How do I give each child adequate time?

[Melinda]

I am struggling with this.

 

Jared will be 8 in June and needs constant oversight to accomplish anything other than playing around. Even with me sitting right next to him, if I turn to help someone else for a few seconds, he will either start drawing comic books or find some other disobedient thing to do.

 

Hannah is 6 1/2 and does a lot of things independently, but still needs me to sit with her to teach math and spelling.

 

I am able to teach the two of them and find adequate time to get it all in, however poor Nathan is not getting the attention he needs because Jared takes up so much of my time.

 

Nathan turned 4 at the end of March and loves to read, do math, etc. He asks me daily to "do school" with him but by the time I am finished with the older two my patience is shot and I don't do it with him.

 

We will have a new baby in the middle of June, so I do not see this getting easier anytime soon.

 

With kids this young and close in age, how do I make sure they all get what they need as far as amounts of time go?

 

Thanks!

[kristinannie]

This is something I am worried about as well. I am looking forward to hearing other BDTD mothers' advice. Please know that I will send some prayers your way and ask God to give you the grace to handle your situation! Hang in there!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Do you combine the older two for anything? Like Science or history? That would be one suggestion. There are alot of curricula out there that help with this with grade appropriate activities. Then I would suggest giving 1 child recess while helping another, then switching. My 5 year old does school with his oldest sister at the moment in the evenings :blushing: BUT she loves to help so I feel a little less guilty :001_smile:. My recommendations would be to combine where you can then switch "mom time" among the other kids. Like lets say Hannah gets one on one time from 10:30-11:30 or 12, lunch then Jared gets from 1-2 or 1-2:30 of 1on1 time then its recess for him. Would something like that work? Then Nathan gets before Hannah or after Jared. THEN come together for combined subjects. Obviously you would have to tweak times and amounts to meet YOUR kids needs but thats an idea. We did that when my girls were younger, and my boys are a year apart so we will be combining them for everything but math, phonics/english & handwriting and I am working on a similar schedule to that for them.

[sewpeaceful]

I only have some ideas to help because I am in the thick of it myself.

 

1. Combine subjects where you can. Both kids do SOTW, Elemental Science and Bible together. My brand new 9yo writes 3 sentences for her narration while my 6.5yo copies 1 sentence.

 

2. Rotate the kids during waking hours. I will work with the oldest on math and get her started while the younger two enjoy a few minutes of cartoons (don't shoot me for Playhouse Disney). Once I get the oldest started, I call my 6yo in and get him started. I then sit and keep prodding the oldest while keeping an eye on the middle. My youngest gets 30 minutes of Disney and I don't feel bad. For the poster that posted they have a 4yo, get a Kumon math workbook (numbers, counting, dot to dot, etc) and then call in the 4yo and start working with him/her. Yes, it is juggling at its finest.

 

3. On subjects that require my full attention like WWE3, I have my middle go play with the youngest and teach the oldest. With my full attention, the lesson doesn't take more than 10 minutes or so. Now, send oldest to play with youngest and call in middle for FLL or whatever.

 

4. Subjects like science and history are left for naptime or quiet time.

 

5. Never forget the wisdom in having certain toys that only come out during school time for your youngest.

 

6. I confess my 2 yo will be receiving a copy of the Jumpstart Toddler CD computer game in her "school box" in the fall and I don't make any apolgies for it.

 

7. I've been known to bribe the older two, "If you can get your grammar done on your own while I play with your sister, we'll...." and sometimes it is just a mandate with the threat of dad.

 

8. There is no shame in 1 video class for 1 subject just to ease some burden if it is in budget.

 

9. Occassionally, I wake my oldest at 6:30 to get some school done before the house wakes up. Then I am at a loss because we have SO much leftover time that day! She works SO much faster without brother and sister distracting her.

 

It is a juggling game all day. It gets done.

 

I have also read to have one of the olders read to the youngest, have the distractible one teach a lesson (keeps them focused and helps you out).

 

Remember this is a season and you will survive it and so will they.

