Tips on schooling two w/ DH working nights?

[TreasuresFromHeaven]

I have a 6 yo in Y1 and a 4 yo that just started K. The youngest will do K for 1 1/2 years so that he can start Y1 when oldest starts Y3. Oldest does mix SCM/AO and youngest does My Fathers World. I am trying to have them do math and handwriting at the same time but am really struggling with the rest.

 

Youngest needs more hands on but oldest needs me for lots of reading. Oldest reads far above his age and I could give him more reading on his own but I have noticed (even after repeated discussions on the subject) he does not read every sentence, paragraph and page. He will skim but he will read it so many times (like library books) that he will tell me the story and I would have no idea how he skips around unless I actually watched his eyes.

 

There are still chores to do. My husband leaves for work at 3:30pm and gets home about 4am. So he sleeps until about 11am. The children and I get up, eat breakfast, some chores and start on school. But it seems I am always trying to hurry them along with chores so we can start school. Then DH gets up about 11-11:30 which breaks up our day. We then try and each lunch as a family. There are naps/quiet times in the afternoon and spending time with DH before he goes to work.

 

I feel like I don't have time to clean, cook or do much of anything. I also don't want to be homeschooling all day.

 

I would greatly appreciate any tips or suggestion on how to handle a situation like this.

 

Many thanks,

 

Jessica

[lmrich]

Just a quick idea. Could you try the chores in the evening after dinner, before bed and then wake up to most things done? Could you get dh to help at nap/quiet time by reading to one of the children while you finish up school with the older? As they grow, you have to change your schedule; it can be so challenging.

[matilda]

Make it your goal to have all of your schooling done by 11, when DH wakes up. It may seem counter-intuitive, but I find that it is more efficient to work with my pre-K and 1st separately. It is certainly less stressful. So except for read alouds, they each get my undivided attention for a while. I also have to be awake and ready for the day before any of my kids get up. That helps us stay on track during the morning.

[TC5]

I wish I could help, but mostly I'm just agreeing that it's hard. My husband doesn't work nights exclusively. He works days, nights, travels the world, and works from home when he's in town. This is why we school year-round and make very few plans for school breaks. We take breaks when my husband interrupts us. It is very disruptive, but I keep reminding myself of what a blessing it is to have my husband with us. We're currently on a 3-month business trip with him, but he left this morning for another shorter business trip somewhere else. We always get more schoolwork done while he's gone. We try to work around his schedule, but it changes constantly. I've had a struggle this year with getting him to talk to me before making plans with our boys to take them out for a bike ride, etc., mid-morning, which is our prime school time. He's getting better, but it definitely requires communication!

 

I'm not familiar with the curriculum choices you mentioned, but K and 1st grade don't need to take more than a couple of hours together. Maybe you could push the chores to after lunch or even after your husband leaves, so you could start school by 9 a.m. Could you fit in some of your chores before your husband leaves? Time cleaning together is still time together. :) To avoid homeschooling all day, maybe you could set aside 1-2 blocks of time for schoolwork. They don't have to be concurrent. You could do an hour or so in the morning (math, language arts) and an hour or two in the afternoon (crafts, projects, science, history).

 

What is the biggest struggle? fitting in the schooling? the children's chores? your own chores? Is this because you feel you can't do any of these things while your husband is home and awake (11-3:30)? I think most of us do chores and perhaps schooling while our husbands are around. I'd probably use the children's quiet time for chores at least some of the time.

[RootAnn]

There are still chores to do. My husband leaves for work at 3:30pm and gets home about 4am. So he sleeps until about 11am. The children and I get up, eat breakfast, some chores and start on school. But it seems I am always trying to hurry them along with chores so we can start school. Then DH gets up about 11-11:30 which breaks up our day. We then try and each lunch as a family. There are naps/quiet times in the afternoon and spending time with DH before he goes to work.

 

 

Let's go totally crazy here:

So, could you get up, eat breakfast, leave the dishes in the sink & the chores unfinished (and even stay in PJs if necessary) in order to get some "school" done in the morning (stuff like math & reading that you really want to get done while the kids are fresh)? Then, when DH gets up, have him help get the kids ready & supervise their chores (quality time with Dad, YEAH!) while you take a shower, make lunch for you & the kids, and eat (with Dad telling the kids about his night at work or the kids talking about what they learned in math already that morning). After your lunch is done, you clean up from breakfast & lunch while Dad takes the kids for a walk, listens to them read aloud (as appropriate), or reads some interesting book to them all.

