What to do when attention and processing issues begin to really slow down progress?

[Jennefer@SSA]

Ds 10 (Aspie and severe ADHD) is now in 5th grade. His ADHD has always been very severe but he is very bright and has been able to keep up with where I wanted him to be by the end of each year. This year that has changed. The level of work required just has us slowed down soooo much.

 

For example, we are in WWE4, and his average lesson takes us an hour. For the dictation he needs 20+ repititions. He is in Horizons 6 math. An average math lesson takes him an hour and a half to two hours. He is a turtle and I am exhausted. We are not getting to history or science. Ever. And his younger brothers get much less time/energy than they probably should on many days. We school from 9-4 and still don't have it done. All day is me nagging at him to get busy or stay focused or keep on keeping on. The idea of this child working independently at any reasonable pace is non-existent.

 

It is very hard when you know your child's potential is far below where they are actually performing. :crying: And I can't imagine much changing in the near future.

 

I am not sure exactly what I wanted by posting this. Maybe just to know I am not alone. Or crazy. Or failing.

[WeeBeaks]

For example, we are in WWE4, and his average lesson takes us an hour. For the dictation he needs 20+ repititions.

 

This was my DS also (4th grade, 9-1/2, severe ADHD/bipolar). For us we did dictation as copywork with one or two sentences only as dictation. His short-term memory was just not there. And honestly most of us do not routinely need to hold 4 or 5 sentences in our working memory and write them verbatim. Is your son retaining the gist of it such as he would need to do to effectively take notes? If so, I personally would probably not let that dictation be the hill to die on. We actually left WWE for something more suitable to my son.

 

I definitely know how you are feeling though. My son is also extremely bright, thus able to perform at grade level or quite a bit higher than grade level just because of his IQ despite his disabilities, but now (end of 4th grade) is hitting where he too is struggling. I did kind of expect it as the requirements change going into middle school, the writing bit ramping up, a huge weak point for him, as well as the need for more organization.

 

I'm not sure what you already do. My own son does do well with workboxes or at least a written grid of what he needs to do daily or weekly so he can linearly go down it and check things off. I keep all his supplies in one little cubby. That helps keep the missing pens, pencils and books down some. ;) I clip his schedule (which we went over on Sunday night), any looseleaf assignments and some paper on a clip board, BRIGHT red for visibility. LOL With those measures, he still needs me right next to him some days (to keep him on track), but has become more and more independent with oversight, at least allowing me more time to teach his younger siblings. :grouphug:

Edited April 2, 2012 by WeeBeaks

[Tiramisu]

In my little experience, relative weaknesses in processing speed and working memory became a problem in fourth/fifth grade, mostly manifesting in the time it took to get work done. Before that, performance was ahead of peers. Afterward, grades on tests and completed work were still high, but it just took forever to get certain things done. In our case, the most trouble was in math. When we started hsing, it was really important to find a math program that clicked. The hard part was finding a program that offered frequent systematic review but was still doable when shifting gears between different types of problems also slowed things down. KWIM?

 

My oldest used TT with success until pre-calc and then hit a wall. I haven't had my next evaluated because she hasn't had those kinds of issues, but she's also very slow with math and does need constant review. I have her using CLE, and I sit beside her as much as I'm able to help her stay focused. She has writing issues, too, so I will write for her and that speeds things up amazingly--instead of an hours and a half, we can be done in 20 minutes!

[MomatHWTK]

My child has started on medication and we also use behavioral therapy. I also modifiy lessons to accomodate his needs so that the process of school doesn't interfere with him experiencing success. (i.e. there's not a lot of handwriting in DS' school day. :) )

[Guest]

Totally unrelated but since you said that you are not sure why you posted anyway, I thought I would throw this out there. Inattention was the issue I had with Adrian (he is 8), and that was what got me started researching SN's. By reading various threads here and also books I decided to try the gluten free casein free diet. We are now in our second month and Adrian is a new kid :). We have also added supplements (EFA's, Calcium, Multivitamin, Probiotics and Vitamin D3) and I think the combination has made the difference for us in our home. I have also seen differences in behavior in both boys but of course we are working on that too. Not saying it will work, it does not work for everyone but it might be worth looking into at least.

[rafiki]

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[Jennefer@SSA]

I was encouraged to use alternative schooling methods and projects, to take advantage of his interests and how he learns best, to feed his passions and strengths, and together to pick one things at a time to focus on then help him develop his own strategies to compensate for that weakness.

 

Their output is not going to match their IQ unless it’s dovetailed with their learning style and strengths. When you focus on what they can do, the rest doesn’t seem to matter in the scheme of things.

 

How do you go about learning about alternative methods and such? I am so entrenched in traditional methods that it's really hard for me to think outside the box. :001_huh:

[Jennefer@SSA]

Totally unrelated but since you said that you are not sure why you posted anyway, I thought I would throw this out there. Inattention was the issue I had with Adrian (he is 8), and that was what got me started researching SN's. By reading various threads here and also books I decided to try the gluten free casein free diet. We are now in our second month and Adrian is a new kid :). We have also added supplements (EFA's, Calcium, Multivitamin, Probiotics and Vitamin D3) and I think the combination has made the difference for us in our home. I have also seen differences in behavior in both boys but of course we are working on that too. Not saying it will work, it does not work for everyone but it might be worth looking into at least.

 

I am so happy you have had success with GFCF. We did a very strict GFCF diet for a full year and saw 0 improvement of any type. I am always so thankful to hear others stories of success. I keep hoping I'll find my own story of success with ds someday. For now it's just keep on keeping on! ;)

[mamatohaleybug]

Are medications an option? I fought and fought against them for years but finally decided to try them this year with my DD who has severe ADHD along with many other medical diagnoses. Years of alternate teaching methods and strategies just weren't very helpful. We tried numerous things, professionally and at home.

 

I wish I had some magic wand I could loan you.

[EKS]

I was finally unable to compensate for my son's attention and processing issues (with planning and scheduling and me sitting right there redirecting him all the time) when he was 12. I could no longer sit next to him for hours at a time and I knew he needed to work independently for things like problem sets in math or writing assignments. At that point tried medication for ADHD. It really helped immensely.

[rafiki]

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[Heathermomster]

Ds 10 (Aspie and severe ADHD) is now in 5th grade. His ADHD has always been very severe but he is very bright and has been able to keep up with where I wanted him to be by the end of each year. This year that has changed. The level of work required just has us slowed down soooo much.