[Melinda]

Do you combine the older two for anything? Like Science or history? That would be one suggestion. There are alot of curricula out there that help with this with grade appropriate activities. Then I would suggest giving 1 child recess while helping another, then switching. My 5 year old does school with his oldest sister at the moment in the evenings :blushing: BUT she loves to help so I feel a little less guilty :001_smile:. My recommendations would be to combine where you can then switch "mom time" among the other kids. Like lets say Hannah gets one on one time from 10:30-11:30 or 12, lunch then Jared gets from 1-2 or 1-2:30 of 1on1 time then its recess for him. Would something like that work? Then Nathan gets before Hannah or after Jared. THEN come together for combined subjects. Obviously you would have to tweak times and amounts to meet YOUR kids needs but thats an idea. We did that when my girls were younger, and my boys are a year apart so we will be combining them for everything but math, phonics/english & handwriting and I am working on a similar schedule to that for them.

 

We do combine everything except math and language arts. I have tried having a staggered schedule like what you mention and it makes an awfully long day for me, though everyone else has short days. Right now, I have Jared working with me while Hannah does independent stuff and then flip-flopping them. Jared tends to take hours (literally) to do what should take 5-10 min to do - not because it is too hard, but because he is bored and doesn't feel like doing anything. I have tried saying that we do math (or whatever) for X amount of time and then we move on, regardless of how much we have accomplished that day. Hannah will get it done and Jared is very happy to sit and stare at the wall for however long without doing anything. That is why we are doing a specific amount of work rather than a specific amount of time, but boy does my frustration level rise as the day wears on.

[sewpeaceful]

Hannah will get it done and Jared is very happy to sit and stare at the wall for however long without doing anything. That is why we are doing a specific amount of work rather than a specific amount of time, but boy does my frustration level rise as the day wears on.

 

Are you sure our two oldest don't share a brain? Lol. I feel your frustration.

 

Have you tried waking him early so you can give him 100% focus to just get it done?

[Melinda]

Maybe they do share a brain...haha

 

I wake him up early to finish the previous day's work if he hasn't finished it on the day it is due. He hates this and will sit and cry because he did not want to get up early. We have also started having Saturday school for anybody who does not get their work done during the week.

[Evergreen Academy]

Boy do I hear you! I have had several learners like your Jared, the youngest of which is by far the most distractable and liable to take hours to do his work. You have received some great advice, but I will share the biggest things that have helped here.

 

1 - Habit formation. This the THE BIGGEST thing we have had to work on in our homeschool, and I believe, the most important thing for us to work on before anything else (good) can happen. The habits we help our children develop, or the ones they develop on their own, are the things that will help our homeschool run smoothly, or drag on and be fraught with tension. (Simply Charlotte Mason sells a book called Laying Down the Rails that details this - a worthwhile purchase.)

 

For example, when ds#5 was 7, that he moaned, threw himself down and carried on whenever it was time to do his schoolwork. He dawdled and got distracted, and I allowed it because we had a younger child I was distracted by, not to mention email and the two older children I was schooling. Looking back, I realized he'd been doing this since K, and I had allowed this habit. Yes, by nature he doesn't like to work hard and is easily discouraged and some subjects are more challenging for him, BUT, he still needed to learn the habit of doing his work quietly (if not cheerfully) when asked, we like to say, "everything as unto the Lord." I needed to learn the habit of following through whenever I asked him to do anything, to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to.

 

Littest ds7 is the most distractable child I have ever had, and I have had to work extra hard on teaching him to stay put and carry through with his work. I realized that when he took an hour to do a math lesson, he was perfecting the habit of dawdling. When he began to dawdle, I gave him a warning that he could finish the lesson now, or we would put it away and take out another subject - BUT - we would come back to this lesson today and he would need to finish it. If he still dawdled, we'd take out a lesson as different from the first as possible - say it was math, we'd switch to him reading to me.

 

It has been extra work for me to stay with him or nearby to make sure he carries through (so I feel for you!), but I am seeing fruit, hooray! Perhaps you can think of a habit or two that might help Jared stay on track, and give you more time for the others. Other things that have helped these guys are,

 

2. Short lessons and curriculum geared to their learning styles. Littlest was taking hours to do math, and nothing was sticking. Finally, we found Math U See, and it is clicking with his learning style and need for visual and kinesthetic learning materials. Lessons are now 15-20 minutes long and he is retaining, phew, finally!

