Christy B Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Well, this is a fine pickle I've gotten myself into. We let dd apply "for practice" to an early college program. She was invited to an overnight visit . . . it started to appear that she would be accepted. We asked and found out that she could defer enrollment for one year, no need to re-apply, and decided -- great! She'll have a wonderful senior year, knowing she is all set to attend her first choice college . . . The acceptance letter came. They are offering her the absolute top merit scholarship. We can, with careful budgeting and shifting some funds, make up the difference (at least for the first year -- and then start saving like crazy for the the rest). Dd says that if possible, and if we give permission, she would very much like to go ahead and start. She wants to do a 5 year masters program in mathematics; she sees starting a year early as a great way to not lose motivation to pursue the more demanding program. I'm torn and need some objective insights, please. The particulars: The school is Mary Baldwin College in Staunton VA. It's a women's college. DD will be applying to (and we feel confident accepted to) a program within the school known as Virginia Women's Institute for Leadership (sister program to Virginia Military Academy). It's the only all-female cadet corps in the county (maybe in the world?) Were she to apply for an ROTC scholarship, she would get a free ride, but she is not ready to commit, at 17, to years of military service after college. However, she is definitely interested in entering the Air Force after college. She'll make that decision at the end of her sophomore year. She can stay in VWIL all four years even if she decides not to commission. There will be quite a few other younger-than-traditional students all throughout the college, including within the VWIL program. They would likely assign her a roomate the same age. Within the VWIL program, each freshman is assigned an upper classman as a mentor and "big sister" as well. VWIL is highly structured: for example, drill at 5:30 am every morning. Mandatory study hall between the hours of 8 pm and 11 pm -- no phone, no facebook, no TV (and yes, they enforce). Staunton is my home town; we live less than four hours away, but my best friend, aunts & uncles, and cousins would be about five minutes away. She would have a wonderful support network. Because of the highly structured format, and the proximity of close friends and family, I'm inclined to let her spread her wings. She is already quite independent and has proven herself to be responsible and capable. She's been involved with Civil Air Patrol and has been something of a prodigy there -- rising through the ranks quickly and earning a lot of respect along the way. She's already acclimated to the para-military mindset and protocol. Oh, and she would be in the band platoon so I have no real concerns about her adapting socially -- she'll be with "her people". My hesitation is along two lines: academic and "living skills". Academically -- she looks amazing on paper. Because of four years of band, Civil Air Patrol, 4H, and martial arts lessons, she has a wonderfully well-rounded transcript. Her grades are all As and Bs. My worry is that as a homeschooler from the beginning, I have no point of reference as to whether or not she is really on par with her peers with a similar transcript. My friend's child is in honor classes in public school and I can tell that his courses are much more demanding than my dd's. Her writing skills are very, very weak. She has a B from a 200 level college history class on her transcript. But because it was a dual-enrollment program specifically for homeschoolers, I was encouraged to help her with her papers. So she got that B with help. The college does have a writing lab and they strongly encourage students to ask for as much help as they need. Upper classmen in the VWIL program are also required to help the lower classmen (in fact, they know if their lower classmen are falling behind in a class and will go insist that they help!) So there is support there. Living skills -- well, this is a child who STILL uses me as her human alarm clock. It's been a point of contention all the way through high school. She's even known that it's one of the markers we are looking for in determining whether she is mature enough to go to college -- she's still not getting out of bed in the morning. However, I've heard that she is the first one up at a CAP event. I imagine her fellow cadets will not allow her to oversleep, since the whole flight will be penalized if they are late to drill. But still, it concerns me. She is also a total slob! I do not want to send her off to college a year early so that she can struggle for the next five years, if keeping her home one more year will make the college experience more rewarding and less stressful. At home, she could probably take a couple of community college classes to lighten her course load for at least her freshman year. We could work hard on writing (not that we've made much progress in the last 11 years!). And she could have another year to mature. And learn to get OUT OF BED. On the other hand, she doesn't love school for the sake of school. I would hate for her to be bored and restless her senior year and decide not to go to school at all. (That happened to me.) Writing will always be her weak spot, will one more year make that much