 

For example, we are in WWE4, and his average lesson takes us an hour. For the dictation he needs 20+ repititions. He is in Horizons 6 math. An average math lesson takes him an hour and a half to two hours. He is a turtle and I am exhausted. We are not getting to history or science. Ever. And his younger brothers get much less time/energy than they probably should on many days. We school from 9-4 and still don't have it done. All day is me nagging at him to get busy or stay focused or keep on keeping on. The idea of this child working independently at any reasonable pace is non-existent.

 

It is very hard when you know your child's potential is far below where they are actually performing. :crying: And I can't imagine much changing in the near future.

 

I am not sure exactly what I wanted by posting this. Maybe just to know I am not alone. Or crazy. Or failing.

 

:grouphug:

[PeterPan]

Yes, 10 is where we hit our wall with vision, and this year (7th) has pretty much been a mess. I had to re-adjust my whole thought process. I went from "work hard and you'll get through the necessary task" to "that task wasn't as necessary as I thought and it's time to redefine to fit the child in front of me."

 

Our neuropsych said specifically NOT to try to fit her into a regular mold. He said NOT to make her work to do everything another kid would do, because I was just going to wear her out. He specifically recommended that her work load be light enough that she had a couple hours each day (where she wasn't worn out) to do the things she really ENJOYS. I'm all for good standards, and he wasn't saying to sloff off. But for instance you can do the academic level of work he needs in the *time chunks* that fit is developmental readiness with attention. You probably have scores and can extrapolate off that. If he's 10, say 4th grade, and he has the executive function and ability to attend of say a 7 yo 2nd grader, then you do his 4th grade work, but you expect 2nd grade time slots. THAT is what our np told us to do. And he didn't even blink an eye.

 

If you work diligently and don't take super-long breaks, it all pans out in the wash. If the sessions stay reasonable, they aren't so exhausted and make more progress. Some of that math torture may be that his facts aren't fast yet. That just takes time and use. I would give him a math table or other means you think will help him. This year was the first year I offered my dd a calculator, and there can be a place for that too. Your goal is not to wear them out. your goal is to help them make consistent efforts that over time move them forward.

 

It's just an ugly age and stage your going into. My dd has been at about the same place with things in math, more or less, for a couple years now. You can't go forward into certain things until your facts are faster. So don't sweat it. Just work diligently and let it come. 20 years from now it won't matter what year he did pre-algebra.

 

Just so you know, it also won't matter what year he wrote 5 paragraph essays. Seriously. This whole push-push thing is totally over-rated. If it fits the kid, that's great. But to have that create some expectations where you can't even enjoy your kid or can't let him enjoy himself and his own interests because he's always push-pushing to fit someone else's paradigm, that's no good. I want my dd to be WHOLE. And being whole doesn't involve getting chewed up or worn out by some expectations that don't fit her. I'm all for consistent work and gentle nudges, but they have to fit developmentally. There's a BIG LEAP you're going to see in some curriculum from 6th to 7th, and if your kid isn't ready developmentally but is (possibly even ahead of that) academically, it gets really sticky. Btdt. Like I said, I chose for my dd to come out of this process WHOLE, not scarred and messed up or feeling like a failure. There's plenty we can do until she's ready to do the next thing on someone else's list. :)

Edited April 2, 2012 by OhElizabeth

[Guest]

Great posts Michele and OhElizabeth! I always enjoy reading and learning from both of you! My way of thinking has evolved quite a bit this year and I am sure it will even more, as time goes by. I have had to let go of quite a bit this year and make changes to suit my kids needs/ interests. I just do what I feel is best for my kids and try not to think too much about what others think of me.

 

Anyway, I am also adding to my list of good reads :). Some of the books you mentioned Michele, I had not come across before. I think the time has come once again for me to take a temporary forum break and focus on my boys and my reading (I have so many books I need to read). I'll be lurking though and learning from all of you :).

 

To the OP :grouphug:. It is hard and don't think that the diet has miraculously solved all our issues. Like you, I am searching for answers and ways of tackling what I need to with my boys. I don't have a diagnosis so for now I am walking in the dark with God and the ladies here as my guides. Stick around, there is so much you can learn. Most of what has changed me this year has come from this forum.

Edited April 3, 2012 by Guest

[mom4peace]

My older has ADHD, and the problems with attention started to really impact school work at 9, with executive planning being more evident a bit later. They were both always an issue, but with careful planning and plenty of guidance, they didn't really interfere until then. As my DS, now 14, had more assignments that required more planning and more attention to detail, the defects showed.

 

Not to discourage anyone, but at 14, the problems are worse than at 12. Puberty is the wrench in the mechanism right now, and the only way out seems to be through.

 

My younger with Asperger's has thus escaped the attention and planning problems of his older brother. His ability to socially manage life was, again, always low, but the expectations socially are also low until closer to age 10, it seems. He struggles mightily at 10 but is willing to accept some coaching from mom to smooth his way.

[PeterPan]

Probably all kids hit the puberty thing (which confounds the rest in a really BAD way) at different ages. My dh says that's what's going on with dd. I'm sure it will get worse. Another mom told me 14 was golden for her girl, the age when the angel returned, so I'm planning on it. Gotta have something to look forward to, lol. She's in her room this morning for being disrespectful and crabby. It's SO not a fun age.

[MyLittleBears]

[quote=4evercanucks;377529

 

To the OP :grouphug:. [b]Most of what has changed me this year has come from this forum.

 

:iagree: Very thankful for this forum.

Edited April 2, 2012 by MyLittleBears

[Jennefer@SSA]

Are medications an option? I fought and fought against them for years but finally decided to try them this year with my DD who has severe ADHD along with many other medical diagnoses. Years of alternate teaching methods and strategies just weren't very helpful. We tried numerous things, professionally and at home.

 

I wish I had some magic wand I could loan you.

 

I was finally unable to compensate for my son's attention and processing issues (with planning and scheduling and me sitting right there redirecting him all the time) when he was 12. I could no longer sit next to him for hours at a time and I knew he needed to work independently for things like problem sets in math or writing assignments. At that point tried medication for ADHD. It really helped immensely.

 

We have done medication for two different stints, each about a year and a half long. The most recent was starting halfway through third and through all of fourth grade. Both times ds lost tremendous amounts of weight and couldn't sleep. Seriously this child would be awake until 11:00 or 12:00 every.single.night. We tried all sorts of interventions to help him sleep but none worked. And that was on the lowest dose of meds. Because the dose was so low we were getting very, very little benefit but maximum side effects. :confused: We tried several meds each at multiple different doses: Vyvanse, Adderall, Ritalin, Focalin and Focalin XR. Since we took him off meds this August he has gained 20 pounds. For the first six weeks after we took him off his medication he ate a full meal every two hours. I have never seen or heard of anything like it. Seeing how much he really can and should eat would make me very vary of trying any new meds again. Recently though, we have begun talking about trying Strattera and seeing if it might help him without the side effects.

