s/o Have you or your child ever been an au pair?

[Natalieclare]

If you have any experience, I have a few questions for you...just a few. ;)

 

*How did you get started?

 

*Are there agencies to be avoided?

 

*Were you comfortable or did you feel in over your head?

 

*How did you prepare for your experience?

 

*How long was your stint?

 

*Was it a positive experience?

 

*Do you keep in contact with the family?

 

*Would you do it over again?

 

*Where did you do it and how did you decide where?

 

*How fluently did you speak the language?

 

Just a few questions!

Edited April 25, 2011 by Natalieclare

[Rosie_0801]

Nope, but I think my cousin in France is still looking for someone over 21, with a drivers license if you know someone looking for a job. :tongue_smilie:

 

Rosie

[TeacherZee]

If you have any experience, I have a few questions for you...just a few. ;)

 

I was when I was 20.

 

*How did you get started?

I used the internet and found a site that looked okay

 

*Are there agencies to be avoided?

 

It's been 10 years so I don't know:001_smile:

 

*Were you comfortable or did you feel in over your head?

I was pretty comfortable but there were moments.

 

*How did you prepare for your experience?

 

I talked to the family but I should probably have done more

 

*How long was your stint?

 

4 months (that was the deal all along it was the summer before I went to college, yes I was older when I went to college, it is the way it is here as we start school later)

 

*Was it a positive experience?

 

It had its ups and downs

 

*Do you keep in contact with the family?

 

No. There are reasons if you want them feel free to PM me

 

*Would you do it over again?

hmmm...I would do a lot more asking of the family first if I did. And I would definitely go through an agency not what basically amounted to a craigs list ad:tongue_smilie:

 

*Where did you do it and how did you decide where?

 

I was in Scotland. I would feel more comfortable giving the reasons in a PM.

 

*How fluently did you speak the language?

 

I was fluent

 

Just a few questions!

 

My cousin has also had several au pairs over the years and I believe she has been mostly happy and I KNOW that they are in touch with at least some of them still. They've gone through agencies.

[Isabella]

My dd is just about to start a Nanny job tomorrow, so this all may not be relevant, but I'll put it out there anyway. It's a 10 week position while their regular nanny is away. We found it through an online agency, but it's based in Australia, so won't be any help for you. She's emailed them, and chatted on the phone several times, and also met them for an in-person interview.

My dd is only 17.5, but had 2 years experience in a Childcare Centre, and has what we call a Certificate lll in Children's Services, so for her age, quite qualified. This stint will be a step further along in her career choice, as she has sole care of a 2yr old during the day, and her 7yr old sister after school. After this she is planning to go to Germany and Nanny there. We are putting feelers out for positions among the church people we met when we went as a family 2 years ago. There are many professional families in Germany, and the use of Nannies is quite widespread. She doesn't want to Aupair, though, as she wants to do sole-care, and a fulltime position. Aupair is really as a helper, not very much sole care of children. Also it usually doesn't require full time work. And the pay is not great. In Germany, the accepted Aupair wage is 260 Euro per month, whereas Nanny jobs seem to advertise a pay rate of around 400+ Euro per WEEK. Her aim of going to Germany is to learn the language, so she will have very little language when going, but hopefully after a year there will be fluent.

Not sure that I've answered any questions satisfactorily, as it is only her future plans, not experience as such.

Edited April 25, 2011 by Isabella

[Natalieclare]

Nope, but I think my cousin in France is still looking for someone over 21, with a drivers license if you know someone looking for a job. :tongue_smilie:

 

Rosie

 

Drat! I do know someone looking for a job --my dd. Unfortunately she is only 18. But she does have a license! Are licenses only given to those over 21 in France?

 

My cousin has also had several au pairs over the years and I believe she has been mostly happy and I KNOW that they are in touch with at least some of them still. They've gone through agencies.

 

I'm glad to hear of some successes. The other thread didn't seem to mention too many of them. And please do pm me! I want all the nitty gritty!

 

My dd is just about to start a Nanny job tomorrow, so this all may not be relevant, but I'll put it out there anyway. It's a 10 week position while their regular nanny is away. We found it through an online agency, but it's based in Australia, so won't be any help for you. She's emailed them, and chatted on the phone several times, and also met them for an in-person interview.

