Help! I'm floundering! How do you do this?

[jenniferp8]

This is my 4th year homeschooling and I feel like I'm floundering. I've never been able to figure out what really works for us. I originally started with "public school at home" because that was all I knew and that was a flop. So I went to trying to let the children follow their own interests (hoping it would develop a true love of learning) but feel like we should be doing a lot more - especially basic skills. Trying to individualize to each child's interests and to make it fun for all is wearing me out and I often end up defaulting to a little read-aloud time and not much else. I just don't feel like we are "thriving" academically yet I see so many non-academic rewards to homeschooling that I know I have to keep doing it. So I need to get it figured out!

 

I am such a box checker (I know, it's good and bad). I would love to have each child have a schedule of things they must work on each day and they dutifully do them and check them off (happily???) but I'm so afraid of the kids developing a hate of learning that I'm weak when it comes to giving assignments. I'm uncomfortable that they aren't putting a lot of effort into writing and math and other skills because it's boring and not fun, but I'm also uncomfortable about having total control (YOU HAVE TO DO THIS --whine, whine, cry, cry) over their studies too. Where's the happy medium? I'm having a hard time finding it. How did they make those one-room school houses work?

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things? I find if I work with each child, we get things done but it takes ALL DAY!

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do? Do you keep everyone together on certain subjects and individualize on others? What and which ones?

 

Do your kids still have a love for learning despite the skills practice and other things that often aren't fun? Do you have high school age children that study because they love it?

 

My kids are ds 12, dd 11, ds 8, dd 5 and dd 2...

I would love any input!! Thanks for enduring my ranting!:w00t:

Thanks,

Jennifer

[sixpence1978]

Just giving you a little bump to make sure you don't get lost in all the active threads.

 

I'm no expert (this is my 3rd year), but I can share a few things that might help.

 

-Your older children are definitely at a stage where they should be about to do some work independently. I would give them a daily checklist (or whatever floats their fancy). Have them set their own goals too. Achieving them can do so much to lift spirits.

 

-Remember that all learning isn't always fun. The core subjects of grammar, writing, and math sometimes just need to get done. I try to include a game or special thing here or there, but mostly these are subjects that just need "checked off" each day.

 

-Science, history, etc are the subjects that you can combine kids more and have a bit more flexibility with. I like to include a lot of experiments and projects.

 

-Learn to balance their learning style with your teaching style. My DD is very fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants. She wants to have fun at all times. I like things by the book. I've learned to look for curriculum that is fun when it needs to be, but that is also orderly and organized for me. I also spend time over the summer preparing for the up-coming year so that I am ready each day.

 

-You don't always have to make their interests into lessons. Sometimes you need to let them just explore it on their own. For example, if they are interested in rockets, then give them a science-fair type project. But they are in control of researching and learning about it. Also, making it through that check-list of lessons a lot of times helps you to finish a bit quicker. Then you would also have the benefit of a bit of extra time for outside interests.

 

-Make sure you are taking a bit of time for yourself each day. It's very easy to let homeschooling take over all of your waking hours. Spend 30 minutes reading a good book, exercising, or whatever appeals to you and will help you recharge.

 

I hope some of these ideas help. Hopefully more will chime in with some more suggestions.

[WTMCassandra]

Have you read Cathy Duffy's 100 Top Picks? The first couple of chapters where she has you identify your homeschooling style and your children's learning styles are the most valuable. Finding your niche is crucial to keeping your sanity and cutting down on your overwhelm as you look at curriculum.

 

Have you read The Well-Trained Mind? (I ask mainly because you are here on the boards.) This is invaluable for setting goals for your children's learning.

 

Do you have a schedule? Some people love to hate schedules, but it keeps everything moving at this house, even if someone doesn't feel up to par. I give my children a list of requirements in the summer (such as math 45 min, 5 times a week) and have them create their own schedules. These are posted in the schoolroom. Then when I see them "at sea," all I need to ask is, "What are you supposed to be doing?"

 

Just some food for thought off the top of my head . . .

 

Edited to add:

 

Okay, reread your original post. A schedule actually allows you to be less bossy, not more bossy. The schedule bosses the child. I think your 12yo and 11yo are definitely old enough to do this.

 

My children get a bit of say in what they study, but not a whole lot. For example, I determined my daughter needed to study WA history. I choose three texts that were acceptable to me and let her pick which one she wanted to use. My children do not know what they need to be able to fulfill their goals--but I do, acting as their teacher and guidance counselor. I show them what colleges are looking for when I explain what I am requiring. So, I don't let them choose willy-nilly, but I stress that I have specific reasons for what I require. And those requirements are somewhat tailored to their goals. For example, my son is engineering-bound and must finish pre-calc before doing Running Start. My job is to get him there so he can fulfill his goal. My daughter wants to be a Latin teacher, so I allowed her to add a supplementary Latin translation tutor this year. One day my humanities daughter asked me if she would be required to take pre-calc, and I told her probably not, that her goals were different from her brother's.

