Underweight Child VENT

[Donna]

My oldest and youngest were also very small when they were young. My oldest didn't hit the growth charts for height and weight until he was 12yo...he had his own lovely curve just under the chart. My dd has always been around the 2-3% though this year her height made the 8%...her BMI was 12.

 

From 2-3yo she went from 22lb to 24lb and the doctor looked worried until I mentioned her brother being small. He remembered then just shrugged it off. I was the smallest kid in my class until I hit puberty now I am average and my father was small 5'3" until he graduated high school and now he's 6'2". So I suspect they will end up being fine.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

One of my sister's adopted daughters is extremely underweight. She just doesn't like to eat. She was born with a cleft palate and has had a couple of surgeries for it, so that might have something to do with it. But, my sister gets the same comments from the doctor. She can't get her to eat much, but she does feed her waffles covered in chocolate chips almost every morning. The kids all stayed at my house last summer and it was like a full time job trying to get my niece to actually eat a meal. She chews one piece of food for 10 minutes. Then you're never sure if she's actually swallowed it or not. :sneaky2:

 

Her son is underweight, a little, too, although he does like to eat- but he mostly likes plain, raw veggies. My sister always says she's the only mom who has to say, "No! You can't have anymore carrots until you eat that whole bowl of ice cream!"

[Donna]

One of my sister's adopted daughters is extremely underweight. She just doesn't like to eat. She was born with a cleft palate and has had a couple of surgeries for it, so that might have something to do with it. But, my sister gets the same comments from the doctor. She can't get her to eat much, but she does feed her waffles covered in chocolate chips almost every morning. The kids all stayed at my house last summer and it was like a full time job trying to get my niece to actually eat a meal. She chews one piece of food for 10 minutes. Then you're never sure if she's actually swallowed it or not. :sneaky2:

 

Has she had speech/feeding therapy? There may be a number of reasons why a child with a fixed cleft palate may have difficulty eating or aversions to different foods.

[~Tara~]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I can somewhat understand. I have a skinny child too. Actually, all but my 8 yr old girl are on the lower end of the charts. (my 8, 10 and almost 13 yr old are basically the same size..within an inch and 2#...from the 12 yr old and 8 yr old)

 

We hear a lot of "wow really? he's that old?" And when they see the chubalicious baby..they 'accuse' her of stealing all brother's food, that's why he's so small.

 

I have a 6 yr old right in line with the 12 yr old. The comments are sure to kick in soon with him. Right now they just think he's a twin or just barely older than the 3 yr old.

 

My kids eat. They eat well. They just don't grow quickly/a lot.

 

Do you think my 12 yr old likes it that in the 3 years he's been wrestling he has NEVER reached the MINIMUM weight for his class? Please don't joke him about it.

 

We do try to keep it light and 'joke' with him a bit at home. But he is our son, we know his level of tolerance, he knows we love him, he jokes back with us. He's ok with it. But we are his family, it's all very light. He's not going to snark back at a stranger. Instead he's going to internalize it and get upset. Likely taking it out on a sibling later.

 

I have been comforted though by the fact that so many others are on this road with me. I really had no idea. I have always felt like we were the 'only' ones with a small child who just didn't gain weight well.

 

Sorry others are having to deal with this stuff too.

[SKL]

My kids are so healthy (though one is slim/petite), and well-meaning people still think it's their moral duty to fatten them up. Obviously I starve them.

 

It used to make my brain want to explode. Now I just let it go. They will be fine, and that's what's important.

[Twigs]

I hate the part of the Dr visit when he pulls out the weight charts to tell me where DS is in relation to other kids. Or his BMI. …

 

:grouphug:

 

Some people, including doctors, do not seem to understand how percentiles work. Everyone can't be 50th%! My daughter's CF clinic said they like all their patients to be 50th percentile. When I told her pediatrician that, he said, "Yeah.... but this is the REAL WORLD." lol

 

:iagree:

 

Yes, the lower and upper ends are just as normal as 50%.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Has she had speech/feeding therapy? There may be a number of reasons why a child with a fixed cleft palate may have difficulty eating or aversions to different foods.

