mommymilkies Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 LONG. Sorry! We have had a rocky road to homeschooling. I wanted to hs, dh did NOT. My oldest went 1/2 a year at a public Kindergarten and we pulled her. She was bullied, bored, and her teachers kept complaining that she had to "slow down" because she was reading novels and they didn't even start the alphabet (in class) until January. The kids like homeschooling but once in awhile they'll ask about going to "real school". We have moved a lot and we now live in a tiny town that is very exclusive. Almost everyone here is related to each other and a couple other transplants I know joke about not having our "membership cards". And it's true. It's all word of mouth. But I can't find a secular homeschooling group at all within hours, and the only way to find out (no joke) about baseball, activities, anything is through the school system. We live literally across the street from an awesome Catholic school. But we do not vaccinate and even though they get some State funding, they do not easily allow exemptions. Plus it would be $500+ a month for the kids to go there. I really want to homeschool but it does make me increasingly sad to see how hard it is for my kids to make friends or to be involved in this town at all. The school here does not allow partial enrollment, and my kids are already in Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics, piano, violin, softball, and baseball. So they do get some socialization, but the other kids won't befriend mine because they aren't in the same class at school. We did not have this problem in the last area in which we lived. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing. It would be easier in some regards just to put them in the school, but our school here is so, so, so bad. Very overcrowded with massive teacher layoffs, a terrible job with educating the children (my dh teaches some high school and college students in his teaching position and assures me of this)...But then I fear about the gaps my own children will have. Can someone reassure me or tell me how to go about religious exemptions at the Catholic school so they can do partial enrollment. I know they do this sometimes there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 If the PS there is as bad as you say it is then it would not be an option for me. If the children attended the Catholic school that you mentioned would you need to sacrifice some extra-curriculars or make other sacrifices to cover the cost? That might be a consideration for you. How far is it to the next town? Is it possible that you might find other homeschoolers to network with outside of your immediate area? You said that you cannot find a secular HSing group -- what about a religiously-affiliated one? They are not my first choice, even though we are Christians, but I am willing to consider them socialization options are limited, and have never found myself excluded from one despite our differences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 But we do not vaccinate and even though they get some State funding, they do not easily allow exemptions. Plus it would be $500+ a month for the kids to go there. Can someone reassure me or tell me how to go about religious exemptions at the Catholic school so they can do partial enrollment. I know they do this sometimes there. IIRC some recommended vaccinations have something to do with aborted fetal tissue (sorry, I'm not Catholic so I don't know the specifics, only what I've heard offhand) so that in and of itself would hopefully fly as a religious exemption for some vaccinations ... most especially at a Catholic school, one would think. I don't know if the exemptions are an all/nothing deal; that is - can you say you're religiously opposed to ALL vaccines, or would the Catholic school still want you to vaccinate with those vaccines that don't qualify for their religious exemption ...? If your state allows religious exemptions, wouldn't the school need to adhere to that - even if they make it difficult for you to eventually attend unvaccinated? Does your state allow philosophical exemptions? :grouphug: Moving is hard, and it sounds like your new community has been most unwelcoming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Do you have friends? Do you talk to the moms at gymnastics, baseball, etc? Do you volunteer to help with competitions, parties and award ceremonies? If you want your kids to have friends, you're going to have to make friends with the moms of the other kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merry Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 it's not always possible in every situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Maybe a crazy question, but have you thought about why you'd send your kids to a Catholic school, but not join a hs group that is "Christian"? Just a thought... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I'm just wondering, how religious is the homeschool group? Have you tried some of the gatherings? Ours is stated to be but we don't stand around and talk about our faith. We just talk the regular mom and homeschool topics. You might give that one more go before the expense of the Catholic school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) The kids don't want to go to "school" and I don't want them to, either. It's just so hard to fit in and make friends otherwise. We would have to cut everything to put them in the Catholic school. I was a Girl Scout leader last year, but again I was ignored. I even had another co-leader tell me about all the things they said behind my back about how they doubt I'd be good because of my age and since I was not "known" around here, even though I've known two of the leaders (who work with dh) for over 6 years! The girls themselves were great, but our troop broke up after some crazy administrative BS. Edited June 22, 2013 by mommymilkies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Unfortunately, there may not be a "just right" solution for your family right now. It doesn't sound like the public school is a good option. Even though your kiddos might (probably) make some friends, the poor quality of the education would be unaccaptable. It sounds like the homeschool support groups are unacceptable as well. Have you considered starting a secular or non-religious one of your own? Maybe just a Yahoo group to start with to see if you can connect with like-minded folks? I would contact the Catholic school to feel them out a bit about part-time attendance or even full time. Just ask them if they have a policy in place and see how flexible they are. Sometimes they need the tuition. Possibly you could ask for a tour? Best of luck. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 It can be hard to break down walls and break up cliques. It can be done, but I know it's hard. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 The group here is fundamentalist. I have family that is Catholic and am ok with it (and knowledgeable!). But in the fundamentalist group, last time we tried, I was told I had to acknowledge Jesus as savior (ummmm...I was raised Jewish) and that evolution can not be taught or discussed and we are big science people. The Catholics are ok with evolution, overall, so that works for me. I wouldn't have a problem with a religious group, usually. I love religions and finding out about other peoples', but the way this one was approached really put me off. . :glare: That's just crazy. I homeschool so that I can teach my children without being told what I can and cannot teach. So it totally makes sense that you wouldn't want to associate with them. I wouldn't want to either. I hope you find a nice place to settle in! :grouphug: It sounds like the Catholic school would be worth exploring for part time enrollment! Maybe you can send them over for recess? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Maybe now is just the time to socialize within the family and not worry about connecting with the people in the community so much. You have five kids, so they're not really lonely like an only child might be. They are also involved in group activities in their areas of interest. No need to dwell upon the things that are a bit less than perfect. Perhaps there are cousins you could invite to stay during vacations? Perhaps if you just do tons of fun things with the family (hiking, movies, amusement parks, whatever), you might come across families that enjoy the same activities as you. You can't force connections through group activities. Be patient, sometimes friends come along when you least expect them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Maybe now is just the time to socialize within the family and not worry about connecting with the people in the community so much. You have five kids, so they're not really lonely like an only child might be. They are also involved in group activities in their areas of interest. No need to dwell upon the things that are a bit less than perfect. Perhaps there are cousins you could invite to stay during vacations? Perhaps if you just do tons of fun things with the family (hiking, movies, amusement parks, whatever), you might come across families that enjoy the same activities as you. You can't force connections through group activities. Be patient, sometimes friends come along when you least expect them. That is a great way to look at it. Thank you, everyone. I think once the weather gets better and we get out more, things will get better. It's just so hard being isolated! I talked to a librarian the other day about starting a parents & children book club (like in Deconstructing Penguins) and maybe a chess club. I am sooooo not a leader-type. I like to be the Virgo behind the scenes making plans! But maybe that would help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Having lived in a town very much like that, going to school probably won't help. You still don't have the right last name, you aren't related to the right people and your great grandparents didn't grow up there. Town like that are bad places to live. :( It's almost impossible to be accepted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 My hubby grew up around the area that you are talking of. I think I even know which fundie group you are talking about. His whole family is from this denomination. Even though I am married into this family, and now share their last name, I am an outsider and shunned. If this is the same group, it wont matter, they are taught that outsiders, even other christian ones are to be avoided. I know that the population is very overrun around that area with this group, but surely you can find a small group of people that are not a part of this denomination? Even if they are of another, less exclusive one... I am sorry that you are having trouble meeting people...:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cat Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Decisions are never easy when they involve the ones we love so much. Sounds like you child is very advanced for kindergarten.... what about moving up a grade or two? Do a placement test and find out where she is academically and maybe they even offer honor classes? I homeschool..... once you find a few other home schoolers it will make all the difference in the world. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Having lived in a town very much like that, going to school probably won't help. You still don't have the right last name, you aren't related to the right people and your great grandparents didn't grow up there. Town like that are bad places to live. :( It's almost impossible to be accepted. Ditto...and ironically, my experience on that is also from a small town in Southern IL :glare: (one of the things that made me despise the midwest) My experience is that the "outside" kids (aka not from there, don't have money, not the right ethnicity, not the right family name, etc) get scapegoated by both students and teachers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 If you want to pursue getting an exemption from the Catholic school, here is a site that might be helpful: http://www.cogforlife.org/vaccineinfo.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauracolumbus Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 I haven't read all of the responses, but my dc went to Catholic school for the 1st 3 years (for my oldest-til 2d grade for my middle) and they've kept in touch w/their friends from that time, so even if you do put them in, you can always pull them out later and they hopefully could keep this friends. I've never heard of Catholic schools around here allowing partial enrollment (it's a complaint by many of my Catholic hs'ing friends). You're lucky for that option. I do know the school here routinely gives exemptions for vaccines. I had one friend who continued to volunteer for playground duty even after her kids were homeschooled so that they could hang out w/their friends. We still do sports, choir, etc w/our school, but it's b/c we're members of the parish. I would corner any like-minded mom and work my tail end off organizing all sorts of activities. It took me a while to get a group of friends after we moved to our current location, which sounds a lot like yours. Even now, I still feel sort of like the odd man out since I didn't grow up here, nor do I have 3 sisters living in the neighborhood willing to help out on a whim. Good luck, Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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