 

Overall, they are happy learners. They might not be happy in the midst of a particular assignment, but they enjoy the accomplishment. They are also shocked when they encounter people who are doing very little academically (unfortunately, they are out there). We spend time as a family pursuing their interests--handbells, rocket club, horses, etc. They know we are committed to developing them as well-rounded people.

 

Hope this helps.

Edited March 22, 2011 by WTMCassandra

[regentrude]

I am not experienced, this is our third year, but here is what works for us:

 

I'm uncomfortable that they aren't putting a lot of effort into writing and math and other skills because it's boring and not fun, but I'm also uncomfortable about having total control

 

 

In our house, math and writing ARE fun. We do math for fun and we write for fun. Not boring at all. (OK, my kids are older, so we don't have to deal with writing mechanics and boring arithmetic)

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things?

 

Yes, my kids work largely independently. They are 11 and 13. I spend about an hour a day with each child, actually working on school. The rest of the time they work on their own.

 

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?

 

My kids get to choose what they want to work on - except for math for DS (daily) and physics for DD (outside class with schedule). Other than that, they know the amount of time they are required to work (DS 4.25 hours, DD 5 hours) every day and can choose how they want to spend it. They need to keep track of what they did for how long.

This leads to phases that are heavy in one subject - for instance, when DD is working on a history project, other stuff gets pout on the back burner - but it averages out over the months.

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do? Do you keep everyone together on certain subjects and individualize on others? What and which ones?

 

I only have two kids, and they work on separate things.

My kids MUST do math. DS is in 6th grade and can pretty freely pick what he wants to do otherwise within the perimeters I set: he knows what he can work on in each subject, which books to use, what topics to research, and he divides his time as he wishes.

DD is in high school and must put in on average an hour per subject per day to satisfy her credit requirements. So, she has to make sure to work on all subjects - but not necessarily every single day.

 

 

Do your kids still have a love for learning despite the skills practice and other things that often aren't fun? Do you have high school age children that study because they love it?

 

Yes. DD LOVES math, physics, history and literature. The only thing she is not quite as excited about is French. And DS likes everything but Latin ;-)

[woolybear]

:bigear:

 

I share some of your ambivalence about not having them hate "school" versus our getting done what needs to get done. I'm listening to what others have to say to learn too.

 

I am wondering if you could find a program you could combine maybe the older two in one year and the younger two in one year? Think about what would be overall enjoyable to you and them. ie: lots of read alouds, hands on, shorter lessons, and find something that fits into that. If you have someone else's schedule to follow, maybe it would help as a jumping off place.

 

 

Crawling back into my hole to listen, because I really don't have a clue......:001_smile:

[Jane Elliot]

I am such a box checker (I know, it's good and bad). I would love to have each child have a schedule of things they must work on each day and they dutifully do them and check them off (happily???) but I'm so afraid of the kids developing a hate of learning that I'm weak when it comes to giving assignments. I'm uncomfortable that they aren't putting a lot of effort into writing and math and other skills because it's boring and not fun, but I'm also uncomfortable about having total control (YOU HAVE TO DO THIS --whine, whine, cry, cry) over their studies too. Where's the happy medium? I'm having a hard time finding it. How did they make those one-room school houses work?

 

Every weekend I make an assignment sheet for each child for the coming week. (I would be happy to email you that if you have Excel.) They check off the boxes. Some things they enjoy and others they don't enjoy but do them because they want to go play Ultimate Frisbee with their friends on Friday night. :D Incentives are helpful.

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things? I find if I work with each child, we get things done but it takes ALL DAY!

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?

 

The older they get, the more independent they get. I spend the entire moring with my little kids and the entire afternoon with my older kids. I make the schedule for them until around high school at which time they get a lot more say and make their own assignment sheets with my guidance.

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do? Do you keep everyone together on certain subjects and individualize on others? What and which ones?

 

Yes, there are things they must do because I'm the Mommy and I know what's best for them. We stay together somewhat for history and read alouds, otherwise everyone works on their own work.

 

Do your kids still have a love for learning despite the skills practice and other things that often aren't fun? Do you have high school age children that study because they love it?

 

I do have high school (and graduated) kids with a love for learning even though I made them do things they didn't want to do (like outlining, Latin, math facts, etc.) Being solid in skills makes learning more fun as they get older. Learning is frustrating when you don't have the necessary skills with which to do it. This is really important for you to understand. If your children do not become solid in the basics, they will not enjoy learning later on. Not making your child do certain academic things when they're young because you don't want to kill their desire for learning *backfires*. I guarantee it.

 

My kids are ds 12, dd 11, ds 8, dd 5 and dd 2...

I would love any input!! Thanks for enduring my ranting!:w00t:

Thanks,

Jennifer

 

I put my comments within the quote in blue. ETA: WTMCassandra's suggestion that you read WTM is an excellent one. Without WTM our homeschool would be a mess. I mean that.

