jubygirl Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 My twins will be turning 13 in October, and we were wanting to do some kind of ceremony as a rite of passage into manhood. Now, before you all shoot me down, have any of you read "Raising a Modern-Day Knight"? My parents gave me and each of my siblings a purity ring. It was a symbol of our devotion to God and remaining pure until we were married -- and even afterwards for that matter. That phrase has always bugged me: "Stay pure until you are married!" What does that mean? You aren't pure after you get married? But I digress...... Anyway, have any of you done any sort of rite of passage into manhood for their boys? I really want to set the bar of expectations high and to call them UP in their journey toward manhood. I want it to be memorable and to be a stake in the ground so to speak for them. One in which they can look back and remember the prayers said, the encouraging words and the love shown them by their father and other men in their lives. I think turning 13 is such a pivotal age in a boy's life! Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy (TX) Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I had never really thought/heard of this before but just the other day I saw this book: http://www.amazon.com/Rite-Passage-Blessing-Jim-McBride/dp/0802458807 It sounded interesting, since I have a 10yo DS, and says it has specific ideas that the author and others used for rites of passage. I would be interested in what other people do, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 In our Church, Confirmation usually happens around that age. It is not considered a God-given mandate, nor labelled as a rite of passage, but it is a tradition that functions as a rite of passage into an adult level Faith commitment. For my DD it was huge, and I was glad that we had this custom in our community for her to publicly bear witness to her faith, and to commit to fidelity to it with the help of God. She also had 8th grade graduation, which was far less important or memorable. In both cases, the fact that the community had been celebrating these annually for a long time made them more resonant and meaningful than something we would make up ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloversandlions Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I am not religious, and I have no advice for you, but I feel strongly that the lack of such a thing in our culture is lamentable at best; I think there is something valuable in having some way to mark the transition - acknowledging the changes these children are going though, placing a gentle mantle of responsibility on them, and cloaking them with our love and trust as they wend their way to adulthood. Also, I know it may not add much to the discussion, but you might enjoy reading/having your children read the book, Ali and the Golden Eagle. I'm not sure, but I think this is on one of Sonlight's reading list. And whether it is or not, it's just a fantastic book. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Nope, but I hope some of the modern day knights we know through the SCA will mentor my son when he's older. There are some wonderful men there. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I have thought about this too with no answers and my ds turns 13 in a couple weeks. I know that I planned to do something special with dd when she starts her first cycle as a way to celebrate her transition into womanhood but have yet to figure out what to do with ds. What makes it harder is his father is not around so it is something that has to be from mother to son kwim and anything I have found always has to do with father to son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 My husband is having a party at our church with cake and punch for our son when he turns 13 in September. He has invited local men in his life to speak about manhood to him. My son will receive a leather Bible with his name engraved, a sword, some tools, and a few other things. Men who are distant were invited to send letters that my husband is putting in a simple notebook for him to read. Yes, we have Modern-Day Knight and like it. My husband has been planning this for a few months, but it could be planned in a shorter time. It will be less formal and smaller than it sounds from this message, LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 There is a sunday school curriculum called Rite 13, maybe look into that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbeygirlsouth Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 We gave my son what we called a "blessing" party when he turned 13. We invited a few families that we have known for many years as well as men that have been in his life. In the invitation we asked that the men would come with a letter of a written blessing to help us usher him into adulthood. We had a very short video of DS from birth up, and had a few funny stories and a few of the men talked about what it meant to be a man. There were some really awesome speakers. His father and I presented a Bible and a few other personal items that we hoped would always remind him of this special day. One friend spoke on "What a boy does...What a man does....what a boy says....what a man says...etc. and framed it. It included quite a few words of wisdom and my son has packed it with his things before he leaves for college in two weeks. So I do believe this rite of passage can be meaningful even years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubygirl Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Thanks for the ideas! For those of you who have something at the church, do you invite all the men at the church or just those who have had some sort of impact on your sons? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 This is completely non-spiritual, and possibly not very helpful, but we are planning to buy our sons when they turn 14 a broken down car. One that would take them about 2 years to fix up on their own (with Dad's help) and finance the re-building on their own. Just a thought... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Good question as we're in the planning stages too. My dh is going to take our ds away for a Passport to Purity weekend before he turns 13. On our ds' 13th birthday, we plan to open both checking and savings accounts for him with $ in them ;). I think my dh is thinking about teaching our ds to drive that day too. We have Raising a Modern Day Knight. I think we'll look into doing some of the activities this year with history. We hope to do a blessing type of ceremony at an older age, perhaps 16 or 18. HTH! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 When ds turned 16, we had a Birthday Blessing party. We invited 6 families over and asked the father in each family to prepare a blessing to speak over ds. Each man is someone who was/is close to ds and had some insight into his personality and character. Dh and I were extremely touched over how much thought they put into their words (oh yeah, ds appreciated it, too ;)). Their words and advice as they encouraged ds toward godly manhood will always be remembered and treasured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 We really liked the Squire and the Scroll...T here is a ceremony described in the Life Lessons booklet that goes with it. You can buy the set from Revive our Hearts ministry , I think. http://www.amazon.com/Squire-Scroll-Jennie-Bishop/dp/1593170793/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313271677&sr=8-1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubygirl Posted August 14, 2011 Author Share Posted August 14, 2011 JVA It looks like "The Squire and the Scroll" is a little young for my boys who will be turning 13 in October. Thank you for your input however! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxanne23 Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 (edited) . Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 My boys are all little still, but I just wanted to say that I love this thread and the ideas in it! Now I really want to see "Raising a Modern-Day Knight," especially since my oldest son and I both share a love of medieval history. :) For those of you who have had a ceremony/gathering with other men, did you, the mom, attend/participate in it as well, or just your DH? While I think it is important for dads and sons to have "guy time," I'm still the most important woman in their lives (though somewhere out there are three lovely girls who are as of yet unaware of how blessed they are) and I would not want to be left out! (At the same time, I can imagine both DH and DD being embarrassed at DH being included in any sort of womanhood rite of passage, but I wouldn't want to leave him out either, so I don't know.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbeygirlsouth Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 This is completely non-spiritual, and possibly not very helpful, but we are planning to buy our sons when they turn 14 a broken down car. One that would take them about 2 years to fix up on their own (with Dad's help) and finance the re-building on their own. Sounds like a great and special opportunity for your sons. One family that we know of did this with their 3 sons- who are now adults- and it is what encouraged my husband and son to begin this project as well. Although my son was older when he began (17). His car wasn't from the bottom up either and since my husband is a pretty good mechanic (and the fact that DS wanted a vehicle) things went quicker than anticipated....so I do think it's wise to begin at a younger age as you are planning. For those of you who have had a ceremony/gathering with other men, did you, the mom, attend/participate in it as well, or just your DH? While I think it is important for dads and sons to have "guy time," I'm still the most important woman in their lives (though somewhere out there are three lovely girls who are as of yet unaware of how blessed they are) and I would not want to be left out! (At the same time, I can imagine both DH and DD being embarrassed at DH being included in any sort of womanhood rite of passage, but I wouldn't want to leave him out either, so I don't know.) Ours was very much a mixed party atmosphere with families....female cousins, wives, sisters. I took care of the video and put that in and gave a few funny stories, was more or less a hostess (we had a light meal and cake). DH and I both prayed over DS, but the ceremony of speaking a blessing into Son's life was done by DH and the men that had been invited. One of the special things that I noticed about this, was that the families of some of the men were so inspired by what their dads/husbands said. We heard a couple of the younger boys ask their fathers if they too were going to be "blessed" when they got older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Sounds like a great and special opportunity for your sons. One family that we know of did this with their 3 sons- who are now adults- and it is what encouraged my husband and son to begin this project as well. Although my son was older when he began (17). His car wasn't from the bottom up either and since my husband is a pretty good mechanic (and the fact that DS wanted a vehicle) things went quicker than anticipated....so I do think it's wise to begin at a younger age as you are planning. Thank you for this information! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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