 

Yes. She has. She still has one more surgery to go. It will be in June. It's the one where they take a piece of bone from the hip.

 

It's my personal opinion (my sister agrees, but her pediatrician husband doesn't) that this girl is also on the autism spectrum. I think she has so many other things going on in her "mind world" that eating just isn't important to her. It doesn't fit into the narrative she has going on. She's also just extremely picky. I think part of it is sensory issues, too.

 

The rule at their house is that she has to eat most of what's on her plate, or she has to go to her room and not play. One night, she didn't even sit down. She looked at her plate and said, "I'll just go to my room." She doesn't seem to care about food at all.

[twoxcell]

Why is your Dr. making such a fuss? My older two have always been at the top of the charts for height and weight, and my younger two are skinny. My 3rd is skinny and fairly tall, and my youngest is skinny and short. Our family Dr. has never made a fuss over any of them. My youngest has been gaining slowly since he turned one and I think he is 24.5 lbs with clothes on.;) He hasn't even reached the height or weight my oldest daughter was at at 18 months and and he is almost 2.5.

[Donna]

Yes. She has. She still has one more surgery to go. It will be in June. It's the one where they take a piece of bone from the hip.

 

It's my personal opinion (my sister agrees, but her pediatrician husband doesn't) that this girl is also on the autism spectrum. I think she has so many other things going on in her "mind world" that eating just isn't important to her. It doesn't fit into the narrative she has going on. She's also just extremely picky. I think part of it is sensory issues, too.

 

The rule at their house is that she has to eat most of what's on her plate, or she has to go to her room and not play. One night, she didn't even sit down. She looked at her plate and said, "I'll just go to my room." She doesn't seem to care about food at all.

 

Ah...so a lot of different things going on there. Glad she's receiving services but sometimes little ones can be such a puzzle.

[JeneralMom]

I haven't read all the responses, but you may want to consider doing a trial of eliminating gluten from his diet.

 

My youngest DD was off-the-charts small and all the tests that our pediatrician had run (including 2 celiac panels) came back negative. I took her off gluten when she was diagnosed with autism and within 6 weeks she had gained 6 lbs. (25% of her bodyweight) and 1/2". She went from being <3rd percentile for both weight and height to 5th percentile for height and 25th for weight. She has since gained even more height and weight but I haven't had her officially measured so I don't know where she is now on the growth chart.

 

Our pediatrician said that she sees this kind of rapid "catch-up" gain all the time in gluten intolerant kids who switch to a GF diet.

 

My 5yo was in the 75th percentile weight and height when she was born at 36 weeks. By time she was 2 she had fallen to less than 3 percent for weight and 10 percent for height. When I was diagnosed, our family doctor mentioned that alot of her symptoms (failure to grow, loss of hair, black circles, digestive issues) could be related to gluten intolerance. Now after 18mos being GF she is in the 50th for height, her hair is all back and no digestive issues.

[Hope in God]

I have little kids too. I get excited when they make it up to the bottom of the growth chart but mostly they are way in the coloured zone.

 

I think kids vary in size. If they are not experiencing tummy problems and their BM looks normal then I wouldn't sweat it. We were sent to the big childrens hospital in our province and the doctors there were worse than useless. The nutritionist told us to feed him a lot of cookies, cakes and chips. When I said that I was trying to avoid too much sugar she suggested granola bars saying that they are low in sugar. Huh?? Trans fats and sugar is your advice? No wonder diabetes and heart disease are epidemics!

 

The naturopath was far more helpful. Turns out he was allergic to gluten and dairy.

 

I will say that our family doctor is such a sweetie. When I brought up the weight issue (and we had explored all the possible avenues) he told me that I was fortunate because most of the kids he sees have the opposite problem (overweight, diabetic etc...) and those types of problems lead to many more health issues and concerns than being "underweight" according to the growth chart.

 

Lastly, my secret suspicion is that the growth charts were produced back when many more babies were fomula fed and so the whole chart is skewed.

[jennynd]

...

