Should I have said something?

[JulieH]

I beg to differ. Just because someone is a Christian does not make them susceptible to sin. Yes, as a Christian they should want to resist sin, but it doesn't mean that they don't ever fall into it. I can't name many Christians who have repented and lived a perfect life afterwards. I see that verse more as saying, "If you want to point out someone elses faults, you better take care of your own first." That can happen to Christians, even after repenting. None of us are perfect.

 

I TOTALLY agree!

[SailorMom]

There are probably pregnant people who talk on cell phones while driving, too.

 

Funny you say that - I wasn't thinking exactly that at the time - but similar :)

[JulieH]

I said absolutely not. It was none of your business.

 

Also, not commenting shouldn't have anything to do with respect for the host, but rather simply knowing your place, that it is none of your business, that it would have been very inappropriate and rude, and as you mentioned, that she already knows it's bad. It's 2011. She knows.

[DarlaS]

No, I would not mention it at all. What good would it do? Education level is irrelevant - I think everyone knows smoking is bad and bad for pregnant women/their babies.

If it were a close friends and if the subject came up I would let them know I would be a support person if they decided to quit.

 

Everyone knows. This is true. That comment about her having a degree kind of annoyed me at first for that reason.

 

Still... she does have more access to resources for dealing with addiction. So from that standpoint, education and being a well-paid professional means she has means of dealing with this and chooses not to. And her dh is a doctor!

 

Still, I would not have said anything. There's nothing I can say she hasn't heard before...

[Trish]

For those who said they would say something, what specifically would you have said?

 

Well at least we know HER response (best case scenario): "Pass the bean dip." :D

[Caribbean Queen]

I beg to differ. Just because someone is a Christian does not make them susceptible to sin. Yes, as a Christian they should want to resist sin, but it doesn't mean that they don't ever fall into it.

 

 

I think you mean that Christians are as susceptable to sin as anyone else. I disagree. Christ saved Christians from sin. Christians die to self and pick up their cross to folow Christ. Many people claim to be Christians but they act the same as everyone else in the world, except they might attend church meetings. In my opinion, these people are not really Christians. Christians will not be drunkards, fornicators, etc. Christians will have good works "Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only James 2:24" And Christians will have good fruit. "Love joy, peace.." Galatians 5:22-23

 

I believe that someone can be a Christian, and then backslide, and he better repent, or else.

 

I am enjoying this discussion, but someone should start a new thread. This one is getting off topic.

 

.

[SailorMom]

Everyone knows. This is true. That comment about her having a degree kind of annoyed me at first for that reason.

 

Still... she does have more access to resources for dealing with addiction. So from that standpoint, education and being a well-paid professional means she has means of dealing with this and chooses not to. And her dh is a doctor!

 

Still, I would not have said anything. There's nothing I can say she hasn't heard before...

 

 

Re-read the original post - it had nothing to do with education - more with my assuming plenty of exposure to non-smoking info. My point was more that she hadn't been under a rock for 30 years and I had proof because she had a job and some letters by her name :)

I only had a high school diploma for about 30 years of my life, and don't really think my degrees made me any smarter :) I am also a SAHM, and don't think haveing a high-level job means people are smarter either.

[DarlaS]

I'm sorry, I don't. My friend, who is a nurse in the maternity ward was telling me about these new studies. This was a number of years ago though and I thought there were public education campaigns about this issue. March of dimes says no amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy:

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/alcohol_indepth.html

 

Then it's not new research.

[DarlaS]

Re-read the original post - it had nothing to do with education - more with my assuming plenty of exposure to non-smoking info. My point was more that she hadn't been under a rock for 30 years and I had proof because she had a job and some letters by her name :)

I only had a high school diploma for about 30 years of my life, and don't really think my degrees made me any smarter :) I am also a SAHM, and don't think haveing a high-level job means people are smarter either.

 

I don't need to re-read. I said it annoyed me at first. Knee-jerk reaction (People have them--I wasn't actually taking offense.). Pretty sure I mentioned resources for dealing with addiction also. :)

[Roadrunner]

Why would you even assume the smoking woman wants some stranger’s support and encouragement? If she wants anybody’s support and encouragement she will seek it among her family and friends, not some stranger who doesn’t know how to mind her own business.

