woolybear Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I remember when I first learned that dsil and her dh slept in separate twin beds I thought that was unusual. Then I learned that she had Restless Leg Syndrome and even the CalKing didn't allow for her dh to sleep comfortably. Made so much sense after that. Hey, remember Lucy and Ricky? Worked for them.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) Sounds like it's working. Just a note: studies show that even spouses who "sleep through" their spouse's snoring are actually having disrupted sleep. They aren't aware of it. But the health impacts for those spouses are like others with disrupted sleep--including the snorer himself. My point is this. Your heavy sleepers might still be having sleep stages distrupted by the noise even if they aren't waking fully. That would bother me. Sleep is important for all of course but especially for developing minds and bodies. Second, the health effects for your husband's sleep apnea for him are scary. (I have apnea...) If your husband can be bribed :D, convinced, or encouraged to have a sleep study and get treatment (C-PAP) it would be so much better for him and likely the boys as well. :iagree::iagree:If he snores loudly, he may have sleep apnea. DH and I both had sleep studies and are now both using CPAP which we should have done years ago. They now have nasal pillows for CPAP which are great as well as many other masks for CPAP. Plus there are many different machines. We both feel much better using the CPAP.:D I have also read that some insomniacs also have sleep apnea type problems as well. We do sleep together but there used to be some nights with his loud snoring that I had trouble sleeping and wanted to send him to the couch;) No more snoring anymore with the CPAP:) Edited July 5, 2011 by priscilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 we did until dh got the c-pap. It is better now I see someone else talked about the problems with it. He did get the kind that fits in the nose. They also make another one that some how has a mouth piece and fits on the nose. SO I'd work hard to see if you could find one to work for your family :iagree: There are many options now a days:) This site has a lot of useful tips: http://www.cpaptalk.com/CPAP-Sleep-Apnea-Forum.html?sid=cf6e8653b18f4907e36a53bbda1f5688 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Hmm, seems to me that your dh lost the right to dictate sleeping arrangements the night he accidentally punched you in the face. :eek: :crying: You must be a much more forgiving wife than I am, because I would have had him at the furniture store shopping for a new separate bed for me the next day! :grouphug: :iagree::iagree::iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 My dh tried the c-pap but couldn't sleep with it. They gave him the full face kind that covers his nose and mouth and said it made him feel claustrophobic. It also caused him to sweat all night. Even when adjusting the water, it would fill up with moisture drops and get him all wet. He joked that the thing would drown him rather than help him breathe, but I know it was extremely uncomfortable for him. I know there are ones that just go on your nose, so I'm not sure why he got the other kind. He had a surgery that's not often successful but he was desperate after not being able to use the c-pap. It sort of worked, but he still snores somewhat. He knows he needs to lose about 40-50 pounds and that might help. His doctor wants him to have another sleep study, and he's going to ask about the c-pap that doesn't cover both nose and mouth. I just wanted to point out that not everyone is successful with a c-pap, unfortunately. The feeling claustrophobic is because the pressure feels weird while exhaling. A lot of machines now have an exhale relief. Getting wet is called rainout and all he has to do is run the hose over a high headboard and/or wrap up the hose in a warm blanket. As for the sweating, unfortunately the only fix is to keep the room cooler. I don't "need" A/C where we live, but I do have one in my room to use at night for the sweaty mask issue. Insurance companies do not like to pay for full face masks, so if he has one, I'm going to assume it's needed. It took about 2 months for me to used to my mask, and I also use a full face mask. I use the fischer & paykel 431 exclusively, and I love it! I had to learn on my own. He has to play with the straps to find the perfect settings. He should also play with his machine and look for different starting pressures, expiratory relief settings, etc. He will not be able to change his prescribed pressure (unless he looks it up), so he doesn't have to worry about messing things up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 What is with guys not wanting to go to the Dr?!? These issues are treatable (referring to all the snoring posts), and can be LIFE THREATENING!!! I don't have an SO, and couldn't imagine having to share my bed with another adult! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Dh and I don't usually... but that's because he works all night. We used to have separate rooms as well, but then the kids took them over, so now we share the same room, we just usually have it in shifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) My dh tried the c-pap but couldn't sleep with it. They gave him the full face kind that covers his nose and mouth and said it made him feel claustrophobic. It also caused him to sweat all night. Even when adjusting the water, it would fill up with moisture drops and get him all wet. He joked that the thing would drown him rather than help him breathe, but I know it was extremely uncomfortable for him. I know there are ones that just go on your nose, so I'm not sure why he got the other kind. He had a surgery that's not often successful but he was desperate after not being able to use the c-pap. It sort of worked, but he still snores somewhat. He knows he needs to lose about 40-50 pounds and that might help. His doctor wants him to have another sleep study, and he's going to ask about the c-pap that doesn't cover both nose and mouth. I just wanted to point out that not everyone is successful with a c-pap, unfortunately. He needs to advocate for himself and read posts on cpaptalk.com. The nasal pillows are a dream and are very comfortable. We use the Resmed Swift FX Nasal pillows. Plus there are many kinds of nasal pillows and masks. :grouphug: Edited July 5, 2011 by priscilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I turned my scrapbooking room into my bedroom a couple years ago. So, now dh and I have our own rooms. I cannot take the snoring. Sometimes, when the snoring is exceptionally loud, I have to sleep downstairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAutumnOak Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 :grouphug: DH and I sleep together every night...We have never slept in different rooms or beds...I love sleeping in his arms at night...Can he see someone to get help with his sleep difficulties? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 WOW, gotta say I am jealous. DH insists we sleep together and he snores and likes to cuddle (I hate it) and he gets up way earlier than I do. We share a full size bed because we cannot afford a King right now :glare: I want my own bed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I want my own bed! That is what I asked for, and received, for Mother's Day this year! :lol: but my dh is SO NOT the cuddly type that he wasn't hurt at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 No. Once upon a time there was a snoring man sleeping in his bedroom on the righthand side of the hallway. In the bedroom on the other side of the hallway there was a 9month old baby screaming his sweet little head off, who hadn't slept on his own for more than 45mins since birth. Sitting in the hallway, leaning against a wall, sobbing for exhaustion, was the mother. Eventually the screaming stopped. The baby was finally off to sleep for a few precious moments. The mother knew that if she got into the bed with the snoring husband one more time, and he even breathed loud enough to cause her to lose one second of rest, she might have done something unspeakable to him. Furthermore, if she had to haul her exhausted body out of bed one more time while resentfully watching him sleep, she might have been inclined to make that sleep of the perpetual sort. Thus began the journey to a house with more bedrooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Me. DH is a terrible snorer and I am an insomniac. We sleep separately and have for some time. I'd rather sleep separately than wake up every morning wishing I could smother him with the pillow! Ack! I just snorted out loud when I read this and woke up the baby who was sleeping beside me. :001_huh: My dh snores something bad and I can *completely* relate to this. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) . Edited July 5, 2011 by plain jane i'm seeing double. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoundAbout Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Frequently. My DH has to get up really early for work. I like having "me time" in the evening reading or watching a movie. He snores sometimes too, though thankfully not every night. All of this means it's just easier if he takes the guest room sometimes. We have no problems sleeping together when we're traveling though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) We are a musical beds style home... People sleep wherever they get the best sleep at that phase of life, and we revisit sleeping arrangements regularly. Works for us! Us too. Recently I have been sleeping on a mattress in ds's room, as we transition him to his own bed. I really sleep so much better on my own. I wish we had a big enough house that we could have a spare room for just me! ETA: It's fascinating how many different sleeping arrangements there are. If the OP had not asked the question, I would have assumed that my preference for sleeping alone was much less common that it seems to be. I remember being horrified when I first visited my inlaws home, as they had separate rooms. Twenty years on, I've changed my views considerably! The kids have been sensory overload for me, and I prize the "alone time" that sleeping on my own allows me. Dh gets up much earlier than me, and is always concerned that he might wake me, but lying awake all alone in a bed is a real treat for me. Edited July 5, 2011 by nd293 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Dh and I probably sleep in the same bed 20% of the time. If you cross