ereks mom Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Ugh. I had one of those dreams last night. I can't explain exactly why I found it so disturbing, but I've felt bothered by it all day today. :( It doesn't help that today's been cold and wet and dreary. I dreamed that my children were little again, but they lived with someone else, and my input wasn't welcome. I've been dealing with "anticipatory empty nest syndome" and that's been on my mind a lot lately, but this dream was just bizarre! Here's the dream: My mom & I visited the home where my little-again ones lived. They lived in a kind of condo/apartment complex, and the next-door neighbor was a woman who had 8 children, and she homeschooled them. The family with 8 children had a treehouse right outside their front door, and there were boxes of books right next to the tree, because their kids had been reading up in the treehouse. The mom told me how much she loved books. Then we went next door where ER & EK now lived, and their "other mom" was kind of ...I don't know... indifferent towards them. The living space was kind of plain--not dirty or even cluttered, just not particularly inviting--and somehow lacking in personality. Actually, I guess the "other mom" was the dc's step-mom because their "other dad" had apparently divorced their "other mom" and remarried. That part wasn't clear, because their "other dad" wasn't present in the dream (and neither was dh, for that matter). The "other mom" seemed to want us to go away so she could get back to whatever she was doing, which wasn't spending time with the kids. ER was about 4 or 5, and his "other mom" didn't want him to sleep with his beloved Baby Bear, which IRL, was his constant companion when he was very young. I asked him about it, and he told me that he hadn't slept with Baby Bear in a long time, and now it was up on the shelf in his room. I sat in a big chair with ER right beside me, just like when he was a little guy, and I hugged him close and said, "You are a good, sweet boy, and I love you very much", which is something I used to do all the time when he was little. He snuggled right up to me. EK was an infant, and she was asleep on the couch. The step-mom had left the room briefly, and EK scooted to the edge and fell off. She would have hit the floor, but I caught her just in time. She didn't even wake up, so I just cradled her and when the step-mom came back, I told her what had happened, but she seemed unfazed. Somehow, we got on the subjects of the dc's names, and the step-mom commented in particular that she didn't like ER's name. After awhile, we had to leave, and I felt so terrible leaving my babies there with this woman who didn't love them and wouldn't nurture them. When we left, it was dark, and it was cold and damp outside. The neighbor mom had taken her boxes of books indoors. I remember thinking that at least maybe I could see ER & EK sometimes, because in the dream, dh & I were thinking we might move into an apartment right across the courtyard. I woke up feeling like I was profoundly grieving. To top it off, dh was out of town, and I couldn't even wake him to tell him about it--which I certainly would have done if he'd been home! How's that for bizarre??? :confused: I think I just need a hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Here are some hugs :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I hate weird dreams, too, especially the very vivid ones, like the one you had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes, I have and it's horrible :grouphug: It hasn't happened to me in a long time but I remember the last one I had: it took most of the day and I had to spend a long time in prayer and reading my Bible to feel like I was "free" of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 :grouphug: Yes, I have. The worst was the one in which my dh dropped my ds, then 2, down a nine-flight stairwell. The ones that involve our children tend to really follow us all day, don't they? :grouphug::grouphug: A good night's sleep will help it fade. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Sounds to me like your brain is helping you process being an "empty nester" soon. And it doesn't sound like you're looking forward to it! Your concerned because, as grown up as your children are, they are still your babies. And they're about to go "off into the world", the unknown, where you won't be able to keep a careful eye on them and protect them. You're going to have to let someone else (college, boss, etc) be in charge of them and that's hard for you to accept, especially since you've put so much of yourself and your time into raising and training them. Am I close? There's nothing wrong with you or your dream. Your simply processing everything. Maybe why you felt "off" today is because it forced you to confront what you've been wishing you didn't have to face. Just my two cents. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I had a dream very, very similar to that just a couple of weeks ago. And it did kindof cast a shadow over my day. The only difference- I'm nowhere close to being an empty nester. In my dream, I was the one that was younger- I was in high school and my daughter (18 months irl and in the dream) belonged to someone else. I remember so vividly the desperation I felt in the dream. I HAD to have her. Like your dream, when the parents weren't around I was whispering to her about how wonderful/precious/special/beautiful/smart, etc. she was. I was plotting ways to kidnap her. It was the desperation that bothered me so much, even when I woke up and knew it was just a dream- I couldn't shake the stomachache and the post adrenaline-rush that accompanied the desperation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I have had dreams like this. I once had a series of dreams where I was given charge of a baby or small animal and terrible things happened to them. In one, I had a hamster, and my mother deliberately put a weird blood sucking animal in the cage with it. Recently I had a compromising dream about a rather non-sexy political figure - that freaked me out for a few days in a totally different way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes! This recently happened to me! The worst part is that the dream was TOTALLY not realistic, but I couldn't talk myself out of the strong emotional response. In my dream I stuffed all four of my children into a compartment underneath my motorcycle seat and drove off to do errands. :confused: When I realized it must have been hard for them to breathe/dangerous I immediately woke up. And I felt really horrible and guilty all day! (!) Isn't that weird?! (Oh I can laugh about it now, but I couldn't talk myself down all day!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Sounds to me like your brain is helping you process being an "empty nester" soon. And it doesn't sound like you're looking forward to it! Your concerned because, as grown up as your children are, they are still your babies. And they're about to go "off into the world", the unknown, where you won't be able to keep a careful eye on them and protect them. You're going to have to let someone else (college, boss, etc) be in charge of them and that's hard for you to accept, especially since you've put so much of yourself and your time into raising and training them. Am I close? There's nothing wrong with you or your dream. Your simply processing everything. Maybe why you felt "off" today is because it forced you to confront what you've been wishing you didn't have to face. Just my two cents. :) Thanks, and I agree. There's also a situation involving some neglected (IMO) children in my extended family, and I've been stressing over that as well. I'm powerless to do anything to help, but my heart goes out to the children. I'm sure that scenario played a part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Sounds to me like your brain is helping you process being an "empty nester" soon. And it doesn't sound like you're looking forward to it! Your concerned because, as grown up as your children are, they are still your babies. And they're about to go "off into the world", the unknown, where you won't be able to keep a careful eye on them and protect them. You're going to have to let someone else (college, boss, etc) be in charge of them and that's hard for you to accept, especially since you've put so much of yourself and your time into raising and training them. Am I close? There's nothing wrong with you or your dream. Your simply processing everything. Maybe why you felt "off" today is because it forced you to confront what you've been wishing you didn't have to face. Just my two cents. :) :iagree: Exactly what I was going to say. I dream vividly. Sometimes I wake up crying or laughing or terrified or talking. And sometimes if it is a reach back into my past it puts me in a funk for days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Well here's a hug :grouphug: Yes, I've had some doozies; one only last week and I'm still not quite over it! I think my subconscious is a stinking smart alec who should be slapped. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Well I for one don't appreciate your dream's bias against stepmoms. Some of us are quite fantastic, if I do say so myself. :D (See, a little joke. Don't you feel better now? :tongue_smilie:) :grouphug: Sorry about your dream. I frequently have dreams related to whatever I'm currently worrying about. I take it as an indication that I need to be in prayer more over the situation, giving my worries over to the Lord. But that's just me; not saying you need to do that necessarily. My dh has dreams that I cheat on him sometimes, and is actually mad at me about it the next day. :lol: Wonder what that says about us? Hunh; on second thought, I probably don't want to know. :001_huh: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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