Should I send my daughter to preschool?

[kristinannie]

I know a lot of people on here are totally against school of any kind. We are not. However, I am really wondering whether or not we should send DD3 to preschool. Here is the story:

 

DS5 went to this preschool when he was 3 and had the teacher DD3 will have. She is amazing. The experience was awesome. He made friends that he still has playdates with today. He learned a lot and had a great time. It is a private Christian preschool and she will be going 2 days a week from 8:30-11:30.

 

Last year, we sent both kids. DS5 was in pre-K. It was a disaster. They taught him sight words which was so hard to overcome. He refused to even try to sound out words. There were a couple of bullies in the class. Anyway, I am definitely NOT sending DD to pre-K. DD3 was in the 2yo class last year. I was very disappointed. It was basically like daycare.

 

So, she is really excited to have Ms. Sherry this year. She even learned to poop in the potty because I told her she couldn't be in Ms. Sherry's class without doing so. However, I am starting to second guess the decision to send her. We could obviously handle teaching her preschool at home. She already does "school" with us and it is going really well. I definitely don't push her. She can participate when and how she wants to.

 

There are a couple of reasons I don't want to send her. First of all, it is about 20-25 minutes away so it will take up quite a bit of time in the mornings. It will also cost about $200 a month when you figure in gas and snacks that I am required to provide. I am not really sure we can afford it right now. We have owned two houses for almost a year and have used up almost all of our savings. It would require a financial sacrifice to send her. I just don't know if it is worth it. Honestly, it is mostly for the social aspect of preschool. She could probably get a similar social benefit from taking dance or tumbling which we could afford if she wasn't in preschool (DD will be 4 in Oct).

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I have so much guilt about not sending her. It's ironic though because I have zero guilt about not sending DS5 to kindergarten!

[PentecostalMom]

Educational benefits or not aside, it sounds like the financial situation would put a strain on your entire family, so I vote to keep her home!

[Parrothead]

I'd go with the dance classes or tumbling instead of preschool. Personally I can see a lot more benefit with dance/tumbling.

[kristinannie]

It sounds like the cons outweigh the pros in your situation.

 

 

:iagree: I just can't stop thinking about how great the experience was for my son when he had this teacher. I don't want to deny that to my daughter. I guess this is just a case of mommy guilt! I even asked her this morning if she wanted to go to preschool or do school at home with Mommy and John Paul and she said she would rather stay home. Then she said, "I can just go to Ms Sherry's the next year when I am 4." I don't know what to make of that!

[Mrs Mungo]

My girls attended preschool from 3-4. It was two mornings/week. I mention it so that you know I am not anti-school or anti-preschool. However, it was right up the street from us and there was no financial hardship involved for us. I did not do preschool for my son at that age because I couldn't justify the morning driving when I needed to be getting the girls started on schoolwork.

 

You really have to decide if you want to do this *for you*. Preschoolers are busy and it can be a relief to have them occupied a couple of mornings a week when you're trying to do school. That's the question, what are the benefits *for you*?

[PentecostalMom]

My 9 year old (nor my 6 year old for that matter) remember anything from what they did when they were three. I'm not saying that whatever happens at 3 has no impact, but she can have lots of other positive experiences. She isn't going to say, "Gee I sure missed out on the whole preschool experience."

:iagree:

 

Next year she probably won't recall saying that!

[athomemom]

Educational benefits or not aside, it sounds like the financial situation would put a strain on your entire family, so I vote to keep her home!

 

:iagree:

 

And your dd is now old enough to do school with you and her big brother!

[NanceXToo]

I am not completely anti-preschool (if it's not an academic preschool and if the child enjoys it) but in your case, I wouldn't send her- it's not worth the financial strain. I don't think you need to feel guilty, either. She can have a different sort of amazing year, with her mom/family, and she can join an extra-curricular activity such as tumbling as you mentioned which is great for socializing and has health benefits. :)

[annlaura]

Your DD is not guaranteed a great experience because your DS had one. Even if the teacher is wonderful, the dynamics of the group of children are not necessarily going to be as positive. I agree with pp - keep her home.

[kristinannie]

Your DD is not guaranteed a great experience because your DS had one. Even if the teacher is wonderful, the dynamics of the group of children are not necessarily going to be as positive. I agree with pp - keep her home.

 

 

That is really true. I think there was just a really great group of kids and parents in that class along with the great teacher! Thanks for posting this.

[Pretty in Pink]

I'm not anti-school (though academic preschools are not something that I am interested in, personally). If we had the disposable income each of mine would have attended a good montessori preschool, but we didn't so they didn't. They have all turned out just fine.

 

In your case it sounds like the cons definetely outweight the pros. I wouldn't place a financial strain on our household in order to send my toddler to preschool. I don't believe that the experience is that valuable. There are lower-cost and free activities that you could probably participate in (play groups, story time, open gym days at the local gymnastics studio, perhaps even something with a local homeschool group, etc.). I'm sure you would get a plethora of other suggestions on this board if you asked. These activities have the added benefits, such as including both children, providing unique and rewarding experiences for them, and creating networking opportunities for you.

