giftof6 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 ...because I can't. I just get so irritated I have to walk away. DAILY a conversation/argument in our house goes like this: DS: Give mom's pillow back. She wants it. DD: (with a hint of snotty) Well you could ask me nicely, you know. DS: (more demanding) Give mom's pillow back, she wants it! DD: No! Not until you ask me nicely! DS: MOM WANTS IT, GIVE IT BACK! M...O...M!!!!!! She won't give it to me! DD: He never asked me nicely! DS: (irritated, whiny and hollering across the hallway) Mom, will you tell her to give me the pillow?! DD: (also hollering) Mom, will you tell him to ask me nicely?! DS: Fine. I'm going to bed. DD: (in her best tattle-tale voice) He wouldn't even ask me nicely! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: AM I RIGHT?! I mean, I could barely even type it without losing my mind! Bless those of you who actually read it all and didn't just skip to the end! This same kindof scenario happens over and over between different combinations of children. And it just makes me so insane I just usually look at them like they are stupid and walk away. We have big issue right now with selfishness, accountablitity and responsibility. :glare: :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdwinglips Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 No advice, but know that you are NOT alone. sigh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Oooh, the ask me nicely argument! Oh yes, we have that little fight at our house too. I can sympathize. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giftof6 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 That does help. Doesn't make me any more sane, but it does help. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giftof6 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 That does help. Doesn't make me any more sane, but it does help. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 YES! UGH! SOOO ANNOYING! There I feel better know. The ridiculous bickering was bad enough with just the twins, now that we are a blended family it is horrible. I wish I knew how to handle this in a way that worked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I'm sorry - I'm confused. Did you want your pillow? Why didn't you just ask for it directly? And if you didn't want it, why didn't you just say "I don't want it" and stop the argument at the start? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giftof6 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Almost every night when I go to bed, there is no pillow. It's just gone! Some little person absconds with it during the day. Tonight, I was tending to the 3yo who had surgery today, looked over and noticed my pillow was gone and hollered a general "Who took my pillow this time?!" The pillow hunt began, DS found it, the rest you know. But that's only one example. This kind of ridiculousness happens repeatedly and it isn't always a matter of me simply saying, "Give me my pillow." And I don't want to have to say anything. I want them to be able to resolve it themselves. Clearly, I don't know how to make that happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I get it. Doesn't matter if it is a pillow, a toy, a game, a fuzz ball, a piece of dirt. It just.doesn't.matter. Ugh. All three of mine, yes, even DS13. Every day. I haven't learned to walk away yet. I guess I need to. But I'm the mean mommy. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Earplugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giftof6 Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 YES! Earplugs, sleeping mask, a white noise machine and special beverage.... Yes, the picture looks much better now. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I generally say "Sort this out now, or go to your rooms - 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... ROOMS!" But I'm not a very tolerant person! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Freak out on all of them in order to help them unite against a common enemy (you)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :grouphug: To their credit, they seem to disengage pretty quickly. Mine would be at it for longer, and escalate, instead of disengaging. I vented to DH about it just today, and he said, "Well, it's the age." I hope he's right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Your definitely not alone in this. It's kids and like I heard someone say once, "Kids, their a life sentence.":lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 No intelligence here - I just send them away from me when they get annoying. Oddly enough, I think they hold these stupidity contests for my benefit, as the bickering stops when they no longer have an audience. Maybe lock yourself in the bathroom. Or lock them in the bathroom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 ...because I can't. I just get so irritated I have to walk away. First of all, big hugs to you. Where do children learn these universal sarcasm and inflections of voice?? In any event, here is what I would do. Hard as it is, I wouldn't walk away. I would address is head on every single time. Purposely lower your voice, purposely soften your nerves and just say, "Your voices don't sound nice. Your words don't sound nice. Come and sit by me for xx minutes." The *come sit by me* breaks the tension, gives them attention without a whole lotta time investment from you. They are watching you cook or teach a little one to read, separated from each other and the moment has been diffused. Dealing with it every time (yes; stopping what you're doing and going over to the little offenders) may take care of most of the problem. Secondly, and very importantly, I usually have to take inventory of my own speech patterns when I see a frequent misbehavior problem in my kids. Am I being sarcastic? Am I provoking or responding badly when provoked? Does my voice inflection betray irritation? HTH, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friederike in Persia Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 How about a general rule that only you're allowed to tell off for the tone used? That helped a bit in our house, but quite often I can still associate with your :banghead: One day they might get that it's their dad and I who are the ones responsible for raising them. My guess is that it'll be time for them to move out by then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Freak out on all of them in order to help them unite against a common enemy (you)? Seriously, mine have all learned not to get too loud with stupid stuff or they will incur the 'Wrath of Mom'. Meaning they both get punished for being annoying. I'd give them the crazy eyes and the dragon voice too. My mom could make steam come out of her ears, but I'm not that good yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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