 

You put the youngest down for a nap, the 4 yr old plays quietly with some toys, the 6 yr old does whatever he can independently while you spend some quality non-child-interrupting time with DH.

 

DH leaves for work and you finish up "school" with your older two, make supper, and everyone helps tidy up the main rooms before bed.

 

It spreads "school" out into two distinct time periods - so it seems like you are "schooling" all day, but you get your cleaning/break/DH time in the middle.

 

My DH works a rotating schedule. Sometimes he's on nights, sometimes he's on days, and some days he has off during the normal "school week." We have to be pretty flexible around here. Don't be afraid to try something different for a week to see how it goes. Good luck!

[Amanda_Jo]

I find it easiest in our house to do school before DH wakes up and then do chores in the late afternoon/evening.

If we don't do school first thing I find that it doesn't get done.

We do the bare minimum to get school started in the morning- we eat, pile our dishes by the sink and brush our teeth only before starting school. We school from about 9am to 11:30am. Then I fix lunch while the kids straighten the school/kitchen table. I clean up breakfast and lunch dishes all at once after lunch time.

A few days a week we have a science experiment, activity or art to do in the afternoon--but that doesn't feel like more school because it's so much fun.

Edited August 30, 2011 by Amanda_Jo

[EmilyGF]

We do *really* minimal chores before school. (Make bed, brush teeth, put away jammies.) The kids get themselves dressed on their own before breakfast. Mine (6, 4, and 2) pick out their own clothes because it doesn't matter to me if the 2-year-old's clothes clash as long as she is dressed in clean clothes.

 

If dishes look like they'll take a while, or everyone else is ready, I just put the dishes in a sink of soapy water and let the water work for me.

 

Maybe your expectations are too high. I started phonics with my 4-year-old and it was hard. We worked for about 3 weeks and I decided that her time could be better spend drawing and playing. We'll start again in three months and see if it is easier. We do math everyday - for about 10 minutes! We play games and do half a RightStart B lesson.

 

I do about 1.5 hours of 1-on-1 school with ds 6. Otherwise, we read a ton and play.

 

Today, a friend was over, and said, "Wow, your kids are really smart" after ds explained to her some concept she was surprised he knew. It isn't because of a curriculum at this age - it is because we talk all the time about everything.

 

Emily

[EmilyGF]

Oooh - handwriting. Give it a break with the 4-year-old and start again when 4yo is 5. It'll be *so* much easier. Let 4yo play and draw until 5.

 

Emily

[NanceXToo]

If it were me, I would get up, do breakfast and make sure kitchen table was clean, (if that's where you work), then sit down and do 1st grade with your 6 y/o, aiming to finish it in two hours tops and done well before your husband wakes up.

 

I would then work with the 4 y/o for 1 hour tops (but I personally wouldn't do a formal academic K with a four y/o to begin with, in your case you might want to consider what someone else said and drop handwriting for example with a 4 y/o!). With the goal being that by the time your husband is up and about, you're pretty much done with school.

 

I would then do the bare necessity of what chores need to be done right then and there by you while the kids have a play break- maybe you need to start laundry (if so start that just before breakfast, actually), dishes, etc. I'd wait til later on the other stuff most of the time.

 

Enjoy time with dad, do "fun" stuff, and do the rest of your chores while the kids nap and have quiet time, or after your husband leaves, or after dinner.

 

If your son is a good reader and far ahead and likes to read and he's doing well enough reading to you and comprehending what's going on, I wouldn't start studying his eyes and worrying about his reading, it sounds like he's doing fine in that regard. Many kids don't even begin to learn to read til they are his age.

 

Bottom line, they are only 6 and 4, and if you feel like you have to worry about "homeschooling all day" or not having time "to clean, cook or do much of anything," I'd re-evaluate how much schoolwork you are doing with them, because it may just be too much.

