cross-post- My DS Wants to come home from PS NOW!

[cseitter]

My DS wants to come home NOW from PS. He chose to go to PS at the beginning of this year but he is being bullied pretty bad at school ( I have another post about that) so he and I sat down tonight and did a Pros and Cons list for PS vs HS. He then gets upset and says MOM I really want to come home!

 

UH, where do I begin?? I live in VA so I was going to call HEAV tomorrow and ask. I told him to go to school tomorrow and think, pray and chat with anyone he wanted to about this decision and we would talk again tomorrow afternoon.

 

Anyone pulled a 9th grader mid-year? His grades are good and we actually filed this year as homeschoolers and then he went to PS the second week of school (his choice). What in the world do I do?? :001_huh:

[AnitaMcC]

I would bring him home today. But that is me. I just don't feel that anyone should suffer through being bullied and if the school is not doing anything to stop it, then that is definitely time to bring a kid home.

 

Now as far as the laws and such, what are your homeschool laws? If you already registered as homeschooler, I wonder if you would need to do it again?

 

Good luck and Hugs to your son...

[cseitter]

Thats not what I am sure about. Believe me I would LOVE to bring him home tomorrow but I have to be sure that is what he intends to stick with. He goes back and forth alot. he went back to PS to play sports and he has made the football and BB teams but the coaches were awful.

 

I have been reading the support websited for VA and they say nothing about having a prior NOI and being pulled out. The head of the guidance dept at the school is our bishop at church so I could just give him a call on his cell and tell him what is going on and Tanner isn't coming back but I don't know where to start with curriculum. I had all the curriculum that we were going to do at the beginning of the year but now I have sold it!

[distancia]

First of all, there are laws against bullying in schools. You need to seek action to protect your son NOW.

 

Second: if there is no way out of the situation, withdraw your son. I don't know what the laws are in your state but here in Florida the parent/guardian is given 30 school days from the date of withdrawl to determine a course of action (enroll in another school, homeschooling, etc) and file the necessary paperwork with the county school board.

 

Withdrawing your child mid-semester when s/he has good grades can be more traumatic for the parent than the student! Our DD was a junior in public high school, doing phenomenally well, and one week away from finishing her first semester of classes, some of them for college credit. We (parents) agonized over it, as the situation deteriorated. Bottom line: DDs health and welfare were at stake, and we were hoping (praying) that there was another option for us.

 

The long and short of it is that we did what we had to do. It has been a rough haul but we are all coming out of it stronger and with more benefits than had DD stayed at public school.

[LBS]

if there was any way to resolve the bullying situation, so that he does not feel, later, like he ran away, and then you could make a decision in a calmer period. I've had all three kids bullied in very different ways in public schools, by adults and other students, sometimes the nuttiest situations, and we always went thru a process of going to bat, conferences, support, and protection, enlisting teachers' help, counselors, administrators and more. The resolution was not always perfect or even positive, but we made a lot of effort, and showed the kids what we felt was right. High school is really different, but I have not read your other post to see what the issue is, in more depth, so maybe my comments are not germane. Maybe he can make it thru to have felt he gave it his best shot; maybe you can pull him out and borrow the texts he is working with and finish the year, for these credits, then go back to a homeschool curriculum of your choice. In the Richmond area we have SO many choices, and was just chatting with another homeschooler recently about all the nice resources I hear of Chesterfield folk having (we're in Louisa and Hanover County area.) Also, VaHomeschoolers has a conference coming up pretty soon, with quite a few high school sessions, I think I remember (I don't know if you are experienced homeshooler and know high school homeschool already.) If you just need to find out the legalities I think both of the big homeschool groups in Richmond, HEAV and VaHomeschoolers would know and help you, with exactly what you need to know about your county. )

 

Bullying just cannot be tolerated. I advise you to call that counselor friend, meet with the administrator all teachers who might see the bullying, and when your soft, reasonable manner does not get good results, go at it like your hair is on fire. Our kids should not fear their safety in schools.

 

Okay, I'm going to find your post about the actual situation, in case my comments don't fit.

 

Good, good luck,

LBS

 

Adding: Okay, I thought you had more details that would enlighten me, on your other post. I guess I didn't know exactly what crossposting was....same message both places. So, maybe he just has tried PS, and gave it a good shot, and this is the limit. The sports don't outweigh the bullying. The bullying can be such a terrifying thing, especially for boys.