If you have approached her she may have been polite and smile in response and somehow get rid of you in a polite manner. I bet most likely she would tell you to go deal with your own problems while secretly wishing she could take that cigarette out on your face. :tongue_smilie:

So in short, no, you shouldn't have said anything. :001_smile:

[Caribbean Queen]

Yes sorry--missed a word. But we still don't agree. :)

 

I'd love to hear more on why you disagree. If you want to discuss it more start a new thread. I would enjoy posting on it.

 

Back to the original topic: If one were to say something to the pregnant lady it might make her feel guilty because she knows she is wrong to smoke while pregnant. Should she feel guilty? Might guilt motivate her to change? I would answer yes, but many think no.

 

In real life I probably wouldn't have said anything because I wouldn't want her to be mad at me. I don't like that about myself. Why should I care if she is mad at me? As I posted before, if I heard that baby was born with problems I would feel ashamed for not speaking up. Similar things have happened to me in real life and I felt bad for remaining silent.

[Mrs Mungo]

Thank you for all of your replies :)

I feel a bit better that most people would have refrained from saying something as well.....

It is hard, though.... I don't say anything to other adults who smoke - as long as they don't do it nearby (but that is just because I can't stand the smell!), but when a baby is involved.... ya know - where does that line fall?

 

I think if you wanted to say anything at all it would have to be along the lines of, "my sister is trying to quit smoking because she is wanting to get pregnant. Has anyone tried Chantix or those smokeless cigarettes? I was thinking of buying her the smokeless cigarettes, if they worked."

 

Lastly, many, many people slightly older than me were born in a time when smoking and drinking during pregnancy were acceptable... most of us are ok, I suppose....

 

Nobody in the US will ever say that light drinking is safe. Note, the March of Dimes says, "no amount of drinking has been proven to be safe," but light drinking has not been proven harmful either. Outside of the US most doctors (and some within the US) will encourage an ocassional beer or glass of wine. Drinking is not a sin, drunkeness is.

 

Not to the OP, but in general, you could not address a *complete stranger's* sin. Even when the Bible talks about accountability to one another that has to do with your church, your circle, your brethren. A nearly complete stranger does not fall into those circles.

[Janie Grace]

No, I would not have said anything. Not my place.

 

I had a neighbor (who had a master's degree, incidentally) who smoked throughout her pregnancy because she wanted a baby with a lower birth rate... easier to deliver. :confused: It made my blood boil, and it still does, to remember it. However, I didn't say anything. Maybe that makes me a coward. IDK. I just didn't feel like it was appropriate.

[kathymuggle]

I think anyone who smokes while pregnant or around their kids is very selfish. (This is coming from someone who stopped when I found out I was pregnant with my first and chose to never start again.) I would have, and have said something. No, I am not perfect, and if it was me doing something stupid, I would expect to be called on it as well.

 

IRL - I expect to be called on illegal or CPS worthy behaviour. That is it. I will also call others on it.

 

I do not expect to be called on any other parenting decision. At the end of the day, I am the mom, I get to decide what to do. I get to decide what to do even if you do not like it or agree. I do worry about the slippery slope in such things - if we comment on her cigarette smoking - what is next? Coffee drinking during pregnancy, colouring her hair, a diet of McDonalds and chips? We have to have a line somewhere, and mine for strangers is around the CPS worthy level.

 

I do think we can support and role model healthier choices, but I don't think we should impose our help on those who do not ask for it - particularly strangers.

[CAMom]

I think you mean that Christians are as susceptable to sin as anyone else. I disagree. Christ saved Christians from sin. Christians die to self and pick up their cross to folow Christ. Many people claim to be Christians but they act the same as everyone else in the world, except they might attend church meetings. In my opinion, these people are not really Christians. Christians will not be drunkards, fornicators, etc. Christians will have good works "Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only James 2:24" And Christians will have good fruit. "Love joy, peace.." Galatians 5:22-23

 

I believe that someone can be a Christian, and then backslide, and he better repent, or else.

 

 

So, am I understanding that you don't think that true Christians ever sin again?:confused:

[AimeeM]

*psst*

My last OB (not from the US) did tell me it was fine to have the occasional beer or wine. Lol.