 

For other subjects, I have had to change curriculum at times or be creative to make sure our goals are met, whether or not it looks like I thought it would. Child can't sit through long stories? What other classic lit would work, maybe back a level? LA lessons too "boring"? Would doing copywork from a reader and illustrating it, then pointing out and discussing the noun/verb, whatever, serve the same purpose? I also need to make sure my wigglers have time to move around between lessons, even if it is something like taking out the dog or carrying a basket of laundry upstairs - wake up those muscles and use some energy! Making these types of changes has actually shortened our schoolday and allowed me more time with each child.

 

With littlest, we are now reading through several pieces of classic literature and Aesop's Fables, and I'm requiring narrations to make sure he is attending. Our little English book (Primary Language Lessons) seems to appeal to his sensibilities, and the copywork and dictation we are doing requires short lessons and I allow him to illustrate each lesson.

 

With an older son who was once like this, I had capitalized on his interest in wildlife and wrapped many of our lessons around this. If he could study about turtles, draw them and write several sentences about them, I considered that several subjects accomplished. Lastly,

 

3. Bribery. :001_smile: I know it was mentioned before, for good reason, LOL. It works. Our bribery is small, but effective. After ds 7 has accomplished three of his subjects, he is allowed a "yummy earth" pop I bought in bulk from Amazon - all natural, no preservatives, artificial things, etc. I also might allow him an "educational turn" on the computer for 20 minutes, or some time to play with playdough. If he has dawdled and required a lot of correction, I will let him know he hasn't earned these things today. It seems to work with this little one.

 

I know this is a busy season, and you are doing a great job of working with everyone. Remember that they are still young, and being together, being outside and playing by noon, and doing life together counts for much.

[Melinda]

Thanks, Aimee. You mentioned some things I had not thought of. As it is now, I have the kids fill out a hundred number chart (they get to color one square for each thing they do, such as spell a word on their list correctly, do one side of one page in math or cursive, etc). They also get points for doing things like cleaning their rooms and going to bed without issue. Once they fill the chart, they get $1. Having them earn fun breaks for good behavior is a good idea and I will be trying it for sure.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Well, I'll tell you what I have to do to give adequate attention to 5 dc. I have to accept the fact that I chose to do this and so I have to deal with constantly being "on" and having extremely long days. I can't start the day with the mindset of "getting done" because then I spend the whole day focusing on checking off those boxes instead of enjoying teaching my dc. I actively teach for 6 to 7 hours a day. There is no other way around it with a lot of dc. When we are doing school my day starts at 7 and I don't get time to myself until about 8 at night when the 2yo goes to bed. I've tried rearranging the day 100 different ways and I just can't get past having to teach all day long unless I make more subjects independent work and I'm just not willing to do that with most subjects, especially with my younger dc.

 

My older dc spend a lot of time with the 2yo during the day and I feel bad about the fact that it isn't me playing puzzles or blocks with her but there is no other way around it and I just have to make sure I spend a lot of time with her after dinner and in the morning before we actually start school. I also spend time with her at lunch during my 30 minute "break".

 

One thing that drove me nuts this year was trying to have ds5 work independently for awhile while I worked with dd8 and then swapping. It was too stressful making sure he kept working or that he had something else to do if he finished quickly. I just stopped doing it that way and starting teaching them their skill subjects in a block of time while the other one got to go play or could draw while listening to an audio book. It was less stressful for me and for them. I still did their content subjects together though. As they get older it will be easier for me to give an assignment and they work independently but when they are little its just easier to do it one at a time even if it makes your day longer.

 

I think looking at homeschooling as a profession helps. If you had a career outside of the home you would be working\gone from the house for 9 or more hours a day then you would come home and have to put in another 4 to 5 hours to keep your house clean, family taken care of, homework done... However, with homeschooling you get the perk of being able to take a day or two, or three off whenever you need a break.

[missmoe]

When my middle child was just a bit older than your 4 year old, I did school in bed with him. I kept his pile of books next to my bed, and in the morning after nursing babies he got to come climb in bed with me. We spent 30-45 minutes on school time. He loved being able to get in bed with me, and school got done 3 or 4 times a week.

 

Perhaps, something like that would work for you with your little one.