Edited April 14, 2012 by jennynd

[jennynd]

My 5yo was in the 75th percentile weight and height when she was born at 36 weeks. By time she was 2 she had fallen to less than 3 percent for weight and 10 percent for height. When I was diagnosed, our family doctor mentioned that alot of her symptoms (failure to grow, loss of hair, black circles, digestive issues) could be related to gluten intolerance. Now after 18mos being GF she is in the 50th for height, her hair is all back and no digestive issues.

 

DD was like that. born about 70% on weight and quicly dropped out of 3% after she was born.

She was diagnosed as fail to thrive and was in/out clinic/hospital EVERY WEEK. She does get sick very often the first 2 yrs. Anemic and other stuff.

Now 4 yrs old, she slowly climb to 5-10% and rarely get sick now.

DD's Dr. mentioned that "birth weight" reflect to what the mother ate while preg, and in 6 months, the weight will tart to reflect their gene. I guess that make sense..

[Hope in God]

My son hovered below the 8th percentile and a couple of times fell off the charts so I know what you mean.

 

He ate normal, non-junky foods. He drank only water and milk. If a doctor mentioned his weight I would tell them to check his percentiles against the weight charts from the 1930s. (I used to keep a copy of this with me!) For that time frame he was in the 40th percentile. Go figure.

 

That said, he did fill out more (and is now in the 50th percentile) over the course of a year once I started giving him fish oil. A nutritionist clued me in that apparently the balance of omega-6/omega-3 fats has something to do with height vs. girth.

 

Hang in there! :grouphug:

 

Fish oil is really important! Also excercise produces growth homone in children.

[MrsBasil]

We switched to a family practitioner and now this talk isn't as annoying as it used to be. In fact, as a homeschooling father of six, he doesn't make a big deal out of alot of things that got me in constant hot water in the pediatrician world.

 

I used to work for a doctor who homeschooled her 4 kids along with her husband. It's a bit of a drive now, but if I can't find someone local it's a thought. I had completely forgotten about that, but she was very practical and our personalities meshed well.

 

..... If a doctor mentioned his weight I would tell them to check his percentiles against the weight charts from the 1930s. (I used to keep a copy of this with me!) For that time frame he was in the 40th percentile. Go figure.

 

That said, he did fill out more (and is now in the 50th percentile) over the course of a year once I started giving him fish oil. A nutritionist clued me in that apparently the balance of omega-6/omega-3 fats has something to do with height vs. girth.

 

I'll have too look into the fish oil! Funny enough, people over about 65 or so have never said a word about him being thin. My Grandmother(78) says he looks like a healthy normal boy. Same with all of the older people in my neighborhood and at church.

I haven't read all the responses, but you may want to consider doing a trial of eliminating gluten from his diet...

 

Snipped for space, but I appreciate your thoughts. I'll look into it more, but he doesn't seem to have any other signs of gluten intolerance.

 

 

Her son is underweight, a little, too, although he does like to eat- but he mostly likes plain, raw veggies. My sister always says she's the only mom who has to say, "No! You can't have anymore carrots until you eat that whole bowl of ice cream!"

\

 

Boy, do I understand that! DS would live on fruits, vegetables, a few crackers, and dairy if I let him. That's all he would eat until he was 2.5.

 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I can somewhat understand. I have a skinny child too. Actually, all but my 8 yr old girl are on the lower end of the charts. (my 8, 10 and almost 13 yr old are basically the same size..within an inch and 2#...from the 12 yr old and 8 yr old)

 

We hear a lot of "wow really? he's that old?" And when they see the chubalicious baby..they 'accuse' her of stealing all brother's food, that's why he's so small.

 

I have a 6 yr old right in line with the 12 yr old. The comments are sure to kick in soon with him. Right now they just think he's a twin or just barely older than the 3 yr old.

 

My kids eat. They eat well. They just don't grow quickly/a lot.

 

Do you think my 12 yr old likes it that in the 3 years he's been wrestling he has NEVER reached the MINIMUM weight for his class? Please don't joke him about it.

