trlt Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 For those who have a child that has a dairy allergy, do you just make separate things for that child or does your whole family follow a non-dairy diet? My dd is 5 and just was diagnosed with a dairy allergy after 5 years of arguing with doctors and trying to find out what was wrong with her. This is one of the cases where "google doctor" was an invaluable resource and helped diagnose my dd. I am overwhelmed right now...she is allergic to the protein so it's all dairy she can't have. I don't want her to feel bad if everyone else is eating something with real cheese in it but I know my older kids are not going to give up dairy! Do I just prepare two meals when necessary or do I change our way of eating? It's already becoming so hard to have to tell her "no, you can't have that because there is dairy in it"...and it's only been a week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 We did both. When ds was very young, all 3 of us were DF for safety. Around 3 years old, I started teaching him that certain things were not safe. I would have regular ice cream and tell him, very matter-of-fact, that this is not safe for you, let's go get some soy ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftymama Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 If he couldn't have it, no one ate it. At the time we found out he was the only one so it was a little easier to do it that way. I had a few thoughts about it, first I didn't want an accident to happen and second I didn't want to make six meals a day instead of three and I didn't want to always be in the kitchen. Ds was allergic to eggs as well which was harder for dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 We do both, if I can make it safe I will and many thing I just substitute butter and milk for earth balance and soy milk...but things that I can't sub like Mac and cheese I make something else similar so elbow noodles. I do require breakfast snack and lunch are safe always and dinner is the only thing I make 2 meals if necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 (edited) For his non-anaphylactic allergies the rest of the family can eat the allergic thing. However, all or most family meals don't have foods with his allergies. In other words, he can safely eat anything I serve at the table but his twin might have some x or y in his portion or in addition to what we serve. For example yesterday his twin had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch (my son is avoiding peanut butter due to tree nut allergies and propensity to develop an allergy per the allergist but not actually allergic) while his sandwich is Sunbutter. Today his taco shell will be safe while his twin has one that contains a non-anaphylactic allergen. I probably wouldn't do that but his twin is a very picky eater. If it's a matter of sprinkling cheese on the portion for someone else I'd probably go ahead and do that but I would hesitate to make a main dish for a family meal where dairy was a major component. It just seems sort of isolating to not be able to share in a family meal. Edited to add: when my son was little and didn't understand/was adjusting to his allergies, which did include dairy at the time, I did have his twin avoid the same foods. It was too hard to watch his brother eat cheese while he couldn't. Edited March 21, 2012 by sbgrace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I don't have to cook entirely separately for ds. It's usually possible to set aside a portion of whatever I am making and keep it dairy-free. If I want to make lasagna, I just make a separate pot of noodles for him. He eats spaghetti, and we eat the lasagna. If I want to make pizza, I just set aside some dough for him. The dough is dairy-free for all of us. I make a big pizza with cheese and a little pizza for ds without cheese. Most things can work this way. I cook mostly with oil rather than butter. If we must use butter, then I use ds' dairy-free margarine. I do keep regular butter in the house for toast and for things that ds will not be eating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 For his non-anaphylactic allergies the rest of the family can eat the allergic thing. . This. For allergies that are life and death - literally - our house is completely free of those allergens. A mistake is too serious. For allergies that increase eczema, asthma, or other symptoms that are treatable, the allergen is allowed in the home. You'll find what works for your family soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 For his non-anaphylactic allergies the rest of the family can eat the allergic thing. However, all or most family meals don't have foods with his allergies. In other words, he can safely eat anything I serve at the table but his twin might have some x or y in his portion or in addition to what we serve. For example yesterday his twin had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch (my son is avoiding peanut butter due to tree nut allergies and propensity to develop an allergy per the allergist but not actually allergic) while his sandwich is Sunbutter. Today his taco shell will be safe while his twin has one that contains a non-anaphylactic allergen. I probably wouldn't do that but his twin is a very picky eater. If it's a matter of sprinkling cheese on the portion for someone else I'd probably go ahead and do that but I would hesitate to make a main dish for a family meal where dairy was a major component. It just seems sort of isolating to not be able to share in a family meal. Edited to add: when my son was little and didn't understand/was adjusting to his allergies, which did include dairy at the time, I did have his twin avoid the same foods. It was too hard to watch his brother eat cheese while he couldn't. Bolding mine. It's easier here since we have one child and his dairy allergy was diagnosed when he was 3 months old, so he didn't have the experience of eating food he's allergic to. Nuts stay entirely out of the house (anaphylaxis). We have a special shelf in the fridge that has dairy on it and the other shelves are dairy free. We generally only eat dairy after he's in bed (every so often I have to have a cupcake from the grocery store... we don't eat them in front of him). My husband will have ranch dressing at dinner occasionally, but we basically are allergen free at meals. It's a lot tougher with multiple kids and different allergens. After my son's anaphylaxis, we made a rule that food didn't leave the kitchen/dining room. There are some snacks we buy that are only for our son - Enjoy Life chocolates or cookies... expensive!