 

Another issue we had on all meds was what our dr called "rebounding". Ds was 100x more ADHD in the morning before his meds and in the evening once they started wearing off. We literally were not able to go anywhere in the evenings because he just couldn't handle any sort of stimulation. He would be aggressive towards his brothers and almost out of control. I have been told by two different professionals that ds's ADHD is one of the most severe cases they have ever seen. Our developmental pedi said she could count on one hand other kids whose ADHD was as severe, and she works with kiddos like him all day long.

 

We eat a very clean diet. For the overwhelming part no dyes, additives, preservatives, all whole grain (mostly homemade), as much organic as we can afford and no white, refined foods. Ds takes high quality fish oils (we've used several brands) and B12.

 

Okay I feel I am rambling at this point. :tongue_smilie: I guess in summary, our journey with medications has been similar to our journey trying alternate diets. So many have helped others but we haven't been able to find anything that truly helps - in traditional or alternative routes.

[Jennefer@SSA]

Jennefer, It's a process and will take some time. What I see you guys needing most right now is to focus on his strengths. Everyone has flaws, but learning differences also bring a unique profile of strengths, passions, and interests. He has gifts to share. Your son is not broken, just different from the NT folk. It's okay to be different and important to help him blossom into the best him he can be. You have to put blinders on to what the Jones' are doing and those who use academics as status symbols. Embrace who he is, warts and all.

 

Focus on the three R's more formally, but in ways that fit him and at his pace. For content, dovetail with his interests. Help him explore his interests, further develop his strengths, and expose him to a variety.

 

For each child, outside the box may mean different things.

 

My 11 y/o is extremely verbal, yet so not spatial. He has ADHD and single digit EF skills. He needs to read the material himself to learn it, then be able to present it orally, such as teaching it to someone, giving a speech, or making a home video. He has taken karate for years, it's been so good for him. The three R's are very hard for him because of the ADHD. However he can solve complex word problems, just not show the work, he could sell you a styrofoam peanut, just not remember to start each sentence with a capital letter and end with a punctuation mark, and he can chatter to you about books, down to telling you a page number such and such is found on, but not be able to answer typical comprehension questions about it. He can read people so well and is definitely not forgettable.

 

My 10 y/o is gifted with spatial and processing skills in the 99th percentile, yet struggles with reading, spelling, and auditory information. He is a hands on discovery based learner. He likes programs that allow him to control the speed of information and needs to be able to see it and manipulate it. He loves nothing more than to be given a challenge or put in the middle of a problem needing solved. He's a self motivated do'er. The challenge is keeping a step ahead of him.

 

My 8 y/o is ASD. He got the PDD-NOS label because of language delays (MERLD), however everything else pointed to Aspie. At the time of testing he was 2 years behind in all areas. I can not wait for him to be retested and it's only been a year, he's such a different child. He is very fidgety with sensory issues and always on the go. The entire time we school, he's on the floor in various positions, rubbing his head, twirling his feet, bouncing, you get the picture. He learns through cards, games, and hands on projects. He's grown leaps and bounds since I've accepted that and run with it.

 

Here are some books that have helped me get to where I am today.

Hold on to Your Kids by Neufeld (I read this early on and am so glad I did.)

 

The Minds of Boys by Gurian (Having three boys, this book has helped me the most. I’ve read some other of Gurian’s books, but this one is my favorite.)

 

Leadership Education by DeMille (The “55 ingredients†and “art of inspiration†shaped our family life.)

 

Coloring Outside the Lines by Roger Schank (Wish I had read this sooner, excellent book.)

 

Legendary Learning: The Famous Homeschooler’s Guide to Self-Directed Excellence by Jamie McMillin

 

Discover Your Child’s Learning Style by Willis and Hodson (Not like any other’s I’ve seen, takes learning styles much deeper. The book took a bit of sifting through, but was worth it. After I had done all that, I learned they have an online profile guide. I would have gone that route.)

 

Simple Strategies that Work! by Brenda Smith Myles (This is my hands-down favorite book for a quick start to teaching spectrum children.)

 

Late, Lost, and Unprepared by Joyce Cooper-Kahn and Laurie Dietzel (My favorite for executive functioning.)

 

My Anxious Mind by Tompkins, Martinez, and Sloan

 

The ADHD Book of Lists by Sandra Rief

 

Start with basics though, play games together, live out loud, work on a project together, unit study, pick up a model to put together, but focus on his strengths while picking "one" thing to work on and see how that changes things.

 

We exercise first thing, then do the three R's with a mid morning break, then after lunch it is interest, strength, based exploration.

 

I'm constantly asking, what is the wisest use of our time now and will this really matter ten years from now. Those two questions help guide me.

 

Wow! That is so incredibly helpful. Thank you very much. I do very much need to focus on his strengths. He has many. I am eager to spend time this summer reading several of the books you listed to fill my mind with a new way to think about educating him in the years ahead. I am such a product of public education - 13 years of my own, 4 years of public university and then 8 years in ps classrooms teaching - that I have found it incredibly difficult to break away from that model. I have seen more and more how it is my default and what I tend to revert back to time and again. I am very grateful for the time you took to type all that out.

[PeterPan]

Long shot, but have you tried caffeine? Makes my dd so tired she's non-functional, but maybe it would do something for him?

 

I'm looking at your original post again and the list and what you're using to understand your situation better and see what options you might have. When you say you're working from 9-4 and still not getting it done, you're saying *you* are working with your kids that long and he's drifting in and out as you nag? Or you're saying *he* is attempting to work? Don't know why I'm asking. Point is, that doesn't fit his physical age or his developmental readiness. It doesn't even make sense to me given your list. You have math (which you've said takes up to 2 hours), an Evan Moor DWP, JAG, WWS. I'm just trying to understand what you're getting done each day.

 

When I look at your list and compare it to my reality in my house, I can tell you honestly that NONE of those things, in our house, would get any more success than you're getting in your house. I'm sorry his ADHD is so severe and driving you crazy, but honestly my kid (with ADHD also) absolutely positively could NOT do that list any better. And in fact IF I get her to do some of those things now (she's more of a self-starter in 7th than she was in 4th), she SURE would not RETAIN anything, not a bloomin' flip.

 

So I don't know if anyone has given you the go with the flow, aspies need to hyper-focus, adhd needs to be short sessions and out of the box, but that's the talk I'm giving you. I hope it's not unwelcome. I'm not saying where you should go. I'm just saying when you can't SOLVE the problem, it's time to roll with it. Keep looking for solutions, sure. But when you can't solve it, ROLL WITH IT.