[TreasuresFromHeaven]

Thank you for all the responses. Just to clarify something, we do work at the table and one of the chores that they take their time at is cleaning and clearing the table so we can work. I think I just need to take that job back myself. I usually have them unload the dishwasher in the morning but probably need to move that to the afternoon.

 

My 4 yo will be 5 in November and we are taking 1 1/2 to do K so we only school on M, W, F. I think it is so overwhelming because we have only been doing this for a few days. My 4 yo handwriting is learning how to form a letter whether with paper and pencil or a finger in rice or a ziplock bag with colored cornstarch. I probably should not have said handwriting.

 

I think the overwhelming feeling makes things seem much bigger than they really are. After reading the responses, I realize I exaggerated with schooling all day. It just feel like it rather than actually doing it.

 

Because we follow a Charlotte Mason approach so much of the curriculum is reading rather than independent work. So I am needed for much of the reading. We keep each subject only 15 minutes long. So math is only 15 minutes, bible/ history is combined at about 20 minutes and different reading that takes 10-15 minutes.

 

I will definitely have to try more chores in the afternoon and try to get most of the schooling done in the morning.

 

Thank you so much for all the helpful input.

[annlaura]

My DH's schedule is a bit different than your DH's, and I don't have a 6yo. But I do have a 4yo who will be 5 in Nov. We are having contests for the world record in dawdling lately. So I've started setting a timer for certain tasks. I also try to get some household tasks done after the boys go to bed. I think pp have had some great advice. Good luck.

[mama27]

I have a 6 yo in Y1 and a 4 yo that just started K. The youngest will do K for 1 1/2 years so that he can start Y1 when oldest starts Y3. Oldest does mix SCM/AO and youngest does My Fathers World. I am trying to have them do math and handwriting at the same time but am really struggling with the rest.

 

Youngest needs more hands on but oldest needs me for lots of reading. Oldest reads far above his age and I could give him more reading on his own but I have noticed (even after repeated discussions on the subject) he does not read every sentence, paragraph and page. He will skim but he will read it so many times (like library books) that he will tell me the story and I would have no idea how he skips around unless I actually watched his eyes.

 

There are still chores to do. My husband leaves for work at 3:30pm and gets home about 4am. So he sleeps until about 11am. The children and I get up, eat breakfast, some chores and start on school. But it seems I am always trying to hurry them along with chores so we can start school. Then DH gets up about 11-11:30 which breaks up our day. We then try and each lunch as a family. There are naps/quiet times in the afternoon and spending time with DH before he goes to work.

 

I feel like I don't have time to clean, cook or do much of anything. I also don't want to be homeschooling all day.

 

I would greatly appreciate any tips or suggestion on how to handle a situation like this.

 

Many thanks,

 

Jessica

 

My dh does the same thing, gets up late and comes home late. To us it makes sense to put everybody on his schedule of going to bed late, like after 11. That way the kids don't get up till 9 or 10, and we start school after lunch.

[foxbridgeacademy]

My DH has worked all 3 shifts at one time or another. This included 12 hour and rotating days. I tried doing school prior to him getting up, it never worked because I can not function in any kind of a mess. So I would clean in the mornings while the kids did things independantly, usually on computer. Then after DH went to work we would get down to the teacher involved stuff. At that young of an age they don't need to spend more then 2 hours schooling, not counting time on computer or independant reading.

[Christie_P]

I so feel your pain! My husband's schedule is different every day and every week. Sometimes 6a-4p, sometimes 10a-8p, sometimes 3p-1a or 4p-2a. Most weeks he works Saturday and Sunday, so his two off days are during the week. Even if he is off, he sleeps at least until 10 or 11 am. I get up at 5, walk, shower, dress, do basic chores (load of laundry, unload dishwasher) then the kids get up at 7 am. Dress, make beds, hair - breakfast at 8 am - brush teeth, clean table and school at 9 am (mostly 9:30 am). School til lunch, but still we're pushing it to get it done before lunch, so maybe lunch is at 1 pm - or else we have a subject or two after lunch. (Oldest is 6 and this is our first year of 1st grade. New subjects this year include SOTW, Cursive First and Spell to Write and Read) My main headache is what to do with almost 3yo who doesn't take a morning nap and refuses to stay in the playroom (gotta remember to put that gate up!)

