Please help me think of interesting pursuits for my DD

[hsbaby]

I don't have any good advice, just :grouphug:. I was in your daughters shoes at 18. I was fortunate enough to have already had a job when I found out. I remember I quit when I was about 4-5 months along, but don't really remember what I did to fill the time. I had also been accepted to college and had to delay it due to the pregnancy. It was a difficult and lonely time watching all if my friends go off to school. However, I did eventually go back to school and graduated with my bachelors. Many colleges offer great childcare programs at a minimal fee for students. Anyway, I hope she is able to find something to pass the time and help her not feel so lost. I know it was a very difficult time for me, however my dd changed my life in so many amazing ways and I wouldn't change what happened for the world. My only regrets are that I worried far too much about what other people thought and didn't enjoy the pregnancy like I should have. Best of luck to your dd, if she or you ever want to talk to someone that has BTDT, feel free to PM me!!!

[Dobela]

I have no doubt she would like to earn some extra money as well. Can you advertise herself as a tutor? I would love to pay someone a few dollars to teach my son his multiplication facts this summer! If she was in 4H maybe they have more ideas for her. In our area there is always a need for someone to help check on animals, teach kids what to do, and so on. If the fair organization is planning for a fall fair, call them and ask what she can do to help now. Our fair organization is always looking for someone to help out, or so it seems.

 

Are there other organizations that she might join? Is there a MOPS group she can join?

 

As far as volunteering, I would call any nonprofit in a reasonable distance and ask if they could use a volunteer since they are not published for you.

[Mona100]

I was pregnant at 17 and had my daugher at 18 in October of that year. So the timing is similar between myself and your daughter. I was working at the time. Also, I read everything I could about babies and being pregnant. I know you don't want her to focus totally on being pregnant, but that is what she is. It sucked to see the people I went to high school with talk about college and plan their fall semester. I delayed college for a year and was so glad that I did. It was nice to be with my daughter and be around her instead of being in school. I did work though bc my parents said I wasn't just going to sit around. But anyways, she needs this time to prepare herself forr motherhood at this age. She needs to be reminded that life is not over. In fact, it is just beginning. It's just beginning in a different way. I got my associate's degree when I was 21 and I just finished up my bachelor's degree this month. I missed alot but I also have gained alot too. It's going to be ok momma!!

[fairfarmhand]

I would also like to post a quick defense of sewing. ;)

 

It seems to be getting a bad rap here as a purely practical and domestic pursuit. It can be that, but I don't think that's really the case anymore. It can be a form of artistic expression as easily as any other hand craft.

 

In my mind, it's a creative pursuit equivalent to woodworking. No one confuses that with the drudgery of home maintenance tasks, but sewing is always lumped in with "tasks" like hemming pants & sewing on patches. Why is that? :confused:

 

There's also the instant gratification factor. I have crocheted in the past, and even tried knitting, but didn't have the patience for either. I loved sewing because it's faster. I am not a domestic type. :tongue_smilie:

:iagree:

 

Honestly, and don't take this the wrong way... But she needs to have a stern talk about NOT being mopey. This is the situation, she's in it and yes her friends all have different priorities right now. No, life's not over, but it is derailed. I can't tell you how many women who I went to HS with who were teen moms that just graduated from college this year.

 

I was married and 4 years ago I had a surprise pregnancy. I wish I had had someone give me a stern "get ahold of yourself" talk. Even happily married women get these surprises and they don't always handle them well. But life hands you an unexpected joy and you can focus on the joy or the things you won't get to do.

 

Start her reading more about childbirth, breastfeeding, etc. Is she taking any birth classes? Can she help out her midwife in some way? What life skills is she lacking? She's going to be a young mom so now's the time to do some things she will have a tougher time accomplishing once the baby is here...no time to waste!

perhaps she could serve as a mother's helper to a brand new mom? Maybe helping with dishes, cleaning etc. and it would help her learn a bit about new baby care? especially if the mom is an experienced mother this would be a good learning opportunity, while giving someone who needs the help a lift.

 

 

 

I My only regrets are that I worried far too much about what other people thought and didn't enjoy the pregnancy like I should have.

 

:iagree: I spent too much time doing that as well. Life is not over, it is just going to look a little bit different that she expected.

[Wabi Sabi]

One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet: can she babysit? I know she's had difficulty finding a job, but it might be possible to find someone who is looking for a summer sitter until the children return to school in the fall.

[Impish]

What about photography?

[YLVD]

I agree with those who mentioned studying for CLEP test, taking an on-line or CC course....and did she ask the college for a deferment? If she could wait a year before attending...and in the meantime get some basic coursework done via CC and/or CLEP (which makes her look serious about continuing her education)....has she talked to her college admission person about these options?