 

Things that have helped my dd?

-no worksheets. My dd struggles to understand what they're explaining and she retains nothing. It's totally weird because, like your ds she is VERY bright. Her reality is that she doesn't learn well with worksheets and doesn't retain.

-more interaction. My dd needs interaction incredibly. The birth of my ds really rocked her world. She still spends every day wanting much of my attention. And it's not that she doesn't want to be independent. She wants me to be there, engaged in watching her. Her ideal world would be her working on the computer and me sitting 10 feet away knitting quietly. Doesn't happen, but I'm just saying there's some kind of developmental hunger in them.

-more interactive materials. The BEST things going for us right now are TT math and the VP self-paced online history. The most successful curriculum stuff we've used has been the Shurley, which again is mom-driven, totally interactive. TT and the VP History are a dream for ADHD kids. They have to interact or it stops going (checks to make sure they're attending). It has humor. Ok, my dd says you have to be able to understand and appreciate certain types of humor to enjoy the history. The TT has little touches like changeable mascots that do things during the lesson. You'd think it would be distracting, but it's sort of the opposite, at least in our house. Her mind wanders, lands on the character, then boom she's refocused on the fact that she's in a math lesson. This guy really had their number.

-SHORT lessons. If it has to be done and isn't something he's engaged in or willing to hyper-focus on, make it short and interactive. 5-10 minutes. 3-5 even.

-more structure. The absolute BEST THING I have done for our lives in a long time is get an ipad. This thing is quickly becoming a 2nd brain for me! Even if you don't do wifi (we don't), everything still syncs. My dd's calendars from the imac, everything. Using that calendar function you can have alarms go off (even from sleep) to remind you of things. You can get checklists (we use Paperless) for their daily schedules. I even made a checklist for my ds, which he LOVES. My dd's daily checklists are all on there. They can do mindmapping on there, type their narrations or paragraphs, rest with worthwhile apps like Fluidity (visual sensory input), Diner Dash (processing speed), and Butterfly Farm (tracking, processing speed, remembering something from one day to the next). It has just been AMAZING for us. But that ability to have a checklist you actually want to check and want to use, that has been awesome. Makes it easy to implement the structure we need.

 

Some words of consolation. My dd was in 4th when my ds was born. It was a loss for part of that year for us, and it really didn't matter. You could cut those academics a lot (I know, even more than you feel like you have), only work 1-2 hours a day (which is all I'd work formally with a 4th grader anyway, the rest of the time should be reading and projects), and then get him outside to get more PHYSICAL and sensory. Do you have a single line swing in your home? Check out Sky Chairs. Anything else physical he does? So instead of spending lots of time and having it all be frustrating, just move on. Ditch all those things. Pick 3 things that can be done in 15 minute segments if you're there. Do those things and do nothing else. Seriously. And I'm hardpressed to think of what I'd pick from your list. I don't think JAG is good for this situation. It's worksheets, it's conceptual, no spiral. I love Shurley. Or look at Winston Basic. But seriously set the timer and stop at 5,10,15 minutes, NO MATTER WHAT. Make up some reasonable schedule that will work for him. If he doesn't transition, he may need to do those three short sessions at once. That's how we worked, but I could see other scenarios.

 

Seriously, I think at that age my dd maybe focused for 35-40 minutes of instructional work (subject after subject, short amounts) as I was describing. So that would be like 5 minutes on Shurley, 20 minutes on the BJU math (what we were doing at the time) and 10 minutes of something else. That was IT. Everything else was reading, activities, etc. I'm not remembering exactly. Just play with it.

 

The other thing for this age is to start finding what he's good at and harnessing it. He's going to be good at something, given how bright he is. He may feel better with an involved project each day he likes to hyper-focus on. He might enjoy his math if you picked just 15 problems from it but did them together as you made up stories to fit his favorite topic of the day. Writing, well I would have him write in various genres (prompts, short creative stuff, poetry, etc.) to work on flexibility. I don't think WWS is essential, and I don't think it fits all kids developmentally. You may be swimming upstream with some of this stuff. You may be able to come back to some of these good things (outlining, etc.) in 2-4 years and have a lot more success. Remember ADHD involves a developmental delay in the EF portion of the brain. Your np probably gave you some scores or age equivalents. Basically, at age 10 he could be functioning like a 2-7 yo with attention and ability to do things in order, transition, understand structure in writing, etc.

 

You'll figure it out. He's your first, so you're learning everything the hard way (aspie and adhd and growing up and...). You'll get there. Just don't be afraid to chop stuff and do something radically different that makes for peace. That was my point. If it's working outside on a wood project all day and only doing an hour of focused academics with you, that's fine.

[brownie]

Well I'm in the same place as you and trying to figure it out so you're not alone. It's actually a relief to see that 5th grade is a sticking point. We have a "former" Asp diagnosis. Waiting on ADHD testing results ( but I don't expect a clear cut answer) to see if we qualify for meds and biofeedback.

 

I can't tell if it's my higher expectations bc it's fifth grade and he's getting older, or if it's because I have 3 kids "full-time" for the first time this year spreading me thin. But he NEEDS me sitting over him the entire day if I expect any progress.

 

We've added a bit of weekend schooling with the deal that he gets time off Monday morning = to the time he worked. It's a win-win bc then I can work one-on-one with him and his brothers a little more, and it spreads his work out more. We do the caffeine in the morning and an omlette with flax seed filling. We do zinc, Mg, and C based on bloodwork. Also probiotics.

 

I could totally go with the recommendations here on following their interests, minimizing the work, etc...but I am concerned about re-entry into the real world. We're still trying to figure out what exactly the issue is though...it's hard when you can't actually prove anything's wrong. Talk about wondering if you're crazy and making excuses for your kid! or Just failing as his teacher and parent!

 

Brownie

[rafiki]

.

[funnygirl]

First of all, :grouphug:to the OP. Many of us have been right where you are, and it's no fun. I am a brand new homeschooler, started out extremely ambitious, and had to quickly come to terms with the fact that my dd13 can't do more than a couple of hours of "school" a day. Wow. Talk about a reality check.

 

But you know what? It also supports my decision to homeschool. No wonder she was having such a hard time in formal school (we tried private and public - no luck.) My favorite saying about homeschool is that it can be EXACTLY what your child needs, and that's ALL it has to be. Mine doesn't have to look like yours, or SWB's, or anyone's. It just has to be what MY dd needs. Isn't that freeing??