[black_midori]

I was wondering what sort of thing you thought they should teach 2yos? Pretty much any 2yo I have been around is basically "daycare" property. Sounds like the 3yo class was fun, but due to the burden on your family in time and finances, you might as well just skip it. You can do the same stuff with her at home, and take her to a free co-op playgroup or to dance or something.

[Evergreen State Sue]

My kids didn't go to preschool, but at age 3 they were in Awana, MOPS, and Community Bible Study so they had outings where they were around other kids their age. As you were describing the benefits you saw, I thought well, maybe it would be a good idea. However, as soon as you said it would be a financial strain on you and there would be extra travel time, my vote changed to having you keep her at home or get her into some other activity that works better with your family's situation.

[Joyofsixreboot]

If it was a time strain or financial strain no. I am not anti- preschool. My dd will attend but 1) it's our local church pre-school and very inexpensive and 2) it's 5 minutes walking from our house. If it was an effort for me she wouldn't go 3) I like play based pre-school and would shy away from an academic one. I mostly want someone else to scrape up the glitter and glue.

Edited August 10, 2011 by joyofsix

[kristinannie]

I was wondering what sort of thing you thought they should teach 2yos? Pretty much any 2yo I have been around is basically "daycare" property. Sounds like the 3yo class was fun, but due to the burden on your family in time and finances, you might as well just skip it. You can do the same stuff with her at home, and take her to a free co-op playgroup or to dance or something.

 

 

She really wanted to go to preschool since big brother was so I put her in the 2yo class (she was almost 3). The kids were babies. They weren't potty trained, they sucked their thumbs. She totally regressed. I thought they would do more of the stuff that the older kids did (field trips, more art projects, etc). It wasn't like that. I also did it to have some alone time with my new baby so that worked out well for me.

[kristinannie]

If it was a time strain or financial strain no. I am not anti- preschool. My dd will attend but 1) it's our local church pre-school and very inexpensive and 2) it's 5 minutes walking from our house. If it was an effort for me she wouldn't go 3) I like play based pre-school and would shy away from an academic one. I mostly want someone else to scrape up the glitter and glue.

 

This is a play based preschool. They do learn letters and numbers and colors. They have a letter every week. It is lowkey. There are creative movement and singing classes, Bible class and the rest consists of lots of coloring, riding trikes and eating snack! :D Now that I am writing that down, it doesn't really sound like it is worth $200. :lol:

[FairProspects]

Do you have anyone you can carpool with? Ds 2 attends a fabulous Montessori preschool, but it is possible because my friend takes the kids in and drops them off, and I pick them up after lunch. By then, we are done with school for ds 1 anyway, so it really eliminates the drive time as an issue.

 

Preschool works well for us because ds 2 is super active and while he is entertained at preschool, I can accomplish a lot fairly quickly with ds 1.

[LarlaB]

My girls attended preschool from 3-4. It was two mornings/week. I mention it so that you know I am not anti-school or anti-preschool. However, it was right up the street from us and there was no financial hardship involved for us. I did not do preschool for my son at that age because I couldn't justify the morning driving when I needed to be getting the girls started on schoolwork.

 

You really have to decide if you want to do this *for you*. Preschoolers are busy and it can be a relief to have them occupied a couple of mornings a week when you're trying to do school. That's the question, what are the benefits *for you*?

 

:iagree: 101%

 

I am not anti-school, rather am pro-family unit in finding what works best for all (whenever possible). I sent both kiddos to small, gentle preschools (or mothers-day-out) for 2x a week. And actually, this year DD7 is going to a small church school because it works best for our situation this year.

 

If you are sending DC2 simply because you sent DC1, that's not a 'good enough' reason for me- LOL. But if it is good for you AND dc to have time away from you/school and isn't an unbearable financial hardship then go for it. While it doesn't sound like a lot when you write it down, to a small kiddo its huge. The group activity, routine, friends & learning to be with others is actually a good thing (IMHO) in small doses when kiddos are young. :)

So if it works for YOU

[Mommy22alyns]

I wouldn't send her. And don't feel guilty about it! Sylvia only lasted 4 months at preschool and she has no deficits of any kind for being homeschooled all the way. :)

[catz]

I think preschool is different than kindergarten. Kindergarten now is so structured and dry. My son went to 2 years of PS. Both my kids went to preschool and had a wonderful experience. We are still friends with many families we met in our preschool days! My daughter's preschool was a 5 minute walk from home, run co-op style, and was dirt cheap. She was only there 7 1/2 hours a week and that was a very important 7 1/2 hours to me at the time considering I was just starting to homeschool my older.

 

That said, if it's going to take 80 minutes of driving (there and back 2X right?) to make it happen and the money is hard to part with right now, it's totally fine not to do it! And you shouldn't feel one iota of guilt. Just make sure you have some out of the house activities going on that will serve both kids.