I am seriously traumatized

[Guest]

Here's the thing... I live in Wyoming. Most of the things you are mentioning simply aren't an option. At all.

 

It sounds like you don't have many options at all. So you have to choose from the ones you do have. Have the homebirth and if something goes wrong, wind up at the hospital you do not like. Or, go immediately to the further, but better, hospital and have your baby there. As parents we have to make decisions that are safest for our children. You might want a homebirth, but under your circumstances, it doesn't look like it's the best option. If you do it anyway, and there is a problem, you'll have to deal with that. I do not mean to sound heartless, but it looks like that's the way it is out there.

[HayesW]

Have a homebirth with a trained midwife. I wouldn't want to return to that hospital either, for any reason. I am so sorry for your difficult birth.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

OP, does your mother or MIL live near a good hospital? I once stayed with my Mom (in a different state) for the last few weeks of a pregnancy so I could have a much safer and better birthing situation. It was hard, I had other small children with me and I had to be away from DH, but it was worth it.

 

I had a homebirth with my eldest but I wouldn't plan a birth at home without a good hospital nearby. And I wouldn't advise a woman who has already given birth three times to plan to make it to a hospital an hour away. That's too far!

[Guest]

OP, does your mother or MIL live near a good hospital? I once stayed with my Mom (in a different state) for the last few weeks of a pregnancy so I could have a much safer and better birthing situation. It was hard, I had other small children with me and I had to be away from DH, but it was worth it.

 

I had a homebirth with my eldest but I wouldn't plan a birth at home without a good hospital nearby. And I wouldn't advise a woman who has already given birth three times to plan to make it to a hospital an hour away. That's too far!

 

 

That's also a good point. If she has the risk of not making it if she left right when she went into labor, a homebirth under those cirsumstances just seems like it's asking for trouble. I just don't feel it's worth the risk. If there was a hospital she liked right there, I wouldn't have this attitude, but she doesn't like that hospital. I just don't know what to advise here. OP, you should start asking the hospital in question about their procedures. Maybe this midwife has exaggerated the situation.

[Bluegoat]

I've also heard of people having "home" birth in a hotel or cabin rental closer to a hospital. Personally I would do something like that before going into a hospital again to give birth.

[Whereneverever]

I've also heard of people having "home" birth in a hotel or cabin rental closer to a hospital. Personally I would do something like that before going into a hospital again to give birth.

 

I am strongly considering that option.

[Susan C.]

She was. :(

 

Then you don't want to use that hospital!

 

I don't want to birth in the hospital unless I need to, though. I just want a decent transfer option. :(

 

Then how about a midwife in the city an hour away?

 

No offense, but this is completely wrong, and is the sort of advice that kills people.

 

"Almost an hour" is "fine" if everything goes well with the birth and no emergencies develop.

 

I didn't mean that an hour was fine when labor was going bad, sorry I didn't clarify. I meant an hour to drive at the very beginning of labor.

 

Lack of a good transfer options is a reason not to consider homebirth. I live in a metro area with a good hospital 15 minutes away. If you have a good midwife who is doing her job monitoring you and the baby, she'll detect the need for transfer in plenty of time.

 

I would start by interviewing more midwives. Are there any birth centers available to you that are close to the hospital? Are there any natural birth friendly hospitals? Are there any hospital midwives that are very natural birth friendly?

 

Again, can you find a midwife near the hospital an hour away? Then you can try for a midwife birth (at a birthing center), and have a good transfer option.

 

Best of luck!

[MomatHWTK]

My 4th baby was on his way hard within an hour after my water broke. When we got to the hospital they fast tracked us ahead of everyone else and didn't even take time to fill out any paperwork (almost unheard of nowadays.:glare:)

[NicAnn]

I'm sorry this is such a hard decision! Birth options are always full of pros and cons, it seems.

 

I have had clients come to Colorado from Wyoming for births before. I'm not sure where you are exactly or if that's an option for you. I can recommend some great CO midwives, and the birth center in Denver is excellent.

[Mothersweets]

Didn't this happen to someone on the board sometime in the last year?

 

I'm fuzzy on the details, but I believe it was an emergency at a hospital without a 24-hour anesthesiologist.

 

I'm thinking the same thing. I also remember her saying it wasn't as horrible as we all thought it was. Perhaps I'm remembering wrong. :scared:

 

eta-Oh, I finished reading the thread and see that someone remembered it was Martha. She is one tough lady. I've given birth twelve times and I bow to her.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Mothersweets

[Pretty in Pink]

It happened to a mother here on this board within the last year (forgive me, I cannot remember her screen name). She was carrying twins, something went terribly wrong and those babies would have died had they waited for anesthesia before they sectioned her. It does happen, but those are extreme, life or death situations.

 

There has got to be more to the story. I think it's unfair of your midwife to spout off a story that makes the hospital sound negligent if she doesn't have (or doesn't divulge) all of the details. She shouldn't be resorting to scare tactics like that.

 

Anyway. Lack of a good transfer option would close the door for me. I wouldn't homebirth in that situation. I'm not opposed to homebirth; I considered it with my last delivery. I would never consider it were there not a good transfer option.

[dragons in the flower bed]

:svengo:

 

My last was an emergency c-section. They had to get the baby out TWO MINUTES AGO and they couldn't wait for anesthesia to start working. I don't remember anything past the initial cold sensation of the scalpel first touching me. My ex used to say, though, that he would never forget the sound of my scream. I have no memory of screaming at all. They put me under general anesthesia as soon as they had the baby out.

