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PSA: teach your kids it's rude to whisper about people in front of them


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So we just got to music. There is a girl and mom sitting, waiting. Never seen them before. The child looks at my dd and whispers to her mom. Her mom looks up at my dd and whispers back. This happens three times!!!! I am literally staring at this child whose has no idea she is RUDE! Luckily my dd didn't notice or care but I wish I had the gall to tell the mom how rude it is! :001_huh:

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Once DD#2 commented on the girl right in from of us at Wal-Mart, "Mama, I can see that lady's belly hanging out of her pants. That is TOTALLY in-a-po-pee-at, right?". Granted she was about three, but I was so embarrassed! We had quite the talk in the car on the way home!

 

Sad that the mother was encouraging that behavior by whispering back... Very rude!

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My mom still whispers to me when we are in public. She is 62. It's so embarrassing.

 

Be thankful it's whispering. My dad has taken to speaking very loudly about others in front of them, referring to "the fat girl" etc. I don't want to go out in public with him anymore!

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Everytime we go somewhere my daughter whispers in front of other kids. She whispers to me Mommy can I talk to that kid? Will they like me? Is it possible that is what could have been going on? I tell her it is not nice to whisper but she is so shy.

 

:iagree: You are right, it is rude...but what if the conversation went something like the above? Does your dd have something physically wrong with her that might make some other children want to whisper? I had to tell my youngest not to stare at someone who was physically/mentally handicapped before, but even then, I cound tell he did it more for curiousity (what happened to her, mommy?) type stuff rather than trying to be mean or ugly about/towards that person.

 

:grouphug:

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Everytime we go somewhere my daughter whispers in front of other kids. She whispers to me Mommy can I talk to that kid? Will they like me? Is it possible that is what could have been going on? I tell her it is not nice to whisper but she is so shy.

 

:iagree: Without knowing what they said, it could be possible the conversation was all about "I like her leotard, can I have one, isn't she pretty, is she new...." Lots of sweet, harmlessness - choose to think the best!

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Is it possible they were talking about something unrelated to you and your dd, and they didn't want you to hear, and were looking at you to see if you noticed or heard them? Personally, if that were the case, I'd have told my child if it can't be said out loud, wait until later... but maybe that's all it was.

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Be thankful it's whispering. My dad has taken to speaking very loudly about others in front of them, referring to "the fat girl" etc. I don't want to go out in public with him anymore!

 

My grandmother went deaf (so she yelled everything) and suffered from Alzheimers. It was an... interesting... combination. You had to laugh or you would cry when you went anywhere with her. She sat next to my dh and described a woman sitting about three feet away: "Do you know who that is? The really big woman in the black?" (It was her cousin.) We were walking behind my brother, and she said, "Boy your brother is putting on a lot of weight lately!" :D

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:iagree: Without knowing what they said, it could be possible the conversation was all about "I like her leotard, can I have one, isn't she pretty, is she new...." Lots of sweet, harmlessness - choose to think the best!

 

This is why my DD whispers....she is SO shy. I do try to tell her that if she wants to whisper something to me then she doesn't' need to be looking at other people or pointing.

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:grouphug:

 

I don't allow whispering at all for this very reason. It is human nature to assume someone is saying something negative about you.

 

Exactly. Even if the whisperers in the OP were saying lovely, kind things, it still made Tess feel bad and that's impolite.

 

Agreed, though, that the unfiltered shouting can be pretty embarrassing, as well. I was volunteering as a cashier at the library used book sale and was working with a lady who didn't take pains to modulate her voice. When one of our customers had a little trouble counting his money, she turned to me and shouted, "Dementia, Honey!" I nearly died on the spot.

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:iagree: Without knowing what they said, it could be possible the conversation was all about "I like her leotard, can I have one, isn't she pretty, is she new...." Lots of sweet, harmlessness - choose to think the best!

:iagree:

Is it possible they were talking about something unrelated to you and your dd, and they didn't want you to hear, and were looking at you to see if you noticed or heard them? Personally, if that were the case, I'd have told my child if it can't be said out loud, wait until later... but maybe that's all it was.

:iagree: mostly...

So we just got to music. There is a girl and mom sitting, waiting. Never seen them before. The child looks at my dd and whispers to her mom. Her mom looks up at my dd and whispers back. This happens three times!!!! I am literally staring at this child whose has no idea she is RUDE! Luckily my dd didn't notice or care but I wish I had the gall to tell the mom how rude it is! :001_huh:

While waiting I prefer that my children (and everyone else, including myself) speak softly. I really can't stand sitting in a waiting room, or having gone in from a waiting room, and listening to people practically shouting at each other to be heard. I was raised that in that situation it is rude to speak in a normal conversational voice, because you are disturbing those around you.

 

IOW, imho, sometimes not whispering is rude. Sometimes, holding your conversation in a normal tone of voice is rude, because you're disturbing those around you. It could be that this mother TAUGHT her daughter to whisper in those situations, in order to keep from disturbing those around her.

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This is why my DD whispers....she is SO shy. I do try to tell her that if she wants to whisper something to me then she doesn't' need to be looking at other people or pointing.

 

Right. Because most people would assume she was saying something about them. It might be human nature to assume the worst of people--but this is a little girl. :001_huh:

 

I have a 7 yo (and my dd was once 7 along with two older boys before her ;)), it would absolutely occur to me that this particular intricacy of body language and social skills would be unknown to a small child--particularly a shy one.

 

Maybe I see this because I was the shy kid. I was soft-spoken and constantly asked to speak up. Then accused of yelling. Whatever. :tongue_smilie:

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We treat waiting rooms like libraries- they are places to be quiet and not disturb others.

 

My rude kids and I would probably be doing the same thing--especially if I saw a mom texting/using e-mail or internet on her phone. (I'd assume that it was possibly an important conversation she was having, and that speaking out loud would be rude.)

 

Can't win I guess.

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