 

Now don't get me wrong, I struggle with the whole 'rigid' thing. But here's the thing: in the end, I want her to be prepared for LIFE. And I don't know about you, but my life (and I'm a bachelor's prepared RN) doesn't include every single little thing that we teach in homeschool. I don't speak Latin, I don't use geometry, and I never have to diagram a sentence. So yes, what we're teaching them is important, but it's important on a macro level, not a micro level. Keep building, keep moving forward. But remember, Rome wasn't built in a day (obv. we're studying the Ancients), and neither will our kids be educated in a day, or a week, or even a year. This is a process, and it's okay if that process is just a whole lot of teeny tiny baby steps.

 

Now, a thought on the meds. Have you tried plain old short-acting Ritalin? Just a small dose in the morning to get him through the couple of hours of school? Your ds sounds A LOT like my dd (severe ADHD) and we have dealt with the both the sleep interference and the rebound effects. I was thinking this might be short-acting enough that it any rebound effects could be "played out" in the afternoon, and it wouldn't cause insomnia. Might be worth a try.

 

Lastly, HUGE props to One l Michele and Oh Eliz for being the voices of wisdom on our board. The suggestions and encouragement that you ladies bring is invaluable. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

 

As always, wine and chocolate for everyone!!

[mo2]

:bigear:

[PeterPan]

I could totally go with the recommendations here on following their interests, minimizing the work, etc...but I am concerned about re-entry into the real world.

 

When did we leave the real world? :D

 

You mean go back to school at some point? You mean function in society? Be able to hold a job? Be able to show up at places on time or meet deadlines? Be able to do things you need to do even when you don't want to?

 

Some of those things are negotiable and some are things you are going to have to work on. Nobody is saying not to make them functional.

 

There are an awful lot of things that improve when you wait 2 or 3 years. Has nothing to do with NOT doing them, but just knowing when.

[brownie]

Not saying other people aren't living in the real world :) But yes...those are the issues I mean. We homeschooled more to his needs the past 2 years and it went well. For us personally, we are 1 to 2 years out from a return to public school so there is now more pressure to make sure he is ready to function there. That is stressing me out because it's not going well! If we planned to homeschool through HS, we could afford another 3 years of meeting him exactly where and how he is best educated. But we are beginning to get the wake up call that school is not all about academic success. Intellect we have...the other skills we don't.

 

My dh and I do talk about: how will he get to work on time, with the stuff he needs, do what he's told, be nice to people and produce quality work? I'm am genuinely concerned that my highly gifted kid will only be able to manage being stockboy at walmart and wind up depressed and miserable. If only I had a crystal ball...

 

Brownie

[Irishmommy]

Not saying other people aren't living in the real world :) But yes...those are the issues I mean. We homeschooled more to his needs the past 2 years and it went well. For us personally, we are 1 to 2 years out from a return to public school so there is now more pressure to make sure he is ready to function there. That is stressing me out because it's not going well! If we planned to homeschool through HS, we could afford another 3 years of meeting him exactly where and how he is best educated. But we are beginning to get the wake up call that school is not all about academic success. Intellect we have...the other skills we don't.

 

My dh and I do talk about: how will he get to work on time, with the stuff he needs, do what he's told, be nice to people and produce quality work? I'm am genuinely concerned that my highly gifted kid will only be able to manage being stockboy at walmart and wind up depressed and miserable. If only I had a crystal ball...

 

Brownie

Is this your 5th grader you are talking about?

 

Wow, Brownie, stock boy? That's harsh. I encourage you and your dh to try and focus more on his strengths. He has a LONG time before he has to have job skills honed. When I taught 9th grade in ps, MOST of my (regular Ed - not Pre AP) had NO idea what they wanted to do in life, where or if they wanted to go to school. Are they successful now...most are, some aren't. A great deal of them went into the military, and I am very proud of them. Who knows, maybe your son will be some sort of field operative and will spend very little time behind a desk, meeting deadlines! There are MANY successful people who didn't fit into a mold, who had "trouble" in the "real world"...Steve Jobs? I just encourage you to and me and everyone else who's child looks a little different than the "typical" child.

 

Brownie, I don't mean to single you out, and if I am way off base, please forgive me. I don't know you or your situation, so take it all with a grain of salt, but kids change so much in high school alone, I just didn't want you to throw in the towel with him just yet. And, I am sure you aren't because you are homeschooling him.

 

To the OP, we have had to increase my son's meds this year (5th grade), due to changes in his attention at the beginning of the year. Now, I can give him an assignment sheet for the week, and he can do it all and check it off. Does it get done when I think it should? No, but right now we are just celebrating the small victories. I also have just come to realize that he needs to read first thing in the morning in order to get focused. I didn't want to start the day this way, but it works best for him, and allows me to give my littles some attention at the beginning of the day!

:grouphug: to all of us!

[Irishmommy]

Also, I wanted to gush about our speech therapist!:001_smile:

 

We have started therapy this year with a fantastic therapist who is working with my son on communication issues. He has been working on staring, maintaining a conversation on a non-preferred topic, transitions between topics, verbal and facial expressions. I have seen a WORLD of difference in his ability to compose an essay. Before I would have to drag him through the pre-writing process, and after the first draft, he thought he was finished. He's now writing thoughtful reports and essays on various topics. I think that this is due, largely, because of his speech therapy. I am amazed to see how that work on communication sills over into the written word!

[rafiki]

.

[Finnella]

My DS is in 7th grade, and we're dealing with some of these issues. He has ADHD - Inattentive Type, Aspergers, LDs, and he's gifted. His academic problems got worse as he got older; sixth grade was awful. That was when I pulled him out of ps and started homeschooling.

 

We're using WWE4. I took someone's suggestion from this board and he does one of the dictations per week (not two). Before he does it, he does two days of that same piece as copywork. (We had a big improvement in handwriting this year with HWT cursive, so I don't want him to lose that.) That's helping a lot with the dictations. When he does summaries, I've started letting him write them without trying to get him to memorize them verbally first, and his summaries are usually decent. So I don't see the value in trying to force him to memorize the summary first.

 

I don't think WWE is playing to his strengths though, so I am planning to change writing curriculum for next year. It'll probably be IEW, despite the frightful cost.

 

I've taken OhElizabeth's advice, and we'll soon be starting the first Executive Function book from Linguisystems. I bought it during the recent sale.

 

My DS has been on Straterra for several years now. It's been very helpful with his focusing problems, and it doesn't aggravate his anxiety the way the Ritalin family of drugs do. He fought for a break from it a couple of months ago because he felt it stifled his creativity. Perhaps it does, but he is still incredibly creative when he's on it. The hiatus was a disaster, and he's back on his meds. His neurologist has also put him on a sleep med. because his insomnia (not tied to the Straterra) was aggravating his migraines.

