3browneyedboys4me Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 You've gotten a ton of advice on ending *or* maintaining this friendship, so I really don't think I have much to add. The only comment I really wanted to make was that I was most disturbed by the fact that she talked with your daughter after you left the table?!! What is that about?! I just think that is pure manipulation. I am thinking distance. A nice 'hi' and 'bye' and small talk. Whatever. But, definitely not someone I would 'trust'. And, bottom line, if you can't trust her, what is there? I think it comes down to just that very thing. I hate to see you lose a friend, but she just doesn't seem like a person you would want to be around your child. I'm sorry about your daughter. I can't imagine an adult not understanding certain things just shouldn't be discussed. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treestarfae Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I might be misunderstanding your tone, but please remember that my daughter has been very sick and had surgery less than three weeks prior to us withdrawing her from school. We were mid-way through January before the vomiting stopped. By February the stomach-aches were slowing down and we were able to stop some of her medication. The diarrhea only stopped two weeks ago and we discontinued the last of her medicine. I have put a huge amount of work into my daughter already. We have worked slowly, taken many breaks, given lots of reassurance and settled her down. My daughter LIKES "Ms Debra" and would have been distressed immediately if any confrontation had taken place during lunch. (And would have still had the symptoms afterward). She would have felt like she was to blame. She and I have already spoken about what happened and I told her that some people don't understand homeschooling and just smile politely when things like that happen. At this point, I am only now trying to take her to a new level of independence. All of the past few months have been spent on lots of comfort and reassurance. My 10 yoDD could learn how to politely disengage from the conversation. My littlest one is not there yet. There's no tone. I hope your daughter fully recovers. It's not easy hanging out with people that aren't fully supportive of homeschooling. Not sure that's good company for either of you unless you take it in stride. It's hive mind vs hive mind and you have to be prepared for people's opinions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 She is aware of your child's health issues and confronts your DD when you leave the table? Sorry, that isn't a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I might be misunderstanding your tone, but please remember that my daughter has been very sick and had surgery less than three weeks prior to us withdrawing her from school. We were mid-way through January before the vomiting stopped. By February the stomach-aches were slowing down and we were able to stop some of her medication. The diarrhea only stopped two weeks ago and we discontinued the last of her medicine. I have put a huge amount of work into my daughter already. We have worked slowly, taken many breaks, given lots of reassurance and settled her down. My daughter LIKES "Ms Debra" and would have been distressed immediately if any confrontation had taken place during lunch. (And would have still had the symptoms afterward). She would have felt like she was to blame. She and I have already spoken about what happened and I told her that some people don't understand homeschooling and just smile politely when things like that happen. At this point, I am only now trying to take her to a new level of independence. All of the past few months have been spent on lots of comfort and reassurance. My 10 yoDD could learn how to politely disengage from the conversation. My littlest one is not there yet. At 7 I wouldn't expect her to be. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I would absolutely tell her that all issues concerning dd, homeschool and the like, are not open for discussion again, and especially not in front of dd. When you are with your (passive aggressive) friend and she brings these topics up again, whether dd is present or not, I would smile and say in the most kindest way I could, "This is not open for discussion," and repeat as necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 This is not someone I would keep as a friend. It was incredibly disrespectful of her not to back off. Someone like this will never treat you with respect...it will always be the sugarcoated opposite. :iagree: 100%. If you decide to keep this person in your that is your choice but please make sure she is never near your daughter. What a horrific thing to say to a little girl with anxiety issues. She clearly has no regard and no expect for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susankenny Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Wow! Great balls of fire! Your new friend is both hostile and ignorant. I would keep your "friendship" work related only & forget about lunches and get together's. Not cool of Debra at all! Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Do you have any updates? I was wondering if you talked to her yet and how the conversation went! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Do you have any updates? I was wondering if you talked to her yet and how the conversation went! :grouphug: :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I'm wondering, too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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