House cleaning/chores help?

[mommymilkies]

I'm sure this topic has already been beaten to death, but I'm feverish and tired. Sorry!

 

I have 5 kids who are as messy as rampaging bulls, 5 cats, a dog that sheds an incredible amount, a dh who thinks helping is dumping my clean laundry on the couch for me to fold, and 1800 sq ft of disaster. I used to be an incredible housekeeper. But my health and the dog's hair have exploded since we moved here. I have very little energy, a lot of pain in my ribs and ear/head, and no money for a housekeeper.

 

Any tips? I'm a flylady dropout and motivated moms just didn't work for me for some reason. It seems like if I miss a chore on my list I give up entirely sometimes. I just don't have the energy or if I do, I end up curled up crying in pain on the couch for days sometimes.

 

How does everyone do chores with their kids? My oldest dd walks the dog and my ds feeds the pets. Dh takes out the trash and the rest is my job. I can't decide if I believe in paying for chores (especially when we don't have much money and I pay over $100 a month per older 3 kids on lessons they picked per month) or them being obligatory as a member of the family.

 

I don't think either is perfect, but I need some way to make them help. I can't keep vacuuming days after surgery in pain. My oldest does help a lot but I don't want her to feel burdened, so I'd like to make chores fair. Maybe having a goal and having each chore count for a certain amount to work towards it? I just don't know.

 

Sorry about typos-autocorrect hates me on my iPod.

[MamaT]

I don't pay for chores. It is part of living in a family and doing your fair share around here. We all (including me) have chores every morning before school, then we rotate chores for taking care of the animals between the three youngest. Our oldest mows on the weekends (we have five acres to mow), so he gets out of animal duty. We also divide up the chores that need to be done monthly and the five of us do one per week. It doesn't take all that much time and no one has an unfair share of work. They have activities every afternoon. I could not spend the time I do running them around if I had to do everything all myself.

[Faithr]

here's what I'd do in your situation:

 

You can't afford to pay for chores so don't, they are obligatory for your kids.

 

Pick one kid (the kid who likes the dog the most, maybe) and make them brush the dog every day so you don't have to deal with so much dog hair.

 

Have each kid have one chore they have to do independently every day, like feeding/brushing the dog or taking out the trash or setting the table or loading the dinner dishes, running the laundry, whatever. Let the kids pick which chore they want to be their daily one.

 

Every day have a blitz chore time. I like to do this before I start making dinner or maybe after I get something in the oven when we have a little time. Gather everybody together, announce the chores that most need doing at that moment (the stuff that is driving you the craziest), put on a timer (10 minutes, 20 minutes whatever will work for that day at that time), and then have everybody race around trying to get it all done before the timer goes off. Reward everyone with a read aloud or a TV show or ice cream or something that will make everyone feel rewarded! I like to make the little kids be my 'runners' for this. So while I'm tidying, etc they have to put things away for me or run and get stuff for me to help.

 

You sound like me. I am not a housekeeper and I can not deal with complicated charts or reward systems. They break down almost immediately. So this approach works much better for us. It keeps chaos at bay.

 

Maybe you could ask your husband to do one more chore for you. Just one. Even that much will be helpful.

[blondeviolin]

We just addressed my issues with chores last week. Granted, my kids are younger, but what we did REALLY helped, so I'll share anyway...

 

We used to have traditional charts that were laminated that the kids were supposed to use dry erase markers to wipe off. Except, I was the one who kept doling out the chores and marking them off for them. It was nowhere NEAR as self-motivating as I needed it to be...

 

SO...3 kids and #4 on the way, I'm in school full-time, my husband is in school half-time, and we have only 1100 sq ft to house us all... Well, it was overwhelming and I was sinking.

 

We dropped the charts and went with boards. They are boards that we covered with fabric (their choice) that have five hooks. In the morning they wake up to five cards hanging with different chores/tasks on them. They are not allowed to watch TV or play outside until their cards are flipped over. On the other side of the card has a different picture (of their choice) and "DONE!" written on it. When all the cards are flipped, they can do their fun things. After quiet time (so, 2/3 PM), new cards get put up and they have the same rules. (You can see pictures on my blog.)

 

With this system, the only thing that I really am doing cleaning-wise is cleaning of the kitchen and actual deep cleaning. They are responsible for picking up floors and keeping things tidy. Sometimes I may need to remind them or help point out things they missed, but amazingly, at nearly-5 and 3, they are capable of completing their chores.

 

And my house stays cleaner!

 

So maybe just change it up? Flip your routine, add some motivation for the kids, SOMETHING. Also, I've found that my husband is awesome about helping out...but he needs to be told what to do. Otherwise, he just putters around the house confused, very much like one of my other children.

[Susan in TX]

Stop paying for the kids' lessons and use the money to pay for a housecleaner instead!

 

You can train the kids to help but it isn't easy, and your kids are young so there is only so much they can reasonably do.

 

Susan in TX

[Peela]

Schedule chores in just like other lessons. We always had the kids- and still have them- do their chores before school starts.

