Can I do this and not be totally obnoxious?

[3lilreds in NC]

So, my SIL stitched a sampler for Schmooey. It's lovely. She even framed it herself. Sadly, it met a mishap in transit and the frame is broken beyond repair. I have to pick a new one. With my inlaws, who are here. Oi.

 

So, when they took it out of the frame, I saw that she'd stretched it over plain cardboard, and secured it with packing tape. As a stitcher, and someone who treasures these things, I would like to get some acid-free foam core board and lace it over that, before we put it back into a frame.

 

My MIL is all in a snit about this. She thinks it would be "just fine" to leave it the way it is. She told FIL "If you hadn't dropped it everything would be just fine!" Which means, Beth wouldn't have seen it and would not be trying to mess with it. Trust me, I'm not misinterpreting; I know my MIL.

 

I'm tempted to take it to a framing place, pay for it myself and have it done right. I know my SIL couldn't afford to do that, and I certainly don't mind her framing it - but since it has to get fixed anyway, I would like to make sure it's done properly. However, my inlaws feel that they should pay for it because FIL is the one who broke the frame. So, even though they have more money than they know what to do with, I am not going to be able to take it to a framing place and have it redone. I will have to do it myself, and I don't mind that. It's just going to be such a PRODUCTION because my MIL is annoyed that I don't think what SIL did is good enough - at least, that's my guess at the source of her annoyance. One never really knows. She's very easy to annoy.

 

Thanks for letting me vent a little bit. This is the 2nd weekend in a row with the ILs. Last weekend was really very nice. This weekend is pushing my tolerance.

 

(I suppose it would be really obnoxious to unstitch the name and date and put it in the way I asked her to, right? She asked how I wanted it. I said, please put Isaac Todd Merle and August 31, 2007. She put Isaac [our last name] and 8-31-07. If you're not going to to what I want, WHY DO YOU ASK ME? Sorry. Rant over.]

[lovemyboys]

That way SIL's effort is "preserved" and yet, you can tell MIL, it will age beautifully so that you can treasure it for years without worrying about it discoloring or splotching.

 

If she's ok with that, you could even slip a couple sheets as buffer. Is it possible to loosen it just enough to do that?

[pmegan]

As a stitcher, cardboard and packing tape is making me twitch! I would get it done right. The way you are telling this story, it makes it sound like the ILs are just visiting? Can you put off getting it reframed until they leave (you keep MEANING to, but just get sidetracked with other stuff!) and then take it to a real framers?

[Mom2boys]

I agree, wait til the in-laws are gone and have it done right to preserve it.

[Carol in Cal.]

I would then have other things to do every time someone talks about fixing the frame, cleverly stalling until the IL's leave. Then I would have it done right, with the better materials.

 

However, restitching would be hostile and rude. I understand the impulse, but I really don't think that you can do that without being insulting.

[Tap]

Then once they are gone, either have it reframed professionally or just correct the backing yourself.

 

I am the same as you, why not do it right the first time, but if you need to step aside to protect someone elses feelings, then so be it. Let it go for now until you have a chance to do it to your likeing.

 

 

If, in the future, they notice the frame change then just pass the bean dip and change the subject. :001_smile:

[3lilreds in NC]

As a stitcher, cardboard and packing tape is making me twitch! I would get it done right. The way you are telling this story, it makes it sound like the ILs are just visiting? Can you put off getting it reframed until they leave (you keep MEANING to, but just get sidetracked with other stuff!) and then take it to a real framers?

 

Yes, they are just visiting. We visited them in MI last weekend for my niece's confirmation, and they are here this weekend because my girls had their ballet performance. I knew it was going to be.... less than fun, but no way out of it.

 

I'm going to try to put off having it done until they leave. They want to pay for the reframing though, so I will probably have to go with them to choose a new frame. Probably the best thing to do is just let them fix it, and when they are gone, take it out and do it again myself. They will never know and I will feel better.

 

The crazy thing is, SIL is a stitcher too. And a scrapbooker, and a quilter. It's not like she doesn't know about acid-free. Thankfully she had the girls' samplers framed - otherwise I'd be sorely tempted to take theirs apart too, LOL.