a horrible insomniac light sleeper with a snoring, sleep apnea suffering log what do you get???? US!!! We have a routine where we watch a movie (usually 10-30 minutes) before bed and when we turn that off, he goes to the couch downstairs. We NEVER sleep in the same bed on the days I have to work the next day. 12 hour shifts are hard with no sleep. It works for us. We both sleep better. I don't have to listen to him and he doesn't have to have me poking him every 5 minutes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 No. Once upon a time there was a snoring man sleeping in his bedroom on the righthand side of the hallway. In the bedroom on the other side of the hallway there was a 9month old baby screaming his sweet little head off, who hadn't slept on his own for more than 45mins since birth. Sitting in the hallway, leaning against a wall, sobbing for exhaustion, was the mother. Eventually the screaming stopped. The baby was finally off to sleep for a few precious moments. The mother knew that if she got into the bed with the snoring husband one more time, and he even breathed loud enough to cause her to lose one second of rest, she might have done something unspeakable to him. Furthermore, if she had to haul her exhausted body out of bed one more time while resentfully watching him sleep, she might have been inclined to make that sleep of the perpetual sort. Thus began the journey to a house with more bedrooms. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 My husband is obnoxious to sleep next to. He snores, LOUDLY. He blanket hogs, throws elbows and just about everything else. I'm an insomniac and need every ounce of sleep that I can get. So sleeping next to him wasn't working for me at all. So seeing that we have such a small apartment, and our daughter was ready to share a room, I and our daughter share a bedroom, and he shares a room with our two boys. We got twin beds and this is working out fabulously for both of us. I've never slept better, and my boys are heavy sleepers and are not bothered. I was just wondering if anyone else here doesn't sleep with or even in the same room as their SO? My mother-in-law sleeps in her own bedroom that she created in the loft. It is a wonderful haven! I get to share it with her when I visit by myself. My father-in-law sleeps in his own bedroom. He snores and sleeps with cats. She can't sleep through the snoring and the cat hair bothers her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I was just wondering if anyone else here doesn't sleep with or even in the same room as their SO? You are not alone. DH and I have been married 23 years this month, we have slept separately for the last 17 yrs. I refuse to share a hotel room with him on vacations. When we go to his parents house to visit, we sleep separately then too. He snores so horribly loud and he has sleep apnea. He snores on his back, he snores on his stomach, he snores on his side, he snores sitting up. I think he would snore standing if he had to sleep that way-LOL. He also has back problems and the bed just does him in. He is more comfortable on the couch. I just feel that I should not have to go without sleep every night because of his snoring. If I don't sleep well, then everyone will suffer-LOL. Also, if I let my body get worn out without a chance to recover.. either my asthma will kick in or I get sick and then my asthma kicks in and I land in ICU. He had sleep studies done and it is bad. He was given a CPAP but he can't stand it as his sinus's also seem to be an issue. And he will not get surgery. I worry so much about him as I know he is not getting a good night sleep ever and that is not good for the body. So far though he is doing okay. No health issues so far due to the sleep apnea. He has lost a lot of weight (was about 240lbs and now down to under 200 and he is 6ft tall). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I can't get comfortable if someone is touching me. I used to tolerate it in the early days, but I've never enjoyed it. Barb Same here. I hate being touched when sleeping (and he practically crushes me as he outweighs me by 100 lbs). I am a light sleeper. Dh and I are so very opposite when it comes to sleeping. I like it cold and lots of fresh air. Dh likes it warm. I like heavy blankets. Dh doesn't. I like only white noise (I always have a fan, air cleaner, or humidifier going). Dh loves having the tv on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pie Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 we haven't slept together in several years. I need the tv to sleep and to drown out his snoring. We only have 1 tv, and it's in the livingroom. I sleep on the sofa. He sleeps in bed. I don't feel good about it, but that's where we're at for now. My dd doesn't remember me ever sleeping with him! (lol) Also, he is 9 years older than me, and gets up a couple of times a night, which wakes me up. He falls instantly asleep whenever/wherever he lays down. Even when I sleep alone I can only sleep for 4 hours straight, then I am up, and can't fall back asleep. We are a mess! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 We sleep separately too. His snoring is so loud it wakes him up, so he wears ear plugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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