wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Warning :rant: We signed ds up for 4H, and I told the leader that he has HFA, Tourettes and sensory issues (nothing else would matter in 4H, but incase they saw something I wanted them to be aware) and the lady stopped what she was doing, looked at me and said "well sit with him in the back incase he gets violent like tourettes people often do- that way you can be there to handle behaviors" :blink: :banghead: My ds is the most sensitive kid I know. He cried over just about everything. I could never even imagine him being rude let alone violent :cursing: Do people seriously not think before they talk?? Or do they just not care :rant: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I'm sorry. People really should think before they speak. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 :grouphug: Wow, I wouldn't even know what to say in a situation like that! One would think a person in her position would know better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 :grouphug: Wow, I wouldn't even know what to say in a situation like that! One would think a person in her position would know better. I was dumbfounded for quite a while. I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her trying to collect my thoughts and not put my foot in my mouth with my reply (meaning I was trying to not say what I wanted to say but thinking of something good to say). There was an awkward silence for a while though as I was trying to gather my thoughts. I just told her about him. There is nothing to worry about. I explained tourettes is a tic disorder (I hate the word disorder, but I used it :glare:) that he exaggerates sounds and will pump his arm or shake his head. He will make sniffing noises that are exaggerated when he is not sniffing anything. That is it. And he does not cuss-- another misconception :glare: I told her how sensitive he is and that he cries, alot. He is very gentle and kind and VERY helpful. Want to hear what I WANTED to say?? :glare: :glare: :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 The times I've felt it necessary to tell people that my son is on the spectrum---the looks I've gotten. What the heck are people so afraid of? I feel your pain. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I'm sorry you had to deal with that... Sounds like you handled it extremely well though! :) There really are a lot of misconceptions out there. I hope your son has a positive 4H experience despite the rocky start - perhaps the people he meets there will even learn something by getting to know him, so the next mom of a child with special needs doesn't have to deal with the same level of ignorance... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shay Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 You know, it sounds as if she has no knowledgeof HGA and Tourettes and just reacted(poorly!). Why not say, "thank you for letting me know. Can you give me any tips or is there anything you want me to be aware of? How can we make this great for him?". In that way, she could have asked, politely, for info(because she didn't know), would have learned something, and would have had a happy mom and kid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Wow, I can't believe she said that!! How rude of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Warning :rant: We signed ds up for 4H, and I told the leader that he has HFA, Tourettes and sensory issues (nothing else would matter in 4H, but incase they saw something I wanted them to be aware) and the lady stopped what she was doing, looked at me and said "well sit with him in the back incase he gets violent like tourettes people often do- that way you can be there to handle behaviors" :blink: My ds is the most sensitive kid I know. He cried over just about everything. I could never even imagine him being rude let alone violent :cursing: Do people seriously not think before they talk?? Or do they just not care :rant: :grouphug: I'm sorry. It comes w/the territory. I am sick of people thinking that Aspies are nothing more than quirky geniuses and they know so many people that have diagnosed themselves w/it. I am sick of listening to people talk about how many professionals they know that are HFA and are very successful. Really?? How many successful professionals are going in and having the appropriate tests run to diagnose them w/Aspergers. The diagnosis didn't even exist in the US when our ds was really little. He is only 19. It wasn't even on the radar in this country until 94. All of the young adult Aspies that we have been around are the anti-thesis of highly successful. They are all struggling and struggling a lot. I am sick of the "I read a book and diagnosed myself or so and so" and that all Aspies need to do is find their niche and they will be extremely successful in their career just like Temple G. :rant: (ummmmmm................:blush: I'm sorry. I think I ranted over your very deserving rant. I am just in a btdt too many times mood tonight. :tongue_smilie: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :iagree: Yep. I can't stand it when people self diagnose themselves with something that is a bit devastating for parents. As if being Aspie is the newest trend. Or when people diagnose their kids as such and such when in reality they're no such thing and anyone can see that. I want to tell people it's not necessarily a club you need to be jumping to get into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 :grouphug: I feel your frustration. You did an amazing job of not throttling her :) As the Mom of an eXtraspecial kiddo, I get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Shortly after my ds was diagnosed with Tourettes, there was a documentary on tv. Maybe it was one of those 20/20 news programs at night. The program was on Tourettes so I watched it with interest. It focused so much on uncontrollable vocal ticks. I think it was about kids who could go to a camp and just be themselves and not worry about ticking because there were so many other kids there ticking too. Anyway, I can see if someone watched that program they would think that all Tourettes kids would be like that. Their focus was so narrow and extreme - vs. the spectrum that it can be. Unfortunately, we have to educate those who don't have to live with it. You did a great job holding your tongue and describing your wonderful son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I don't think she was being intentionally rude, honestly. It sounds like the only experience she has had with this is one other person or seeing someone on TV. Probably that person DID act like she expected your son to act. She probably has never had a child with issues like your child's in 4H before. It sounds like a great opportunity to educate her about your child. I'm sure it was upsetting, but I would cut her a little slack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmama Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Egads. People need to silence their thoughts better. Sorry you had to deal with that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nature Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 So sorry you had to experience that. I’ve had many similar situations with my ds. The public is not educated enough about special needs. I just wish they would ask about our particular child instead of jumping to incorrect conclusions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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