Edited February 22, 2011 by LBS
Checked other post

[Teachin'Mine]

Cindy there's nothing wrong with homeschooling mid-year. Get him out of there!!! :tongue_smilie:

 

You may find that they will let you keep his texts and just need to return them at the end of the school year. So you may not have to worry about putting together a whole curriculum just yet. That would give him continuity and make it easier to complete the courses he's already started. Then take a good look at what he's using, particularly for math and science, and make sure the texts are good. If one isn't looking up to standards, you can always switch to what you'd like to use for the rest of high school.

 

You'll both be fine. :)

[Karen in CO]

If he wants to come home NOW, please listen to him and bring him home with the understanding that he finishes at home (or in CC classes taken as high school credits).

 

I pulled my ds from school in 7th grade early in the year. He wanted to go back for high school so I let him. I pulled him permanently mid-semester of 10th grade. He started taking classes at the CC the beginning of the next semester for science and foreign language. He's now happily thriving in college.

 

Call him in sick. Give his notice. Talk to the counselor. Discuss the bullying, but don't send him back.

According to HSLD... Virginia—A Legal Analysis , you have 30 days to comply with the rest of requirements and you should file your notification as soon as possible. (from what I read) You will need to contact the school because they will have paperwork for you to fill out and have each teacher sign that will state that you returned the books and such. Ask for a copy of his grades from each class to save for his transcript later. I'd try to follow the same classes he had so if he's in American Government, then you teach government and average his school grade with your grade for the transcript, it will be much easier than figuring out partial credits.

 

Take him to the conference with you if you can. You can start the future together.

 

[cshell]

I agree!!

Bring him home & start over. You will never regret the return home!

I will be praying for you & your son. Please let us know what curriculum you need...

Maybe we can help you out?:001_smile:

[johnandtinagilbert]

If he's at a point of being upset and says, "NOW!" Then do so. Get him out of there!

[G5052]

Karen in CO is correct. There is a procedure for withdrawing, but you can basically do it tomorrow if you wish and then submit your homeschooling paperwork within 30 days.

 

Several friends have run into this locally with different responses. One went to the principal, and they redid the kid's schedule so that he had less contact with the bullies and the problem resolved itself. Another was mostly having problems before school and at lunch, so they got permission to bring him slightly late and have him eat lunch where there was a teacher around. And I know several who did withdraw their students mid-year or late-year. I even know of one case where a previously homeschooled kid lasted all of a morning at public high school. She slipped out at lunch on the first day and called her mom to come get her from the shopping center near the school. She just couldn't take it!

[delaney]

I did it midyear in VA and you just pull him, call the homeschool office and tell them, type the letters with you intended subjects and fill out a form. No big deal but they may continue to call and mark him as absent until the school gets the nod from the HS office that all your stuff is in.

[lionfamily1999]

Pulled my 8th grader out in October. Pulled my older ds out mid-2nd.

 

Take him out. Turn in your letter of intent and curriculum as soon as possible. I believe you have a week to give notice once you've pulled him out. I did it BEFORE I took out either kid. In ds's case it was a fiasco, I gave them a month's notice and they dropped him from everything two weeks before we were supposed to start hsing. With dd, I dropped it off on my way to school to pick her up.

 

ETA, you could use online free resources (and the library) to finish out the year. Purplemath.com, kissgrammar.com (may be wrong about the site address, Kiss Grammar), &tc. Don't forget your library :)

Edited February 22, 2011 by lionfamily1999

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: I wish you and your ds all the best, I know this wasn't an easy decision.

[cseitter]

Thanks Ladies! These are the classes he is taking at the HS. Can you help me figure out what to do with them?

 

English 9

Spanish I

Physical Science

World History (I like TOG but he freaked at the beginning of the year with all the reading- I am an avid reader and he is not!)

Guitar (which he hates)

Algebra I ( I still have the Lial textbook that I bought for this year)

Health/PE 9

[lionfamily1999]

Does he keeps his books or does the school keep them?

[LunaLee]

Even if he doesn't get to keep his books, I bet you could just get the isbn's and find them on Amazon for a really good price. My suggestion would be to do that, since he's already halfway through the year. Then you could use them as a spine and add literature and other assignments as you see fit. You could also just drop the Guitar and let him choose an elective he likes.