 

Before the Straterra, we did try caffeine. It wasn't enough for my DS, but it might be enough for your child. My husband has ADD and it helps him, plus several of his co-workers self-medicate their ADHD with caffeine successfully.

 

My DS has really bad reactions to sugar: mood changes, irritability, more migraines, more focus problems. We revamped our diet this month and are eating a much more healthy diet. We had a very unfun sugar detox with him. That plus hormones is pretty awful.

 

Exercise is really important. Some days I have to make it an order, but it helps his mood and concentration so much. I also have quiet fidgets for him from The Therapy Shoppe. And if he gets too jumpy or frustrated, I'll have him take a break. Depending on the situation, it may be to go downstairs and do jumping jacks or it might be to read a book for fun. We use timers for that sort of thing so a 15 minute break doesn't spin out into an hour break.

 

MUS (we started in Alpha this school year) and Apples and Pears Spelling have been very successful for us. Before this year, math was his worst and most hated subject. He still struggles, but he loves math now and is doing much better. While he'll never be a great speller, I think A&P may get him to the point where spell check will be helpful. Before this year, his spelling was so awful that spell check was utterly useless.

 

I'm still doing a lot of the planning and organization for school. At his age, he should be doing more, but he isn't ready. I'm going to try for more of that next year.

[PeterPan]

Not saying other people aren't living in the real world :) But yes...those are the issues I mean. We homeschooled more to his needs the past 2 years and it went well. For us personally, we are 1 to 2 years out from a return to public school so there is now more pressure to make sure he is ready to function there. That is stressing me out because it's not going well! If we planned to homeschool through HS, we could afford another 3 years of meeting him exactly where and how he is best educated. But we are beginning to get the wake up call that school is not all about academic success. Intellect we have...the other skills we don't.

 

My dh and I do talk about: how will he get to work on time, with the stuff he needs, do what he's told, be nice to people and produce quality work? I'm am genuinely concerned that my highly gifted kid will only be able to manage being stockboy at walmart and wind up depressed and miserable. If only I had a crystal ball...

 

Brownie

 

I don't know. My dd has been doing stuff at co-op this year with a lot of responsibilities (deadlines, assignments, projects, etc.), and she has done it SWIMMINGLY. Her teacher was praising her to me tonight in fact. My dd is ADHD inattentive per the label, but she can do these things just fine. However she's two-3 years older than you're child (turning 13 this month) and makes EXTREME use of accommodations. We're not idiots. Everything goes on the calendar. She has on own account on the computer, her own calendar with reminders, checklists for the ipad, etc. etc. And no she was not doing this at 10, but she is now, with stuff she's engaged with. (engaged as opposed to doesn't give a flip about) Our neuropsych was very emphatic that a lot of this would pan out as she's engaged. The reading stuff that was blowing my mind (reads like the wind but no seeming comprehension) was a lack of engagement. It can be simple stuff on grade level, but no retention if no attention. Hand her an adult level biography on Queen Elizabeth I (Starkey, pick your author), and she's reading and making notes and comparison charts...

 

You totally CANNOT extrapolate now that what he's doing will be what he's doing in 3,5,10 years. He's multiple years behind developmentally with executive function. Yes, if you put him in school like that, with no effort to remediate it, no effort to build in the structures he needs for success, he'll flop. But IF he's engaged and IF you work on this stuff (via the EF workbooks, via everything you can find for processing speed, working memory, etc.), and IF you teach him the skills he needs and give him that structure, he's going to survive JUST FINE.

 

Let's get real about this. Often one of the parents is where the kid got it. Do you consider both of yourselves to be successful, livable people? There were a brilliant surgeon that used to go to our church (before he moved to a lucrative practice elsewhere) who was off the charts ADHD. It's not like this is some death sentence. You're looking way too into the IMMEDIATE. And yes, I think that's setting yourself up for failure to set some guideline by which you're gonna have him normal or else. That's not going to be reality. If he goes into school, he's going in as an ADHD kid who needs all the accommodations the neuropsych can possibly list. Nothing you do is going to change that. You can bump it or teach him to do things for himself, but he is who he is.

 

The blessed thing is these kids keep GROWING. I'm sure there are horrible cases that don't seem to, but our np told us that in general she's going to continue to mature and develop. She's just going to be x number of years behind in this area. So when he's in 9th gr and you're wanting to send him to the ps, you've gotta remember he has the EF of a 4-6th grader. And would you expect a 4th, 5th, or 6th grader to walk into that school and manage everything? Absolutely not.

 

Don't get so down, and don't set yourself up for failure. He's going to be just fine and grow into a productive, interesting human being to the extent that you nurture him now and let him grow into himself NOW. You don't want him so busy fulfilling someone else's conception of what children should become that he doesn't have time to become who he's meant to be. And it's not going to be pushing a broom, mercy. You've got to start looking for that in him, the good, the gift, the strengths. Right now, all I hear is what he CAN'T do. We know he can't do stuff. But even people who can't do a lot of stuff usually have SOMETHING they do well. That's what you've got to find and start nurturing. And when you do that and hook him up with ways to use that, you're going to see the development and the blossoming. Sixth and 7th grades are the start of the blossoming years. You're not really there yet.

Edited April 4, 2012 by OhElizabeth

[PeterPan]

As always, wine and chocolate for everyone!!

 

No, no, no! No more chocolate for me! I just lost another 2 pounds (after an initial 15), and I wanna keep it OFF!! :lol:

[Tiramisu]

I don't know. My dd has been doing stuff at co-op this year with a lot of responsibilities (deadlines, assignments, projects, etc.), and she has done it SWIMMINGLY. Her teacher was praising her to me tonight in fact. My dd is ADHD inattentive per the label, but she can do these things just fine. However she's two-3 years older than you're child (turning 13 this month) and makes EXTREME use of accommodations. We're not idiots. Everything goes on the calendar. She has on own account on the computer, her own calendar with reminders, checklists for the ipad, etc. etc. And no she was not doing this at 10, but she is now, with stuff she's engaged with. (engaged as opposed to doesn't give a flip about) Our neuropsych was very emphatic that a lot of this would pan out as she's engaged. The reading stuff that was blowing my mind (reads like the wind but no seeming comprehension) was a lack of engagement. It can be simple stuff on grade level, but no retention if no attention. Hand her an adult level biography on Queen Elizabeth I (Starkey, pick your author), and she's reading and making notes and comparison charts...