[Critterfixer]

Everything Evergreen Academy said: :iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

So much strife goes away when children have rules that they can obey. It's like getting up in the morning and having your clothes all laid out, breakfast made and a personal planner making sure you have your list of things for the day all prepared. It brings order to chaos, and as strange as it might seem, it also allows for extra flexibility in the schedule. You'd think it wouldn't. But it really does.

 

I'm getting that book. I'm implementing things here that are unique to the situation, but I'd like more training on creating good habits for the whole family.

 

I think it is also important the rules set are obey-able for the children. Obviously a five year old might not be able to comprehend or do things that an eight year old is capable of; but I've been surprised at just how much my seven-year old boys can and want to be able to do.

Edited May 10, 2011 by Critterfixer

[Tracy]

Well, I only have one that I am schooling, along with a toddler, so take this FWIW. But I have had some problems with things just taking way too long, and I have found some curriculum changes and tweaking have helped immensely. For math, I changed from a workbook-style program to a lecture/manipulative-style program. Now I know that this sounds counterintuitive, but doing so has helped so much. Before, I would be sitting next to dd and trying to keep her on task, and every time I had to tend to ds, she would do nothing. Now, I am actively teaching dd, and sometimes ds joins in. And I recently realized that I can also teach while the kids are eating. (I hadn't realized just how much time my kids spend eating!) Anyway, it is more fun for everyone, and I no longer feel like I am leaving ds out. I also have a box of school things for him to do while I am teaching.

 

With spelling, we use a program that requires dictation, and it was taking 45 minutes to spell just 10 words. I made a very small adjustment to the routine by omitting the sentences that illustrate the words. They were very distracting for dd, and she would go off on tangents and try to create her own sentence, and that took so much time. This change has reduced teaching time to only about 20-30 minutes.

 

So I would say take a look at the programs you are using and how you are using them--perhaps get some outside opinions, something these boards are great for. Maybe you can find ways to shave off time on what you are doing or maybe your ds will be more engaged and self-motivated with a different program.

[SonshineLearner]

Well, I have to admit that I only have 1 now to teach. BUT, I would say that I'd think about disobedient, versus distracted. My 7 year old, that is just a couple weeks younger than yours... is a good hearted child, but in no way will stay on track... if there are distractions.

Perhaps if you think about what HAS to be done. I want him to LOVE history... and so we do history by putting History...SOTW in the van and listening... (with more kids.. even better... quiet... yay!!) If the littles are too loud for this... do it with headphones for whoever will listen.

Handwriting, do instead of a nap??

Literature... read books to all... or silent reading... or I have my son listen to books from ones I've downloaded. At night... my husband reads a couple chapters of a read a loud... and then my son listens to more cds... I have lots of Jim Weiss cds...

Math... I know where we are in math... and do a lot of asking questions during the day... if I can... and am now trying to get through Singapore 2A and B... from now till the beginning of next year... so we can move on :)

Science... I push him outside and have him watch Science videos... read Science books...

 

If asked, I say that I don't really do much school right now... and well... I know I don't compared to most?? We don't do hours of school... we just mosey along....

 

I think you may be shooting a bit too high attention wise... Just have little independent goals for him... and then do "family school/one room school house" for the rest... would be my thoughts :) I LOVE cds.... and doing school when they're "caught"... (driving/rest time/night time)

 

:)

[alpidarkomama]

My kids are 8, 6, 5, and 3-1/2. This is how we do it, so everyone gets time. :) The 3-year-old floats around the house, playing with whoever isn't occupied, joining in on the everyone times and being read to by older siblings.

 

10-11:00, everyone for Jewish studies

11:00-11:30, DD5 and DS6 for reading/math

11:30-12:45, DD7 for secular studies

1:30-2:30, everyone for science or history

2:30-3:00, DD5 and DS6 for Hebrew

3:00-4:00, DD7 for Hebrew/torah study

 

The times are estimates, of course. In reality, we start anytime between 9:30 and 10:30. :) In the evenings before bed we also do readaloud books. Everyone seems pretty happy with this!

[NancyNellen]

I agree with much of what has been said already. Boys that age can be very distractable, but disobedience should not be tolerated. I would definitely work on habit training with your oldest...explain the expectations ("I expect you to copy this sentence by the time the timer goes off in x minutes. If it is not finished, you will lose 'x' blessing/privilege.") Then set the timer and leave him. If he's anything like my kids he will not enjoy losing privileges and will start to buckle down. The timer is an invaluable tool!