Edited March 22, 2011 by Luann in ID

[mom2boys030507]

My oldest just turned 8. We are in our 3rd year of officially homeschooling, by public school grade standards.

 

At this point, my boys do school basically everyday that their father is at work. Yes, we school year round. Yes, there are breaks, we take random vacation weeks and days throughout the year.

 

Each day they know they have to do the basics. For us that is math, greek, grammar/spelling, bible and literature. The other things that are added on certain days are typing, history, and science.

 

My boys are responsible for getting out their own books. They know where everything is and they are able to reach it all. We also start school as soon as breakfast is over - for this works great, if they have freedom after breakfast I struggle getting them to work.

 

For our everyday subjects, I am needed for each one at some point. My school age boys are both finished with phonics so this helps with reading directions if needed. I sit at the kitchen table and get them started. My oldest may choose to start with Greek, while my younger math. Greek doesn't need my help until the end math I need to start them off with the lesson in the text book. So I go through the lesson with my younger and then I am ready to review flashcards in Greek with my older. Then one of the boys reads thier bible to me while the other is working independantly. Then I switch who needs my attention. Sometimes, it is my preschooler -either he wants to do his school work or needs me to read to him for a few minutes. Basically we trade off who gets mommy durning school time.

 

I keep the boys together in history and science - it is just easier.

 

As far as their input on what we are studing that happens a few times a year. I ask each boy what they really want to learn about at some point in the next few months. Some times, we just take a week or two and just learn about that subject in science, this is the subject most of their answers come from. If it is something that will interest everyone then I try to make a bigger unit out of it. The other way I give them some input is by discussing with them what we are going to study and let them help some of the order. For example, we just started a unit on Knights and Castles -they wanted to study dragons, so that is where we started.

 

I hope that my experience helps. It is different for every family and I know we are about to go through another change as my youngest is getting ready to join us in formal schooling. He is still young but starting to chomp at the bit :)

[Jean in CA]

I agree with the post that says a schedule will make you "less bossy" not more.

 

One other thought to add to the great posts above.

 

Do YOU find grammar, writing, math boring too? If so, this might be an area that could use some creativity. As one example, we use R&S grammar (as dry as they come). But I've never heard my kids complain about the subject matter.

 

We read the lesson together. They are rewarded for paying attention and learning the lesson. We do 5 problems from each section orally. If they get them all right, we move on. If any are wrong, we do 3 more. I will often speak in foreign accents or funny voices to spice things up. I will also have them choose the wrong answer on purpose, e.g. "We is all coming up to the house today" in a goofy voice. They still learn their grammar and the time passes quickly. We also have a lot of fun.

 

I praise them a lot when I see improvements in their grammar and writing and they are so pleased when they see their own progress too!

[RahRah]

I'm definitely not an expert and have only been doing this for a year, but....

 

This is my 4th year homeschooling and I feel like I'm floundering. I've never been able to figure out what really works for us. I originally started with "public school at home" because that was all I knew and that was a flop. So I went to trying to let the children follow their own interests (hoping it would develop a true love of learning) but feel like we should be doing a lot more - especially basic skills. Trying to individualize to each child's interests and to make it fun for all is wearing me out and I often end up defaulting to a little read-aloud time and not much else. I just don't feel like we are "thriving" academically yet I see so many non-academic rewards to homeschooling that I know I have to keep doing it. So I need to get it figured out!

 

Have you tried a mix of some structure/schedule and some open-ended exploration of interests?

 

I am such a box checker (I know, it's good and bad). I would love to have each child have a schedule of things they must work on each day and they dutifully do them and check them off (happily???) but I'm so afraid of the kids developing a hate of learning that I'm weak when it comes to giving assignments.

 

I've learned I have to take off the "mom hat" and put on the "teacher hat" for some things, like math and reading (phonics). With your younger children, they need you to set the tone and move them along through their studies since they haven't yet developed a way to self-pace....with your older kids, if you want to give them some autonomy and input, maybe sit down with them, look over what you feel needs to be accomplished in, say, a month - and work together to come up with their 'task list' for the four weeks....assess how that's working and if it's going well, continue - if not, try again with you providing more input and they agreeing to it, even if reluctantly.

 

I'm uncomfortable that they aren't putting a lot of effort into writing and math and other skills because it's boring and not fun, but I'm also uncomfortable about having total control (YOU HAVE TO DO THIS --whine, whine, cry, cry) over their studies too. Where's the happy medium? I'm having a hard time finding it. How did they make those one-room school houses work?

 

See above.

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things?

 

DS6 can work independently with his math, some science, ETC online and listening to the CD's for SOTW - we work together on other things....as he matures, I am hoping he will grow more independent.

 

I find if I work with each child, we get things done but it takes ALL DAY!

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?

