone to swim by throwing them into the ocean. You teach, train, lead, and model for them until they are comfortable in the pool, then lake, then ocean. Do what you know is right. It's your child, not theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 It won't help your dd to put her back. Your family has made a decision regarding a personal issue. Don't ask the opinion of your friends and if they bring up their unwanted/unhelpful comments nip it in the bud. Be polite but firm and learn to "pass the bean dip" by changing the subject.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 It won't help your dd to put her back. Your family has made a decision regarding a personal issue. Don't ask the opinion of your friends and if they bring up their unwanted/unhelpful comments nip it in the bud. Be polite but firm and learn to "pass the bean dip" by changing the subject.:001_smile: Yup, that. It's lovely that your friends advocate for the best for your child... They are not in your trenches, parenting your child, though. They only have the view from their own trench, which is, of course, quite limited. (As is everyone's) I am an introvert. Going to public school did not help me get over it. I don't do well in large groups. It wasn't particularly traumatic for me to be in a classroom, but this is my nature and I don't think you can really teach someone to not be an introvert/extrovert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I agree with you. Social skills are taught, and it is best if we as parents do the teaching IMO. My dd 12 would have been eaten alive in school, I know I was just like her and it happened to me. Because I have been here to lead her, she is not dealing with the insecurities that I did. Eventually I worked through my issues, but having help sure would have been nice. 25 is not the time to finally figure it out lol. Good for you doing what you think is best for your dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 The only PS friend I have who gets why I pulled out DD is one who has a child with ASD, and can see how much DD struggles in group settings due to her sensory issues. In her words-if there's not the right program for your child, you make it yourself, and she sees my choice to homeschool as the same as parents of ASD kids who advocate for their child, try to get the school district to set up programs, and so on. If they don't live it, they don't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer L Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't expect anyone would understand. It is all they know. Do what you feel is best for your dd. :grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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