 

I also agree with the poster who said this is what we signed up for and we need to acknowledge that long days for us can, and probably should, be normal - at least until our children are capable of working more independently.

 

As I become a more experienced homeschooler I realize that positive habit-forming in those early years is so important for smooth and successful middle and high school years. More important, frankly, than the content itself! I wish I had spent more time on diligence, perseverance, and patience in those early years.

 

HTH,

[boscopup]

Nathan turned 4 at the end of March and loves to read, do math, etc. He asks me daily to "do school" with him but by the time I am finished with the older two my patience is shot and I don't do it with him.

 

I'm listening in on this thread, as I will eventually be schooling 3 that are 2.5 years apart, but for now, it's just one officially and a second one unofficially.

 

I wanted to comment on the 4 year old though, as I didn't see anyone mention this, and it was something I picked up on these boards from some other thread long ago... Have you tried schooling the 4 year old FIRST? Just 10 minutes is all you need. I sometimes do this with my 4 year old who wants to "do school". We'll have 10 minutes of a math lesson (which we can do with toddler running around), then he can go off and play, having done his school. :) I then start with my 6 year old and do most of the 3Rs. We take a break until after lunch, put the toddler down for a nap, and if the 4 year old isn't doing a nap, he does a reading lesson for about 10 minutes before his brother does spelling. We do both at the white board, so 4 year old is content with having "done school" yet again, because he got to go first. I was in a good mood because he was my first one to school (and really, with a 4 year old, you need ALL the patience you can muster to do any teaching :lol:).

 

My 6 year old dawdles sometimes too, and I've been trying to nip that in the bud. Sometimes I will tell him that if he doesn't work at a good pace, I'll start ADDING work. It won't be work that he does later that night or in the morning, both of which are just a bit too far away to make that big a difference. It will be work right now. In fact, I'll probably add copywork, his most hated subject. ;) So yes, you need to train the dawdling out of him, as I'm trying to do with my son. It's a process. It won't fix itself overnight, but with consistent work, we should overcome it.... I think. :) I do try to break subjects up. Like if we have a lot of problems in math, we'll do half of it first, then switch to a non-writing subject, then come back to finish the math. This usually goes over well.

[Guest jab300]

Lots of great advice here. I thought I had it rough when I was schooling three at once lol. Even now with two (1st grade and 4th grade) it is difficult to find time for everyone and especially to keep everyone on task. We combine subjects, and I do most one-on-one schooling with the 6yo first as he gets up earliest. I have had to change curriculum quite a few times to find something that really fit and was compatible with my 10yo...he seems to do best with short, daily lessons.

[Evergreen Academy]

Thanks, Aimee. You mentioned some things I had not thought of. As it is now, I have the kids fill out a hundred number chart (they get to color one square for each thing they do, such as spell a word on their list correctly, do one side of one page in math or cursive, etc). They also get points for doing things like cleaning their rooms and going to bed without issue. Once they fill the chart, they get $1. Having them earn fun breaks for good behavior is a good idea and I will be trying it for sure.

 

Melinda, great ideas, especially if they work with your kids! My ds10 is sitting at my side, saying he wishes he got $1 to go to bed, LOL, perhaps he should not read over my shoulder.:001_smile: I just wanted to mention that for my ds8, the rewards need to be fairly immediate to be very effective with him; too much time going by before he earns a promised something, and he loses focus. I tried longer-term reward systems like you describe, and he wasn't as successful as he has been when he can earn small rewards throughout the day.

 

Kids are all so different, and I'm so thankful for this forum, where we can learn from each other!

[Ritsumei]

Simply Charlotte Mason sells a book called Laying Down the Rails that details this - a worthwhile purchase.

 

I've got this book and second the suggestion! Another one is "Christlike Parenting."

 

3. Bribery. :001_smile: I know it was mentioned before, for good reason, LOL. It works. Our bribery is small, but effective.