difference? And with me in the bedroom next to hers, will she really learn to take responsibility? If you've read this far, thank you!! And if you have any thoughts, angles to consider, "here's what you're overlooking" advice -- I would certainly appreciate it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstenH Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Yes, yes, yes. Send her if she wants to go! She will get out of bed because she won't have you to fall back on. She will write to the best of her ability, and maybe struggle, but one more year is not going to magically fix that if writing is her weak spot. You couldn't have a more perfect set-up for this. Isn't Mary Baldwin the college that has the program for younger gifted girls, too? So it's not like she'd be the youngest girl around. Obviously you need to do what's right in your own opinion, but I would absolutely send her. Heck, I'm excited for her just reading about this! (ETA: I went to college at 16 and yes, it was a big adjustment, but I grew a lot.) Edited March 23, 2012 by KirstenH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I didn't start college a year early, but I do know that going away to college made me more responsible. I came home for a semester and was willing to take on more of the family responsibilities without being asked or nagged to do so. The writing labs, the professors, and it sounds like the upperclassmen are there to help if a freshman is having some difficulty. Is she willing to reach out to the resources that are there when she is having a problem? That is half the battle. Being driven to succeed is the other half and it sounds like she has that drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I would let her go and take advantage of that wonderful opportunity. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Yes, yes, yes. Send her if she wants to go! She will get out of bed because she won't have you to fall back on. She will write to the best of her ability, and maybe struggle, but one more year is not going to magically fix that if writing is her weak spot. You couldn't have a more perfect set-up for this. Isn't Mary Baldwin the college that has the program for younger gifted girls, too? So it's not like she'd be the youngest girl around. Obviously you need to do what's right in your own opinion, but I would absolutely send her. Heck, I'm excited for her just reading about this! (ETA: I went to college at 16 and yes, it was a big adjustment, but I grew a lot.) Exactly what changed our mind -- she will likely ALWAYS count on me to get her out of bed, if I am there. And she is a math/science major -- writing will ALWAYS be her weak spot. Yes, MBC has two programs for younger students -- one for the very young and very gifted, and then the early college program for high school juniors and seniors (it is this program that accepted her into the college). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thanks, everyone! 3 for 3 positives -- very encouraging! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I went a year early, at 17 years old. I never regretted it, not once. My only concern is the schedule you mentioned. If she is in study hall until 11pm, doesn't get back and in bed until midnight, and then has to be somewhere at 5:30 am that doesn't sound like NEAR enough sleep for a teen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 I went a year early, at 17 years old. I never regretted it, not once. My only concern is the schedule you mentioned. If she is in study hall until 11pm, doesn't get back and in bed until midnight, and then has to be somewhere at 5:30 am that doesn't sound like NEAR enough sleep for a teen. I wonder about the schedule, too. I think the study hall hours are in the dorm (although they are allowed to go to the library). I believe the emphasis is on "no phone, no facebook, no TV" during those hours, as opposed to actually insisting that they study. Definitely a concern, but I may have mixed up "curfew" with "study hours". I agree, 11 pm to 5:30 am would not be enough sleep for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 It sounds like a good fit and a good opportunity for your daughter. I think the early morning drills will force her to learn to get up without you waking her. If she stays home, I doubt she'll magically change her ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 She will be fine. I've raised several teens, my own plus steps and fosters. They were almost all lazy slobs at home but managed well enough once they got out on their own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I would let her go. I also started college early (although I lived at home) and it was the best thing for me for many reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 My dd is in an early college program but it's in our home town. She did well her first semester but it was a lot of work. She wasn't used to the style of testing and keeping so many classes going all at once since we homeschooled year round. The students are all so young. My feelings remain the same as when she started. It would work either way but be easier if she waited. She was determined to go and made it work. If your dd can't easily get a good paper written, it will take even more time for rewrites. It sounds like the study skill program/hours will help a lot. My feelings would be to send her if it won't hinder her to have a rough ish first