And don't expect them to just do it without supervision and being checked on. Give lots of praise even for chores not done to your perfection.

The thing I like about Flylady is the forming of routines. When a routine is a routine, and not something you have to consciously make a big effort about each and every day- it then actually becomes effortless in a way, because the "thinking about it" part is eliminated. You just do it.

There were days when we would just clean the house until it was done, and then get done whatever school we could for the rest of the day- but the house came first because it was bugging me too much.

[kmacnchs]

#1 can you make pets outdoor pets? I abhor animal hair in the house!

 

#2 write down what you think each child can do (starting w/the youngest)

 

#3 everyone has ONE thing to do/day. That way, it is not overwhelming.

 

Here is my week:

Mon-clothes

Tues-bathrooms

Wed-clothes

Thurs-vacuum

Fri-sweep/mop

Sat-clothes

Sun-dust

 

Days I have more time, I do 2days worth so I can relax later in the week. Dusting doesn't get done every week :tongue_smilie:

 

dd1 empties the dishwasher (just silverware right now) just about everyday.

 

So, each of your children could have a weekly list and you could even schedule it into your day: at x time, everyone does their daily chore.

 

Other than that, before we leave a part of the house, it must be cleaned up. ex. we play in the basement on rainy days but before we go upstairs for rest time, it must be cleaned up. Children are fully capable of cleaning up after themselves. If they are not used to it, it will just take a lot of reminding.

[mommymilkies]

Thank you, everyone. I'm taking notes. I can't cancel classes- we are very isolated and it's the best I can provide for friends and social activities.

 

The animals can not go outside. My cats are not a problem and we're saving for a fence. We may end up moving before we get that far, though!

[Susan in TN]

Here's what I do. Keep in mind that a couple of my kids are older than yours and we would never pass a Better Homes and Garden inspection...

 

We have scheduled chore time. Morning chores - right after clearing the breakfast table, afternoon chores - right after lunch, and "before dinner tidy" which may or may not happen.

 

Some things my older kids are responsible for: tidying the living room, cleaning the bathrooms, emptying the dishwasher (sometimes loading), general tidying of "key" (i.e. visible) areas, emptying/taking out trash, laundry (each bedroom has it's own laundry day, and they know how to start the washer & dryer)

 

Some things my younger kids are responsible for: tidying play areas, putting away laundry/ cleaning rooms (with help), washing kitchen table/chairs, giving the chickens water, checking for eggs, setting table (with help), sweeping deck, dust-mopping the floors (OK, they don't do a great job here, but they're willing, so I live with it).

 

 

I like Flylady, but she didn't factor 6 busy homeschooling kids into the system ;). But some of the routines and techniques can be handy.

[SEP]

My girls do my kitchen clean up every day. one child does dishes after each meal and the other sweeps/sprays countertops after each meal.

 

my son does silverware and picks up toys in the den after lunch.

 

they fold laundry and put away their own whenever necessary.

 

they can clean bathrooms, vacuum, dust when asked.

 

if you take the time to train them, they will be great helpers. just pick one room each day.

[happypamama]

My older two kids have tasks (I like that term better than chores; chores sounds like drudgery, but tasks sounds like something busily productive -- whatever it takes to make it work) that they have to do each morning. It's the same every day, so they know what they are and no longer argue about them. Changing up the tasks just makes it harder on me.

 

I also have zero problem with saying something like, "I can clean up X, but then I will still be doing that when it's time to go to your lesson and won't be able to take you." This is usually pretty effective. Yesterday, for instance, there was a huge pile of laundry to fold, and the kids wanted me to take them somewhere, which isn't what I had planned to do (I had planned to fold the laundry). So in exchange, they folded and put away the laundry for me. Everyone won!

 

I've mentioned this before, but if there is a lot of stuff out, I assign them a certain number of items to pick up, and that's it. Getting some of the clutter is better than none, and if they know they only have a finite number of things to pick up, that's easier on them. If they argue or dawdle, I assign more.

[Spryte]

We have a system similar to blondeviolin's. I am not creative enough to come up with my own, so I ordered the PEGS system from Family Tools, but you could create something on your own.

 

The kids flip their disks over once they finish a chore, and also receive bonuses for good behavior & penalties for bad behavior. I laminated the chart that came with the kit, and it hangs right over our pegboard - I like that it states everything very clearly, so there is no room to argue.

 

Instead of paying for chores - also not something I'd like to do - we offer rewards. Again, I took the easy way out and ordered the Family Tools "Pick A Privilege" jar. For every X number of bonuses that the kids receive, they get to "pick a privilege" from the jar. (We use the age of the child to determine the number of bonuses, so the 7 year old needs 7 bonuses.) The privileges are fairly low cost, or free, so it's easy to dole them out happily.

 

I'm not affiliated with Family Tools in any way, shape, or form. :) Just a happy Mommy. We've been using their system for about a year, and it's the first one to stick! Before this, I'd tried making my own charts and reward systems, but nothing seemed to work for us. Maybe this one works because having spent money on it, I feel more committed? Not sure, but whatever the reason - it's worked.