[hsmom2011]

:eek:

[Whereneverever]

:grouphug: to all the mamas who have had this happen. I had no idea it was common enough that it had happened to people here.

[Guest]

:grouphug: to all the mamas who have had this happen. I had no idea it was common enough that it had happened to people here.

:iagree: How awful. :grouphug:

[Murphy101]

I'm pretty sure it was Martha.:(

 

Yes, it was Martha who had the emergency c-sec with no anesthesia. Her midwife made mistakes and was reluctant to call for an ambulance. The ambulance crew made mistakes, too. In the end, the baby was fine.

 

Martha you are a rock star! :scared::svengo:

 

I'm thinking the same thing. I also remember her saying it wasn't as horrible as we all thought it was. Perhaps I'm remembering wrong. :scared:

 

eta-Oh, I finished reading the thread and see that someone remembered it was Martha. She is one tough lady. I've given birth twelve times and I bow to her.

 

 

Yes, that was me. That baby is 10 months old now. Whew. That's gone by quick!

 

You can look up what I wrote way back then in June of 2011.

 

It was rather... Terrifying. But I lived through it. *gulp*

 

The hospital did have an anesthesiologist on staff, several. None were available. Idk why.

 

The actual cutting open isn't the worst part. Honestly I've had vaginal labors that hurt more than that. I groaned really loud, but stayed still and stayed aware. However, when they start restuffing you? THAT is bar none the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I believe that's when I started screaming a discordant messy combination of hail Mary's and OMGs. I think they got about 1/2 way done sewing me before someone finally managed to run in with a needle of something to knock me out completely.

 

For my poor dh the worst was the 2 hours after that. He hated hearing my pain from the hall, but hearing me meant I was at least alive. They wouldn't let him see me or the baby at all or give any info on me for about 2 hours iirc.

 

So.

 

To sum.

 

It's unlikely.

 

But if it happens, you'll simply do what mothers have done for millennia. You'll deal with it and, God willing, hold the most beautiful of babies as your reward. (Seriously. Nothing against my other, which I mighty fine specimens of humanity too, but it's like every pain was turns to beauty for this boy. I don't think I've ever had a baby so sweet and good natured.)

 

People say things like how brave I was or whatever. I'm a big pansy wuss and I know it. But the choice was my pain or my baby. Which isn't any choice at all.

 

When the time comes, you'll do what you have to do and chances are good it won't be anything like my experience.

[Whereneverever]

Yes, that was me. That baby is 10 months old now. Whew. That's gone by quick!

 

You can look up what I wrote way back then in June of 2011.

 

It was rather... Terrifying. But I lived through it. *gulp*

 

The hospital did have an anesthesiologist on staff, several. None were available. Idk why.

 

The actual cutting open isn't the worst part. Honestly I've had vaginal labors that hurt more than that. I groaned really loud, but stayed still and stayed aware. However, when they start restuffing you? THAT is bar none the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I believe that's when I started screaming a discordant messy combination of hail Mary's and OMGs. I think they got about 1/2 way done sewing me before someone finally managed to run in with a needle of something to knock me out completely.

 

For my poor dh the worst was the 2 hours after that. He hated hearing my pain from the hall, but hearing me meant I was at least alive. They wouldn't let him see me or the baby at all or give any info on me for about 2 hours iirc.

 

So.

 

To sum.

 

It's unlikely.

 

But if it happens, you'll simply do what mothers have done for millennia. You'll deal with it and, God willing, hold the most beautiful of babies as your reward. (Seriously. Nothing against my other, which I mighty fine specimens of humanity too, but it's like every pain was turns to beauty for this boy. I don't think I've ever had a baby so sweet and good natured.)

 

People say things like how brave I was or whatever. I'm a big pansy wuss and I know it. But the choice was my pain or my baby. Which isn't any choice at all.

 

When the time comes, you'll do what you have to do and chances are good it won't be anything like my experience.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Dustybug]

Yes, that was me. That baby is 10 months old now. Whew. That's gone by quick!

 

You can look up what I wrote way back then in June of 2011.

 

It was rather... Terrifying. But I lived through it. *gulp*

 

The hospital did have an anesthesiologist on staff, several. None were available. Idk why.

 

The actual cutting open isn't the worst part. Honestly I've had vaginal labors that hurt more than that. I groaned really loud, but stayed still and stayed aware. However, when they start restuffing you? THAT is bar none the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I believe that's when I started screaming a discordant messy combination of hail Mary's and OMGs. I think they got about 1/2 way done sewing me before someone finally managed to run in with a needle of something to knock me out completely.

 

For my poor dh the worst was the 2 hours after that. He hated hearing my pain from the hall, but hearing me meant I was at least alive. They wouldn't let him see me or the baby at all or give any info on me for about 2 hours iirc.

 

So.

 

To sum.

 

It's unlikely.

 

But if it happens, you'll simply do what mothers have done for millennia. You'll deal with it and, God willing, hold the most beautiful of babies as your reward. (Seriously. Nothing against my other, which I mighty fine specimens of humanity too, but it's like every pain was turns to beauty for this boy. I don't think I've ever had a baby so sweet and good natured.)

 

People say things like how brave I was or whatever. I'm a big pansy wuss and I know it. But the choice was my pain or my baby. Which isn't any choice at all.

 

When the time comes, you'll do what you have to do and chances are good it won't be anything like my experience.

 

I am in awe of you Martha. I just shared your story with DH and he said, "I want to meet that woman and give her a hug." :D