 

I recently started letting DS create "goals" to meet for phonics/LA - it is his weakest subject and often led to his being quite unhappy with the lessons...so we sat down, looked at where we are, how much he's already accomplished and where we need to go - I gave him the opportunity to set some goals to reach where we need to be and he earns gold stars as he reaches each milestone.....(bribery works) with a toy he really wants when he reaches goal in the timeframe we've agreed to.

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do? Do you keep everyone together on certain subjects and individualize on others? What and which ones?

 

Absolutes each day - math and reading - no getting around it, barring illness or emergency, they have to be done

[momto2blessings]

We follow a Charlotte Mason style education, with some more strictly classical thrown in---a combo of www.amblesideonline.com, Truthquest History, some WTM ideas. In the younger years, especially, this provides them with time in the day to explore their own interests. We cover what I feel is important, but school doesn't take all day. I try to keep lots of library books on hand for my curious 8yo and he'll study rocks and minerals, nature field guides, etc. on his own time. My 11 yo isn't geared that way---just wants to do school then have fun.

 

Though my kids would not say they love school, they generally enjoy the books we are reading, since we focus on living books and not textbooks. Core subjects like math and language arts have to be done well, no exceptions, whether they like it or not:) They're pretty independent in those---mainly me guiding. We use Math-U-See which is not cumbersome. Checklist is a good idea. We have one and no DSi/free time until list is done---this is motivating to them to complete everything and not dawdle. HTH some:) Gina

[robsiew]

I've been where you are... trying to figure out if school should be fun/not fun...instill the love of learning... here's where I've come down in all of that...

 

1. There are certain parts of school that are fun and some that just need to get done.

 

2. My children have almost no say in curriculum choice. I'm the teacher. I need to teach. If I have a difficult time teaching no one is happy! If I'm happy it will most likely rub off on my kids. If they don't like a subject, chances are it doesn't matter what curriculum I use. You can't please everyone all the time.

 

3. We do try to have some fun. This mostly comes in my being relaxed during school time to enjoy some rabbit trails. Yesterday morning my youngest who is 5 was much more interested in the squirrels playing in the front yard than in doing his reading. We took a 5 min. little break and watched the squirrels. It was fun! Then, we got back to work. Because I enjoy what I teach that was easy for me to do because I was relaxed and happy. If I was stressed and time crunched or didn't really enjoy what I was teaching him it would have been a different story. We also try to do active science experiments every week as well as a history project when we can.

 

4. Most of the fun the kids have is after school on their own. Nothing is as fun to them as deciding what they want to do with their time. By working hard on their work in the morning (or at night for my night owls) they are rewarded for their efforts by more free time than most peers their age. The fun they have on their own is much more fun than I could plan for them. I think the love of learning is partly a maturity thing that comes with age and partly a personality thing. For some people, it never comes. I LOVE learning. My dh doesn't. 2 of my kids love school. 1 doesn't and 1 wants to hate it, but I think if it weren't for the influence of his brother he would like it!

 

5. We do work on a schedule, however it looks different than many families. I had to get to the point where I analyzed our family's patterns and we go from there. What works for one family doesn't work for another. I have night owl kids. 2 of them do all their independent work at night in their rooms. One wants to so I'm working him in that direction. The next day they know they must get chores done and their work with me before they play.

 

Bottom line is I think you need some type of schedule. You need to use curriculum that YOU enjoy teaching. Children need to do certain things because they need to be done, not because they are necessarily fun. And, they need a relaxed mom who can enjoy the process with them.

 

This is all, of course, from my perspective.... I'm sure you'll get lots of other input! :D

[Mom in High Heels]

 

I am such a box checker (I know, it's good and bad). I would love to have each child have a schedule of things they must work on each day and they dutifully do them and check them off (happily???) but I'm so afraid of the kids developing a hate of learning that I'm weak when it comes to giving assignments.

 

Honestly, I'd say get over this. I'm not saying it to be mean or flip (it's hard to tell tone on the internet). That's your job as their teacher. If they don't HAVE to do it, why should they? School is not optional and they need to learn this. There are some things they HAVE to do, they need to accept it, get them done and move on.

 

I'm uncomfortable that they aren't putting a lot of effort into writing and math and other skills because it's boring and not fun, but I'm also uncomfortable about having total control (YOU HAVE TO DO THIS --whine, whine, cry, cry) over their studies too.

 

If they aren't putting the effort into it, then they're not motivated on their won. You NEED to motivate them. Why are you uncomfortable having control over their schooling? If they went to a ps, another person would have total control. I'd rather be in control than someone else. Math and writing often aren't fun, but they have to be done. It doesn't have to be drudgery, but it can't be all fun all the time. Sometimes, they're just going to have to suck it up and do it.

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things? I find if I work with each child, we get things done but it takes ALL DAY!

 

Indy is only 8, and dyslexic, so I do a lot of one on one with him. He does do his math on his own (we use TT and it's on the computer), but we will discuss it afterward. He does his spelling assignments and usually Latin (his favorite subject!) on his own. I do science, history and grammar with him as well as read alouds and listen while he reads to me (which is a loooong process due to the dyslexia).

