Is this normal?

[Nakia]

I have a quirky kid, my 8 year old. She's always been...a little different. She's very bright and talented, but she lacks some self-confidence. She is very set in her ways and doesn't adapt to change very well. I've posted about her before. She is often anxious and has to take things very slowly and really warm up to a situation. She is also very very kind and very in touch with others' feelings. She is my most nurturing child, always the first to rush to "take care" of someone who is sick and comfort someone who is hurting. She's very touchy-feely, and she's just really sweet and happy most of the time!

 

She cries at the drop of a hat, about things that don't seem "cry-worthy" to me, lol. She will cry if she doesn't know her math problems. She will cry if I look at her with a stern face. She will cry if she can't find the boots she wants to wear. You get the idea. She doesn't have a strong-will (thank God considering her older sister has a will like a dang bull) and is very easy to correct and discipline. I think that's just her personality, and we are working on working through her feelings and talking about things. She is very receptive and is doing really well. She is just a doll.

 

Here's what I'm wondering about. She doesn't cry about things that are serious. She shed about 2 tears when her cat got run over last year (she did open up a bit more in the next few weeks afterward). She didn't cry when our dog killed our chickens. She didn't cry when my grandmother died in October. She didn't cry today when my mother's dog died. I did find a notebook where she hadn't written a long letter about her cat. Most of the time when she is weepy about some of the other stuff, I can't get her to talk to me about it, but I can get her to write about her feelings. She writes very very well.

 

So my question is this: Is it normal for a child to cry about "minor" things and not about "major" things? I would never tell her that she is wrong to be crying or fuss at her, but I'm curious. It just seems so odd to me. I've asked her about it, but she says she doesn't know why she does that. Is this really weird?

[*********]

I have a quirky kid, my 8 year old. She's always been...a little different. She's very bright and talented, but she lacks some self-confidence. She is very set in her ways and doesn't adapt to change very well. I've posted about her before. She is often anxious and has to take things very slowly and really warm up to a situation. She is also very very kind and very in touch with others' feelings. She is my most nurturing child, always the first to rush to "take care" of someone who is sick and comfort someone who is hurting. She's very touchy-feely, and she's just really sweet and happy most of the time!

 

She cries at the drop of a hat, about things that don't seem "cry-worthy" to me, lol. She will cry if she doesn't know her math problems. She will cry if I look at her with a stern face. She will cry if she can't find the boots she wants to wear. You get the idea. She doesn't have a strong-will (thank God considering her older sister has a will like a dang bull) and is very easy to correct and discipline. I think that's just her personality, and we are working on working through her feelings and talking about things. She is very receptive and is doing really well. She is just a doll.

 

Here's what I'm wondering about. She doesn't cry about things that are serious. She shed about 2 tears when her cat got run over last year (she did open up a bit more in the next few weeks afterward). She didn't cry when our dog killed our chickens. She didn't cry when my grandmother died in October. She didn't cry today when my mother's dog died. I did find a notebook where she hadn't written a long letter about her cat. Most of the time when she is weepy about some of the other stuff, I can't get her to talk to me about it, but I can get her to write about her feelings. She writes very very well.

 

So my question is this: Is it normal for a child to cry about "minor" things and not about "major" things? I would never tell her that she is wrong to be crying or fuss at her, but I'm curious. It just seems so odd to me. I've asked her about it, but she says she doesn't know why she does that. Is this really weird?

 

Nakia, I think Zee is related to your dd. :tongue_smilie:

 

Everything I bolded is completely true about him.

 

He cries about math all.the.stinking.time. And the boy is GIFTED in math! Urgh. If he thinks I may have sort of spoke sternly to him, he cries. He is the sweetest, most eager-to-please, most thoughtful 8 year old I've ever met. Though I may be biased. ;)

 

But when dh's mother died last year? His beloved Nana? Not. A. Tear.

 

Not when we had to tell him, not at the funeral, nothing.

 

He loved nana a great deal. He was closest to her out of all six of his granparents.

 

We never did figure out why he didn't cry. In fact, we were really starting to worry about him. Eventually, we just accepeted it as one of his quirks.