[Seldonstone]

I pulled my son out in March of ninth grade year. He asked to be homeschooled in eighth but hubbie and I asked him to try at least one year of high school. We were not listening!:confused: Total disruption to our lives was caused by that building called school. Long story so will not go into it but it did involve bullies. We decided enough harm had been done and pulled him. (btw, the school did take action...they offered all they could...just wasn't enough at that point)

 

I had no clue about this whole new world.:001_huh: I found a guide on the HEAV website to follow. We went to the school, informed the front office I was withdrawing him. We had to go to each class with a form to be signed by each teacher and we cleaned out his locker. I was asked by a couple of people if I had "been approved" so beware. Within the 30 days I filed the NOI, etc. and he has been home ever since...almost two years now. The break he had while I figured out what I was going to do with this child, was good for him.

 

All I can offer is to take action now. Don't wait until major damage has been done.

[Tammyla]

(((Cindy))) I wish you and your ds peace in your decision.

 

 

Bullies should be kicked out of school...period. It's heartbreaking to watch the bullies be coddled, while the kids trying to learn are tormented.

[lionfamily1999]

I pulled my son out in March of ninth grade year. He asked to be homeschooled in eighth but hubbie and I asked him to try at least one year of high school. We were not listening!:confused: Total disruption to our lives was caused by that building called school. Long story so will not go into it but it did involve bullies. We decided enough harm had been done and pulled him. (btw, the school did take action...they offered all they could...just wasn't enough at that point)

 

I had no clue about this whole new world.:001_huh: I found a guide on the HEAV website to follow. We went to the school, informed the front office I was withdrawing him. We had to go to each class with a form to be signed by each teacher and we cleaned out his locker. I was asked by a couple of people if I had "been approved" so beware. Within the 30 days I filed the NOI, etc. and he has been home ever since...almost two years now. The break he had while I figured out what I was going to do with this child, was good for him.

 

All I can offer is to take action now. Don't wait until major damage has been done.

I've never heard of having teachers sign anything :confused:

 

Oh, the guidance counselor called me the day after Jo was pulled :glare: She was being "helpful" by telling me it was a bad idea. After she called Jo "Jacqueline" for about the tenth time I politely informed her we pronounced it "Jocelyn" and that I had everything under control, thankyouverymuch.

 

They will offer "help" and make the withdrawal process sound scary and confusing. Ignore them. Heav.org is an excellent resource and they'll tell you what you need to turn in. A copy of your high school diploma may be required, the noi and curriculum are definites. Anything else is more than is required by the state, iow, it's too much.

[Brindee]

I agree with those that said to take him out! If he's to that point where he's basically begging, it's something I feel would need to be done!

 

I have a whole (older) set of BJU Spanish 1 that I'd give you for the price of shipping, if you'd be interested. You'd at least be able to go over it and see what he does and doesn't know and finish it out.... If you are interested, just pm me.

 

Best wishes on this tough situation!

[cseitter]

Just an update.... I picked him up from school today and guess what?! Of course he wants to stay in PS cause its not so bad..... I knew I was jumping the gun! Thanks everyone!

[regentrude]

I've never heard of having teachers sign anything :confused:

 

Oh yes, ours had to, too , when I withdrew DS. It has nothing to do with homeschooling - it is simply to make sure the student has turned in all books, has no outstanding cafeteria fees, etc. DD had to take a sheet and have all teachers sign off. The procedure would be the same if we had moved away or switched school.

[ChemMommy]

Could you politely ask for copies of his current texts, at least in math, to finish out the year? A polite request directly to a friendly math teacher or principal might do the trick. His science book might also be a nice one to grab.

 

History can easily be done at a public library so I wouldn't sweat that one for now. You might choose to work more directly on writing skills than on lit for the rest of the year.

 

With some basics in place, you can take a deep breath and make some plans for next year.

 

I've never had to pull a child from school, mid-year or not, so I can't tell you what to do but, if my child was begging to come home and if he understood that the decision was for at least the rest of the school year, I'd do it. Doing high school at home seems very frightening, but has honestly been very fulfilling to do at home. It is more work to plan and more expensive to do.

 

God's blessings on your new adventures and peace to your son.