 

Was just brainstorming that we could do subjects that the 3yo likes (Bible, History and Cursive) before lunch mainly because there are coloring pages in Bible and History that she can color, or the hands on manipulatives for Cursive (wall clock, salt box, tracing raised letters) and then try to save Math and Spelling for after lunch when 3yo is "supposed" to be napping and not distracting me and my 6yo!

 

Anyway - it's always a challenge to try to find what works and when you do find it, it'll change in 1-2 months! But my DD has helped! She wants to visit a friend tomorrow and I was wondering out loud how to get our school in. "Mom - you know how I sometimes get up with you early and go walking? What if we do school then (5 am) before breakfast then we can visit our friends?" Well - it is my rest day from walking - so if she's game... why not? ;-)

[pahansen]

...if you feel like you have to worry about "homeschooling all day" or not having time "to clean, cook or do much of anything," I'd re-evaluate how much schoolwork you are doing with them, because it may just be too much.

 

I suspect that the problem of feeling like you're "homeschooling all day" may stem from the ages in question, not the volume of schoolwork (although you may want to reevaluate that as others have suggested). The 2/4/6 year was very stressful to me, in a way that this year (infant/4/6/8) won't even measure up to. The problem is that you could not homeschool with this age group, and you'd still have a full day. In retrospect, I can't remember how I survived from my 4yo's birth to age three. It's full-on, constant parenting. If it helps, the end is in sight -- when the youngest is three, things will get much easier because (s)he will want to "do school" too. That means you have a "Teacher's Helper" (mine had her own tag at the beginning of the school year) sitting along with the middle child and sometimes getting a copy of what you're doing. Age three also means that the child is capable of going off and playing alone in a self-entertaining way, rather than in an, "Oh no -- what is she into?" kind of way. So hang on there, mama. Just one more year.

 

I empathize with the hubby situation. Mine works regular hours, but can't seem to get out of the office. In an effort to leave early (ever the optimist!), he tries to go in early and take advantage of the company's flex time option. The problem is that he often gets held up by the people coming in late (due to the aforementioned "flex time" policy). Our result? A man who leaves for work at 6 a.m. and gets home at 6:30 or 7:00 at night, totally exhausted. It is taxing for everyone involved.

 

One thing that helped me at that stage was doing everything I could possibly do while my husband was home (after dinner) or after the kids were in bed. One big problem was that we would still be finishing school when it was time to cook dinner. Then, when hubby finally got home, it would be 6:30 and I'd be looking for something to make for supper while he was in charge of the kiddos. Preparing the night before made a big difference. I would look at the next evening's dinner (the main meal for you might be lunch), and as soon as we finished cleaning up supper I would prepare what I could for the next day. That might mean pre-cooking ground beef, taking frozen foods out to thaw, cutting vegetables, etc. -- anything that would make the next day's cooking faster.

 

The other problem was getting going in the morning. I really wasn't into the whole "4yo picks her own wardrobe" thing, so I started laying the kids' clothes out as/after they went to bed. In the morning, the older two could get dressed (for the most part) before they came downstairs. I'd help dress the youngest, although it inspired her to want to dress herself as well. (SCORE!) There was no hassle in getting them to go back upstairs to dress, and the only major hurdle was breakfast. I know some women who set the table for breakfast before they go to bed, although I never did that.

 

This year I've taken to making multiples of cooked breakfasts that can be frozen. For the last few weeks, when I make baked goods for breakfast, I double or triple the batch and freeze the leftovers. Ditto for an amazing baked oatmeal casserole that we make. I think that will get rid of some of the guilt I have over serving lots of cereal and bagels -- plus, with a family of six, we can go through a bag of bagels in one breakfast. Scratch cooking is cheaper! Of course, that assumes you have a freezer at your disposal. (I asked for one a used one as a birthday gift a few years back -- it was cheap and a great gift.)

 

I admit that I've fallen away from almost all of these tricks in the past years, because I really have to struggle to be organized in my housekeeping. Also, it really did make me feel like I never had any down time. On the other hand, I already kind of felt like that in an out of control way. The routine and the structure from being more organized really gave me some peace of mind. I highly recommend it.