 

BTW, your daughter sounds lovely. Perhaps someday, when they're, you know, like 30 or so, we should introduce Zee and her. :D

[Nakia]

Nakia, I think Zee is related to your dd. :tongue_smilie:

 

Everything I bolded is completely true about him.

 

He cries about math all.the.stinking.time. And the boy is GIFTED in math! Urgh. If he thinks I may have sort of spoke sternly to him, he cries. He is the sweetest, most eager-to-please, most thoughtful 8 year old I've ever met. Though I may be biased. ;)

 

But when dh's mother died last year? His beloved Nana? Not. A. Tear.

 

Not when we had to tell him, not at the funeral, nothing.

 

He loved nana a great deal. He was closest to her out of all six of his granparents.

 

We never did figure out why he didn't cry. In fact, we were really starting to worry about him. Eventually, we just accepeted it as one of his quirks.

 

BTW, your daughter sounds lovely. Perhaps someday, when they're, you know, like 30 or so, we should introduce Zee and her. :D

 

Whew! Good to know I'm not alone with a kid like this. It just seems so weird to me! I am a huge cry baby, but I like to think I'm an equal opportunity crier, lol.

 

Sorry to let you down, but Emma swears she is NEVER getting married, lol. Instead she wants to live here with me and take care of me forever. To some, that sounds sweet. To me, it just sounds like it's not gonna happen. :D And besides how in the world could we deal with them crying all the time??? :lol:

[happi duck]

I have a quirky kid, my 8 year old. She's always been...a little different. She's very bright and talented, but she lacks some self-confidence. She is very set in her ways and doesn't adapt to change very well. I've posted about her before. She is often anxious and has to take things very slowly and really warm up to a situation. She is also very very kind and very in touch with others' feelings. She is my most nurturing child, always the first to rush to "take care" of someone who is sick and comfort someone who is hurting. She's very touchy-feely, and she's just really sweet and happy most of the time!

 

She cries at the drop of a hat, about things that don't seem "cry-worthy" to me, lol. She will cry if she doesn't know her math problems. She will cry if I look at her with a stern face. She will cry if she can't find the boots she wants to wear. You get the idea. She doesn't have a strong-will (thank God considering her older sister has a will like a dang bull) and is very easy to correct and discipline. I think that's just her personality, and we are working on working through her feelings and talking about things. She is very receptive and is doing really well. She is just a doll.

 

Here's what I'm wondering about. She doesn't cry about things that are serious. She shed about 2 tears when her cat got run over last year (she did open up a bit more in the next few weeks afterward). She didn't cry when our dog killed our chickens. She didn't cry when my grandmother died in October. She didn't cry today when my mother's dog died. I did find a notebook where she hadn't written a long letter about her cat. Most of the time when she is weepy about some of the other stuff, I can't get her to talk to me about it, but I can get her to write about her feelings. She writes very very well.

 

So my question is this: Is it normal for a child to cry about "minor" things and not about "major" things? I would never tell her that she is wrong to be crying or fuss at her, but I'm curious. It just seems so odd to me. I've asked her about it, but she says she doesn't know why she does that. Is this really weird?

 

For us, not weird. Most of this describes my dd (older teen) too. She will get very upset about 'little' things but she is the voice of reason and comfort in the 'big' things. Also, very talented, bright and artistic but not confident. We look at it as components of her gifting that she needs to learn to cope with, KWIM?

[Guest submarines]

I have a quirky kid, my 8 year old. She's always been...a little different. She's very bright and talented, but she lacks some self-confidence. She is very set in her ways and doesn't adapt to change very well. I've posted about her before. She is often anxious and has to take things very slowly and really warm up to a situation. She is also very very kind and very in touch with others' feelings. She is my most nurturing child, always the first to rush to "take care" of someone who is sick and comfort someone who is hurting. She's very touchy-feely, and she's just really sweet and happy most of the time!

 

She cries at the drop of a hat, about things that don't seem "cry-worthy" to me, lol. She will cry if she doesn't know her math problems. She will cry if I look at her with a stern face. She will cry if she can't find the boots she wants to wear. You get the idea. She doesn't have a strong-will (thank God considering her older sister has a will like a dang bull) and is very easy to correct and discipline. I think that's just her personality, and we are working on working through her feelings and talking about things. She is very receptive and is doing really well. She is just a doll.