 

You totally CANNOT extrapolate now that what he's doing will be what he's doing in 3,5,10 years. He's multiple years behind developmentally with executive function. Yes, if you put him in school like that, with no effort to remediate it, no effort to build in the structures he needs for success, he'll flop. But IF he's engaged and IF you work on this stuff (via the EF workbooks, via everything you can find for processing speed, working memory, etc.), and IF you teach him the skills he needs and give him that structure, he's going to survive JUST FINE.

 

Let's get real about this. Often one of the parents is where the kid got it. Do you consider both of yourselves to be successful, livable people? There were a brilliant surgeon that used to go to our church (before he moved to a lucrative practice elsewhere) who was off the charts ADHD. It's not like this is some death sentence. You're looking way too into the IMMEDIATE. And yes, I think that's setting yourself up for failure to set some guideline by which you're gonna have him normal or else. That's not going to be reality. If he goes into school, he's going in as an ADHD kid who needs all the accommodations the neuropsych can possibly list. Nothing you do is going to change that. You can bump it or teach him to do things for himself, but he is who he is.

 

The blessed thing is these kids keep GROWING. I'm sure there are horrible cases that don't seem to, but our np told us that in general she's going to continue to mature and develop. She's just going to be x number of years behind in this area. So when he's in 9th gr and you're wanting to send him to the ps, you've gotta remember he has the EF of a 4-6th grader. And would you expect a 4th, 5th, or 6th grader to walk into that school and manage everything? Absolutely not.

 

Don't get so down, and don't set yourself up for failure. He's going to be just fine and grow into a productive, interesting human being to the extent that you nurture him now and let him grow into himself NOW. You don't want him so busy fulfilling someone else's conception of what children should become that he doesn't have time to become who he's meant to be. And it's not going to be pushing a broom, mercy. You've got to start looking for that in him, the good, the gift, the strengths. Right now, all I hear is what he CAN'T do. We know he can't do stuff. But even people who can't do a lot of stuff usually have SOMETHING they do well. That's what you've got to find and start nurturing. And when you do that and hook him up with ways to use that, you're going to see the development and the blossoming. Sixth and 7th grades are the start of the blossoming years. You're not really there yet.

 

I'd just like to add to these beautiful comments that these kids can do really well with outside structure. Somehow they lack it internally, but they can get into a great groove when it's provided for them (and sometimes from someone who isn't their mom. Sad but true).

 

My older one who seemed to have some EF struggles was great with all work and deadlines when in ps. With hsing, we still had to deal with the low processing speed, but she had internalized her ps schedule with regard to accountability and routines. Her coop work always gets done, and it gets done on time, maybe not 100 percent of the time but pretty darn close. It's not as easy with the work we do exclusively at home.

 

Now, one of my youngers, my EF nightmare has grown up tons. She comes home from school and has slowly, over a year, adapted to the homework right after school routine. She does what she's supposed to, when she's supposed to, as far as schoolwork goes. She LOVES her teacher and wants to perform well because of the positive feedback she gets. It has been a big motivator for her. Now, in the last month or two, something good is happening at home, too. She is starting to clean and organize her room and the dreaded "playroom", a.k.a. pigsty. (Is that how you spell it?) She's also become regular in her sleeping and waking, but her eating schedule is still weird.

 

Anyway, I'm just also wanting to throw out that the EF skills can and do come, but sometimes you have to do it, and as they get older, an outside motivator for accountability can help. :)

[MomatHWTK]

Sometimes you have to let go of one dream completely in order to grasp another with both hands. :001_smile:

[PeterPan]

Sometimes you have to let go of one dream completely in order to grasp another with both hands. :001_smile:

 

Oooo, pooetic! :)

[Irishmommy]

I read a book (can't remember the name of it now) that told me it was okay to grieve the child that you thought you would have, but then get over it and enjoy the one you have. That was very helpful for me at the time because the confusion of not knowing what the problems were kept me in that grieving state. I needed to get over it. My kid wasn't going to look like "all the other kids". So what? Get on with life...and that is what I did...

[mymommy1]

:bigear: these posts have been a blessing to me!

[MomatHWTK]

:)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welcome_to_Holland

[mom4peace]

I'm am genuinely concerned that my highly gifted kid will only be able to manage being stockboy at walmart and wind up depressed and miserable. If only I had a crystal ball...

 

Brownie

 

Brownie, I know what you mean. I find myself in a moderate amount of panic at times, wondering if those planning and organization skills will ever kick in...and if he'll seriously be miserable down the line. As much as I talk to myself firmly at those points, reminding myself that he's only 14, that he has plenty of time to grow, those fears are real. I worry that he'll be angry at me for not helping him gather those skills, although I've done all I know how to do. This twice-exceptional stuff is rough, and while the worries may seem crazy to some, they are real and can weigh heavily on the mind. Thanks for sharing your concerns.

[Finnella]

Sometimes you have to let go of one dream completely in order to grasp another with both hands. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:

IMO, I think it's natural to go through a grieving process when we find out we don't have the child we thought we had. It doesn't mean that our children are a lost cause. It does mean that our kids will be going in a new direction, and it may end up end in a great place. In the meantime, we have lots of work to do to help them.

 

:grouphug:

[Tokyomarie]

Probably all kids hit the puberty thing (which confounds the rest in a really BAD way) at different ages. My dh says that's what's going on with dd. I'm sure it will get worse. Another mom told me 14 was golden for her girl, the age when the angel returned, so I'm planning on it. Gotta have something to look forward to, lol. She's in her room this morning for being disrespectful and crabby. It's SO not a fun age.

 

The hardest years for my oldest who has no LDs were 11-13. From 14 on, we had ups and downs but a definite upward trend.

 

I had a much harder time in many ways with my younger two until they were 16yo. They really were/have been on a delayed developmental trajectory with respect to their ability to handle their hormones/strong emotions/whatever it is that makes teenagers hard to live with. Youngest is gradually coming out the other side and he is 17yo.

 

Of course, then we have the whole final push for independence tussle that happens as they come to 18 or 19yo- though I'm finding that navigating the earlier puberty stages well seems to help this one not be as difficult as the earlier years because we've worked so hard on communication skills.

[PeterPan]

Marie, that's a really fascinating explanation. Thanks! :)

[brownie]

Brownie, I know what you mean. I find myself in a moderate amount of panic at times, wondering if those planning and organization skills will ever kick in...and if he'll seriously be miserable down the line. As much as I talk to myself firmly at those points, reminding myself that he's only 14, that he has plenty of time to grow, those fears are real. I worry that he'll be angry at me for not helping him gather those skills, although I've done all I know how to do. This twice-exceptional stuff is rough, and while the worries may seem crazy to some, they are real and can weigh heavily on the mind. Thanks for sharing your concerns.