 

I can't see trading in college for...sewing. CLEP/CC and baby make a doable combo. I'd push that before finding her a hobby. She'll need a degree eventually to help support her kidlet. Sewing/crafting/scrapbooking won't do.

 

I totally agree.

 

I had my DD at age 19. I stayed home with her until she was just about one year old. I went back to college part time for a bit and then ramped it up to full time.

 

I graduated from the University of Washington with a Bachelor's Degree when my DD was 5 years old. I did it as a single mom and it was rough but incredible valuable! It can totally be done. :grouphug:

[HistoryMom]

Plenty of good suggestions, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents:

 

* Pick a subject and study the heck out of it, not for a class or any reason other than really wanting to know. I chose to self-study American history a few years back when I realized how horribly ignorant I was. Lots of reading, field trips, etc. It was great, and really engaged me.

 

* I worked in PR for years, so I can suggest that she spend some time getting immersed in whatever kind of industry she might want to work in. I did primarily business-to-business PR in the technology industry, so I'd have read up on technology news, trends in public relations, trends in news. Research and writing a blog and learning about electronic communications (Web sites, email marketing, etc.) is also a great idea.

 

* It's even more important for her than other teens to have a head start on learning to manage her life. Cooking, personal finance, early childhood development, time management methods, nutrition, careers, etc.

 

I guess the short version is, pick a topic and call it an independent study. :)

[Murmer]

These are the organizations in town that I know about:

The animal shelter (always looking for volunteers but she doesn't feel comfortable going there due to the pregnancy)

the food pantry (overwhelmed with volunteers and you have to apply to try to get a position)

the library - again, more volunteers than they know what to do with

pregnancy center - too many volunteers

 

She can't do meals on wheels because she and I have to share a vehicle and I need it to get back and forth to work each morning.

 

The agencies around here tend to have an abundance of volunteers (due to an aging population) but a lack of resources.

 

---

We have discussed volunteering in a nursing home but the smells make her nauseated and she tends to get sick. She is hoping her odor sensitivity decreases now that she is in the second trimester.

 

Can you give me ideas for other agencies?

 

The thought I had is based off something the adoption agency we used does that maybe your daughter could adapt to fit her situation...but the adoption agency has a group for young women who have placed or are planning to place.

Perhaps your daughter could help form a group for young ladies (say HS to 24 married, single, dating, inclusive) that are parenting or planning to parent. Then that group could work together to develop important skills for parenting like cooking, sewing baby things, knitting/crocheting...but also serve as a time to talk about what being a young mother is like and the fears and joys each of them has. Like a due date club but in real life with other young ladies.

 

ETA: She might be able to get help organizing it through the pregancy center, and have a social worker/nurse/? help with the group.

[LuvingLife]

Does she enjoy music? I find music can take away a lot of stress and keeps people very busy.

 

Photography, painting, sewing, knitting there are so many options for your daughter!:)

 

God Bless you, your family, your daughter, and the baby! :grouphug:

[Dmmetler]

Well, if she were in my area, I'd suggest she come intern with me and do the Kindermusik training class over the summer. Lots of good child development information for babies, a chance to meet other women who have young children, many of whom are college students since I'm at a University, and I can ALWAYS use an extra pair of hands-and teaching a class or two with a baby is very doable (I went from teaching full-time to teaching 2 KM classes a week when DD6 was an infant), as is teaching a couple of classes while a college student.

Edited June 11, 2011 by dmmetler

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Thank you, ladies, for all of the wonderful suggestions.

 

We had a chat this afternoon and we discussed a variety of ideas. She said she would think about it.

She did agree upon taking over meal planning and grocery shopping for me. Yeah me!!

[Hannah C.]

Does she like to read? I read a lot over summers, and in the roughly two months between finishing my degree and having dd. She can also read the parenting/childcare/childbirth/pregnancy books, if she likes, and start researching what she wants to do with all of that. :)

 

Could she do online classes now, somewhere?

 

I think she's very wise to postpone her college enrollment until after she has her baby. I had a friend who unexpectedly got pregnant, and had her baby the second semester of her senior year. She graduated, but I know it was difficult. Will your dd be going to that school in the spring, or will she have to attend a different school?

 

Married students are independent for FAFSA purposes. If at some point she was in a position to be married but still in college, it would probably benefit her financial-aid wise, as your income would no longer be considered.

 

I wasn't quite in your dd's situation - I was married and a senior in college when I found out I was pregnant - but I can relate to some of it. Anyway, if she wants someone to talk to who's been there recently and is close to her age she's welcome to talk to me. :grouphug: to her!