 

Here's what I'm wondering about. She doesn't cry about things that are serious. She shed about 2 tears when her cat got run over last year (she did open up a bit more in the next few weeks afterward). She didn't cry when our dog killed our chickens. She didn't cry when my grandmother died in October. She didn't cry today when my mother's dog died. I did find a notebook where she hadn't written a long letter about her cat. Most of the time when she is weepy about some of the other stuff, I can't get her to talk to me about it, but I can get her to write about her feelings. She writes very very well.

 

So my question is this: Is it normal for a child to cry about "minor" things and not about "major" things? I would never tell her that she is wrong to be crying or fuss at her, but I'm curious. It just seems so odd to me. I've asked her about it, but she says she doesn't know why she does that. Is this really weird?

 

The first paragraph describes my 9 yo, exactly. But her core personality is different, so she rarely cries, other when she is in pain. What I noticed, though, is that when her injury is very minor, she will cry as though her leg is being cut off. But when she had more serious injuries, she was able to hold it together really well and didn't melt down. I'm not sure what it means, but it is normal for her.

 

I wonder if crying becomes sort of a habitual, easy response to minor upsets. DD, for example, realises that things that seem huge to her, are actually minor to other people--she gets the discrepancy. Maybe when she realises that the upset is actually *big*, she processes it differently.

Edited December 20, 2011 by sunflowers

[happyhomemaker]

I didn't cry frequently as a child, but I was prone to crying for smaller things as opposed to big events.

 

My grandfathers died within 6 weeks of each other when I was 7. I didn't cry either time. I was close to both of them and loved them dearly, but when I was told of their passings, I just couldn't cry. I felt so guilty about it. I thought for a while that there must be something wrong with me. Looking back, I think that I cried at times with high emotion: frustration, anger, pain, etc. Learning of the loss of a loved one took so much to process and the sadness left me so drained that I couldn't cry. Even now, I don't cry when I lose someone close to me. It's like my brain is processing the fact that I now live in a world that is missing someone I care about and it takes a while to adjust fully to what that means and the lasting effect it will have on my life. I do cry eventually, but not usually when I first hear the news.

[Sasharowan]

I wasn't, and still am not, much of a crier. My Great-Grandma died when I was 18. It wasn't until 6 mos later, in a fight with dh, who was bf at the time, I broke down and cried over my Grandmother. Dh was confused, but comforted me anyway.

[Paige]

My DDs are criers. They cry about everything like you have described your DD. If a butterfly lands on their hand and flies off, they will cry. I think it is a stress/frustration/anger reaction with the minor things. With the big things, I believe the feeling of sadness is much deeper and very different than the feeling of frustration and hurt when things aren't as we want them to be. I think that most people associate crying with sadness but it isn't always the emotion that is prompting the tears. My DDs do cry about big things but not as easily, not for as long, and not as openly. IMO, they internalize the big hurts more.

[The Girls' Mom]

It sounds a little like me. I am much more likely to cry out of frustration than I am out of sadness. I don't know why...it just is! Not being able to decide what is for dinner (with a dab of PMS thrown in) is more likely to bring tears than thinking about my mother who has passed away.

 

She'll be able to function just fine as an adult (although she might get a few :glare: from a future spouse when crying over oddball stuff)

[MamaT]

Nakia, you just described Max as a child. :001_smile: Don't worry - it's just her way.

[arghmatey]

Maybe she's just okay with death, and that's fine.

[fairfarmhand]

 

I wonder if crying becomes sort of a habitual, easy response to minor upsets. DD, for example, realises that things that seem huge to her, are actually minor to other people--she gets the discrepancy. Maybe when she realises that the upset is actually *big*, she processes it differently.

:iagree: yes this!!!!

[Nakia]

I feel so much better reading your responses!! Thank you so much!!!

 

 

Nakia, you just described Max as a child. :001_smile: Don't worry - it's just her way.

 

Well, people don't get any better than Max! I'm not going to worry anymore! Thank you and love you much!!

[MathGirl]

Sounds a lot like my 8 year old DD.