My dd is only 17.5, but had 2 years experience in a Childcare Centre, and has what we call a Certificate lll in Children's Services, so for her age, quite qualified. This stint will be a step further along in her career choice, as she has sole care of a 2yr old during the day, and her 7yr old sister after school. After this she is planning to go to Germany and Nanny there. We are putting feelers out for positions among the church people we met when we went as a family 2 years ago. There are many professional families in Germany, and the use of Nannies is quite widespread. She doesn't want to Aupair, though, as she wants to do sole-care, and a fulltime position. Aupair is really as a helper, not very much sole care of children. Also it usually doesn't require full time work. And the pay is not great. In Germany, the accepted Aupair wage is 260 Euro per month, whereas Nanny jobs seem to advertise a pay rate of around 400+ Euro per WEEK. Her aim of going to Germany is to learn the language, so she will have very little language when going, but hopefully after a year there will be fluent.

Not sure that I've answered any questions satisfactorily, as it is only her future plans, not experience as such.

 

Well, keep us posted! I hope her experience is wonderful. My dd doesn't really want to do a long term thing. Our impression was that being an aupair is generally a shorter term situation, so it seemed like a better fit.

[ElizabethB]

If she just wants a short term job and to see a bit of Europe, she may want to consider being a mother's helper for a homeschooling family in Germany, there are several people here with connections to the American military homeschooling community in Germany.

[Momling]

We've had two au pairs and I've worked as a liaison between au pairs and host families in the U.S. Where is your child hoping to work?

I've seen amazing au pair - family experiences and horrible ones. It can be a tricky situation sometimes, but a great one at other times...

[MinivanMom]

If you have any experience, I have a few questions for you...just a few. ;)

I was an au pair for a summer when I was 20.

 

*How did you get started? I found a website and registered (kind of on a whim). I was emailed by a lady and then spoke to her on the phone several times to set up the situation.

 

*Are there agencies to be avoided? I think agencies are good in general and the way I did it was probably not too smart in hindsight. An agency will handle all of the visa legalities, stipulate maximum hours that may be worked, and even provide language school in some situations. I was very lucky that I went into a safe situation where everyone had been honest and such.

 

*Were you comfortable or did you feel in over your head? I was very comfortable in the situation, but I had a lot of childcare experience. It was not a perfect situation, though. One of the children was special needs, which could be overwhelming to many 20-year-olds. The parents were also in the midst of separating (but were still living together), so the home environment was sometimes tense when both parents were there.

 

*How did you prepare for your experience? I guess I didn't really.

 

*How long was your stint? I was there just for the summer.

 

*Was it a positive experience? Yes, very positive.

 

*Do you keep in contact with the family? I did for many years, but no longer do. I actually invited the mother to my wedding. She sent me some lovely silver napkin holders, but didn't actually fly all the way out.

 

*Would you do it over again? Yes, absolutely. Although if it were my own daughter, she would absolutely have to go through an agency.

 

*Where did you do it and how did you decide where? Ireland. I had registered for both UK and Ireland, but I think I would have been willing to go pretty much anywhere a situation presented itself.

 

*How fluently did you speak the language? Fluently.

 

Just a few questions!

 

I'm generally a fan, but I don't think it's for everyone. I was very independent and wasn't struggling to learn the language. It could be an overwhelming experience for someone that hasn't spent much time away from home.

[Stacy in NJ]

I dropped out of college during my sophomore year because my father had recently passed away and I couldn't raise enough money for tuition. I spent one year traveling in the U.K and Europe on a short-term college sponsored work visa. After I returned home, I still was unsure about what to do with my life so a took a job through an agency in NYC as a nanny. I grew up in Minnesota so the prospect of living in NYC was exciting. The job was challenging. My employers were a bit deceptive in how the initially described the job. I worked many more hours than I was "supppose" to and became very much the disciplinarian of the family. :001_smile: But, I was also very well compensated and had a enough free time to enroll part-time in college.