semester. If every grade is going to count and she's going into something extremely competitive I would have her wait. I wish her well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 My dd is in an early college program but it's in our home town. She did well her first semester but it was a lot of work. She wasn't used to the style of testing and keeping so many classes going all at once since we homeschooled year round. The students are all so young. My feelings remain the same as when she started. It would work either way but be easier if she waited. She was determined to go and made it work. If your dd can't easily get a good paper written, it will take even more time for rewrites. It sounds like the study skill program/hours will help a lot. My feelings would be to send her if it won't hinder her to have a rough ish first semester. If every grade is going to count and she's going into something extremely competitive I would have her wait. I wish her well. Does/did your daughter live at home, or on campus? And do you believe that her determination to go and make it work was a determining factor? (As opposed to, say, had she been ambivalent?) I appreciate your insight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 My dd is living at home. It is just too close to spend the extra money for her to live on campus. She does have a study room in the dorm. It's amazing really that some students just don't get up for classes. I would think getting up for PT would have you awake. :D Dd has a friend in a similar situation as your dd, Air force, wants to be an aeronautical engineer. She is very self disciplined and gets great grades. She's very smart but also just doesn't hang out quite as much as the other kids. I would worry more about if your dd is academically ready for the program of study than the day to day living. They work out the latter. But that said getting into an early entrance program can get you going with peers who want to do well. I don't know if I'm answering your questions so feel free to ask more. I do understand your confusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 More thoughts. I think that their determination makes a big difference. But if there are areas of study that need work they don't realize how much time that can take. Can she get through massive amount of reading, writing, group work, presentations, labs, tests... ? The self discipline to tell your friends that you have to study when they don't is enormous. That would be my big concern if she's going in a highly competitive direction. We have a friend that is going to do the same program as dd but wants to move on to something where he'll need stellar grades. He just doesn't get how much easier it would be to wait another year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooooom Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 She will still be 16 when she gets there. She has wanted to work with animals since she was a little girl, and the lab there has monkeys, reptiles, birds, rodents, etc. She will be in 7th heaven with all the opportunities open to her. She is so excited and I know she is mature enough to handle it. I am so proud of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tardis Girl Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I have a 16yo (turning 17 this summer) going off this fall as well. I am sad that this period of our lives is ending, just for my own feelings of missing the daily interaction, but I do think it will be a wonderful next step for her. She is going across the country and sure, she has some issues -- I wish her room were cleaner, I wish..., I wish..... But *I* still have issues too! ;) She's got a good head on her shoulders, she will continue to learn as she goes. One thing that I think may make your situation different and harder -- I've known for the past 2 years that she *might* go off a year early. Wasn't sure until this past fall. I think it would be harder, emotionally, to have all this come up for you guys in such a short time. Good luck with everything!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 (edited) Staunton is my home town; we live less than four hours away, but my best friend, aunts & uncles, and cousins would be about five minutes away. She would have a wonderful support network. All of this would be huge if I were in your shoes. She has a strong local network, and you could get there within a day's drive if needed. My dd is also in VA - it's beautiful there! And sadly I'm about 5 times as far away as you are! But Skype is our best friend ;) Edited March 31, 2012 by readwithem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Mary Baldwin is wonderful at supporting young students-they have some starting there as early as 12-13. I'd go for it if the scholarship makes it achievable and she wants to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 We've signed on the dotted line . . . she starts in the fall! She was accepted into the VWIL program, which is incredibly structured. It's one of the reasons we said "yes". Dd needs the structure and accountability, we believe. YAY! We have peace about our decision. Thanks for all of your comments; it was helpful to think through the different angles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Congratulations on your decision. I'm sure she'll do well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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