 

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?

 

He doesn't get much say because all we would study are bugs, Star Wars, Egypt, Pompeii and volcanoes. Those are his interests, but he has to learn other stuff, and then his interests broaden. Last year we read Oliver Twist. He'd probably never have read it on his own, but after we read it, he wanted to learn all he could about orphanages, child labor and London. He's always found knights interesting, but until we started studying the Middle Ages this year, they were mostly stuff from fairy tales. Now he knows all about how one became a knight, how they dressed (and why), what the codes of chivalry are, how and why castles were built, etc. If I hadn't said, "this is what we're studying" he probably wouldn't have picked that to study seriously. He's thoroughly enjoyed it though and can talk for HOURS on the subject. If you don't introduce new topics to your kids, how would they know if they find them interesting or not?

 

After the earthquake, he asked so many questions, that I decided to do a unit study on them. He found this crazy interesting. I felt a little guilty about using such a tragedy, but we both learned a lot and he found it really interesting. He can now tell you all about how (and why) earthquakes and tsunamis happen. He didn't ask to learn about it formally, but since there were so many questions, I decided to use that and it worked out really well.

 

He does not make his own schedule. I have a daily schedule (I make up 8 weeks of scheduling at a time) and we check off the boxes as we go. He likes to see me check off the boxes because he knows we've accomplished something.

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do? ?

 

Absolutely. Math, spelling and reading get done every day. Period. He does science and history 2-3 days a week, geography one day a week, Latin 4 days a week and grammar 3 days a week. He has a spelling test every Friday. If he gets an A or B on his spelling test he gets to play his Wii on the weekends (he's only allowed it on the weekends). If he gets a C or worse, no Wii. It took 1 weekend of no Wii to get him to realize that spelling is something he needed to take seriously.

 

Do your kids still have a love for learning despite the skills practice and other things that often aren't fun?

 

Yep! He LOVES to learn about pretty much everything. There are things he finds boring (grammar and spelling are dull to him), but mostly, he loves school. He's actually gotten so good at diagramming a sentence (despite it being dull) that he can do them without me even having to go over what needs to go where. He can pick out the subject, verb, adverb, direct object, complete predicate, etc. with no problems. Repetition was the key. He also knows that not everything in life is fun, so why should school be any different?

 

We're also really big on consequences. I found him dawdling on the subjects he did himself. I moved our schedule around to get those things done first and put a timer on them. If he's not done with them by the time the timer goes off, he has to work on them at the end of the day, when he could be outside playing with his friends. He works HARD not to have to work on school during play time. There is no TV during the school day until after school is complete and then only if he did a good job (by my standards). There is no Wii except on the weekends IF he made an A or B on his spelling test. He knows the rules because we've made them very clear to him. There are rules for everything in life and school is just another one of those things. Reading this, it sounds like we're really harsh, but we're not. We have loads of fun with school. He tells me all the time how happy he is not to go to "regular" school because home school is so much more fun (he went to a private school for K). He feels "sorry" for his friends who aren't home schooled.

[TheAutumnOak]

I've been where you are... trying to figure out if school should be fun/not fun...instill the love of learning... here's where I've come down in all of that...

 

1. There are certain parts of school that are fun and some that just need to get done.

 

2. My children have almost no say in curriculum choice. I'm the teacher. I need to teach. If I have a difficult time teaching no one is happy! If I'm happy it will most likely rub off on my kids. If they don't like a subject, chances are it doesn't matter what curriculum I use. You can't please everyone all the time.

 

3. We do try to have some fun. This mostly comes in my being relaxed during school time to enjoy some rabbit trails. Yesterday morning my youngest who is 5 was much more interested in the squirrels playing in the front yard than in doing his reading. We took a 5 min. little break and watched the squirrels. It was fun! Then, we got back to work. Because I enjoy what I teach that was easy for me to do because I was relaxed and happy. If I was stressed and time crunched or didn't really enjoy what I was teaching him it would have been a different story. We also try to do active science experiments every week as well as a history project when we can.

 

4. Most of the fun the kids have is after school on their own. Nothing is as fun to them as deciding what they want to do with their time. By working hard on their work in the morning (or at night for my night owls) they are rewarded for their efforts by more free time than most peers their age. The fun they have on their own is much more fun than I could plan for them. I think the love of learning is partly a maturity thing that comes with age and partly a personality thing. For some people, it never comes. I LOVE learning. My dh doesn't. 2 of my kids love school. 1 doesn't and 1 wants to hate it, but I think if it weren't for the influence of his brother he would like it!

 

5. We do work on a schedule, however it looks different than many families. I had to get to the point where I analyzed our family's patterns and we go from there. What works for one family doesn't work for another. I have night owl kids. 2 of them do all their independent work at night in their rooms. One wants to so I'm working him in that direction. The next day they know they must get chores done and their work with me before they play.