 

We do try to keep it light and 'joke' with him a bit at home. But he is our son, we know his level of tolerance, he knows we love him, he jokes back with us. He's ok with it. But we are his family, it's all very light. He's not going to snark back at a stranger. Instead he's going to internalize it and get upset. Likely taking it out on a sibling later.

 

I have been comforted though by the fact that so many others are on this road with me. I really had no idea. I have always felt like we were the 'only' ones with a small child who just didn't gain weight well.

 

Sorry others are having to deal with this stuff too.

 

Isn't it nice to hear others understand? I'm so energized and blessed by this thread! :grouphug:

 

Why is your Dr. making such a fuss? ...

 

Primarily because of his weight in relation to his height. He's apparently tall for his age or so says the Dr, but too thin for his age and height. He's concerned that he's not taking in enough calories and healthy fats to support his growth. Also, because he doesn't always follow any curve, drops off the charts at times, and has what is considered a pretty low BMI. He's below the 1st percentile in weight for height and BMI.

 

He has no health issues related to being underweight that I can see. No GI issues, no chronic or even regular health issues. Other than colds, he's only been sick twice in his life. He's busy, has lots of energy, and does eat.

 

Thanks for all the responses!

 

:grouphug::grouphug: to everyone else who is as frustrated as I am!

Edited April 14, 2012 by MrsBasil

[Little Nyssa]

MrsB, I also have a tiny kid, and I get the same, but to make it worse, his younger sib is >100 percentile for weight and height. I get scolded in both directions!

[Kathryn]

:grouphug: I understand, both from my little 2yo and myself. Unfortunately, in today's society, the comments never stop. People feel justified in commenting on anyone whose weight is outside the range of "normal." It is just as hurtful and damaging to "underweight" people as it is to "overweight" people. I'm extremely self-conscious about my appearance and often purposely wear clothes to hide my body because of the comments people feel compelled to make. I don't appreciate being called a skeleton or being accused of having an eating disorder--the closest I've come to that is stuffing myself full of processed crap in a failed attempt to gain weight. There is a wide range of normal and as long as one is healthy, weight and BMI shouldn't be some magical numbers that we must bow down to. For heaven's sake, at my husband's last company, I had to pay more for health insurance because my BMI placed me at "severely underweight" on their chart.

[Sue G in PA]

I'm sorry. :grouphug: I empathize. My 10yo (almost 11) is super, super thin. Ribs showing, even the "skinny" jeans fall down without a belt, etc. I get comments from just about everybody...until they see his father. :D My dh is super, super thin as well. My almost 11yo doesn't eat meat (except a specific kind of fried chicken from a specific grocery store near us) and is a carb-o-holic. LOVES his cereal, loves his sweets...and only a select few fruits and veggies. YES, we offer him everything and anything healthy. YES, he ate well as a baby. YES, we offer snacks...frequently. But NO, I will NOT force him to eat just ANYTHING to "fatten him up". So, I empathize. It's frustrating. His siblings pick on him. His "friends" pick on him sometimes. My parents are the worst offenders when it comes to that judgemental, shaking their head sideways glances and little "tsk tsk"s when ds11 won't eat this food or that food. Enfuriating.

[AuntieM]

:grouphug:

 

I guess I should be thankful for the ped we saw. He just smiled and said, "Well, somebody has to represent the 4th percentile."

 

It helped that I had two other well proportioned kids he saw and that tiny girl was healthy in every other way.

 

We did get some comments from family members. I just tried to ignore them but, yes, I often wanted to get out the duct tape. :glare:

[WiseOwlKnits]

I totally sympathize. DD is 98% in height and like 10% in weight. And that's up from the 3% a few years ago. We hear comments all. the. time. about her. I've gotten to the point where I turn a deaf ear to it. I refuse to encourage bad eating habits with her just to put on weight now. Just because she's thin now doesn't mean she should get used to milkshakes every night or butter on everything. KWIM?

 

I agree with the PP though - a lot of the comments come from us changing what we see as a normal body weight. That doesn't make it any less frustrating though!