 

As for paring down on what you're teaching, you know your kiddos best. I was in a position where I had two kids who were way ahead of schedule (reading, doing math, etc., by 4yo), and that's why I was homeschooling in the first place. I wouldn't have been comfortable with school that wasn't challenging them, especially at the first grade level, and challenging small children means lots of individual attention. You can't just sit them down with a textbook and say, "Go!"

 

On the other hand, I did try to keep pre-school to 60-120 minutes for everything, depending on what we were doing. During that time, I gave my 6yo any of the work he could do alone so that I bought myself one-on-one time with the middle child (with constant interruptions from the 2yo). Usually we did school in chunks -- morning was pre-school and independent work for the older one, then lunch, then afternoon was free time for the middle child (with constant interruptions from the 2yo and 4yo fighting)and "first grade time". Something like that might work for you as well, depending on the attention span of your oldest.

 

As your kiddos get older, you'll likely have to keep experimenting with what to do and when, but I can honestly say that it will probably never be this difficult again. Feel free to PM me if you want to rant. ;)

 

Good luck!

--Pamela

[TreasuresFromHeaven]

We don't actually school all day but after reading the responses, I think it hangs over my head more and it feels more like it than what we actually do. If we have reading from 3 or 4 books for the day (different subjects) and we only get to one, then the others seem to nag me and I get overwhelmed.

 

Not everything fits in a neat 2 hours like I would like. As you can tell, I am very Type A. And I am realizing that I need to be even more flexible than I have become since having children :-)

[Thia]

When my husband worked nights, the kids and I would get up, have breakfast and get right into school. The only thing I'd do was put any food away. Dishes waited. When my husband woke, we'd have a break while I got him some food (usually between 10 and 11). We'd finish our school, usually around 12. Kids would go play while I did chores, started "dinner." We'd all eat together at 3 and my husband would go to work. After he left, I'd finish up chores and have an evening with the kids. It wasn't ideal, but it worked until he found a day job.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

it's hard....I just have 1....but dh's work schedule changes every 3-4 months and somewhere along the time he'll get stuck working overnight-like now through october....I wish I had the magic answer but I don't...sometimes laundry sits---sometimes the housework waits...Hubby helps--he will do dishes/laundry/other housework--not sure if that's an option for your situation......I like to think of it like my kid comes first---I'll do "whatever" when I get to it.....laundry/housework/etc......we take breaks inbetween our lessons--works for my son--sometimes I'll get caught up on housework during this time.....hope you find something that works for you.....:grouphug:

[TreasuresFromHeaven]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their input. Yesterday and today went soooo much better. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

[cdrumm4448]

Let's go totally crazy here:

So, could you get up, eat breakfast, leave the dishes in the sink & the chores unfinished (and even stay in PJs if necessary) in order to get some "school" done in the morning (stuff like math & reading that you really want to get done while the kids are fresh)? Then, when DH gets up, have him help get the kids ready & supervise their chores (quality time with Dad, YEAH!) while you take a shower, make lunch for you & the kids, and eat (with Dad telling the kids about his night at work or the kids talking about what they learned in math already that morning). After your lunch is done, you clean up from breakfast & lunch while Dad takes the kids for a walk, listens to them read aloud (as appropriate), or reads some interesting book to them all.

 

You put the youngest down for a nap, the 4 yr old plays quietly with some toys, the 6 yr old does whatever he can independently while you spend some quality non-child-interrupting time with DH.

 

DH leaves for work and you finish up "school" with your older two, make supper, and everyone helps tidy up the main rooms before bed.

 

It spreads "school" out into two distinct time periods - so it seems like you are "schooling" all day, but you get your cleaning/break/DH time in the middle.

 

My DH works a rotating schedule. Sometimes he's on nights, sometimes he's on days, and some days he has off during the normal "school week." We have to be pretty flexible around here. Don't be afraid to try something different for a week to see how it goes. Good luck!

 

:iagree:

My DH also works swing shift. We change things around all the time. We also tend to get behind since we want to be available when he's available. I get up at 6 am to get the house clean and laundry done (I'm working on 5am but I'm not quite there yet.) I also try to get other misc. chores done after dinner.

 

Some day my children won't need me quite so much for school, but for now, we just keep plugging away.