 

 

I agree, only I don't think "bribery" is the right word for it. Bribery, to me, is more like the whining Mom of the out-of-control kid at the grocery store: "If you'll stop ___ I'll get you a candy bar," only the kid knows perfectly well that they'll get the candy bar regardless. What this is is more paying him: giving him something that he finds important enough to work for in exchange for doing something that is important to you. I find it to be an extremely effective way to get a habit started. As adults, we know "what's in it for me" before we work, or we don't do it. We go to work to get paid, we clean the house for the pleasure of having a clean house, we teach our children because we understand the impact on their future. Kids need to see what's in it for them, and sometimes they need to be paid. Bribery is counter-productive. Paying kids can be very productive and doesn't need to be apologized for, IMO.

[Sahamamama]

Jared tends to take hours (literally) to do what should take 5-10 min to do - not because it is too hard, but because he is bored and doesn't feel like doing anything. Jared is very happy to sit and stare at the wall for however long without doing anything. That is why we are doing a specific amount of work rather than a specific amount of time, but boy does my frustration level rise as the day wears on.

 

I think this might end up being counterproductive for you. These spacey, doodly boys get so used to being pushed by mom/teacher that their internal motivation toward self-discipline and self-education never develops (or blooms very late). For years, I tutored these boys, and they were all the same. Each boy would wait for every little move to be dictated by the one in charge. :glare: Grrrr. Each boy's mother would bemoan, "I have to stand over him, and push him and push him, for every single homework problem, every night!" Homework sessions would drag on and on and on, to the point of interfering with active play, outdoor time, creative time, free time, reading time.... :tongue_smilie:

 

There is a better way, IMO. When I worked with these kids, I used to think, "These boys need shorter work days. They need consistent, but short, very short lessons, short school days, and a 4-day work week, all year round." But they were ps kids, so that wasn't going to happen for them.

 

You, however, could bless your son with more time to mature, more time for his brain to connect enough to allow him to focus on academic work. You could bless him with shorter lessons, shorter "work days," and a shorter "work week." If he were mine, I would train him to intensely focus on academics for one hour each day, because one focused hour is better than three or four unfocused hours, and this teaches better work habits.

 

I would give him one hour of focused teaching time, without any distractions (his or mine), working only on the most basic academics, then SET HIM FREE TO BE A BOY. He can fill up the rest of his day with assigned chores, hard physical work (let him dig, whether you need a garden or not, LOL), audio books, the History Channel (or similar), LEGOS (or similar), music (listening), access to art materials, photography, hobbies, free reading, games, math manipulatives, pets, science kits, family time, gardening, biking, MUCH active outdoor play time, and a daily/almost daily nap/quiet time.

 

What do you put into that daily academic hour? Only academics. If you pare it down to the essentials for this child, he does not need "school" to consist of 20 subjects. Just three: (1) Math; (2) Writing & Spelling; (3) Latin (or Grammar), plus Read Alouds and that Full-Life List (above).

 

Try this for two years, and then reassess him when he's ten. Hopefully, he will have matured enough to focus on academic work without the constant prodding. When he can focus well for one hour, begin moving towards two hours. I don't think that "needing to be prodded" is a good habit to get started in a boy who doesn't manage himself well during school time. He needs maturing time to grow into better self-management skills. If you do it all for him now, he might still be like this at 13 or beyond. :glare: If at ten he's still a total space cadet, then ask your husband to start talking to him about how good men have to learn to focus on their work, how good men have to manage themselves and make themselves do what has to be done, and all that good male talk. :) We had to do this with my nephew when he was ten (he's now 13), he heard that whole "This is your life, it's up to you to do something with it" speech. LOL.

 

This is just my theory, but I think the "driftiness" is a boy's brain's way of saying, "I need more time before I'm put to work in that particular way." But his brain can be put to work in other, possibly more productive ways, in addition to short, consistent sessions of focused academic work. I hope all that made some sense. ;)

 

If he's drifting every 30 seconds, I would watch him and maybe have him evaluated by a pediatric neurologist. Your son sounds so much like my nephew, and he is like that when he's having absence seizures. HTH. :grouphug:

Edited May 10, 2011 by Sahamamama

[Melinda]

That makes total sense, Sahamamama. My daughter has absence seizures and her neuro has never mentioned noticing symptoms in Jared when she was with him but I will make an appointment. You make a good point about him needing to just "be a boy", especially at this age.