 

I suggest your dd ask a lot of questions. Try to choose a family whose values support or at least don't contridict those she's grown up with. She needs to be very clear about what is required of her - what her responsibilites are. And she needs to be able to advocate for herself if things aren't working out. I would only send a confident girl out to this type of job. People pleasers or non-confrontational/passive girls will be miserable.

 

Is she assertive, hardworking, and adaptable? If you can say 'yes' to those adjectives then - yes- working as an au pair or nanny may be a good idea.

[Rosie_0801]

Drat! I do know someone looking for a job --my dd. Unfortunately she is only 18. But she does have a license! Are licenses only given to those over 21 in France?

 

This is what my cousin had to say when I asked. English is her third language...

 

 

hehe, why not;))

it was last year one american girl with us...and we sad: newer

more...but, maby it was juste a bad number's girl...

maby thise one are diffetente...

but where is she from? when she want to came? she want to came in

europe for lern french?

 

I imagine if you can have a license in one country, you would be eligible for an international license, but I don't know.

 

Rosie

[Natalieclare]

This is what my cousin had to say when I asked. English is her third language...

 

 

hehe, why not;))

it was last year one american girl with us...and we sad: newer

more...but, maby it was juste a bad number's girl...

maby thise one are diffetente...

but where is she from? when she want to came? she want to came in

europe for lern french?

 

I imagine if you can have a license in one country, you would be eligible for an international license, but I don't know.

 

Rosie

 

So, if my dd au paired (is that a verb??) for your cousin, how would you and I then be related? I'd love to be related to Rosie!

 

And I think my dd is so amazing, she would wipe any memory of bad American number girl from your cousin's mind. :D

[Natalieclare]

I suggest your dd ask a lot of questions. Try to choose a family whose values support or at least don't contridict those she's grown up with. She needs to be very clear about what is required of her - what her responsibilites are. And she needs to be able to advocate for herself if things aren't working out. I would only send a confident girl out to this type of job. People pleasers or non-confrontational/passive girls will be miserable.

 

Is she assertive, hardworking, and adaptable? If you can say 'yes' to those adjectives then - yes- working as an au pair or nanny may be a good idea.

 

My dd is full of pluck and adventure. She has no problems asserting herself and is very hardworking. I really wouldn't descibe her as a people pleaser; when she was nine, she founded the "I Don't Care What You Think" Club. :D It wasn't as snotty as it sounds--it was all about resisting consumerism and conformity.

 

What exactly is the diff b/t au pair and nanny?

[Rosie_0801]

So, if my dd au paired (is that a verb??) for your cousin, how would you and I then be related? I'd love to be related to Rosie!

 

And I think my dd is so amazing, she would wipe any memory of bad American number girl from your cousin's mind. :D

 

I don't mind if it is a verb. :lol:

 

But I don't think "mother of my first cousin once removed's employee" is really related, and while "mother of my second cousin's nanny" is shorter, it is no more related than the first example. :D

 

Does she speak any French? As far as I know, mother and son speak Polish together, and he is learning English at school, hence her desire to switch to an English speaking nanny. She'd better brush up on her grammar so she can help him with his homework, lol.

 

Anyhow, I have only spent a week with them, and that was in Poland, not at their place, so I can't give many details on their daily life. I'll pm you my email address.

 

Rosie

[Stacy in NJ]

:001_smile:

 

Usually, an au pair is a youngish (teen) who is more a helper and less a professional. Nannies are usually more experienced (older) and work longer hours with more pay.

 

My dd is full of pluck and adventure. She has no problems asserting herself and is very hardworking. I really wouldn't descibe her as a people pleaser; when she was nine, she founded the "I Don't Care What You Think" Club. :D It wasn't as snotty as it sounds--it was all about resisting consumerism and conformity.

 

What exactly is the diff b/t au pair and nanny?

[ondreeuh]

My dd is just about to start a Nanny job tomorrow, so this all may not be relevant, but I'll put it out there anyway. It's a 10 week position while their regular nanny is away. We found it through an online agency, but it's based in Australia, so won't be any help for you. She's emailed them, and chatted on the phone several times, and also met them for an in-person interview.