 

Bottom line is I think you need some type of schedule. You need to use curriculum that YOU enjoy teaching. Children need to do certain things because they need to be done, not because they are necessarily fun. And, they need a relaxed mom who can enjoy the process with them.

 

This is all, of course, from my perspective.... I'm sure you'll get lots of other input! :D

 

:iagree:

 

Totally...Just needed to highlight the things that really stood out to me...

[Mandy in TN]

I'm uncomfortable that they aren't putting a lot of effort into writing and math and other skills because it's boring and not fun, but I'm also uncomfortable about having total control (YOU HAVE TO DO THIS --whine, whine, cry, cry) over their studies too. Where's the happy medium? I'm having a hard time finding it. How did they make those one-room school houses work?

The portion in red leads me to believe that you need a scheduled product, so that the schedule can be in control since you are uncomfortable doing so. The one-room school houses worked, because the teacher had total control.

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things? I find if I work with each child, we get things done but it takes ALL DAY!

My 17yo is mostly independent, but he does go to a math tutor and a composition class. My 8yo/2nd grader and just turned 11yo this month/5th grader require that I am available for questions and cheerleading. I can walk around unloading the dishwasher, folding clothes, or whatever. As I move around, I tap on a page if a child is distracted. For the younger two, I always transition them from one subject to the next and make sure they know what they are supposed to do. I definitely look at teaching as a full-time job. I wake each morning knowing that it will take up 8hours of my day even if those 8hours are shared with other responsibilities.

 

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do?

We have certain things that must be accomplished, but I will typically let them choose the order in which their things are completed.

 

Do you keep everyone together on certain subjects and individualize on others? What and which ones?

Topics in the survey subjects of history, geography, and science can be shared by a broad age range. Just expect more participation, additional reading, and output from the older children. Read-alouds or audio books can be listened to by the whole family. Teatime poetry can also be a family event.

 

Readin', writin', and 'rithmetic have skills that must be mastered and should be tailored to the skill level of the individual child.

 

Do your kids still have a love for learning despite the skills practice and other things that often aren't fun? Do you have high school age children that study because they love it?

Habit training is best started early. If kids are accustomed to doing something every day, they are less likely to complain.

 

My 8yo loves learning about math. He was given his first scientific calculator for his birthday and it was his favorite gift. He slept with it for a week.

 

My extra student loves learning about science. She loves anything that has scissors, construction paper, and glue. She also loves yarn- finger knitting, knitting, etc. She likes her chickens, bottle feeding rejected baby lambs, and swimming. She is a really neat young lady.

 

Oldest ds (now in college) had many interests that he explored, studied, and journaled about on his own, because he wanted to do so. My second ds is only interested in things that are useful or amusing. They both have gone on fan fiction binges. All kids are different.

 

OTOH, all kids do complain from time to time. I have things that I say over and over. My extra student says they are Mandy-isms. Depending on the complaint some of my typical responses are:

 

I also don't like washing dishes, but I like eating off clean plates.

 

I also don't like washing clothes, but I don't like wearing them dirty.

 

Make corrections. Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

 

You are wasting your time.

 

And my all time favorite response to complaints about drill work, memory work, and other things of this nature. Issa's famous snail haiku:

 

Snail slowly--

Slowly climb Mt. Fuji!

 

HTH-

Mandy

Edited March 22, 2011 by Mandy in TN

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

 

Are your kids working fairly independently on most things? Dd13 does pretty much all of her school work independently. I only facilitate and help when she needs help. Dd12 does about half of her work independently, and dd8 does about a fourth of her work independently. The youngest only does about 15 to 20 minutes of independent work.I find if I work with each child, we get things done but it takes ALL DAY!Yes, homeschooling 4 dc takes all day. The older they get the more hours per day they will need to spend in study. Dd13 will be spending about 6 to 7 hours next year (8th), dd12 will be spending about 6 (6th\7th), dd8 will be spending about 5 (3rd...this is on the high end for 3rd but she likes school), and ds4 will spend no more than an 1 hour of structured learning (K). I am actively engaged in one on one learning for 6 hours of the day.

 

How much say do your kids get in what they want to study - do they make their own schedules?My oldest gets to decide in what order she does her work but she must complete it in the time frame that I have scheduled. My second oldest doesn't work as efficiently so I give her a schedule of what to do when, and then the younger two have a very specific schedule so I can be sure to have the time to work one on one with them without interruption. My middle schoolers got to choose personal interest studies for history and science this year but next year they will be studying what I choose because I'm getting them ready for high school and I want them to have a certain body of knowledge.

 

Do you just have certain things that are unquestionable that your children MUST do? They must do everything on the schedule; that is different for each dc but math, and language arts are top priority. Do you keep everyone together on certain subjects and individualize on others? What and which ones? It depends on what is being studied. My oldest two are in the same level of grammar and have in the past done science and history together but because they have different learning styles and are becoming farther apart in academic ability (my oldest has made a huge leap this year) I've found it easier to give them each their own program. I'm going to try out Trail Guide to Learning this year for my dd8 and dd12 because it is for 3rd\4th\5th but has a middle school supplement. We will see how it goes. My rule of thumb is that if you can combine without sacrificing correct skill level then go for it.