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weddell Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I make most meals allergen free so that everyone can eat and not feel left out. There are a few things where I make a similar alternative instead. Like sometimes I make pasta with a cheese sauce and I make an alternate dairy free cheese sauce for the kids. I just split the pasta into two bowls before adding sauce. If we have ice cream or another treat, I either make sure we have an dairy free version or we don't eat it in front of the kids (wait until they are in bed). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Thanks for the replies. I should have mentioned that her dairy allergy is not life-threatening. She actually doesn't show the normal signs that you would expect with a dairy allergy, which is why it took so long for the doctors to find the problem. Granted, if she continued to eat dairy then she could have potential life long problems but it hasn't gotten that far. I think I am just overwhelmed because it will be a big change for all of us. Dairy is a big staple in our home. The other major problem is my DH is a very picky eater and he loves cheese and cream sauces, etc. Not to mention I have two teenage boys that love dairy, as well. DD's birthday (the big 5!) is tomorrow and her favorite thing in the world is pizza so I bought a dairy free cheese substitute and tried it out on her for lunch yesterday and she LOVED it. When I made it she had turned it down because it had cheese (she knows how miserable dairy makes her and really is happy that she feels better) but once she knew it was "good cheese" she tried it and liked it. I also made her vegan cupcakes that I have to say are pretty dang good! I guess I will try to follow her lead and see if it is a big deal to her. I think that I will try to make most of our meals dairy-free without even saying anything and we will see how long until they notice! The hardest thing will be going out places or to birthday parties and telling her that she can't have cake, etc. She really will be frustrated. We are supposed to go to her friends party on Saturday but I am wondering if we should just stop by and leave before they have cake so it won't be an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 The hardest thing will be going out places or to birthday parties and telling her that she can't have cake, etc. She really will be frustrated. We are supposed to go to her friends party on Saturday but I am wondering if we should just stop by and leave before they have cake so it won't be an issue. Sometimes moms of kids with allergies bring their own safe ice cream and cake and pizza to parties, so their kid doesn't have to go without and can still enjoy the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I take safe cupcakes to parties for my son. Cupcakes usually freeze well if you want to make ahead. I'm not sure how I would handle the teens and picky husband thing. :grouphug: I will say that, outside of the exclusion aspect, it would be a real pain to make two completely different meals, which is what you might be doing if your common meals are heavy on dairy as a main component. Can the teens and/or hubby take turns making their favorites while you make yummy alternatives for you, your daughter, and anyone else who wants to share? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Another vote for taking safe cake & ice cream. We keep some frozen, just in case something comes up suddenly, too. Ditto for eating out. If you call ahead or even speak to the manager when you arrive, it's often fine to bring an allergic child's food. We have never had a problem doing so. The big thing for us is getting the table and chairs wiped with a clean rag - always feels like such a production! But your DD doesn't sound like she'll need that. :) Don't let allergies stop you from living! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cottonmama Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 My ds isn't old enough to really care yet, but I'll tell you what I've done in case you can adapt it to your family. First thing I did when I suspected the allergy was that I made list of all of the meals we make that can be made allergen-free. (I like to keep my meal ideas on pinterest, but that's a subject for another thread.) Many pasta meals can have parmesan put on top for everyone else, and can have oil substituted for butter. Same way with chili -- ds doesn't get cheese to put on top, but he can have everything in the chili itself. When I make cupcakes or muffins I look for recipes calling for oil, and then I substitute rice milk for the regular milk. DH is happy enough with this. When we have pizza I pick off the cheese for ds. That might not work well for a 5yo or someone with a stronger reaction to dairy. When we have mashed potatoes, I scoop off enough potatoes for ds after they're cooked but before they're seasoned. Oil, garlic, salt, and pepper make an enviably good mashed potato... sometimes I sneak some of ds's 'cause it's better than ours. lol I haven't figured out a good solution for scrambled eggs. I need cheese and butter and milk for mine, so I just make it twice. It's annoying but ds likes his dairy-free eggs and I do. not. Some meals that have cheese mixed in we have given up. I imagine we'd do more of that if ds was older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I cook mostly