twoforjoy Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 If you had a surprise pregnancy, especially if you were being careful at the time, were you really nervous about becoming intimate again after you gave birth? Right now I haven't gotten my Mirena in (my uterus wasn't quite ready when I went in for my pp appointment), and DH isn't sure he wants a vasectomy (I feel like we could have one more child, but I told DH that if he's 100% sure I'll support him). So we're relying on barrier methods. Or, would be, if I wasn't so afraid of getting pregnant again that I won't even take the chance. Am I just being rationally cautious, given that we did get pregnant when DD was an infant and, while I'd be open to another baby in a couple of years, I am *not* even anywhere near the outskirts of the universe of ready-for-another-baby land? Or am I being overly paranoid? I'm just concerned that even once more effective measures are in place, I'll still have this lingering fear and won't want to or enjoy being intimate, at least for a long while. We'd been fortunate enough to never get pregnant when we didn't want to before this (and that was over the course of 15 years), so I never really had a fear of unplanned pregnancy until now. Did other people have this concern, and did you get over it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 :grouphug:BTDT, had the babies. :tongue_smilie: for us, it was an issue all along until dh took steps.;) it has been a whole new world for us:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You are being cautious, not paranoid. Paranoia is fear without good cause. You have good cause to fear pregnancy. I felt the same until dh had the V when youngest dd was 3 months old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 No, I think it is very natural and realistic to be concerned, not paranoid. Our baby #3 is a surprise although we were planning to have another later. Has enough time gone by that the iud would be an option now? We have known for years that there were 3 children for us and I have had hg all three times so DH is getting a vasectomy. I could try a copper iud, but a vasectomy is the most effective option for us. And I have to say that I will feel more comfortable with intimacy not worrying so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Oh, I've B.T.D.T.!!!! We wanted four or five children, but not three babies in three years. I had some bloodclotting problems, major anemia, with child number 2 and we were told to wait awhile. Despite charting and barrier methods, I ended up with baby number 3 right away. That pregnancy was MEGA dicey, but we still didn't seem ready to do anything permanent. So, we used charting (I ovulate all over the map - NOT predictable) and two methods and STILL ended up pregnant with number 4. I was told I would not survive the pregnancy! I'm still here, but dh did not make it past my six week post-natal check before it was a done deal because I let him know that he would not be allowed to brush up against me in the kitchen! :D Just a little too afraid that fertile myrtle would strike again. I don't blame you at all. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Yup, my hubby is the nervous one though. It took a while for libido to return to normal after the baby, because of fear of another pregnancy. But even now, and before we had her, we always use 2 methods at least...either birth control and withdrawal, or birth control pills and condom, or condom and withdrawal, or, right now, when we are not that cautious compared to before, fertility awareness and condoms. We avoid intercourse completely when I am fertile, and when I'm not fertile he still usually withdraws, just in case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Our surprise is due in 10 days. DH is taking one for the team to make sure she's our last surprise. :) I'd be very nervous otherwise...heck I'm thinking we need another method of BC in addition to the V. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 How long until you are ready for the Mirena? Once that is in place it sounds like you will relax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Wolf's been warned that either he gets a V or he'll be self brewing instant TeA for the rest of his life. He's weighing his options :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 BTDT. We don't resume relations until after I have at least one full cycle after each baby. #3 and #4 were too close together and they traumatized us. #4 was a deployment baby. Then our surprise #5 completely blew us away. We are still committed to no artificial birth control, but for us that means very limited relations. At least we are in agreement on the status quo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Wolf's been warned that either he gets a V or he'll be self brewing instant TeA for the rest of his life. He's weighing his options :001_huh: :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 :grouphug:BTDT, had the babies. :tongue_smilie: for us, it was an issue all along until dh took steps.;) it has been a whole new world for us:D :iagree::iagree: So true. A WHOLE NEW WORLD. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 heck I'm thinking we need another method of BC in addition to the V. :) I'll admit that a V, iud and condoms doesn't sound like overkill to me anymore. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I'll admit that a V, iud and condoms doesn't sound like overkill to me anymore. :tongue_smilie: My dh got what I like to call "the triple threat V", which included snipping off a section of the vas deferens, burning the ends of the remaining tubes and applying tiny, permanent clamps to the ends. The doc told us that it is like taking birth control pills and using an IUD and condoms. That is what we were looking for.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 My dh got what I like to call "the triple threat V", which included snipping off a section of the vas deferens, burning the ends of the remaining tubes and applying tiny, permanent clamps to the ends. The doc told us that it is like taking birth control pills and using an IUD and condoms. That is what we were looking for.;) That sounds perfect! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 That sounds perfect! :D Over five years post V, no more babies.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 There's a reason my name's KidsHappen. Only two of the six were planned. Of the other four, on was conceived on BCP, one using NFP, sponge and withdrawl, one NFP and diaphram and spermacide and one NFP and condoms and spermacide. Finally, I put my foot down and said there would be no more teA until a V. And then I still worried for years because he never got an all clear. It had been 12 years and I am menopausal now so I have quit worrying which is good because I have found my interest increasing dramatically (to the point of irritation) as I go through the change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 My dh got what I like to call "the triple threat V", which included snipping off a section of the vas deferens, burning the ends of the remaining tubes and applying tiny, permanent clamps to the ends. The doc told us that it is like taking birth control pills and using an IUD and condoms. That is what we were looking for.;) Dh asked for that procedure. I nearly died after the third child and the 4th was a pure "act of God" because honestly, according to the charting/taking temperature/physical signs etc. I was not ovulating, and we were using two methods of b.c. on top of that! The 4th made it though at 28 weeks they weren't certain I was going to make it through, but dh was FREAKED! We used bc. for two years after his triple v. and now that I'm perimenopausal and my cycle runs anywhere from 26-35 days, he begins getting nervous at day 27 and I'm taking hom pregnancy tests on day 30 through 35 just to keep him from losing his mind. It's been 11 years. You'd think he would be okay by now, but I think he was pretty traumatized at the thought of a. losing me or b. having three children three years 3 months and younger and no wife. Maybe it was a combo of fears. If I'm like my mom, I still ave 10 years of this before finally being done. Good grief! I should have taken out stock in whatever companies produce home pregnancy tests so I could recoup some of my monetary losses. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 No, it's normal to worry. After Pigby (and a completely miserable pregnancy) I was extremely paranoid. NFP and barrier and spermicide. After Digby, well I'm not exactly sure what happened. I don't remember when Chuck was conceived at all. Digby and Chuck are 20 months apart (not terrible, but still stressful considering he was still nursing while I was pregnant and still not sleeping through the night. Then he went through his climbing phase right before I had her. Oy!) After she was born, I had to scour the globe to find an OB taking new patients. When I did, he talked me out of the tubal and into the Mirena. Yeah, I was 6 weeks postpartum when I got it and the midwife and given us permission to resume intimacy, but I told him no way was I going to risk it. It makes it much easier to enjoy intimacy, but I do still worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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