Is this reasonable?

[Trish]

It is reasonable to say something like this to the relative who is kindly offering her house to stay in: "I'm really scared and I'm not feeling right, and I need to check it out for my mental health. I don't think it is a fault of yours that I fell, it is certainly not. I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble by not watching my step. I can't afford the CT. Is there a way we can work it out?" And offer a repayment plan.

 

Well, she just banged her head really hard and was bleeding. Maybe the social niceties escaped her, and she was worried about going to the emergency room herself, and how she was going to pay for it. Repayment plans aren't the first thing on my mind when I'm bleeding, but an emergency room visit might be.

 

I'm not saying it's the OP's fault, just that the poor woman didn't intend to trip and someone has to pay, whether it be she, the OP or one or both insurances.

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm really surprised to hear this. Did your agent mention anything to your DH about your coverage for medical expenses? This is a basic part of most homeowner's policies. Do you have a copy of your policy?

 

Only when there is negligence. It is a step, it isn't a hole in the porch. Plus, they warned her, which also makes a difference. They did not show negligence.

Here's a link. Scroll down to medical payments insurance.

 

It doesn't matter if she is covered by a gov't insurance plan because they will go after the OP for the costs. There is a legal term for it, but gov't medical plans are required by law to try and get someone else to pay the costs if the charges were incurred due to an accident.

 

It is true that the insurance company might file a claim, but then the insurance companies will duke it out.

[NanceXToo]

Not reasonable, and I'd cut off ties with a woman like that. She wouldn't be coming to my house ever again, that's for sure.

[2cents]

I would not offer to pay. You warned her. In view of the insurance questions she asked earlier, it is suspicious. If you offer, you are indicating/accepting a liability. Let insurance deal with her.

[annandatje]

At first I thought the aunt was going overboard by visiting ER. Just got word that my daughter's boyfriend's grandfather fell last night and bled to death internally, never realizing he had a serious injury.

[Swirl]

Only when there is negligence. It is a step, it isn't a hole in the porch. Plus, they warned her, which also makes a difference. They did not show negligence.

 

No, I don't think this is right. We are talking about two entirely different things here. I am not referring to her Personal Liability Coverage. (Yes, she would have to be negligent for this to pay.) I'm talking abount an entirely different coverage on her policy that will have a seperate limit.

 

It is called medical payments coverage. It is a basic part of most homeowners's policies. The limit is not usually very high- $1000-$5000 most of the time.

 

If she has this coverage on her policy (which I bet she does), it will pay for her aunt's medical expenses up to the policy limit. Negligence is not a factor in this coverage.

Edited September 16, 2011 by Swirl

[Joker]

Honestly, I'd pay. If my older aunt (who already has health issues) fell in my home and hit her head that hard I would offer to help/pay but I would have also insisted she get checked at the ER. Maybe she waited until she left because you're a nurse and told her she was fine but once she was away from you she worried again. Maybe she felt it would be insulting to you to go to the ER after you told her she was fine. I'm actually surprised, since you're a nurse, you didn't insist she get a head injury checked. Most older people, especially those who already have health issues, worry a lot. (At least in my experience they do.) I would do my best to help and then be more careful about her being in my home again.

[Penny_P]

Thank you for all of the responses. We DID offer several times to take her to the ER after she fell. She declined. She was fully able to make the decision as she wasn't confused and we certainly couldn't force her.

 

The situation would be really different if she had said something to the effect of, "Geez, I'm such a clutz. I didn't mean to fall and I'm going to have trouble paying the bills. Could you guys maybe help out some?" Instead she was demanding that we pay for anything that her insurance doesn't cover. She was thinking that it may come to less than $200. But, after reading these posts, I'm wondering if her insurance will fight paying anything if she reported it as an accident to the ER.

[JulieH]

I don't know about others, but when we go to the ER and have to have an xray or imaging, we often get a letter from our insurance company asking us if there was an injury that prompted the xray and to name other insurances they can go after. It's not in those words exactly, but that's the nature of the letter. We have an amazing PPO plan that is very easy to work with, and even they want to make sure they don't have to pay if someone else can.

[Lisa R.]

I don't know anything about the legalities regarding this. All I can say is that you were generous and extended hospitality toward someone who needed it. You were careful when she was in your home and warned her about the step. I'm sorry you're getting this grief when you were trying to do the right thing. So, no advice for this--just my sympathy.

 

Now, the only other advice I would give is that I don't think you should discuss this *at all* with other relatives. That's where things could go downhill quickly. Yes, you have a right to vent. But I wouldn't vent to anyone that knows her or knows someone who knows her. It could turn a currently highly-irritating situation into a large family drama. People can spin stories in all sorts of ways, and I wouldn't want you to get caught up in that.

 

(I'm not suggesting you're spreading the story amongst your relatives, but I did just want to bring this up. :))

[DianeW88]

I absolutely wouldn't give her any money because it could look like an admission of guilt if she decides to sue you.

 

I also would never allow her into my home again.

 

At this point I think I would tell her that if she is adamant about my paying her bills she will need to forward me copies of any unpaid medical bills so that I could forward them on to my insurance company. I doubt in the situation she is in that her medical costs are not covered under a government insurance plan.

 

:iagree: And I would never let her in my home again. Period.

[livingnlearning]

I am strictly of the opinion that you fall down, you pay for it.

 

She's scamming you.

[elfgivas]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

i'm sorry. one aspect of bipolar is manipulation. its hard to know where this all falls on the spectrum, but i would disengage as much as possible. most of the replies you've had would make sense for someone who was functioning well. she isn't.

 

future: "no, i'm sorry we won't be able to have you the next time". "why?" "we have other commitments" (and you do.... to your own mental, emotional and financial health)

 

present: "oh i'm so glad you went to emergency. i wish you'd let us take you when we asked you. its good news that the cat scan was negative."

 

end. if she asks about payment, you can say you called the insurance company and they told you you shouldn't pay and that they won't, either. beyond that, i wouldn't explain, because that reengages her. and i wouldn't volunteer it; i would wait until she asks again. which she may or may not do.

 

eta: another approach which may be helpful would be for you to say "oh dh called the insurance company but i didn't follow all of it. is uncle fred available? let's let the men sort it out." not that you couldn't, but she can't, and it gives a neutral way of being able to talk with your uncle about it. he may be moderating things at his end as best he can.....

 

fwiw,

ann

Edited September 16, 2011 by elfgivas@yahoo.com