allergen free for the whole family. Dairy becomes so very easy to get rid of (though it doesn't seem that way at first). Occasionally I will put cheese on Dh's portion of food (enchiladas for instance) and he has a container of milk for his cereal. The rest of us just eat dairy free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Between my husband and son, we have so many allergies that I just cook the entire meal allergen free. Dairy/lactose free, gluten free, nut free and nightshade free. It's.....not easy. But it's easier to eliminate all the allergens and start from there. But if it is just the one allergy, I agree with others when they say to set aside a portion and make a dairy free alternative. But do teach her about what is safe and what isn't - it's surprising to learn what has hidden dairy. I make sure that Deacon reads labels with me all the time so he knows what to look for. Also, I'm glad that you finally have answers! Hope she gets to feeling better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 When DS was allergic to Dairy (he outgrew the serious allergy and its now downgraded to intolerant) I did as others did here. I am allergic to meat, so I would start out with a vegan dish, add meat for the meat eaters and dairy for the dairy eaters (cheese). Now we can all have cheese and butter again, so I only have to sub milk. That is super easy to do in cooking, we use rice milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 We have one child who can't have dairy. She had problems with it as a baby/toddler and we thought she had outgrown it but we just found out this month that it is likely the cause of a host of problems with her. We have decided to try to eliminate dairy in the house as much as possible. She craves it and, IMO, it is sort of cruel to make her watch the others eat it when she can't. Almost all of her favorite foods are dairy! I think that once she has been dairy free for longer that we will be able to bring some back for the rest of us, but for now the other kids can have it at restaurants but we won't be buying more. I'm not a big fan of dairy anyway as far as the health benefits of it, so I'm sort of glad to have this motivation to really reduce everyone's consumption. I do like it, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 (edited) Two of my kids have some level of dairy intolerance (I doubt it is an actual allergy), as does our autistic teenage housemate. All food is prepared dairy-free so that everyone can eat it. The foods are totally complete without dairy (no setting aside a serving before adding dairy - we use alternatives for dairy-ingredients), and we don't provide the dairy-intolerant with something totally different. However, those who tolerate dairy still eat it as an add-on (eg. cheese on a hamburger, dairy-based salad dressing). If it were a potentially life-threatening allergy where trace exposure was a concern, we'd be an entirely dairy-free household. If the child with the dairy problem really craved it and watching other people eat it was causing a lot of stress, we'd probably cut it for everyone, but it hasn't been a huge issue in that respect. Parties haven't been an issue for us (the problems aren't serious enough for occasional exposure to be an issue, at least once they're old enough to care), but if they were, I'd bring a special safe treat. Edited March 21, 2012 by ocelotmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Indy had milk protein and soy allergies as a baby and has now been downgraded (or would that be upgraded?) to milk protein intolerance like the pp and has no issues with soy. They were not life threatening though. Until he was 5 or so, I just scooped some of whatever I was making out before the dairy went in and made his dairy free. James Bond and I are huge cheese addicts so giving up cheese was just not something we could do, despite the fact that we are both lactose intolerant. I know, I know, it's bad, but there you have it. Now that he's just intolerant, he does occasionally have things with dairy in them, but he knows there will be h3ll to pay later as he will be gassy and crampy. He generally avoids the dairy, but at parties he will have a piece of cake and tiny amount of ice cream and sometimes a slice or two of pizza. When he had the allergy though and could handle any dairy, I bought "Rice Cream" and made dairy free cupcakes if we went to a party so he wouldn't feel left out. We're hoping he'll outgrow this completely. Han Solo has a milk protein and soy allergy too. Ugh. Of course he gets no dairy or soy. He's on a script formula and drinks rice milk when he doesn't have formula. I'm hoping he'll outgrow this too. Sigh. If we had a life threatening allergy, we would all go allergen free. Even if it meant giving up cheese! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Be very, VERY careful with the fake cheese. Often it does contain milk proteins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Be very, VERY careful with the fake cheese. Often it does contain milk proteins. I actually found that out the other day. My hubby brought home some fake cheese and I was reading the label and found out it had dairy in it. I just went to the store today and spent forever reading labels...I hope it will get easier in time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 DD5 has been off of dairy since she was about a year old. if she had dangerous reactions, I would have taken it out of the household, but she only had GI/eczema problems, so I just modified our diets. She gets rice milk, goat cheese, soy yogurt and rice ice cream. Sometimes I make a dairy free version of our meal, sometimes I make both a dairy free version and a regular version, and sometimes she gets something else entirely. It all depends on what the item is, and if I have an easy substitute that she likes (she doesn't like warm goat cheese- so no goat pizza, goat grilled cheese or such). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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