jujsky Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 My absolute favorite uncle (like a dad to me & like a grandfather to my kids) was finally diagnosed with lymphoma in his brain. It has been 2 months of waiting for our family because they messed up the initial diagnosis, and had to wait a month for the steroids they gave him to clear his system before they could do a second biopsy. Out of all the brain cancers he could have been diagnosed with, this is the most treatable kind so even though it's horrible, we're very thankful there is lots of hope for him. What can I do for him? His hospital schedule is grueling. For the next 3 months he will be in the hospital for 5 days, out for nine days, back in for 5, etc., and then he will be in once/month (not sure if it's just for a day or a 5 day stretch) for a year. I don't know if they have just TVs in the room or if they have DVD players. He loves comedies and jokes. He's a very kind and funny man. He is also a big-time sports nut. I'm not close to anyone who has been through chemo so I really don't know if he'll be up for anything at the hospital. The doctor did warn my aunt that it's going to be a difficult year and that my uncle will be very sick. I think there are also more risks involved with the location of this lymphoma since it's in the brain. I guess they have to give him special medication to strip the protective coating in the brain so the chemo can even work. It sounds pretty scary to me, but we were all so scared this would be untreatable (many brain cancers are) that we're thankful it's lymphoma. I live 2 hours away so it's not as though I'll be able to visit much during his treatments, and I sort of doubt that would be the best time to visit anyway. I was thinking maybe I could do some sort of a care package, or even rope the family into doing something even bigger for him. I know he's been bored sitting at home the last 2 months. He can't work at all right now (he drives for a living & can't drive right now, obviously). Any ideas for anything I can do for him would be appreciated. Even if I can't do much, just something to bring a smile to his face during this difficult time would be great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeperof3 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 :grouphug: Cancer sucks. Both of my parents had/have cancer, so I have some experience with watching someone you love go through chemo etc. Someone on chemo usually doesn't feel up to doing much. There's generally vomiting and extreme fatigue. My Mom loves things from the kids, drawing etc. Send favorite foods...after making sure he can still eat them and can tolerate the smells. Send him jokes that the kids write for him, or books of jokes, a magic kit. Send him dvd's of comedies or anything else that he likes. A magazine subscription is great too. From my experience the biggest thing you can do to help with a cancer patient is to let them set the rules. If he wants to talk about cancer, his treatment plan etc...let him. If he doesn't....that's ok too. Some people need to talk about what's going on, some people prefer to not talk about it. I am very glad that he has a treatable type. It will be a rough year but it sounds like he has a very good chance of coming through this. If you ever need need to talk, I'm always happy to listen. Blessings,Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I don't know where you live vs where your uncle is...but when my nephew was diagnosed with Leukemia a month ago a group of ladies came to her house and scrubbed it down. They committed to coming every week so that the family (mom) could focus on my nephew instead of having to clean the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 (edited) --- Edited November 10, 2021 by prairiewindmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Do they have netflix? Maybe a subscription for his hospital visits. Hand written happy cards from your kids. Just knowing people care helps, even if they can't be there, and during the times you don't want people around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Make recordings that he can listen to while getting the chemo. I think it is valuable to be relaxed and try to "accept the healing" of this very difficult medication. You could record readings from scripture, record your prayers for him, messages from your children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Visit. Organize other family and friends to visit. (ie not all at the same time and not for long stays) Email. Call. It is surprising how people freeze up when they hear someone has cancer and then they don't call, visitor or anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 When he is really sick and needs lots of care, will it be your aunt? Is she a good nurse? If she is, at least in our family, most of us, rather than tromping in and out and bothering the sick person, put our effort into making sure that trusted one-on-one caregiver was supported. Cook and clean for HER so she can be for him. (If she is a terrible nurse, so someone else is needed, or your uncle, even when very ill wants company, things are different -- but that is how it worked in my family.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 I don't know if any of this will be relevant or helpful. Just thought to share. I hate, hate, hate cancer. It really and truly sucks. Lots (most) of these ideas are geared for women ... Care kit with things to combat nausea - Lip balm for dry lips, Lemon drops, ginger snaps, Chinese ginger candy, ginger ale, soda crackers, stuff like that Books on tape Funny movie If he is getting chemo she may find that he is easily chilled. This is especially true when chemo causes hair loss. You may want to see if you can find the fluffiest, softest hat and maybe even a snuggly throw. A freezer full of meals ready to heat and eat. Gift cards and certificates from her favorite local restaurants, those that deliver are best. Gift cards from the local pharmacy and grocery store Books and dvds if you know what is liked or gift cards for those too. Offer to do “at home” things – water plants, look after a pet, or pick up mail Lip balm is the #1 request for drying air in hospitals Calling card This blog is interesting and helpful as to what to say or not to say for someone with cancer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 :grouphug: Cancer sucks. My 36 year old beloved sister in law has angiosarcoma. They tell her she will be fighting for every year she wants to be on this earth. Sometimes the chemo is the worst part, sometimes it is the surgeries. You have been given some wonderful ideas so far....... Chemo/hospital fuzzy warm socks familiar pillow chap stick cheery water bottle a Nook or ereader, you could load it up with sport biographies? Home: We found a chest freezer, made a ton of meals an brought it up to her. Chicken pot pies freeze well, lot of baked goods, cookies and muffins, homemade burritoes, we marinated steaks and then froze them, stuff like that. Not having the energy to shop made this especially nice to go "shop" in her own house. Lot of gift cards to the closest pharmacy for incidentals and stuff you don't know you need, until you do. Gift certificates to local restaurants that deliver and menus were very welcome too. I know this is scary and I won't pretend it doesn't suck, but I do wish your family peace and courage and healing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 When my friend was in treatment we gave her a Netflix subscription. gift cards (grocery stores, restaurants, gas) or meals stopping by emails cards are also good suggestions. Just remember the whole family too. Minor children, spouses, pets...there's less time for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) ... Edited September 7, 2023 by J-rap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gmfbailey Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I am sorry to hear about your uncle. I agree with everyone else, cancer sucks. When my mom was diagnosed I didn't live close by and couldn't be there for the day to day. I sent her a card weekly with a picture of the kids or a drawing they did. I also tried to mail the card on the same day every week. She told me later that this was the high point of her week. She would know what day that card was coming and it gave her something to look forward to. If you are close, support for the caregiver is wonderful: House cleanings, meals, running errands (even some time off so they can get out of the house to run errands). Good luck to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Lots of lotion (chemo dries the skin awfully) A warm cozy blanket to cuddle under while he's getting his chemo treatments Hang in there..... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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