[2squared]

I think this might end up being counterproductive for you. These spacey, doodly boys get so used to being pushed by mom/teacher that their internal motivation toward self-discipline and self-education never develops (or blooms very late). For years, I tutored these boys, and they were all the same. Each boy would wait for every little move to be dictated by the one in charge. :glare: Grrrr. Each boy's mother would bemoan, "I have to stand over him, and push him and push him, for every single homework problem, every night!" Homework sessions would drag on and on and on, to the point of interfering with active play, outdoor time, creative time, free time, reading time.... :tongue_smilie:

 

There is a better way, IMO. When I worked with these kids, I used to think, "These boys need shorter work days. They need consistent, but short, very short lessons, short school days, and a 4-day work week, all year round." But they were ps kids, so that wasn't going to happen for them.

 

You, however, could bless your son with more time to mature, more time for his brain to connect enough to allow him to focus on academic work. You could bless him with shorter lessons, shorter "work days," and a shorter "work week." If he were mine, I would train him to intensely focus on academics for one hour each day, because one focused hour is better than three or four unfocused hours, and this teaches better work habits.

 

I would give him one hour of focused teaching time, without any distractions (his or mine), working only on the most basic academics, then SET HIM FREE TO BE A BOY. He can fill up the rest of his day with assigned chores, hard physical work (let him dig, whether you need a garden or not, LOL), audio books, the History Channel (or similar), LEGOS (or similar), music (listening), access to art materials, photography, hobbies, free reading, games, math manipulatives, pets, science kits, family time, gardening, biking, MUCH active outdoor play time, and a daily/almost daily nap/quiet time.

 

What do you put into that daily academic hour? Only academics. If you pare it down to the essentials for this child, he does not need "school" to consist of 20 subjects. Just three: (1) Math; (2) Writing & Spelling; (3) Latin (or Grammar), plus Read Alouds and that Full-Life List (above).

 

Try this for two years, and then reassess him when he's ten. Hopefully, he will have matured enough to focus on academic work without the constant prodding. When he can focus well for one hour, begin moving towards two hours. I don't think that "needing to be prodded" is a good habit to get started in a boy who doesn't manage himself well during school time. He needs maturing time to grow into better self-management skills. If you do it all for him now, he might still be like this at 13 or beyond. :glare:

 

This is just my theory, but I think the "driftiness" is a boy's brain's way of saying, "I need more time before I'm put to work in that particular way." But his brain can be put to work in other, possibly more productive ways, in addition to short, consistent sessions of focused academic work. I hope all that made some sense. ;)

 

If he's drifting every 30 seconds, I would watch him and maybe have him evaluated by a pediatric neurologist. Your son sounds so much like my nephew, and he is like that when he's having absence seizures. HTH. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: When we have short, focused lessons, we make consistent progress. When lessons drag on and the dc aren't applying themselves, I know we are establishing bad habits and ironically, our effectiveness decreases. So, I am a huge fan of shorter, to-the-point seatwork.

[carriecs]

 

I would give him one hour of focused teaching time, without any distractions (his or mine), working only on the most basic academics, then SET HIM FREE TO BE A BOY. He can fill up the rest of his day with assigned chores, hard physical work (let him dig, whether you need a garden or not, LOL), audio books, the History Channel (or similar), LEGOS (or similar), music (listening), access to art materials, photography, hobbies, free reading, games, math manipulatives, pets, science kits, family time, gardening, biking, MUCH active outdoor play time, and a daily/almost daily nap/quiet time.

 

What do you put into that daily academic hour? Only academics. If you pare it down to the essentials for this child, he does not need "school" to consist of 20 subjects. Just three: (1) Math; (2) Writing & Spelling; (3) Latin (or Grammar), plus Read Alouds and that Full-Life List (above).

 

I just had to post to thank you for this, Sahamamama! I foolishly carry this weight of feeling guilty that I'm not doing the best I could for my boys with our homeschooling. I feel guilty and protective that if our seated school time is added up it is, well, quite short. The quoted part of your response sounds very similar to our school days. Thank you so much for helping me see that when my boys have all this "free time" I am actually setting them free to be the boys they are meant to be! I love the wisdom and encouragement that is so easily found on these boards!