 

Do your kids still have a love for learning despite the skills practice and other things that often aren't fun? Do you have high school age children that study because they love it? My dc aren't academic. They have tons of things they love doing that have nothing to do with school and that is fine by me. They know that work comes first and that there is nothing wrong with working hard at something that you don't necessarily love in order to get to the really good stuff. I always imagined that when I started homeschooling my dc would be like those I read about that loved learning and would rather read or do a history project than play or pursue their own interest. That just isn't us and as soon as I gave up trying to force my dc into that mold I relaxed, they relaxed and things have gone much smoother.

 

My kids are ds 12, dd 11, ds 8, dd 5 and dd 2...

I would love any input!! Thanks for enduring my ranting!:w00t:

Thanks,

Jennifer

 

My dc are 13, 12, 8, 4 (almost 5) and 2 so I know how hard it can be to juggle it all. Getting a schedule laid out that allows you to jump from dc to dc while the others are completing independent work is the key!

[MerryAtHope]

I have always told my kids that this is THEIR education. I look at my role as researcher and coach, and teacher when necessary (less teaching as they get older--I'm here to facilitate their learning). So my kids get a fair amount of say, not in what subjects they do so much as what curriculum we use. The subjects--math, spelling, LA, science, history etc... are non-negotiable. But what my kids DO for those subjects is VERY negotiable. For example:

 

Math--I studied samples and showed ones that I liked to my son and let him pick the final choice at age 7. He gave me valuable feedback into how he learns through this process, and the result was a program that he was willing to use despite not really loving math as a subject. This year as he was going into pre-algebra (8th grade for him) & the program we were using stopped at that point, we again looked at options. I showed him samples online of programs I'd be willing to use, and he chose the one he liked best.

 

Science--My daughter (6th grade) has basically "unschooled" science the last 2 years. She's very science-minded and I'm not, so I want to not get in her way! I chose some programs that I thought looked good, and then let her choose the books from those. Each day she spends 30 minutes on science and can read, notebook (draw, write or whatever), do experiments, go outside and observe nature, whatever she chooses, but she has to be able to say what she spent her time on. Right now she's working on a science fair project, and I have let it take over the curriculum in many subjects. For a couple of weeks it was her Language arts--I suspended her writing and grammar programs for her to research and write an 8-page report. She's ahead in her math book, so I'm giving her days off of math so she can spend that time working on her model or doing more research. and so on.

 

History--this is my son's field of interest after years of Sonlight books and watching the history channel with dad--we just spent a day not long ago talking about high school and I let him help set the course for what he'll study. He told me his main interests, I showed him some options--he chose a course that he wants for his junior year and then we built a plan around that based on college requirements and his interests.

 

I use workboxes as a kind of structure or spine to our day. Here are pictures and a description of ours--it's 2 years old now, but we still do basically the same thing I described in there. I let my kids decide what order to do things. Some things I determine an amount of time to spend (science, reading, sometimes writing, spelling...), and other times the book determines when they are done (grammar, math, sometimes history...) I really like the workbox system because it gives structure while letting them feel a sense of control--they can see exactly what they need to do and when they are done. And because I allow them a lot of input, we have at least a flavor of relaxed homeschooling, and yet the structure to make sure they are not just dawdling or dilly-dallying.

 

HTH some! Merry :-)

[jenniferp8]

Luann in ID said: I do have high school (and graduated) kids with a love for learning even though I made them do things they didn't want to do (like outlining, Latin, math facts, etc.) Being solid in skills makes learning more fun as they get older. Learning is frustrating when you don't have the necessary skills with which to do it. This is really important for you to understand. If your children do not become solid in the basics, they will not enjoy learning later on. Not making your child do certain academic things when they're young because you don't want to kill their desire for learning *backfires*. I guarantee it.

 

Thanks Luann! That makes a lot of sense to me. I just have a lot of friends who are much more relaxed and tell me "oh, they'll get it when they are ready..." and "if you make them, they'll hate learning..." and my personality type won't let me be comfortable with that type of thinking. I'm a much more structured person and I think trying not to be is causing a lot of my stress.

 

Thanks for everyone's suggestions so far - keep them coming! I'm feeling liberated!! I think I just needed permission to go ahead and be more structured (as dumb as that sounds...) and give my kids more structure as well.

 

I have read WTM and a lot of it speaks to me. So does some CM and some TJEd. I guess I just need to pull what works for us from each philosophy and it's OK.

Jennifer

[Teaching_Three]

I understand how you feel. HSing can be overwhelming sometimes. This year I decided to go with a more textbook cirriculum even though I told myself I would never do that! I'm hoping it will keep us more on track and organized. I also do better with alot of hand holding with teachers manuals. Structure helps so much. I am very excited to start class with our new materials!