My dd is only 17.5, but had 2 years experience in a Childcare Centre, and has what we call a Certificate lll in Children's Services, so for her age, quite qualified. This stint will be a step further along in her career choice, as she has sole care of a 2yr old during the day, and her 7yr old sister after school. After this she is planning to go to Germany and Nanny there. We are putting feelers out for positions among the church people we met when we went as a family 2 years ago. There are many professional families in Germany, and the use of Nannies is quite widespread. She doesn't want to Aupair, though, as she wants to do sole-care, and a fulltime position. Aupair is really as a helper, not very much sole care of children. Also it usually doesn't require full time work. And the pay is not great. In Germany, the accepted Aupair wage is 260 Euro per month, whereas Nanny jobs seem to advertise a pay rate of around 400+ Euro per WEEK. Her aim of going to Germany is to learn the language, so she will have very little language when going, but hopefully after a year there will be fluent.

Not sure that I've answered any questions satisfactorily, as it is only her future plans, not experience as such.

 

In the US, au pair services are normally full-time (this may be a requirement of the au pair visa, J-1 if I remember correctly). Plenty of people hire au pairs so they can work outside the home. The stipend is in addition to room and board, whereas nanny pay is more but often does not include R&B.

[Mabelen]

If you have any experience, I have a few questions for you...just a few. ;)

 

*How did you get started?

I went to an au pair agency that had been personally recommended that specialized in au pair placements in the UK and Spain.

 

*Are there agencies to be avoided?

No idea, this was over 20 years ago.

 

*Were you comfortable or did you feel in over your head?

The first time I was not very experienced. The second time I felt very comfortable.

 

*How did you prepare for your experience?

I read about what to expect as an au pair, British lifestyle and customs and kept up the study of the language.

 

*How long was your stint?

First time 3 months during the summer. Second time a year.

 

*Was it a positive experience?

First time was OK but not great. Second time was fantastic.

 

*Do you keep in contact with the family?

Not with the first family. I did keep in touch with the second family for many years, they even came to my wedding.

 

*Would you do it over again?

At that age, yes.

 

*Where did you do it and how did you decide where?

The UK both times, different cities. I was looking for an English speaking country and was recommended an agency that did placements in the UK.

 

*How fluently did you speak the language?

First time I had only basic skills, I could mantain a conversation but taking phone messages for example was very challenging. Second time I was pretty fluent already and passed the Cambridge University Proficiency Exam 3 months after I arrived.

 

Just a few questions!

 

I think au pair terms and conditions in the US vs Europe are different. I believe in Europe your working hours are much shorter because the au pair is supposed to have enough free time to go to school to study the language so you work only part time.

[Crimson Wife]

*How did you get started?

I found an agency in France through the agency that my friends' family had used to hire a summer au pair for their family.

*Are there agencies to be avoided? I'm sure there are but my experience was back in '95 so I don't know how relevant it is.

*Were you comfortable or did you feel in over your head? I had been a FT nanny the summer before so I was fairly comfortable with the childcare aspect. The language & cultural aspect was challenging. I was the only person in the entire village who spoke English.

*How did you prepare for your experience? Boning up on my French skills.

*How long was your stint? Three months.

*Was it a positive experience? Overall yes.

*Do you keep in contact with the family? I did for a couple years but then we drifted apart and my last letter to them got returned to sender.

*Would you do it over again? Yes.

*Where did you do it and how did you decide where? France because I studied French in high school. I requested Paris but got placed in a tiny village about 90 minutes from Lyon.

*How fluently did you speak the language?

 

I went over with okay skills (720 on SAT II French language test & a 4 on the AP French Language exam). I came back pretty much fluent and placed into graduate level French literature classes when I took the university placement test.

[Matryoshka]

I think au pair terms and conditions in the US vs Europe are different. I believe in Europe your working hours are much shorter because the au pair is supposed to have enough free time to go to school to study the language so you work only part time.

 

The au pairs here are also supposed to be able to go to classes. I've known a couple of au pairs that came with an agency, and the family is supposed to (I think) pay for and (definitely) give time off to take them. I think a lot of the friction that comes in au pair situations here is the girls are told (or hear):

Travel to America! Learn English! Take classes! Adventure! Oh, and you have to watch someone's kids during the day.