I think if you wanted to say anything at all it would have to be along the lines of, "my sister is trying to quit smoking because she is wanting to get pregnant. Has anyone tried Chantix or those smokeless cigarettes? I was thinking of buying her the smokeless cigarettes, if they worked."

 

 

 

Nobody in the US will ever say that light drinking is safe. Note, the March of Dimes says, "no amount of drinking has been proven to be safe," but light drinking has not been proven harmful either. Outside of the US most doctors (and some within the US) will encourage an ocassional beer or glass of wine. Drinking is not a sin, drunkeness is.

 

Not to the OP, but in general, you could not address a *complete stranger's* sin. Even when the Bible talks about accountability to one another that has to do with your church, your circle, your brethren. A nearly complete stranger does not fall into those circles.

[Mrs Mungo]

*psst*

My last OB (not from the US) did tell me it was fine to have the occasional beer or wine. Lol.

 

I had two babies in Germany. :lol:

[AimeeM]

I *think* my OB was from India? Maybe? He said something about "safer than xanax". Lol.

Truthfully, I had to ask him to repeat everything several times :D

 

 

On a similar note, my husband's parents are/were Italian immigrants. Drinking occasionally is not a big deal at all. Even whilst preggo. No FAS problems in their (very large!) family.

I had two babies in Germany. :lol:

[kandty]

Well you said you wouldn't be "judgmental" and that you would offer "support" but you also said you thought it was your responsibility to tell someone else when they were sinning.:confused:

 

I would really, really be curious as to which passage you are referring to? I'm wondering what the context is.

 

No, I did not say I would tell them they were sinning. Please reread.

[CAMom]

No, I did not say I would tell them they were sinning. Please reread.

 

You didn't say you would walk up and say, "Hey, you're sinning." ;) But you did say that it's your responsibility to tell someone else when they are sinning.

 

I just think you need to find the reference and make sure in the context that that is really what it says. Do you have the reference? Sometimes we say, "Well, the Bible says...." when it doesn't really say that.:)

[kandty]

You didn't say you would walk up and say, "Hey, you're sinning." ;) But you did say that it's your responsibility to tell someone else when they are sinning.

 

I just think you need to find the reference and make sure in the context that that is really what it says. Do you have the reference? Sometimes we say, "Well, the Bible says...." when it doesn't really say that.:)

 

I definataly don't have the gall to go up to someone and say that! :lol: Nor would I have offered my support to a complete strangers off the street. I guess I misread the OP about they didn't know each other??

 

I looked for it last night and couldn't find it. At church this morning I was going to look for it, but we got new books today since is the first day of Advent and the new church year. I meant to ask for an old copy after church , but forgot. Hopefully I will remember next Sunday.

 

This message has really gotten out of hand and off topic! To the OP, sorry about this! I guess it really is a personal decision and I guess there s a lot of variables to consider.

[Mrs Mungo]

Verses on accountability:

http://www.openbible.info/topics/holding_each_other_accountable

 

But, they all deal with issues between brethren or within the church. They have nothing to do with informing near strangers or acquaintances of their sins.

[Lovedtodeath]

Threads often go off-topic.

I think you mean that Christians are as susceptable to sin as anyone else. I disagree. Christ saved Christians from sin. Christians die to self and pick up their cross to folow Christ. Many people claim to be Christians but they act the same as everyone else in the world, except they might attend church meetings. In my opinion, these people are not really Christians. Christians will not be drunkards, fornicators, etc. Christians will have good works "Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only James 2:24" And Christians will have good fruit. "Love joy, peace.." Galatians 5:22-23

 

I believe that someone can be a Christian, and then backslide, and he better repent, or else.

 

I am enjoying this discussion, but someone should start a new thread. This one is getting off topic.

 

.

 

So, am I understanding that you don't think that true Christians ever sin again?:confused:

This like all else, is about balance.

 

1 John 3:9 – Everyone who has been born from God does not carry on sin, because His seed remains in such one, and he cannot practice sin, because he has been born from God.

 

Hebrews 10: 26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Titus 3:3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,

 

1 John2:1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

 

 

Edited November 27, 2011 by Lovedtodeath

[Lovedtodeath]

Verses on accountability:

http://www.openbible.info/topics/holding_each_other_accountable

 

But, they all deal with issues between brethren or within the church. They have nothing to do with informing near strangers or acquaintances of their sins.

Thanks!