[jamajo]

So many great suggestions. I have only been at this for one year with an 8th, 6th, and 4th grader. I think most of us "teach" from our personality styles and tweak based on our childrens' learning style. Because my kids have been to private and christian schools I keep the sobering thought in the back of my mind that no matter what I do I'm still giving them more than what they've gotten. The big picture goal for me is to release kids into the world who have a relationship with God, who can search out answers for themselves, critically think, write/speak well, and get into college. The means to which I get them there is subjective and can be adjusted as often as necessary. So if it looks a little undone and messy from day to day and week to week I'm still moving toward the big picture. Having said that:

 

 

I started out keeping a checklist for the kids to follow but it required so much planning time on my part that the checklist ended up being a record of what was done instead of a checklist of what to do. So I keep this checklist for my records but abandoned the use of it for checking things off for the kids. But I notice that the tutor from Challenge A that DD13 participates in has become very self reliant and motivated by the "checklist." She asks whether it has come every week and begins her work right away without any prompting from me. This was not the case when she was home exclusively with me. She will be back home with me for 9th grade using MFW highschool which also works from plans directed to the student so this new found motivation should continue with her.

 

Funny as it may sounds it didn't occur to me to include her in picking her curriculum until I started to show her what I had decided on for high school and she said "why do you get to choose everything?" So although the younger kids could care less about what curriculum I'm using as they get older I will include them in making them think they helped to choose MFW:D

 

I love the response of the one member who said don't make the mistake of not developing the discipline of getting things done because it has to be done because it sets the foundation for being successful learners later on.. that was encouraging to me. (I would have quoted her exactly, but I'm still learning how to use this forum and can't even change my status from "just visiting" so I don't know how to quote others' responses).

 

We start the day together with grammar (most of it is review for the 8th grader) but we still include her. And we do catechism review together.

DD13 works by herself after that while DD11 & DD9 do HistoryGeography together and I work independently with each one on Math. I'm still trying to figure Science out.

 

I doubt if my kids would say they like school but they constantly find ways to make what we are doing fun. For example when they sit at their desks to work independently they pretend that they are at "work" to include having a phone that rings like an office phone that they answer and talk "office talk." I giggle to myself as they say to each other that they are running out for lattes would anyone like one. Hmm I wonder where they get that from?:001_huh: Sometimes I'll tell them to be quiet so they can finish what they are doing. My kids are always in pretend land (right now they are playing Legos making up scenarios).

[jewel7123]

Listening in......:bigear:

 

Two suggestions, have you thought about using something that has everything already scheduled for you, such as My Father's World? Also, what about trying the Life of Fred math series with your older children to make it a bit more interesting?

[2_girls_mommy]

Yes, I tell my kids what to do. I pay attention to their learning styles, and make adjustments, etc. But yes, my kids are required to do their work.

 

It is fun, in that writing is a mix of copywork, reading narrations, letters to pen pals, thank you cards that they then get to decorate. I give my dd a list at the beginning of the week. She is to do one of these each day.

 

They get to pick things occasionally. We did a science fair. They each got to pick their project, and loved it and learned a lot because of that. They get to enter contests and do what they want for them (art or stories, etc.)

 

The content work is fun: WTM science experiments, SOTW and activities, lots of reading aloud and silent reading, and books on C.D.

 

Art time together learning drawing skills, learning to play music on piano or recorder, etc.

 

These things are intrinsically fun.

 

Is phonics time w/a workbook fun for my 6 yr old? NO. :tongue_smilie: Math for my 3rd grader can be a little dull I am sure. But it has to get done, daily.

[Embassy]

I think school should be fun. I want my children to enjoy school and enjoy learning. It is a goal, not a everyday reality. To achieve the goal I seek to approach teaching in a way that suits their style of learning. But most of all I find I need to be excited about teaching a topic to be able to instill the love for the topic.

 

I require my children to complete their daily schooling as I attempt to engage them into the joyous process of learning new things. Sometimes they don't like things and they still have to do them. Sometimes a spark is lit though. I find one of the most rewarding things with homeschooling is igniting a spark of interest in an area where they previously had a distaste.

 

Independence in our school day isn't a priority. Some subjects or types of curriculum tend to make that easy, but lots of things are done together. We read and discuss together. We sit down and do math together.

 

I find that independence in learning just happens when that spark is lit. It isn't unusual for my boys to run off after school to pursue an educational interest.

[mom@shiloh]

I don't have time to read all the comments right now -- I need to pick up kids in about five minutes -- so forgive me if any of my advice is redundant.

 

Some thoughts: have you tried a curriculum that includes a schedule? Some of them are Sonlight, My Father's World, Tapestry of Grace, etc. This can be helpful in establishing a schedule that works for you.

 

You could also try just establishing one habit at a time. For instance, get consistent with a math or LA schedule, then slowly add in other things.