 

The families are told (or hear):

 

Really cheap live-in child care! And probably housekeeping!

 

I think Europeans have a much better sense of the differences between an au pair and a nanny, so maybe the misunderstandings of role aren't as great for Americans au pairing in Europe.

[Mabelen]

The au pairs here are also supposed to be able to go to classes. I've known a couple of au pairs that came with an agency, and the family is supposed to (I think) pay for and (definitely) give time off to take them. I think a lot of the friction that comes in au pair situations here is the girls are told (or hear):

 

Travel to America! Learn English! Take classes! Adventure! Oh, and you have to watch someone's kids during the day.

 

The families are told (or hear):

 

Really cheap live-in child care! And probably housekeeping!

 

I think Europeans have a much better sense of the differences between an au pair and a nanny, so maybe the misunderstandings of role aren't as great for Americans au pairing in Europe.

 

Yes, I realize that in the US au pairs are also supposed to have time to study, but as far as I know in the US they are expected to provide full time child care whereas in Europe au pairs can only provide part time child care. In Europe they can only work up to 25 hours weekly vs up to 45 hours a week in the US, that is a pretty significant difference. May be that's where the confusion in the US comes from...

[Crimson Wife]

Yes, I realize that in the US au pairs are also supposed to have time to study, but as far as I know in the US they are expected to provide full time child care whereas in Europe au pairs can only provide part time child care. In Europe they can only work up to 25 hours weekly vs up to 45 hours a week in the US, that is a pretty significant difference. May be that's where the confusion in the US comes from...

 

I was an au pair in Europe and was expected to provide full-time childcare. I worked for the village doctor and his pharmacist/assistant wife. They saw patients 6 days per week so I had only Sundays off. There weren't any classes anywhere remotely close to where I was staying.

[Natalieclare]

I was an au pair in Europe and was expected to provide full-time childcare. I worked for the village doctor and his pharmacist/assistant wife. They saw patients 6 days per week so I had only Sundays off. There weren't any classes anywhere remotely close to where I was staying.

 

 

Did you expect that going into it? Or was it sprung on you?

[Mabelen]

I was an au pair in Europe and was expected to provide full-time childcare. I worked for the village doctor and his pharmacist/assistant wife. They saw patients 6 days per week so I had only Sundays off. There weren't any classes anywhere remotely close to where I was staying.

 

Really? I am surprised, I had never heard of au pairs having to work full time in Europe. The whole thing about the au pair program that is different from a live in nanny job is that the au pair is not considered a worker or employee but a kind of cultural exchange student who helps out the family with part time child care in exchange for room, board and pocket money. Have things changed so much?

[Isabella]

In the US, au pair services are normally full-time (this may be a requirement of the au pair visa, J-1 if I remember correctly). Plenty of people hire au pairs so they can work outside the home. The stipend is in addition to room and board, whereas nanny pay is more but often does not include R&B.

 

This is quite possibly so in the US, I haven't looked into much except European countries, and more specifically Germany.

 

I think from the material I've read, that 5 hours a day is maximum that an Aupair should be expected to work in Europe, and, as i said, not really expected to care all those hours for children on their own. As another poster said, it's expected that you will be more of a mother's helper, and perhaps some babysitting, and also have access to language classes, and perhaps even some other work or study. After all, for 260Euro a month, you couldn't expect a full-time, sole-care Nanny, even if room and board were included.

 

Many Nanny positions are advertised as live-in, too, and they seem to command more like 400+ Euro per week.

 

If someone was advertising for an Au pair, but expected the work of a Nanny, that would be deceptive, I think.

 

Really, the term Au pair just means that the applicant would live as part of the family, and be treated like a family member, but I've always understood it to also mean loosely that you are doing less Nanny work, and more a family helper, including childcare, but also having their own life/study/other part-time work, too.

Edited April 27, 2011 by Isabella

[Crimson Wife]

Did you expect that going into it? Or was it sprung on you?

 

I was expecting full-time but not the Saturdays. However, my employers gave me a week's paid vacation while the grandparents were visiting so it pretty much evened out.