[3lilreds in NC]

I would then have other things to do every time someone talks about fixing the frame, cleverly stalling until the IL's leave. Then I would have it done right, with the better materials.

 

However, restitching would be hostile and rude. I understand the impulse, but I really don't think that you can do that without being insulting.

 

I know that you are right. She would never see it, because she does not visit here, but you are right. Sigh. I must confess to feeling a little hostile. I am sure I'll get over it.

[Doran]

I'm not sure it will work, though.

 

First, take a deep breath and remember that this too shall pass. ((((Beth))))

 

Now, do you know where you'll be taking it for the reframing? If you can't stall your MIL, you could try this: Call the framing place ahead of time and make an arrangement that will enable you to get what you need to done without your MIL having to know about it. They might be able to charge her for a portion of the framing (again, MIL doesn't need to know that she's not covering the cost of the upgrade), then they could charge you (or take your CC info.) for the better materials. Of course, you'll have to choose a "higher end" framing place for this to work, but maybe that would be a good thing, overall?

 

Hopefully, you'll just be able to stall.

 

 

Ick. Situations like these can be so tricky. :confused:

[3lilreds in NC]

I'm not sure it will work, though.

 

First, take a deep breath and remember that this too shall pass. ((((Beth))))

 

Now, do you know where you'll be taking it for the reframing? If you can't stall your MIL, you could try this: Call the framing place ahead of time and make an arrangement that will enable you to get what you need to done without your MIL having to know about it. They might be able to charge her for a portion of the framing (again, MIL doesn't need to know that she's not covering the cost of the upgrade), then they could charge you (or take your CC info.) for the better materials. Of course, you'll have to choose a "higher end" framing place for this to work, but maybe that would be a good thing, overall?

 

Hopefully, you'll just be able to stall.

 

 

Ick. Situations like these can be so tricky. :confused:

 

This is a really good idea. I have no idea where I can go to pull this off, but it's worth a shot.

 

I did just find a 60% off coupon for Michael's framing, as long as you buy the frame there. That could work. I may try to go in tomorrow while they take the girls to a museum and see what it would cost and how much the frame would be.

 

Otherwise, I'm just going to go with them to choose a new frame, and fix it after they are gone. I can get the acid-free core and lace the thing myself. And, Michael's may be willing to stretch it for me and put it in my frame using my mats. That's what I will find out with a few phone calls tomorrow.

 

Thanks for the great idea!

[Remudamom]

Oh goodness. I don't know anything about stitching, but I'd tell my girls no more ballet recitals til they have their own place!

[OnTheBrink]

I'm not sure it will work, though.

 

First, take a deep breath and remember that this too shall pass. ((((Beth))))

 

Now, do you know where you'll be taking it for the reframing? If you can't stall your MIL, you could try this: Call the framing place ahead of time and make an arrangement that will enable you to get what you need to done without your MIL having to know about it. They might be able to charge her for a portion of the framing (again, MIL doesn't need to know that she's not covering the cost of the upgrade), then they could charge you (or take your CC info.) for the better materials. Of course, you'll have to choose a "higher end" framing place for this to work, but maybe that would be a good thing, overall?

 

Hopefully, you'll just be able to stall.

 

 

Ick. Situations like these can be so tricky. :confused:

 

I have to laugh; your scenario is something Lucy would try to do to fool Ricky. LOL

 

It's not a bad idea, though...

[Doran]

I have to laugh; your scenario is something Lucy would try to do to fool Ricky. LOL

 

It's not a bad idea, though...

 

 

...You got some 'splaining to do! :lol:

 

 

Hmmm. Maybe I'm more like Lucy than I would dare admit! ;)

[Tammyla]

I'll vote for a secret Michael's framing get what you want mission. But...do be very careful. (Whispering in my quiet voice:smilielol5:.) MIL are very...much like elephants and skunks.

[3lilreds in NC]

Oh goodness. I don't know anything about stitching, but I'd tell my girls no more ballet recitals til they have their own place!

 

Don't I wish! The only good news is, after a big broo-ha-ha a few years ago, they no longer stay here - they stay in a hotel. That gives us all a nice break from each other. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who would describe it as "nice," but it makes these visits tolerable. The girls go stay with them and they think the "sleeping hotel" is WAY cool and fun, so that helps.