yellowperch Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Dh and I are worried. Ds9--gifted in math, talented in everything else he does from swimming to piano to drawing--is turning into a bit of a prig. DH summed it up this morning. "he wants it on a silver platter or else he wants to be left alone". We are not white glove people so this will not work out for us in the long run. How do we help ds not become a horrible insufferable beast? Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Can you give examples of his behavior? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 He needs to be exposed to something that does NOT come easy to him. Instrument lessons have a very nice humbling quality to a child like this - everybody starts out not being able to play, and only practice helps. If it is still easy, the teacher can challenge him and assign him harder pieces. A challenging sport works only well - training horses, for instance. Even for an all-round talent, there will be areas where he is less gifted, or harder challenges you can pose. Better he learns it now than at 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 He needs to be exposed to something that does NOT come easy to him. Instrument lessons have a very nice humbling quality to a child like this - everybody starts out not being able to play. I agree... but be prepared for bouts of temper when things do not come easily. (Don't let him quit.) My oldest was 5 when he started with the cello. He had a huge meltdown after his first lesson b/c he didn't sound as good as his teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 You mentioned swimming, but does he play any team sports? It sounds like he could use some experience with teamwork. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Dh and I are worried. Ds9--gifted in math, talented in everything else he does from swimming to piano to drawing--is turning into a bit of a prig. DH summed it up this morning. "he wants it on a silver platter or else he wants to be left alone". We are not white glove people so this will not work out for us in the long run. How do we help ds not become a horrible insufferable beast? Seriously. Give him a pair of white gloves and teach him to polish his own silver platter. ;) Seriously, give him some chores that involve physical labor and cleaning. Yard work. Dishes. Polishing the silver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I agree... but be prepared for bouts of temper when things do not come easily. (Don't let him quit.) My oldest was 5 when he started with the cello. He had a huge meltdown after his first lesson b/c he didn't sound as good as his teacher. Yep. We started piano at 5. The first few months, every single mistake send her running away, crying. Music lessons do wonders for the frustration tolerance - but the parent needs to have persistance and patience herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onaclairadeluna Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Give him a french horn or a viola :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Yep. We started piano at 5. The first few months, every single mistake send her running away, crying. Music lessons do wonders for the frustration tolerance - but the parent needs to have persistance and patience herself. When does that start to kick in? :tongue_smilie: Really, ds started piano at 5 as well. He is now 7 and is just getting to the point where he can make a mistake and not flip out. Today he got upset that he kept making the same mistake over and over - he looked at me and said he needed a little break. This was huge! And sure enough, after a short break he sat back down and nailed it. To the OP - playing an instrument or team sport are good ideas, but you might also consider getting him involved in some sort service project or volunteer work. I'm not sure how old he is, but I think even relatively young kids can help with Habitat for Humanity. ETA: I just saw his age. Habitat may not work, but I bet you could find something volunteer oriented. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenbrdsly Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Give him a pair of white gloves and teach him to polish his own silver platter. ;) Seriously, give him some chores that involve physical labor and cleaning. Yard work. Dishes. Polishing the silver. This is what Maria Montessori would do! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I think it's also valuable to spend time with people who are better than you at that thing you're really good at. Particularly if they're around your age or even younger. It's hard on the ego at first, but it also relieves some of that self-imposed pressure to be the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I think it's also valuable to spend time with people who are better than you at that thing you're really good at. Yes! I have looked for this situation for my two oldest children. It's not always easy to find. When you do find it, believe it or not, the kids REALLY appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 A: Find someone who's as smart or smarter than he is in his strength for him to work with if possible. You may need to go online for this. B: Something where he'll struggle and have to work hard at first -- art? martial art? computer programming? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I think it's also valuable to spend time with people who are better than you at that thing you're really good at. Particularly if they're around your age or even younger. :iagree: Piano and drawing are fairly individual, but swimming happens with a team. Is he on a swim team? With other talented swimmers? Who can push each other to try harder every day? There will always be someone faster, even for Michael Phelps. First locally just gets you entered into bigger meets, til you are not first anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 When does that start to kick in? :tongue_smilie: Really, ds started piano at 5 as well. He is now 7 and is just getting to the point where he can make a mistake and not flip out. Today he got upset that he kept making the same mistake over and over - he looked at me and said he needed a little break. This was huge! And sure enough, after a short break he sat back down and nailed it. My son has been taking piano for 5 years and it's definitely been a process. A demanding teacher made a HUGE difference. His 2nd teacher (1st moved away - she was great), just loved how easily he learned things and let him run the show. Our 3rd teacher demands excellence and my oldest doesn't not want to disappoint him. My son loved the 2nd teacher, but who wouldn't love someone who tells you how amazing you are constantly!? At least the current teacher waits until he is out of the room. :tongue_smilie: If piano, swimming, and drawing are enjoyable for him and "easy" right now, find a more intense, targeted program. I think chores and physical labor is great too for taking it down a notch! My kids still have work to do here. They are in charge of a few things like kitty litter though. Nothing like cat poop to make you humble. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.