 

Thank you...I'm not crazy for worrying and I appreciate you acknowledging that I'm not the only one who thinks like this. They can't all turn out to be billionaires with LD's. Could my son do it? I believe he has the potential to be successful but only if I can raise him right + find the keys to helping him. I do have hope and I am giving him a chance....it is because I care so much and I'm trying so hard that I am frustrated and worried beyond belief.

 

BTW every kid is different and I know in my heart that my son is at risk because I know my son. Every kid with these issues may not be at risk or the same risk. My son has mild Asp and is quite brilliant. Our specialist, who has these issues himself, told me he has a 50% chance of crashing and burning...we're in a rough place. He will likely either excel or struggle a lot. There is not likely to be an in between outcome. That may not be the situation for everyone here. It really hurt to have people think that worrying about my own son meant I was giving up on him. I desperately need answers...people desperately seeking answers haven't given up hope?!

 

Brownie

[sweetsouthern]

i didnt make it through all the posts, but this was my dd at 9/10 as well. she hit a brick wall and we were going so slow and so far behind i thought we never get caught up!! meds finally did help.

 

just throwing it out there, intuniv, its not a stimulant. may help with calming and focus, shouldnt have bad weight loss either. there are meds to help him sleep, and actually increase appetite.... trazadone is the one i can think of we used with dd a while back. also, as elizabeth mentioned, try a little caffeine.... i can have a calming affect on some adhd children (mine one of them lol!).

 

another thought, and you may not like this one :D but maybe lighten up your curriculum choices. we had to swicth curriculums a few times, especially math because dd could just not do an hour a day of math even on a good day. we are using CLE and it has done wonders!! her test scores by the way have come up wonderfully since the past 2 years.

 

hth!! :grouphug:

[funnygirl]

BTW every kid is different and I know in my heart that my son is at risk because I know my son. Every kid with these issues may not be at risk or the same risk. My son has mild Asp and is quite brilliant. Our specialist, who has these issues himself, told me he has a 50% chance of crashing and burning...we're in a rough place. He will likely either excel or struggle a lot. There is not likely to be an in between outcome. That may not be the situation for everyone here. It really hurt to have people think that worrying about my own son meant I was giving up on him. I desperately need answers...people desperately seeking answers haven't given up hope?!

 

 

I hear you, loud and clear. I think it is especially important that on this board, where we are ALL dealing with VERY difficult issues in our kids, we remember to be supportive first, and judgmental never. It is just not helpful. We are all grieving, we all hurt, and if we are going to be vulnerable and share our pain, we need to know that this is a safe place to do it.

 

The fact is that many of us have children who the research proves are highly at-risk. These kids are more likely to use drugs/alcohol, get pregnant, have a car accident, drop out of school, etc. And all the wishing and hoping in the world won't change that. Sometimes we need to be able to admit that this feels hopeless and it hurts and it's not what we thought we were signing up for. That doesn't mean that we're not doing EVERYTHING in our power on a daily basis to change the outcomes. But it means we are realistic in our outlook. And there's not anything wrong with that!

[Guest]

It is hard and don't think that the diet has miraculously solved all our issues.

 

After posting this I found out that you need to be gluten free for at least 3 months and casein free for at least 3 weeks. I have seen a huge improvement in Adrian. Any ADD inattentive signs have pretty much disappeared. However, we have been on the diet for about two months (I did not make note of the exact date), so I am really looking forward to see what other changes we will see after the gluten clears our system. I felt the need to add that for future reference and for others that may be considering the diet. Not calling it a miracle cure but I feel that a holistic approach, which is what we are doing, is at least worth exploring for those that have not gone that route.

[Guest]

I think it is especially important that on this board, where we are ALL dealing with VERY difficult issues in our kids, we remember to be supportive first, and judgmental never.

 

I like what you posted here and wholeheartedly agree. :iagree:

[PeterPan]

Any ADD inattentive signs have pretty much disappeared.

 

So the fact that my symptoms (whatever they are) remain just goes to show I actually have Alzheimers. :D Seriously, we've eaten defacto gluten-free in our house for 10 years. The nutrionist I've used all this time pulls everyone off wheat and dairy and uses alternate grains (which I think tend to be the low gluten ones from the lists I've seen) in limited amounts. I'm still crazy. :lol:

 

Thing is, I'm not as crazy as I USED to be. And when I have children come over to my house for a while and eat my food, they usually slow down. Wild rice and salad every day will do that to you. I'm so mean. :lol:

 

So seriously, I definitely think food has an effect, because I've lived it. However it's not going to cure *everything*. We eat really, really well (all organic, lots of salad and fruit, blah blah). Still have the problems, just a lot less. The psych didn't want my dd on meds at all, despite her label.

[honeymommy4]

this might sound contradictory but can you have him play music on headphones while doing the work? I'm not sure about it but DH prefers to work this way and it actually helps him process faster - so he suggested I try it with DS for math. it "seems" to be working.

it might be worth a try - just for one or 2 days. I'd let him choose the music, too. We are using Christian rock, but just meant, something that he likes to listen to.

 

I would have never suggested this until DH mentioned it the other night. it is COMPLETELY opposite of how I prefer to work: in complete silence. :)

[Guest]

So the fact that my symptoms (whatever they are) remain just goes to show I actually have Alzheimers. :D Seriously, we've eaten defacto gluten-free in our house for 10 years. The nutrionist I've used all this time pulls everyone off wheat and dairy and uses alternate grains (which I think tend to be the low gluten ones from the lists I've seen) in limited amounts. I'm still crazy. :lol:

 

Thing is, I'm not as crazy as I USED to be. And when I have children come over to my house for a while and eat my food, they usually slow down. Wild rice and salad every day will do that to you. I'm so mean. :lol:

 

So seriously, I definitely think food has an effect, because I've lived it. However it's not going to cure *everything*. We eat really, really well (all organic, lots of salad and fruit, blah blah). Still have the problems, just a lot less. The psych didn't want my dd on meds at all, despite her label.

 

Elizabeth, I have read and read my post and have yet to figure out how my words have offended you or your family :confused:! How does any improvement I have observed in my child automatically imply all that about yours :confused:? I am really sorry you feel that way! I am also really sorry that the diet has not helped your family as much as you have hoped because I personally would always hope and pray for the best for yours and anyone's family on this forum. I will not bother to explain my post because I think that what I was trying to say was pretty clear. If my comments have offended you or anyone else, then I am sorry!