Rosie_0801 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 (edited) Repeated thanks to those who have shared about their lives and how they raise their individual children. I've read your responses carefully and benefited from them. It's good to know that there are normal and conscientious people doing this. I especially liked this pragmatic comment, "So my philosophy going forward on this is to take it one year at a time, and if the kids seem to be turning into freaks, well, then we can reevaluate." I'm neither a troll, nor a reporter seeking to trick homeschooling mothers into saying embarrassing things, nor a psych student, nor a person from your school board. The well-adjusted members of the forum will appreciate the irony that when I asked a sincere (if blunt) question about socialization, half of the respondents concluded that I was a malicious agent on some covert quest to attack their way of life. You have further to go to perfect the art of couching nasty barbs as pleasantries. You'll want to practice saying nice things without including anything nasty because consistently using that style of communication will leave your kids feeling like they can never do anything right. They'll puff up at the praise, then deflate at the non-constructive criticism. That's not very nice. Then they'll stop listening to you at all because they already know it'll be criticism. Rosie Edited March 1, 2011 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I believe that everything on this board is the property of Susan Wise Bauer, only she doesn't exercise the right to republish our words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I have three sons, who have only been homeschooled. I can't say that I have any particular socialization tricks. They have been involved in Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, with sports (martial arts, rock climbing, soccer and swimming) and in church. One son was asked to join the Odyssey of the Mind team that his friends were one, even though every other member was a student at the local school. When they started to study tae kwon do, the languages of instruction at the school were German and Korean. So they learned German and Korean (at least enough to train). My children are third culture kids, having lived on three continents and having moved every couple of years. That could make them be isolated and restrained, but it has tended to make them willing to make new friends everywhere they go. (I once had a scouting mom complain that her son wasn't in the same group as his kindergarten friends. She asked, "What am I supposed to tell him? That he has to make all new friends?" I bit my tongue, because that is exactly what my sons do on a regular and continuing basis.) What I have expected from them is that they will treat each other as well as friends, neighbors and kids on the playground with politeness and respect. That they will be friendly and deal with the situation at hand as it is rather than as they wish it were. I guess that the proof is in the pudding. Last night we were visiting a boy scout troop to see if the kids wanted to join it (we've recently moved again). They walked in without me, found scouts to talk to, spent the meeting with a patrol and then met me in the lobby at the end, when I came out of the parents' meeting. They had no problem participating and evaluating the troop, even though they didn't know anyone there (most of the scouts were in cub scouts with other members or attend school with someone from the troop). For that matter, my oldest son attended the Nippon Jamboree last summer. He was selected to be the member of his contingent to attend the reception for the opening ceremonies, which included an introduction to the Japanese Crown Prince. By all reports he did fine. As far as the response that you got from board members considering if you were a troll or not, try considering your post and how it would sound if you phrased a similar question on a board for professional teachers (What about achievement? And we all know that there is an achievement problem.) Not only has the board attracted trolls in the past, some with the most outlandish attacks on homeschooling, some with horrible stories played out for weeks to gain sympathy; but also many board members have answered these questions over and over again, posed by friends and family members. It honestly gets tedious. Is there a socialization problem? Perhaps. But not in the sense that you probably meant. Young people are learning how to be future adults. This is a long process with many stumbles and dead ends and wrong turns. I think that there are few of us who have never been rude, cutting, embarrassed, shy, etc. It is part of the human condition and isn't dependent on the setting of ones math instruction. QED!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I have no idea what you might see as a socialization problem, so I have no idea how to address your question. My children have always done multiple things with others outside the home nearly every day of the week. And even if they didn't, I don't think that would make them "unsocialized". Schooling at home was the norm through most of recorded history right into the 20th century and still often is the norm for the rich and/or famous. Why is it okay to be "tutored" (homeschooled) if you're rich, but not otherwise? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I definitely think that social exposure helps. There are studies linking the amount of verbal input children get to their intelligence. Frankly, this is such an elephant-in-the-room issue I don't know whether anything would be gained by using excessive tact in raising the subject. Adam I thought the studies showed it was ADULT interaction. That children around many adults were more verbally advanced than those around only other children (for most of the day). But, I've never looked into it closely, because NO, this is not an elephant in the room issue. No, I don't think it is a problem. If I had a shy, socially unhappy child, I'd work at getting them out more. If I had a child who thrived around grown-ups and didn't have much interest in children, I'd see to that, too. (I sympathize, because I was such a child.) As it is, I have a kid who seems able to talk to anyone, from stopping at the park during school hours and playing very sweetly with toddlers, to playing ping-pong at the senior center his dad goes to. Your post presupposes many things, and it isn't an issue I've ignored or stuck my head in the sand about. For us, there is no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I just saw this on one of my Yahoo groups I belong too, and had to post. I think you'll get a real quick idea of how us homeschoolers feel about the "socialization issue": http://getalonghome.com/2011/02/7135/ ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 The well-adjusted members of the forum will appreciate the irony that when I asked a sincere (if blunt) question about socialization, half of the respondents concluded that I was a malicious agent on some covert quest to attack their way of life. The well-adjusted members of this forum are having a light-hearted chuckle at such a blatant display of ignorance, offering sincere answers to a rude question posed by someone we have no reason to assume is sincere, and then getting back to work as educators, nurturers, facilitators, companions, and all of the many other wonderful responsibilities we engage in as we educate our children. Whatever educational option you and your wife choose for your kids, I hope they grow up to be responsible, caring, wise individuals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anissarobert Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Whether or not you are a troll, my answer is the same. I do not want my son socialized. Look up the word for yourself. By the way you have asked this question, you have proved your own lack of socialization, that is, your inability to fit in with the accepted norm of a particular group. I want my son to be able to get along with people, to stand for his principles, popular or not, and for him to have friends of all ages. The proof of the pudding is in the tasting. There is a lot more to being a good and well liked person than attending public school can contribute. :iagree:But then I usually agree with Patty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 ! Personally I'd like to see the Australian government filled with homeschool graduates. I'm almost certain they could conduct Question Time in a more civilised and witty manner. Rosie :rofl: If they are anything like my kids, they will be pulling everyone up all the time for fallacies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :rofl:If they are anything like my kids, they will be pulling everyone up all the time for fallacies. I bet homeschooled kids can use Macbeth quotes appropriately. :lol: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 The well-adjusted members of this forum are having a light-hearted chuckle at such a blatant display of ignorance, offering sincere answers to a rude question posed by someone we have no reason to assume is sincere, and then getting back to work as educators, nurturers, facilitators, companions, and all of the many other wonderful responsibilities we engage in as we educate our children. Whatever educational option you and your wife choose for your kids, I hope they grow up to be responsible, caring, wise individuals. Indeed. :D Adam seems to have disappeared - ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 IT IS about adult interactions, I am sure. The study I recall had to do with sibling order. That the more the parents weren't watered down, the more vocab the child had (on average). The youngest child perhaps spent more time with some talking-like-an-8-year-old sib than the harried mother who was slaving away to get dinner on the table for the brood (I certainly remember how fast-moving and non-conversational my mother was during her kitchen time, and between that she was ironing and vacuuming and generally being a huge 1950s workhorse). I feel lucky I had very bright sibs 10 and 20 years older than me, and felt I grew up in a whole house of adults. If they had been near to my age, I would have sat all day in class, saying little and almost never being addressed one on one, and spent my time at home romping with 8 year olds while my parents were very busy keeping our big household going. Instead I was taught chess, assembled a Visible Horse, and went sledding with teenaged brothers who were National Merit-type students. We also had a sit-down dinner which lasted an hour, on linen and china, and conversation was "general" (everyone included in every conversation) and "fit for the table". This was the time of "cultural transmission". I certainly see the point of sitting in class and taking notes on biology, but I don't see the point of putting a pack of children learning to read, write, and speak effectively in a class of 30 to listen to one person. These are things you must learn by doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Indeed. :D Adam seems to have disappeared - ? Couldn't stand the heat?:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 The well-adjusted members of the forum will appreciate the irony that when I asked a sincere (if blunt) question about socialization, half of the respondents concluded that I was a malicious agent on some covert quest to attack their way of life. Been on the net long? If you have, then, by what you did and just said, you lack social skills. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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